Funny / For the People

1x01: Pilot

• Jay's first scene is him eating a breakfast taco with onions despite no food being allowed in the courthouse. A few minutes later, Tina stops her speech because...
  Tina: I smell onions. *Beat* I will find you.
• As Jill and Sandra are on their way to make a deal with Roger and Leonard, she hands Sandra a stack of papers. They're not important, they're just a prop so that the opposing council thinks they have something heavy against them.

1x02: Rahowa

• After leaving Allison, Seth is stuck in a tiny apartment with a roommate who hogs the bathroom. He has to dry his hair with a hand air dryer, which leaves it sticking up awkwardly when he finally arrives at the office.
• Roger suggests that Kate get a tall plant in her office to draw the eyes up (since she's always sitting at her desk). When she and Seth find a major break in their case:
  Roger: When this is over I'm getting you each a very tall plant.

1x03: 18 Miles Outside of Roanoke

• Sandra approaches Jay for help with her new case, or rather the lawyer she's against.
  Sandra: You went up against Kate Littlejohn, right?
  Jay: Why would you say that name in this office. This is a safe space.
• He then gives a speech on the fear that Kate has inspired in him since that day.
  Jay: You ever go to a movie and there are like two people talking right behind you? And they're ruining the movie. And you're like "Mm, I really wanna say something, but I'm scared they're gonna dog pile me". And then some other person just says "HEY! SHUT UP!" And the other people talking shut up! And you're really grateful for that person and wondering why you're so wimpy, but then you start worrying that person who told them to shut up is now gonna yell at you about something, and you realize that person is the person who really scares you? That's Kate Littlejohn. She’s intense and uncompromising and instills in you an incalculable fear and dread.
  *Sandra stares at him doubtfully*
  Jay: I think you may not have the same issues I did though.
• "It's so far from objective it's the opposite of objective." "It's subjective?"

1x04: The Library Fountain

• Jay and Allison see Sandra in her office across the room and complain about her beating them to work again when Jill announces an assault case. Sandra immediately appears asking to handle it while Jay and Allison are left looking between her and her now empty and spinning desk chair.
• While trying to convince Roger to make a case against a million-dollar corporation, Roger finds out that Seth has only seen Rocky IV, not the original. He makes watching the original a requirement for getting the case.
  • When Seth declares he's going to bring charges against the CEO himself:
  Roger: Same suit. Same hair. I told you to rent Rocky, not Groundhog Day.

1x05: World's Greatest Judge

• When Allison is put on Duty, Jay and Sandra mock her by silently imitating Tina's Death Glare.

1x06: Everybody's a Superhero

• Seth drags Kate into a meeting with the ATF with him to back her up (saying she should just respond to everything he says with "Good point" or "I agree"). It doesn't go as planned.
  ATF Agent: Who's she?
  Seth: Kate, she’s my colleague.
  Kate: Good point, I agree.
  • She then ends up agreeing with the ATF agents Seth's trying to argue against.
• Everything about Sandra being forced to defend a costumed vigilante.

1x07: Have You Met Leonard Knox?

• Allison tries to mock Jay for biking to work each day by calling him Premium Rush. He retorts that the movie changed his life.
• Jay has to prove that his client had an existing injury and did not throw a tennis match. Celia counters that he was seen at a charity event the same day tossing children into the air.
  Jay:...How big were the children?
  Celia: You know, pretty big.
  Jay:...Took me a long time to find that video.
  Celia: I'm sorry.
• This exchange between Kate and Roger.
  Kate: I'm not here to make an emotional appeal.
  Roger: I think that's playing to your strengths.

1x08: Flippity-Flop

• Roger asking people their favorite animal. Seth likes otters because they do the thing with their hands—then demonstrates. Kate doesn’t like animals, mistakes a red panda for a cat, and claims the picture of one makes her itchy.
  • Everyone declaring Kate the new animal person despite her exasperated denial. Also Seth trying to figure out how she can't like animals.
  Seth: What if they’re endangered?
  Kate: Then it’s probably time for them to go. I saw Jurassic World.
  Seth: I really think you need a pet. Do you have a pet?
  Kate: I don't like things that lick me.
  Seth: First of all, that's not a great rule. And you could get a fish.
• Jay and Kate’s death glare as he visits the prosecutor office.
  Jay: I've been waiting for this moment for a long time. And there's just one thing I want to say to you. *Beat* Where is the elevator?

1x09: Extraordinary Circumstances

• Anya calls Kate weird when the two are together in bed that morning and keep getting interrupted by Kate's many, many alarms. Kate tries to defend herself, but then Anya points out that Kate alphabetizes her soup.
• When Kate is late to work (the sun is out, so she's late by her standards), Seth comes up with an elaborate theory about her secretly working on another floor and keeping her first office furnished to serve as a decoy. Leonard buys it.
• The three prosecutors making a plan to stop a reporter from exposing their investigation into a Senator, and Kate decides that Seth should be the one to talk to her.
  Kate: He's real, Mid Western, relatable, attractive -
  Seth: Thank you!
  Kate: - in a bland, non-threatening sort of way.
  Seth: I'm sorry?

