Funny / Brad Tries...

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Brad Tries...

• "Brad Tries Bird's Nest", the show's second episode, in which he tries a drink that was given to him by Brian and Sarah who were too afraid to try it themselves. The funniest part about it is that after trying it again, he likes it!
  Brad: It's chunky! Oh, I did not see that coming! It's fucking chunky and clumpy!
• From "Brad Tries Beaver":
  Brad: In case you forgot it's Canadian, it has the word "Canadian" on it, and pictures of hockey players... a maple leaf... picture of Phelous on the side - wait, what?!
• "Brad Tries Pizza Beer".
  Brad: Pizza beer: if it doesn't get you drunk in twenty minutes, it's free!
  • Half an hour of Brad, Doug, and Rob trying things and being disgusted and hilarious.
    Rob: (downs a glass of something that has left Brad and Doug half-senseless and hysterical) That's not that bad chugged! (beat) (drops his glass on the floor without changing his expression)
    Doug: It hit you, didn't it?
    Rob: (choking) It's fine!
  • Culminating with Jillian giving it a try at the end:
    Jillian: (downs it without any reaction) You guys are pussies.
• "Brad Tries Jones Soda Thanksgiving Packs" has a lot of great moments, such as this one after the group tries the green bean casserole drink.
  Brad: If green beans tasted like this, I wouldn't hate them more than the terrorists.
• From "Brad Tries Dick Stick":
  Brian: No, kitty, don't eat that, it's terrible.
• From "Brad Tries Moxie", his reaction to Malta Hatuey.
  Brad: (takes sip) Oh... fuck me. Yeah, it tastes like V8 if someone fucked all the vegetables first.
• In "Brad Tries Sperm", Brad's cat sniffs at the bottle.
  Brad: No kitty, that would make this video all kinds of illegal.
  • The tagline for the video also qualifies:
    It's not what you think! I can explain!
• Brad's joy of finding a drink that looks and tastes exactly like Crystal Pepsi is only dampened by the fact it's called Not See Cola.
  Brad: Well it's better than calling it Kristallnacht.
  • Not to mention his claim that the soda is an apology for World War II.
  • And revealing that he owns a Crystal Pepsi delivery driver's jacket.
• From "Brad Tries Coca Cola Blak", after a third try of Manhattan Special Espresso Coffee Soda:
  Brad: This thing is smushing my face. The taste is giving me unwanted plastic surgery on my face....I don't like this.
• In "Brad and Phelan Try Grass Jelly", Brad and Phelous spend several minutes searching for something to review - from paintings to irons to mp3 players, as well as Phelous' stick figure drawing of Film Brain from their crossover review of Lockjaw. And then this happens:
  (Brad and Phelous are lying next to each other in the bed)
  Brad: That was just awkward.
  • Also, "8-Bit Mickey, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?"
  • Brad touching a hot iron and burning himself. As Phelous says, "What did you think would happen?"
• In "Brad Tries the Mc10:35", when analyzing the Trocadero:
  Brad: From what I understand, this is a fairly old drink, like this has been around since the 50s. Maybe not this particular bottle, but...whatever, I'd still drink it.
• "Brad Tries Billy Beer". No, seriously, Billy Beer. It goes down about as well as one can expect a rusty, 30-year-old can of shitty beer can...
• "Brad Tries Cola Up":
  • Their reactions to the chunkiness of the Cola Up.
  • One of the other drinks they try is Krazy Kritters, whose can has a fox wearing a martial arts outfit. The person who gave the can to Brad wrote "Fox Kung Tai Ted?" on the can.
• On the Snob's convention-exclusive DVD, he and Jerrid recognize the boring nature of DVD introductions, and spice it up with a special Brad Tries...of perhaps the worst soda ever made. It's known as Beverly soda, and 5 out of 2,000 people like the bitter melon taste. Brad and Jerrid are not in that category.
  Brad: Fuck, that's bitter! Fuck me with that bitter fuck- [....] It tastes like a racist came in my mouth. It tastes like Sean Hannity fucked a melon, that's how fuckin' bitter this tastes.
  Jerrid: (tastes it, then after a brief delay) WOAH!
• "Brad Tries Mountain Dew Game Fuel" gives us Brad and Jillian mocking the guy who drank a small bottle of discontinued Crystal Pepsi and then throwing up.
• The unfortunately-named Cockta (of the episode "Brad Tries Cockta") spawns a myriad of penile puns.
  • ...and then there's Mashky yogurt soda. Oh, sweet Sheebus, the yogurt soda. Before he even posted the video, Brad updated his Twitter account to say "Well...that was one of the worst things I've ever had on a Brad Tries." And how.
    Brad: Um, I don't recommend that; I don't recommend smelling that; I don't recommend wasting your money on that; I sure as shit don't recommend putting that in your mouth! I don't even recommend pissing in an empty bottle of it because you'll probably come away with something questionable. It'll seriously fuck up your Cockta, and you'll be scared to put your Cockta in anything else after touching that fucking bottle!
• Brad's reaction when Lloyd sniffs at a bottle of Afri-Cola, which contains 250 milligrams of caffeine:
  Brad: No, Lloyd. You're a Siamese cat. You're hyper enough already.
• In the McRib video, Brad tells a bit of history of the McRib, including the fact that he was born the year the product was released to the public (1981, "making me part McRib") and that it was discontinued for the first time in 1985, the year Jake was born ("a known McRib hater").
