Funny: Conan the Destroyer

  • "Perhaps they mean to capture us … and torture us to death." Malak promptly goes back to hiding under the table.
  • Conan notices the same camel he punched in the first film and tries to apologize. The camel decides to get even instead. Conan then proceeds to do the same.
  • While Conan is fighting the wizard, Malak asks Akiro to get the mirror door open. Akiro fails in his first attempt, so he spits in his hands, rubs them together and really gets serious, but still to no avail. Malak is less than pleased with the wizard's lack of progress.
    "A fine magician you are! Go back to juggling apples!"
  • The night after the battle with the Wizard has Conan drunkenly declaring his devotion to Valeria and claiming that Zula's staff is not a real weapon, but a "toothpick". Then he faceplants into Bumbaata's chest and collapses.
  • Malak claims that he heard of a secret entrance from his "cousin's brother's sister. Later the party gets into an argument over whether it was his cousin's brother's sister or his sister's brother's cousin. All of these relations boil down to one thing: his cousin.
  • The Princess asking around for sex advice. Malak is too flustered to give any—any that makes sense, anyway. Zula's? "Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrab him! And take him!"
  • Zula freaking out a rat, realizing that she's making a fool of herself, and then shrugging sheepishly. Conan shakes his head.
  • Malak's completely superfluous Coup de Grâce on Dagoth moments after Conan had done the same, causing the theme music to swell once again, and just as triumphantly as for Conan.