The first film:
- Detective Fowler in general. He overacts so much, and he keeps pulling out his penis and asking Deuce questions about it. Questions he should really be asking a doctor instead.
- When Deuce first has Antoine's house to himself, he runs into the bedroom and flops on the giant bed... and notices a used condom right next to his face. Cue Deuce raking the sheets off the bed and boiling them in a pot.
- Deuce tries out all three remotes; one of the activates the TV, which is playing porn (loudly). The doorbell rings, and a Girl Scout is at the door.
Girl Scout: Eew, what are you watching?! You're gross! You're a sick man and I'm gonna tell!
- This dialogue:
T.J.: See this ring? Topaz, my mother's birthstone. Know where I got the money for it?
T.J.: Man-whoring! See this keychain? Mini yo-yo. Know where I got the money for it?
T.J.': Stock market. But I got the money for the stock market from man-whoring.
- Deuce's first client is a woman with a vicious guard dog. Right as they're about to get started, the dog bangs against the door, very quickly breaking through and barking at Deuce. It's about the nastiest-looking dog ever.
"Maybe you better go..."
- Norm MacDonald as the bartender:
Bartender: (after handing Deuce a martini and two olives) $8.50.
Deuce: Eight dollars?
Bartender: And fifty cents.
Deuce: Well, how much just for a plain cranberry juice?
Bartender: Uh, three dollars.
Deuce: I'll go for that.
Bartender: (hands it to him) There you go. That's $11.50.
Deuce: Uh, no, no. Perhaps you misunderstood me. I wish to cancel my original order of the martini and two olives and go for just the plain cranberry Juice by itself for the three dollars. And I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you.
Bartender: Uh, perhaps you don't understand. If you don't pay me now, I'm gonna take this swizzle stick... and, uh, I'll be shovin' that right up your pee-hole.
- While taking the tall woman on a date, an off-screen guy shouts, "That's a huge bitch!"
- Deuce takes Ruth (who has Tourette's) to a baseball game, where her random obscenities fit right in. After shouting "WHORES!", nearby fans think she's talking about the players and show their support.
- When Deuce celebrates his dad's birthday:
Vic: Bob, we have an overflowing toilet in the ladies' bathroom. There is shit everywhere. It's a real mess. You think you could get in there and take care of that for me?
Bob Bigalow: No worries, Vic. Right on it. I'd like you to meet my son's girlfriend, Kate.
Vic: Kate, nice to meet you. Hi Deuce. So could you get in there, Bob? I mean, I got a party of ten coming in, and I am up to my ankles in human crap. It's a real stinkfest back there.
- In the climax, Deuce has to run to the pet store to buy a new rare fish before Antoine gets home. After buying the fish in question, the clerk asks if he needs anything else. After hesitating a second, he says "On second thought, you'd better give me some of those sea snails."
- How Fluisa survives an arrow to the chest? A full cooked chicken was in her shirt.
- The ending is funny in how incredibly abrupt it is. After a brief battle between Deuce and Antoine, Detective Fowler comes in and says Antoine is under arrest, then T.J. and Bergita bust out of the closet they were hiding in, looking disheveled. Bergita (who was blind) announces: "I can see!... And you're black!... I knew it." Iris Out on Deuce's head.
- The Where Are They Now epilogue: When the bartender appears, the subtitles read: "Norm MacDonald only worked one day on the movie."