Funny: Big Daddy
- A little dark if you're watching it with your grandpa or grandma, but the scene with Sonny and Vanessa discussing her new boyfriend.
Vanessa: He has a five-year plan.
Sonny: What is it? "Don't die"?
- "You'll be sorry when you got that old body on top of you with his... loose skin and old... balls... gross!"
- The fact that poor little Julian has to take a leak about every five mintues.
What's your name, he'll write it on the wall... mind your business!
- When Sonny steps on Julian's Scuba Steve Doll.
Sonny: Ow, Scuba Steve! Damn You!
- When Julian and Nanzo, the Delivery Guy are learning how to read.
Julian: Electricity! Constitution! Philadelphia!
Nazo: Fish! Pony! Hip, Hip Hop, Hip Hop anonymous? Damn you! You gave him the easy ones.
- Mr. Herlihy is a cross between this, and being a complete and total ass. He also makes a lousy character witness.
Mr. Herlihy: Koufax is a good egg, he was nice to that kid. But he fights like a girl. You like that? I'm right here Miss, what are you gonna do about it? Hahaha.
Sonny: What are you drunk Mr. Herlihy?
Mr. Herlihy: Well, I-I had a few chardonnays, what of it?
Sonny: Get off the stand please.
He drinks a lot of soda. (suuuure he does)
- Julian's kindergarten teacher gets one of the best lines. ("One of the children wore rollerblades for Show & Tell, and Julian tripped him with a stick!")
- "I watched Fantasia a lot. And one day it just clicked."
- "Lasagna? What the hell's the matter with you?"
- More hilarious dialogue:
Cashier: We stop serving breakfast at 10:30.
Sonny: Oh horse shit!
Sonny: I wasn't cursing at you, I was cursing at the lady.
- "WILL SOMEBODY GET THIS KID A HAPPY MEAL!?"
- "What's your name? He'll write it on the wall!"
- The random goth dude:
Sonny: You're mad at your dad, not at me, I forgive you!
Goth (walking away and sobbing quietly): I am, I am, I hate my father ...