1x10: This is What I Wanted to Say

• Jay fakes being On Duty to flirt with Lara and ends up getting saddled with a case against Kate. As punishment, he is forced to be On Duty for real.
• "Do you realize I have an actual fear of fluorescent colors because of her? Because of the tabs! A clinically verifiable phobia. I have been treated for this. Unsuccessfully!"
• Robert and Jill are both outrageously chipper the morning after they sleep with each other, which confuses both of their offices.
• Seth gets a case because Roger knew Leonard would complain about it, whereas Seth would say he "appreciates the opportunity" and then grumble something under his breath. He does exactly that.
• Kate's list of things Leonard wouldn't like about Austin to convince him to not accept a position there.
  Kate: People in Austin spend more time waiting in line for food than any other city in America.
  Leonard: You're insane.
  Kate: Well maybe I should move to Austin where hundreds of insane people stand on a bridge and wait for bats to fly out at night. Now look I like animals as much as any one but bats? Here is a list of other things that I know you hate that you can expect a lot of in Austin. Hundred degree days - Austin had 73 in 2011. No pro sports, very few black people, cricket swarms, the never-changing reality that it is surrounded by Texas. Also the worst cities are the ones that double as people's first names. Think about it.

2X1: First Inning

• In a wonderful Call-Back to the first season finale, Leonard calls Kate to admit she was dead right on her entire "warning rant" about Texas.
• Jay has to defend an incredibly selfish and lazy 34-year old woman on drug-dealing charges. He tells her parents about a deal that will help her avoid jail time, expecting them to be happy. Instead they're upset as they are the ones who turned her in in the first place as they're sick and tired of her still living with them.
  Jay: Have you asked her to leave?
  Mother: 137 times.
  Father: This year.
  • They even tried to serve her with eviction papers and hoped that being a convicted felon will break their condo rules.
  • Having gotten the deal settled, Jay wants a meatier case and is given one about mail theft. He scoffs "who steals mail?" Gilligan Cut to him right back with the exact same client who defends it on making money.
  • The Running Gag of people bringing up how Jay still lives with his mom.

2x3: Minimum Continuing Legal Education

• Seth's wild plans to try and get a guy out of an embassy which includes cutting himself as a pizza delivery man and selfies with a tiger.
  Leonard: Oh, no, not a tiger, I saw The Hangover!
• Allison is amused by Jay worrying he's on a losing streak because he took a different route to work. He shares a ride with her, then he wins a case and she loses hers. Jay is worried he "stole" Allison's winning touch and Allison is amused...until she hears Jill go wild about it and realizes just about every other attorney in the building holds to some weird superstition that they take seriously.
  • Jill even has a massive row of candles set up in an attempt to "purge the bad vibes."
• Kate's elaborate talk (off of speed lesson recordings) on how Seth's attempts to win a case could spark a war between countries in Europe.
  Kate: I said worst case.

2 X 4 The Vast Immovable Object

• Leonard gives a lecture on his job to a pack of six year old kids who have no idea what he does. Seth wins them over with magic tricks.
• The entire subplot of Sandra and Kate getting involved in a case that escalates into a federal sting of a market for illegal body parts. The way both women bond on "how the hell did we get into this?" is beautiful.
  • The client demands Sandra accompany him to a sting rather than Kate as "she scares me."
  • The client shows up late for the sting as he was busy gathering real body parts. Then he babbles about meeting some buddies at the hotel which reveals that practically every person he's ever sold parts to is there for an even bigger sting.
  • Sandra decides to take advantage of the case to stay at the hotel's nice pool for a break...and finds Kate already sitting there. They just shrug "we deserve it" and sit back.

2X5 One Big Happy Family

• Sandra is inspired by the previous episode to act more professional such as Kate, cleaning up her office and taking cases more seriously. Allison's reaction is to seriously wonder if Kate has somehow put on a mask or switched bodies with Sandra.
• When his apartment needs rehab work, Seth ends up rooming with Jay and his parents. This pushes Jay to think it's finally time to move out but has no idea what the cost of a place would be. Seth, meanwhile, realizes he loves being with Jay's parents and doesn't want to leave.

2X7 The Boxer

• Seth ruthlessly mocked on his bow tie.
  Roger: Are you announcing the arrest of Jesse James? In Tombstone?
  Roger: (as Seth leaves) This will give you more time for your barbershop quartet.
  • Even Kate gets into it by calling him "Boo-Boo."
  • And then on the subway, a woman talks to him in a strange language before showing a picture on her phone of Pee Wee Herman.
• Seth outdoes himself in idiocy by realizing he accidentally left the office with a brick of cocaine from an evidence pile.
  Jay: I'll help you. This is not just your problem, this is our problem.
  (a thief runs up and steals the bag of cocaine right off of Seth's shoulder)
  Jay: Dude, you've got a problem.
• Jay chastises Seth for actually searching for how much cocaine can be sold for online.
• Seth's frantic rantings are great from missing the ocean to thinking prisons still use rock piles.

2 X 9 Who Are We Now

• Seth is in the public defender's office looking for Jay while Jay is at the D.A.'s office looking for Seth while Jill and Roger are on the phone with each other. Kate and Sandra talk on the phone, each baffled with Sandra comparing it to "The Herschel Walker trade."
  Kate: I don't follow sport.
  Sandra: Who says sport? Oh, God, you lived in England, didn't you?