- When Lucy beats up Henry's friend, Ula, with a baseball bat:
Ula: (running off in the distance) You crazy bitch!Lucy: Yeah, keep runiiiing!
- Henry and Lucy are explaining Lucy's condition to a couple at a party.
Woman: So every single day you have to make her fall in love with you all over again?Henry: Pretty much.Woman: [hits her boyfriend] Asshole! You don't even open the car door for me anymore! (Also, she's pregnant)
- Any scene with Jocko the Walrus.
- When Lucy stops to help a "stranded" Henry by the side of the road.
Henry: Appreciate your time. Not everybody would have stopped like you. You're real sweet.Lucy: Oh, yeah. Thank you.Henry: Okay.Lucy: Okay.[Henry pretends to get electrocuted while jump-starting his car]Henry': Ha! I can't believe you fell for that!Lucy: (sadly) Well... my grandfather died while trying to jump-start a car...Henry: Oh... I'm so sorry. I was just joking around.Lucy: I can't believe you fell for THAT!
- When Henry opens up the parting gift that Lucy's dad gave to him.
Henry: The Beach Boys? ... (beat) How nice of that man to give me a CD that would remind me of all the wonderful times I shared with his daughter. WHAT AN ASSHOOOLE!
- Smash Cut to Henry steering the boat, sobbing hysterically as he sings poorly along to Wouldn't It Be Nice.
- When Henry discovers Lucy's paintings of him, one of them is simply a guy with an egg for a head.
- "Hi! I'm Tom!"