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* '''Henry:''' ''(to Marlin)'' Happy birthday, sir. What are you, like, 200 today?
* When Henry takes Lucy to the brain trauma institute for the first time (from her point of view):
-->'''Security Guard 1:''' Hey Lucy, good to see you again!
-->''[Lucy walks by quietly and warily]''
-->'''Security Guard 1:''' What the hell's her problem?
-->'''Security Guard 2:''' She doesn't remember who you are, brah.
-->'''Security Guard 1:''' Oh yeah... I suck at this job!
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** SmashCut ''again'' to Henry charging back to shore, realizing that [[spoiler:''Lucy remembers him without being prompted!'']]

to:

** SmashCut ''again'' to Henry charging back to shore, realizing that [[spoiler:''Lucy ''Lucy remembers him without being prompted!'']]prompted!''

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Removed: 279

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-->'''Ula''': Stupid haole! ''('''[[BatterUp WHACK]]!''' falls to the ground)''\\
'''Lucy''': Take that! And that! And that! And that! ''(kicks Ula causing him to stumble, turns to check on Henry)'' Are you okay? I'll be right back! ''(Runs after Ula, Ula runs away)''\\
'''Henry Roth''': No, no, no, no, no! He's had enough. Oh...I'm sorry!\\

to:

\n-->'''Ula''': Stupid haole! ''('''[[BatterUp WHACK]]!''' ''(Lucy [[BatterUp whacks Ula with the bat]], and he falls to the ground)''\\
'''Lucy''': ''(hitting Ula over and over)'' Take that! And that! And that! And that! ''(kicks Ula Ula, causing him to stumble, then turns to check on Henry)'' Are you okay? I'll be right back! ''(Runs after Ula, Ula as he runs away)''\\
'''Henry Roth''': No, no, no, no, no! He's had enough. Oh... I'm sorry!\\



'''Ula''': ''(in the distance)'' Oh kamehameha!\\
'''Ula''': ''(running off in the distance)'' Oh, you crazy bitch!\\

to:

'''Ula''': ''(in the distance)'' Oh kamehameha!\\
'''Ula''': ''(running off in the distance)''
Oh, kamehameha! [...] Oh, you crazy bitch!\\




The reason this movie is one of the best [[RomanticComedy Romantic Comedies]] of ''all time'' -- most of the romantic moments are ''jokes.''
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** Even funnier when the character is played by comedian actor Maya Rudolph.

to:

** Even funnier when the character is played by comedian actor Maya Rudolph.Creator/MayaRudolph.
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''[nry pretends to get electrocuted while jump-starting his car, Lucy screams]''\\

to:

''[nry ''[Henry pretends to get electrocuted while jump-starting his car, Lucy screams]''\\
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'''Lucy''': Take that! And that! And that! And that! ''(kicks Ula causing him to stumble)'' Are you okay? I'll be right back! ''(Runs after Ula, Ula runs away)''\\

to:

'''Lucy''': Take that! And that! And that! And that! ''(kicks Ula causing him to stumble)'' stumble, turns to check on Henry)'' Are you okay? I'll be right back! ''(Runs after Ula, Ula runs away)''\\
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-->'''Ula''': Stupid haole! ''('''WHACK!''' falls to the ground)''\\

to:

-->'''Ula''': Stupid haole! ''('''WHACK!''' ''('''[[BatterUp WHACK]]!''' falls to the ground)''\\

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Changed: 160

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*** SmashCut ''again'' to Henry charging back to shore, realizing that [[spoiler:''Lucy remembers him without being prompted!'']]

to:

*** -->'''Henry:''' Oh, why?! Why would you do this to me?! YOU SICK BASTARD!
**
SmashCut ''again'' to Henry charging back to shore, realizing that [[spoiler:''Lucy remembers him without being prompted!'']]

Added: 318

Changed: 39

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'''Lucy''': ''(in the distance)'' Ooh! My eye!!\\
'''Lucy''': You got him!\\

to:

'''Lucy''': '''Ula''': ''(in the distance)'' Ooh! My eye!!\\
'''Lucy''': '''Henry''': You got him!\\



'''Lucy''': ''(in the distance)'' Oh kamehameha!\\

to:

'''Lucy''': '''Ula''': ''(in the distance)'' Oh kamehameha!\\



[Henry pretends to get electrocuted while jump-starting his car, Lucy screams]\\

to:

[Henry ''[nry pretends to get electrocuted while jump-starting his car, Lucy screams]\\screams]''\\



'''Lucy''': (sadly) Well... my grandfather died while trying to jump-start a car...\\

to:

'''Lucy''': (sadly) ''(sadly)'' Well... my grandfather died while trying to jump-start a car...\\



'''Lucy''': I can't believe you fell for THAT! (laughs)\\

to:

'''Lucy''': I can't believe you fell for THAT! (laughs)\\''(laughs)''\\



* A couple Lucy introduces to Henry tells them some good news:
--> '''Lucy''': I can't believe you're finally pregnant! Congratulations!\\
'''Woman's boyfriend''': [[TooMuchInformation And I got her on the first try!]]\\
'''Woman''': Yeah, easy.



