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Funny: Big Daddy
  • A little dark if you're watching it with your grandpa or grandma, but the scene with Sonny and Vanessa discussing her new boyfriend.
    Vanessa: He has a five-year plan.
    Sonny: What is it? "Don't die"?
    • "You'll be sorry when you got that old body on top of you with his... loose skin and old... balls... gross!"
  • The fact that poor little Julian has to take a leak about every five mintues.
    What's your name, he'll write it on the wall... mind your business!
  • When Sonny steps on Julian's Scuba Steve Doll.
    Sonny: Ow, Scuba Steve! Damn You!
  • When Julian and Nanzo, the Delivery Guy are learning how to read.
    Julian: Electricity! Constitution! Philadelphia!
    Nazo: Fish! Pony! Hip, Hip Hop, Hip Hop anonymous? Damn you! You gave him the easy ones.
  • Mr. Herlihy is a cross between this, and being a complete and total ass. He also makes a lousy character witness.
    Mr. Herlihy: Koufax is a good egg, he was nice to that kid. But he fights like a girl. You like that? I'm right here Miss, what are you gonna do about it? Hahaha.
    Sonny: What are you drunk Mr. Herlihy?
    Mr. Herlihy: Well, I-I had a few chardonnays, what of it?
    Sonny: Get off the stand please.
    • This don't help much...
    He drinks a lot of soda. (suuuure he does)
  • Julian's kindergarten teacher gets one of the best lines. ("One of the children wore rollerblades for Show & Tell, and Julian tripped him with a stick!")
    • "I watched Fantasia a lot. And one day it just clicked."
    • "Lasagna? What the hell's the matter with you?"
    • More hilarious dialogue:
      Cashier: We stop serving breakfast at 10:30.
      Sonny: Oh horse shit!
      [Julian cries]
      Sonny: I wasn't cursing at you, I was cursing at the lady.
      • "WILL SOMEBODY GET THIS KID A HAPPY MEAL!?"
    • "What's your name? He'll write it on the wall!"
    • The random goth dude:
      Sonny: You're mad at your dad, not at me, I forgive you!
      Goth (walking away and sobbing quietly): I am, I am, I hate my father ...
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