Pat freaks out over the gigantic missed opportunity in the title of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Last Survivor, which then leads Woolie to also freak out and declare the game Ruined FOREVER over this one blunder.
Pat mentions playing RE Revelaitons during the week, which leads into a discussion about side series that get too big for their britches.
Woolie: You know what the most Egregious side story is, of all time? Ninja Gaiden. Pat(as Woolie loses it): You're right. What's going on with Joe Hayabusa, in Ninja? Woolie: Like, how much importance are we gonna put on this side story? We've been following this side story for years now! When are we gonna get back to the main story, guys? Pat: All these side demons.
CSB 069: "The Tony Hawk Microwave Hallway Scene"
Woolie's head was in animeland during this podcast, as he spends not one but two segments transforming both Snowpiercer and Tony Hawk Pro Skater 1+2 into anime plots:
Firstly, Woolie predicts the structure the Snowpiercer show will have, and it becomes clear Snowpiercer is another of Woolie's Old Shames. Season 1 will end with the reveal of Icebreaker, Season 2 will end with The Reveal that the two trains are in the same track, and Season 3 (which Woolie states will definitely occur should the showrunners follow his formula for success) will begin with yet a third train, which he initially dubs the Wintersmasher but changes to Slushmusher after a suggestion from the comments, getting in the middle of the two trains to stop them from killing each other. He further elaborates that Slushmusher runs on a hybrid engine and thus has greater potential than the two previous trains, despite the audience being led to believe he was merely dead weight the entire time. Yes, it's a reference toNero. Two words: Dead Freight.
Ever since his and Matt's playthrough of Tony Hawk's Underground and its sequel, Woolie has wanted the series to devolve into anime plotlines. With the news of a remake/compilation on the way, his thoughts naturally turn to Final Fantasy VII Remake, so he predicts that Whispers of Tom Green will prevent Bam from affecting the timeline prior to his canonical first appearance, and just goes from there. Eric Costa fills the Aerith role, Eric Sparrow is resurrected by the Reunion of separate customization items, and the only way to save the planet from total annihilation is Riley performing a Father-Son 1080-degree spin with the aid of Tony's spirit.
Pat: Oh yeah, hit me with some more of that Hitler. Woolie: Hitler, Hitler, Hitler, Hitler, Hitler!
CSB 082: "Everyellow Content: Grocery Store Tenure"
A letter asking what the guys think about MMORPGs that make your character gradually more central to the story with each expansion (World of Warcraft in particular) leads Pat to postulate this maxim:
"If your story is gonna have you being a dude, you have to stay a dude. If your story is gonna portray your character as a guy, then your character has to stay a guy."
CSB 083: "Press Nothing To Let The CIA Ravage The Hood With Crack"
When talking about his experiences with Real-Time Strategy games, Woolie makes the worst slip-up imaginable: callingWarcraft III "World of Warcraft III". Pat states it makes him want to kill himself, and when he points out what Woolie just said to him, Woolie is horrified, because he didn't even realize he said that. Instead of attempting to justify it in some way like he usually does, in a rare moment of sincere and utter regret, Woolie can only repeat "Oh, that's bad" several times.
Pat asks Woolie whether, if he hypothetically had a kid, if he would be the black or regular parent (referring to discipline and difference in their childhood when it came to respecting their parents). Woolie has to point out how fucked up the wording of that question is and, after a few seconds, Pat visibly goes red as he nervously laughs at the realization.
Woolie: But that gay memory water has already been blessed for the holy water for the baptism! OH NOOOOOO!
Pat questions whether there's anything more cowardly than making a game about war and saying "we're just asking questions", and then immediately thinks of something more cowardly: making a game about what if black people were robots and saying you're just asking questions.
CSB 094: "Whalequotes: New Monkey Species Extinction Any% Speedrun"
The boys read off one of their usual sponsors for Manscaped.com, a shaving company focusing on men's genitalia. While usually funny due to the inherent premise of having Woolie shame the listeners for the state of their downstairs hair while Pat freaks out thinking about body parts, it takes a fun new twist in this episode.
Woolie: "I'll be back to yell at you about the state of your nuts shortly."
Pat: "Why don't you ever congratulate anyone who does shave their nuts?"
Woolie: "Because they don't tell me about it. (Beat). Fuck.
Pat: "Should they? They should. If you shaved your nuts as a direct result of these ad reads, you should hit up Woolie on Twitter and tell him how nice your balls smell."
Woolie: "Ah God-damnit, Twitter doesn't censor things. You're allowed to post anything on Twitter."
Early on in the podcast, Pat brings up the cursed information that is the gene sequence 'Sonic Hedgehog' having possible ties to erectile dysfunction disorder, and refuses to get off the subject due to the premise and how stupid it was to name the protein in such a manner. Cut to the news segment about the remastering of BloodRayne, which Pat wants nothing to do with due to how bad those games are, so he starts interrupting by reading out an article about the naming conventions from 1994, only for Woolie to start reading out the whole Bloodrayne news piece out louder. This prompts Pat to start reading his article out even louder, resulting in both boys getting increasingly louder to shout down the other's news piece that they have no interest in... only for both of them to break down in laughter at the line "What's next for Bloodrayne?"
"The Slow, Tedious, Excruciating, Twitter Based Death of the Author"
Pat and Wollie discuss the ins and outs of Hogwarts Legacy and its relationship to J.K. Rowling. This leads to this fantastic exchange;
Pat: "I think artists or anyone who does anything creative should do their creative thing and then be banned from leaving the house or using Social Media for the rest of their life. This way, all things can be fine. Especially for G.R.R. Martain but that's just so that he'll write a goddamned book."
Ruined FOREVER over this one blunder.