** Even funnier when the character is played by comedian actor Maya Rudolph.



-->'''Henry:''' The Beach Boys? ... (beat) How nice of that man to give me a CD that would remind me of all the wonderful times I shared with his daughter. '' '''WHAT AN ASSHOOOLE!''' ''

to:

-->'''Henry:''' The Beach Boys? ... (beat) ''(beat)'' How nice of that man to give me a CD that would remind me of all the wonderful times I shared with his daughter. '' '''WHAT AN ASSHOOOLE!''' ''

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Changed: 70

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-->'''Ula''': ''(running off in the distance)'' Oh, you crazy bitch!\\

to:


-->'''Ula''': Stupid haole! ''('''WHACK!''' falls to the ground)''\\
'''Lucy''': Take that! And that! And that! And that! ''(kicks Ula causing him to stumble)'' Are you okay? I'll be right back! ''(Runs after Ula, Ula runs away)''\\
'''Henry Roth''': No, no, no, no, no! He's had enough. Oh...I'm sorry!\\
'''Lucy''': ''(in the distance)'' Ooh! My eye!!\\
'''Lucy''': You got him!\\
'''Lucy''': ''(in the distance)'' Not good enough!\\
'''Lucy''': ''(in the distance)'' Oh kamehameha!\\
'''Ula''':
''(running off in the distance)'' Oh, you crazy bitch!\\
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[Henry pretends to get electrocuted while jump-starting his car]\\

to:

[Henry pretends to get electrocuted while jump-starting his car]\\car, Lucy screams]\\



'''Lucy''': I can't believe you fell for THAT!\\

to:

'''Lucy''': I can't believe you fell for THAT!\\THAT! (laughs)\\
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** The commentary has the director noting they were all very worried the audience would think a bunch of paintings of Adam Sandler were supposed to be the joke on their own, and would miss the real joke.

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* Any scene with Jocko the Walrus.
* "Hi! I'm Tom!"



* Henry and Lucy are explaining Lucy's condition to a couple at a party.
--> '''Woman''': So every single day you have to make her fall in love with you all over again?\\
'''Henry''': Pretty much.\\
'''Woman''': [''hits her boyfriend''] Asshole! You don't even open the car door for me anymore! (Also, she's pregnant)
* Any scene with Jocko the Walrus.
* When Lucy stops to help a "stranded" Henry by the side of the road.

to:

* Henry and Lucy
The reason this movie is one of the best [[RomanticComedy Romantic Comedies]] of ''all time'' -- most of the romantic moments
are explaining Lucy's condition to a couple at a party.
--> '''Woman''': So every single day you have to make her fall in love with you all over again?\\
'''Henry''': Pretty much.\\
'''Woman''': [''hits her boyfriend''] Asshole! You don't even open the car door for me anymore! (Also, she's pregnant)
* Any scene with Jocko the Walrus.
''jokes.''
* When Lucy stops to help a "stranded" Henry by the side of the road. Purposeful MeetCute has never been more ridiculous ''or'' sweet.



* Henry and Lucy are explaining Lucy's condition to a couple at a party... and the woman is ''pregnant.''
--> '''Woman''': So every day you help her to realize what happened... and you wait patiently for her to be okay with it... then get her to fall in love with you again?\\
'''Henry''': Yes, ma'am. \\
''{{Beat}}''\\
'''Woman''': [''hits her boyfriend''] You ''asshole!'' You don't even open the fricking car door for me anymore!



*** SmashCut ''again'' to Henry charging back to shore, realizing that [[spoiler:''Lucy remembers him without being prompted!'']]



* "Hi! I'm Tom!"

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Changed: 60

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-->'''Ula''': ''(running off in the distance)'' Oh, you crazy bitch!
-->'''Lucy''': Yeah. '''''[[SuddenlyShouting KEEP RUNNIIIING!!]]'''''

to:

-->'''Ula''': ''(running off in the distance)'' Oh, you crazy bitch!
-->'''Lucy''':
bitch!\\
'''Lucy''':
Yeah. '''''[[SuddenlyShouting KEEP RUNNIIIING!!]]'''''



