Funny / Chad Vader

General

• Chad's overly serious and dramatic approach to, well, everything on the job is the source of much of the series' humor.
• The Opening Credits to Season 1: an acoustic guitar cover of the Imperial March, played over Chad using his Force powers to make an apple from the produce department jump into his hand (and examining it dramatically).
• All of Chad's fantasies about killing Maggie, ranging from simply strangling her to tricking her into getting blown up with a bomb.

Season 1

A Galaxy Not So Far Away (S1 E1)

• Right in the first scene, there's Chad reprimanding Tony for taking too long to stock the shelves with cans. The very first lines of this show?
  Chad: What is the meaning of this?
  Tony: The meaning of what?
  Chad: I ordered this task to be completed an hour ago! (Dramatically) You have failed me for the last time.
  Tony: That's what you said the last time.
  Chad: I have been too forgiving in the past. Do not fail me again.
  Tony: Because that'll be the last time?
  Chad: Yes! No! Yuh- I don't know. Continue stocking!

The Date (S1 E2)

• Chad's training exercise with Jeremy and Tony.
  Chad: I will pretend to be a customer, and you will respond to me in the appropriate manner. Commander Edwards?
  Tony: It's Tony.
  Chad: I was wondering if you could direct me to the frozen foods aisle?
  Tony: We're standing in it!
  Chad: (gestures dramatically) Search your feelings. Feel the ans-
  Tony: I don't need to search my-
  Chad: Commander Wickstrom?
  Jeremy: Aisle five, Sir!
  Chad: (rubs his chin) Most impressive.
  Tony: This is stupid. (walks off)
  • Meanwhile, Jeremy continues standing there with a creepy, adoring grin plastered on his face.
• After Chad announces his decision to make Jeremy his apprentice, he begins waving his red lightsaber around dramatically...slicing a bread display in half and knocking it over.
• While on their date, Clarissa asks Chad why he wears the suit and helmet. He reveals that he was involved in a near-fatal bike accident. Not a motorcycle; a bicycle. Which he drove off of an embankment and into a volcano.
  • There's also the fact that he received his suit and helmet from his "famous brother". Given that Darth Vader canonically hated his life support suit (comparing wearing it to being buried alive), what does that say about Chad's relationship with his famous sibling?

The Night Shift (S1 E3)

• The entire episode after Chad is made the night manager.
• Chad's exchange with Lionel.
  Chad: Hello, Lionel. I am Lord Vader, the new night shift manag-
  Lionel: Twenty-five cents...a can.
  Chad: What?
  Lionel: Tomato sauce. It's on sale. That lady bought like, ten cans. She saved a lot.
  Chad: Uh...what lady?
  Lionel: She was here about an hour ago. She saved a lot.
  Chad: ...Yes. Well, I must return to my-
  Lionel: Muffins. (beat) Swiss Cheese...roast beef...
  Chad: Oh...kay...
  Lionel: Do you like lightbulbs?
• "THERE'S A GUY SLEEPING ON THE MEAT!"
  • "You guys! Who took my meat pillow?"
• Chad siccing Jeremy on the shoplifter is one of the biggest highlights of the episode. "KILL."
  • That plan doesn't go so well: Jeremy grapples with the shoplifter for five seconds before running away in fear.
• Weird Jimmy's cameo.
  Weird Jimmy: [slides into view, pushing his broom] You're doomed. [Points at Chad] Doomed! DOOOOMED! [quietly slides backwards out of sight, still pointing]
  Chad: This. Is. Bullshit.
• Next, Chad finds a woman randomly throwing merchandise she doesn't want on the floor.
  Chad: Oh come on! Just because it is the middle of the night does not mean this store is your personal trash heap! Ugh! I hate the night shift.
• Chad tries to call up Clarissa for another date (she stood him up for their last one). He's working all night...but she can meet up with him when his shift ends at six A.M.!
• Chad's encounter with Hal at the beginning. He's stocking the store's refrigerator with jugs of milk (to an oboe version of the Imperial March), and turns back to find Hal staring at him from the other side of the fridge.
  Chad: Urgh!
  Hal: Excuse me, where are your live chickens?
  Chad: We do not carry that item.
  Hal: I found some frozen ones- [gestures] But they won't work for my voodoo ritual.