• "Brad Tries the State Fair 2013" has a few funny moments:
  • Brad's reactions to eating the deep-fried pickle wrap, made even funnier by Jake obviously gloating at Brad's displeasure.
  Jake: It's hilarious when it's not me!
  • The first clip of Jake in the skylift. When he gets close enough to the camera shooting below, he just starts screaming and singing loudly.
  • Irving's obvious attempts to get a rise out of Jake by being randomly anti-Semitic. Which succeeds.
• The Wild Ophelia episode where Brad surprises viewers by re-trying Crick-ettes. He hated them before, and now he does a full handful of them.
  Brad: (clears throat) Sorry, I had a leg in my teeth. And an antennae...probably some eyeballs-! (retches)
  • There's also the "Bollywood chocolate," which Brad suggests was made by mashing a bar of chocolate on the floor of a family van (as well as making several jokes comparing it to Bollywood cinema). Then he takes a bite out of the bar before Dave, who is still inspecting it, and starts to violently react... but then stifles his moans when he sees Dave hasn't taken the plunge yet, telling him "it's really good." Dave resigns himself and takes a bite - only to then open his mouth and let it drop to the floor, while Brad laughs evilly.
• "Brad Tries Mountain Dew Cheetos" is a pretty basic episode, with Brad liking both the titular Cheetos and the Cajun chips. That is, until he gets into the gummi pirate coins that Jake bought for him...
• During "Brad Tries Chatterbox Beer", it becomes apparent he's already had a few beforehand. The funniest part is, while tasting the Sake, his impromptu conversation with an imaginary person about their lack of a cloudy drink.
• "Brad Tries the State Fair 2014" brings a few great laughs:
  • Brad stepping in gum as Jake retches from trying the Wrapped Pickle.
  • Brad and Jake noting how Sarah is the only person they know who can look classy while eating the odd fair foods they keep eating.
  • Jake making Lupa crack up while trying the crickets and mealworm pizza:
  Jake: Don't eat me señorita! (Lupa bites down) Nooooo Buuueeeenooooo (everyone breaks down laughing)
• Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas...Coffee. To Brad's disbelief, this thing exists.
  • Jake doesn't enjoy coffee, so Brad tries to cheer him up by creating "Mr. Sun", a soft-spoken coffee mascot that pesters Jake in an attempt to get him to wake up in the morning.
  Brad: It tastes like a good ol' cup o' sunshine.
  Jake: God damn it, Mr. Sun!
  Brad: Let me let you in on a little secret. That wasn't the french vanilla cream that was making your coffee brighter; it's your optimism. Because it's Christmas Eve and you're going to spend it with your dear old friend the sun and a good ol' cup of Kirk's coffee.
  Jake: Mr. Sun, it is nine o'clock at night, okay? You're on the other side of the world. Why are you- stop talking to me.
  Brad: I'mah let you in on a little secret - I'm also God.
  Jake: Oh, goddammit.
• From the Marshmallow Madness episode:
  • The return of Jake and Mr. Sun.
  • Japan Jake
  Jake: AAAAAAAAH GODAMMIT MR. SUN!
• "Brad Tries Starbucks Frappuccino Fan Flavors":
  • Brad mistakenly calls the Red Velvet flavor Blue Velvet, which spurs a string of quotes from the film.
• From "Brad Tries the State Fair 2015":
  Brad: At least it's not a pickle. (takes a bite) I wish it was a pickle.
• During the "Taco Bell Breakfast Part 2" video, he talks about the Taco Bell guys fucking him because they got his order wrong.
• Brad tries the One Chip Challenge. As soon as said chip is consumed, the rest of the episode may as well be called "Brad Tries Milk (and Cold Pop-Tarts)".
  Brad: I promised I wouldn't make a noise...(makes many, many noises)
  • Brad closes the milk jug after drinking a good portion of it. Seconds later we get the following:
  Brad: Why did I close that?
  • Once enough milk has been drank, Brad decides to see if another thing helps: cold Pop Tarts.
  • Easily the best part of the whole thing is that Brad wasn't initially planning on eating it. It was planned to be used for an episode of Flaming Brian's Kitchen, but Brian was sick.
• Brad tries the 1989 Batman Cereal. First, there's the Bat Bank which Brad puts on top of the couch to "give him judgment". Specially as it cuts to the bank (hey, Batman makes everything funny!) after Brad gives up after one spoonful ("IT TASTES LIKE SHIT!").
  • Speaking of that one spoonful, it took Brad three seconds before blurting out "Oh, God."
• Brad tries a Reggie Bar. Even though the one he tries is from a '90s re-release rather than the original '70s release, it still is so old that Brad declares it probably one of the worst things he ever tried.
• These words after trying Barf Soda and looking at it in disgust:
  Brad: I wanted this to be nasty!
• "Brad Tries Cock Cola": Brad opens the video by preemptively laughing sarcastically at all the puns from it having the word "cock" in the title before drinking it.
• "Brad Tries Mayochup": When Brad tries Heinz's new product that combines ketchup and mayonnaise, he does so by squirting it directly into his mouth. He then admitted that while he had done it for shits and giggles, it had been the best decision he ever made.
• In an extremely morbid way, "Brad Tries Covid". Thankfully, he has gotten better.

