Funny: Assassin's Creed: Unity

  • Completing Rift missions give you access to Assassin Intel. One of these is a list of potential Sages. One of the entries reads: "David Jones. Nationality: possibly English. Born: Mid-20th century. Status unknown, In the 1970s and 80s a few scattered reports of a man resembling a Sage surfaced. He was said to be "otherworldly", "extraterrestrial", and "possessed by multiple personalities." So far, these reports have proven inconclusive." David Jones happens to be the real name of a certain David Bowie.
  • Napoleon snarking about Arno's outfit, and how it becomes more and more conspicuous the further the series gets from the Third Crusade:
    Napoleon: You certainly don't look like a blood-crazed revolutionary. The hood... is a bit sinister though if you don't mind my saying.
  • "The Escape", the last mission of Sequence 9, which is one concentrated Funny Moment. It begins with Elise running in away from Jacobins for reasons she refuses to explain, and escalates very quickly to stealing a prototype hot-air balloon in the middle of a thunderstorm with Arno desperately trying to catch up with her.
  • Shaun's database snarking is back, now in the form of footnotes. From the entry on Jacques de Molay:
    Jacques de Molay was born between 1245 and 1250.*
    * Now that's a long labour.
    • The entry on Les Misérables is essentially a rant about how much Shawn hates the musical and the France in Unity is not the France in Les Mis. And anyways, he prefers Cats. Much more believable.
    • Every paragraph in the story about the Red Ghost of the Tuileries is accompanied by increasingly incredulous notes about the ridiculousness of the story.
    I bet you didn't expect to read the phrase "expelled a German butcher" just then. I know I certainly didn't.
    I think this is the weirdest story ever. An expelled German butcher, with a French name, gets so annoyed he swears revenge. Okay. And then what?
    Is this a dream? An angry German butcher stayed so annoyed he'd once been expelled from a site that he died and then haunted a palace? What?
  • We find out that "Devils in the Caribbean" the fake movie they devised at the end of Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag was released commercially and did pretty badly. Their internal marketing from the Helix Rifts tries to make the best of a bad situation:
    Never speak badly of past projects. Spin negatives into positives, E.G. If they say "The film 'Devils of the Caribbean' was a frightful mess of clichés, dime-store moralizing, and pandering stereotypes. Who thought this bucked of bilge water was a good idea?" You say "Certainly we realized very early in production that 'Devils of the Caribbean' would not be the ideal experience for everyone. But for those who want a fun, exciting, and lighthearted look at the Golden Age of Piracy, their ship has come to port."
  • The infamous varied graphical bugs(when they're not scarring you for life) are hilarious. Example
  • As horrifyingly Badass as it is when you realize Germain has the Sword of Eden, Arno's reaction is pretty funny; the Sage raises the sword, lightning rips out of the tip of the blade, Arno leaps aside as though he dodges magic every day... and then pauses for a moment, realizing he just dodged lightning. "What the hell was that?" indeed.