Season 2

Into the Basement

• In order to trap Chad, the basement conjures up an image of Libby in a sexy dress.
  Fantasy!Libby: Tell me some more of those jokes! Kiss me!
  Chad: But the rules! I can't disobey the rules!
  (Fantasy!Libby strikes a sexy pose and makes a "kissy face".)
  Chad: I CAN disobey the rules! C'MERE, BABY!
• Jeremy, after hearing a noise: "Who are you? Are you a pigeon?"

Season 3

Rockets and Chaos (S3E2)

• At the end of the episode, Chad zaps the Marshmallow Bandito with force lightning...which causes his pants to fall down.
  Chad: Pants. On the ground. Pants on the ground? You look like a fool with your pants on the ground!
  • This leads to a spoof of the song itself over the end credits:
    Mallow in your mouth... your hat turned sideways... What happened? Your pants hit the ground! Your pants have hit the ground. Do you realize what's happened to you? Walkin' and talkin' with your pants on the ground!

Lloyd Town (S3E3)

• Chad and Maggie end up taking their lunch breaks at the same time. Maggie says she wants them to become friends. Naturally, this leads into another Imagine Spot for Chad:
  Maggie: Now. Ask me anything.
  Chad: All right. Would you like to be blown up by a bomb and die?
  Maggie: Sure!
  Chad: (Hands Maggie a cartoonish-looking bundle of dynamite with a huge, red digital readout.) Here you go.
  (Maggie grins at Chad, giving him an "Oh, you shouldn't have!" look. Cue explosion.)
• As Chad and Maggie bonding in earnest...over their hatred of Lloyd.
  Maggie: Lloyd? God, what a loser!
  Chad: Yes, I agree with you. He's so dumb, he's a stupid...moron.
  Maggie: You know what the best thing about Lloyd is? Nothing!
  (Both laugh.)
  Chad: Yes, Lloyd is so dumb! If they had a town named "Dumbville", they'd change the name to Lloyd...Town!
  • Then the camera pans back, to show Lloyd sitting just a few feet away. When he protests, Maggie replies, "Hmm. My feet are feeling really un-massaged right now!" Lloyd sighs heavily and gets up from the table, mumbling, "Yes, ma'am."
    Chad: Hey, Lloyd? Get me too while you're down there.
• Randy being interrupted by his mopping by Baby Cookie.
  Randy: Moppin' up the floors, working on the floors! Do, do, do...
  Baby Cookie: (voiceover) The floor looks good, Randy!
  Randy: Oh, why, thank y- (Looks around suddenly realizing he's alone.) Wha- ah! Leave me alone!
  • This is followed by his interaction with a customer, who has a question about the store's cabbage sale. Randy frantically mumbles "I don't know! Dah, eh, uh, what cabbage? Don't ask me! Ask the baby! Ask the baby!

Season 4

Surprise Inspection

• Paul Guse (Jeremy) Corpsing while Champion J. Pepper is talking to him.

Non Episodic Videos

• Chad's parody of "Chocolate Rain". Complete with notation.
  **I move my frontal breathing vent away from the mic to respirate.
• "Chad Vader Is Your Father". In honor of Father's Day, Chad makes Jeremy re-create the famous scene from The Empire Strikes Back. Jeremy isn't too thrilled about it. At all.
  • Then, in The Stinger, Chad rings a random doorbell in his neighborhood...
    Chad: Hello. I am your father.
    Neighbor Man: (overjoyed) Daddy! (hugs Chad, sobbing into his shoulder)
    Chad: Uh... Oh, boy.
• In Surprised Cat Chad (New Fighting Technique), Chad is staring at a framed picture, lamenting the loss of his girlfriend Libby. He sadly states that he doesn't even have a picture to remember her by. Then we see that he's looking at a goofy, child-like drawing of a woman's face with curly hair.
  • When Chad tries courting a woman online, he lists his interests as "Produce, annual inventory, and decorative plates. But NOT decorative cups and saucers. Only weirdos collect those."
    • He immediately decides to text her a picture of himself, without his helmet on. Because "you should immediately reveal all of your disgusting secrets to a potential partner".
• In "Lord Snack's Superbowl Snack Tips", Chad refers to Jeremy (who's assisting him) as his "Snack Fluffer".

Other, Misc.

• When Chad Vader met Mike Nelson and Kevin Murphy from Mystery Science Theater 3000 and RiffTrax, he asked, "Which one of you is Joel?"