Funny: False Memory
- Creepy though he is, some of Ahriman's internal narration can be pretty damn hilarious, especially when everything starts falling apart around his ears. Particularly when he claims his professional diagnosis of his Keanuphobe is "Rich bitch ditz nitwit."
- At one point, Ahriman wonders how much more amusing and ironic it would have been had he brainwashed Keanu Reeves himself—instead of the "actor" he did—to bite off the President's nose.
- Martie and Dusty's brief squabble over whether or not "heretofore" is the kind of word only a pretentious asshole would use.
- Pretty much anything involving Fig Newton.