Drunk Brian Tries

• "Drunk Brian Tries the Blood of the Kali".
  "Don drink Framing Brian! Itz bad!"
• "Drunk Max Force Tries Cookie Dough Vodka". For some reason, he's wearing a penguin suit. You really can't top that.
• "Drunk Brian Tries Tox Test", which gives us the combined efforts of Brian and Kelley trying to get a bottle of ale open. It takes them a while (and they end up breaking the top of the bottle by accident).
  • Brian singing. It's... not good.
  • Brad snarking about the Hipster Ale. "You take one sip and you'll be voting for Ron Paul." "Buy three of these and you get a peek at the new Weezer album." "It's got pieces of tweed in it."
  • The Running Gag of Brian being constantly unable to call Kelley by a single name.

Flaming Brian's Kitchen

• The premiere of Flaming Brian's Kitchen has Brad and Brian try out Buffalo Wild Wings' hottest sauce. Hilarity Ensues.
  Brad: Welcome to the spinoff series-cause why not? Flaming Brian's Kitchen! (starts laughing)
  Brian: Is that seriously the only reason you're doing this? You don't even give a damn about hot sauce!
  Brad: Ha!
• The Ass Reaper episode, especially when Jake drops by.
  Brian: Is it Halloween Delicious?
• The Wizard World edition has Brian trying an (unfortunately weak) canola oil sauce, and then sharing shots of the stuff with the various con-goers. Brad refers to the stuff as "Not-See hot sauce", and later - when he takes a bite out of a pepper - washes it down with the original Not-See Cola.
  • Brad takes a shot of the canola oil, grimaces, and yells, "Shit!" Someone offers him a carton of milk to wash it own with, and he accepts.
    Brad: (looking at the milk) Aw, shit, it's not clear!
  • He then grabs another chicken nugget thinking that it didn't have the sauce on it. He's wrong.

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