Funny / Forrest Gump

  • Admit it, you wanted to laugh too when Lt. Dan is practically challenging God to strike down their shrimp boat during the hurricane.
    Lt. Dan: You. Will. NEVER. Sink. This. BOAT!!! MAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
  • While Forrest's football team is at the White House to meet President John F. Kennedy, Forrest drinks fifteen bottles of Dr Pepper. When the time comes to shake the president's hand...
    JFK: Congratulations, how does it feel to be an All-American?
    Forrest: I gotta pee.
    JFK: I believe he said he had to go pee!
  • After Dan buys some well-timed stock in Apple Computers, Forrest describes it as "some kind of fruit company."
  • On being shot in the buttocks:
    They said it was a million dollar wound, but the army must keep that money 'cause I still haven't seen a nickel of that million dollars.
    • Forrest actually showing the wound on his behind to LBJ on national television. LBJ's reaction is even better:
    LBJ: (laughing) God damn, son.
  • When the shrimping business isn't going too well, Lt. Dan sarcastically suggests Forrest pray for shrimp. One Gilligan Cut later Forrest is standing in a gospel choir, looking as awkward and out-of-place as a pineapple in a tomato patch.
    • "Lt. Dan would come sometimes too, but... I think he left all the prayin' up to me." Said while we see Dan sitting in the aisle beside a pew and downing booze from a hip flask.
  • "Sorry I had a fight in the middle of your Black Panther party."
  • Dan talking to Forrest about religion:
    Dan: Have you found Jesus yet, Gump?
  • This gem of an exchange halfway through the film:
    Forrest: Lt. Dan! What're you doin' here?
    Lt. Dan: Well, I thought I'd try out my sea legs.
    Forrest: But you ain't got no legs, Lt. Dan.
    Lt. Dan: ...Yes, I know that.
    • And shortly after that, since Forrest had whimsically jumped off his moving boat.
    Forrest: [beat] That's my boat...
  • Forrest's only problem with playing college football is he never knows when to stop running. When we see him play, he not only carries the ball almost effortlessly to the goalline, but bulldozes the marching band and runs clean out of the stadium.
    College was very confusing times.
    • Which leads to how Forrest finally figures out when to stop running; the entire stadium holds up signs and shouts "STOP!!"
    • During his first on-screen game, he gets distracted by his coach and starts running towards him. That first change in direction causes a collision between two of his opponents. When he's told to start running in the right direction again, that second change in direction causes his pursuers to fall in a heap.
  • Forrest narrates Jenny's naked stage performance scene in a mesmerized tone, heavily implying that he got a boner at the time. That's some great work by Tom Hanks.
  • "They sending me to Vietnam. It's this whole other country."
  • Lt. Dan thinking Forrest and Bubba are from Arkansas moments after they tell him they're from Alabama.
  • There's some Black Comedy to be had with Forrest's Innocent Inaccurate trait, starting from his summation of Jenny's father.
  • Forrest being lectured by a Black Panther, who he ignores because he's too busy looking at Jenny.
  • Bubba's mom getting a check from Forrest's shrimp company profits, and fainting after seeing what is likely a lot of zeroes.
  • Forrest in Boot Camp:
    Drill Sergeant: GUUUMP! WHAT'S YOUR SOLE PURPOSE IN THIS ARMY?
    Gump: To do whatever you tell me, Drill Sergeant?
    Drill Sergeant: GODDAMMIT, GUMP! YOU'RE A GODDAMN GENIUS! THAT'S THE BEST OUTSTANDING ANSWER I'VE EVER HEARD! YOU MUST HAVE A GODDAMN I.Q. OF 160! YOU ARE GODDAMNED GIFTED, PRIVATE GUMP!
    • And when Forrest finishes assembling and stripping his M14 in record time:
    Gump: DONE, DRILL SERGEANT!
    Drill Sergeant: GUUUUUUMP! WHY DID YOU PUT THAT WEAPON TOGETHER SO QUICKLY, GUMP?
    Gump: You told me to, Drill Sergeant?
    Drill Sergeant: JESUS H. CHRIST! This is a new company record! If it wouldn't be a waste of such a damn fine enlisted man, I'd recommend you for OCS, Private Gump! YOU ARE GONNA BE A GENERAL SOMEDAY, GUMP, NOW DISASSEMBLE YOUR WEAPON AND CONTINUE!

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Funny/ForrestGump