--> '''Woman''': So every single day you have to make her fall in love with you all over again?
--> '''Henry''': Pretty much.
--> '''Woman''': [''hits her boyfriend''] Asshole! You don't even open the car door for me anymore! (Also, she's pregnant)

to:

--> '''Woman''': So every single day you have to make her fall in love with you all over again?
-->
again?\\
'''Henry''': Pretty much.
-->
much.\\
'''Woman''': [''hits her boyfriend''] Asshole! You don't even open the car door for me anymore! (Also, she's pregnant)



-->'''Henry''': Appreciate your time. Not everybody would have stopped like you. You're real sweet.
-->'''Lucy''': Oh, yeah. Thank you.
-->'''Henry''': Okay.
-->'''Lucy''': Okay.
-->[Henry pretends to get electrocuted while jump-starting his car]
-->'''Henry'''': Ha! I can't believe you fell for that!
-->'''Lucy''': (sadly) Well... my grandfather died while trying to jump-start a car...
-->'''Henry''': Oh... I'm so sorry. I was just joking around.
-->'''Lucy''': I can't believe you fell for THAT!

to:

-->'''Henry''': Appreciate your time. Not everybody would have stopped like you. You're real sweet.
-->'''Lucy''':
sweet.\\
'''Lucy''':
Oh, yeah. Thank you.
-->'''Henry''': Okay.
-->'''Lucy''': Okay.
-->[Henry
you.\\
'''Henry''': Okay.\\
'''Lucy''': Okay.\\
[Henry
pretends to get electrocuted while jump-starting his car]
-->'''Henry'''':
car]\\
'''Henry'''':
Ha! I can't believe you fell for that!
-->'''Lucy''':
that!\\
'''Lucy''':
(sadly) Well... my grandfather died while trying to jump-start a car...
-->'''Henry''':
car...\\
'''Henry''':
Oh... I'm so sorry. I was just joking around.
-->'''Lucy''':
around.\\
'''Lucy''':
I can't believe you fell for THAT! THAT!\\
'''Henry''': [[ActuallyPrettyFunny Oh, my God]]! That was ''[[{{Touche}} very]]'' good!
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-->'''Ula''': (running off in the distance) You crazy bitch!
-->'''Lucy''': Yeah, keep runiiiing!

to:

-->'''Ula''': (running ''(running off in the distance) You distance)'' Oh, you crazy bitch!
-->'''Lucy''': Yeah, keep runiiiing!Yeah. '''''[[SuddenlyShouting KEEP RUNNIIIING!!]]'''''
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* "Hi! I'm Tom!"
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* When Henry discovers Lucy's paintings of him, one of them is simply a guy with an egg for a head.
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* When Henry opens up the parting gift that Lucy's dad gave to him.
-->'''Henry:''' The Beach Boys? ... (beat) How nice of that man to give me a CD that would remind me of all the wonderful times I shared with his daughter. '' '''WHAT AN ASSHOOOLE!''' ''
** SmashCut to Henry steering the boat, sobbing hysterically as he sings poorly along to ''Wouldn't It Be Nice.''
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added an example with a quote

Added DiffLines:

* When Lucy stops to help a "stranded" Henry by the side of the road.
-->'''Henry''': Appreciate your time. Not everybody would have stopped like you. You're real sweet.
-->'''Lucy''': Oh, yeah. Thank you.
-->'''Henry''': Okay.
-->'''Lucy''': Okay.
-->[Henry pretends to get electrocuted while jump-starting his car]
-->'''Henry'''': Ha! I can't believe you fell for that!
-->'''Lucy''': (sadly) Well... my grandfather died while trying to jump-start a car...
-->'''Henry''': Oh... I'm so sorry. I was just joking around.
-->'''Lucy''': I can't believe you fell for THAT!
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--> '''Woman''': [''hits her boyfriend''] Asshole! You don't even open the car door for me anymore!

to:

--> '''Woman''': [''hits her boyfriend''] Asshole! You don't even open the car door for me anymore!anymore! (Also, she's pregnant)
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Seriously, where is the \"Everything\'s More Goo Goo G\'joob with Walruses\" trope page already?

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* Any scene with Jocko the Walrus.
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--> '''Woman:''' So every single day you have to make her fall in love with you all over again?
--> '''Henry:''' Pretty much.
--> '''Woman:''' [hits her boyfriend] Asshole! You don't even open the car door for me anymore!

to:

--> '''Woman:''' '''Woman''': So every single day you have to make her fall in love with you all over again?
--> '''Henry:''' '''Henry''': Pretty much.
--> '''Woman:''' [hits '''Woman''': [''hits her boyfriend] boyfriend''] Asshole! You don't even open the car door for me anymore!anymore!
----
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--> '''Woman:''' [hits her boyfriend] Jerk!

to:

--> '''Woman:''' [hits her boyfriend] Jerk!Asshole! You don't even open the car door for me anymore!

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