History Funny / AssassinsCreedBrotherhood

--->'''Pancrinea:''' But you saved me.

** Then recall that [[spoiler: Caterina]] had ''just'' admitted to Ezio that the only reason she slept with him the night before the Siege of Monteriggioni was to [[IDidWhatIHadToDo ''really'' make sure]] that he'd lend her some of his mercenaries in [[TheWomanWearingTheQueenlyMask defending Forlì against the Borgia]]. Sure, he'd answered, "Politics, I understand. You not need explain," but...

** Guards sometimes claim to suffer Thanatosphobia if Ezio is winning a fight.

*** [[Administrivia/RuleOfCautiousEditingJudgement Depending on your opinions]] of [[UsefulNotes/TheEuropeanUnion Brexit]], that line may be either [[HarsherInHindsight Harsher]] or HilariousInHindsight.

-->'''Shaun''': ...were raised by the She-Wolf. Which, incidentally, is the nickname for my girlfriend in the Hastings household. Don't ask.

** Second, as soon as Ezio actually sees the Tank, he is incredibly annoyed with Leonardo for giving him no instructions on how to actually use it.

--->'''Bartolomeo''': You steal a man's wife and hide inside a fortress?! Nothing hangs between your thighs! In fact, there is a hole there so deep it reaches INTO THE ''MALEDETTO INFERNO''! [[note]]Fucking underworld![[/note]]

* During a Templar Agent side mission where you have to take down Gaspar de la Croix (aka the Engineer in multi-player), Ezio says it should be relatively easy to overwhelm a single gunman right before a bullet whizzes directly by his head. His shocked reaction sells it: "''Merda..."''[[note]]Shit...[[/note]]

[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/eziowooscristina.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:''"...What."'']]

** Second, as soon as Ezio actually sees the Tank, he is incredibly annoyed that Leonardo for presumably giving him no instructions on how to actually use it.
** Lastly, as soon as the mission is over, Ezio actually had fun using it and is sadden to have to destroy it, wishing he could keep it.

** Ezio can speak french. When asked why, he says that there were "a few french girls in Florentia".

---->'''Guard:''' Where are you from?!

---> '''Shaun:''' [[ActuallyPrettyFunny Because from a distance they looked like hares.]]

-->'''Lucy''': I pulled the last one. \\

-->'''Doctor:''' When was the last time you saw a physician, or felt the gentle caress of a leech?

---> '''[[spoiler: Catarina]]''': ''Don't you '''dare'''!''
---> '''Ezio''': ''*drops her* ({{Beat}}) Hehe...''

--> '''Everyone else is dead'''
--> '''Terrified Guard''': You know, I always thought you were a, uh kind and, um, noble... *Flees*

** Later, Machiavelli makes a joke to La Vlope about the interrupted play, "Christo Cristo was revived three days early".

*** [[RuleOfCautiousEditingJudgement Depending on your opinions]] of [[UsefulNotes/TheEuropeanUnion Brexit]], that line may be either [[HarsherInHindsight Harsher]] or HilariousInHindsight.

* Charged attacks with Heavy Weapons. Headshotting a guard on a tower above you with a thrown Scottish claymore is both this and a CrowningMomentOfAwesome.

---->{{Break}}

---->[[{{Break}}]]
---->'''Guard:''' Open hhe gates!

--> '''Shaun:''' Found this riddle in my research and can't crack it. Any ideas? I think it might be the key to the location of another piece of Eden: "Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?"
--> '''Rebecca:''' (after ''five'' mails) What's the answer?????

--> '''Rebecca:''' ...

* These little gems when frerunning:

* One of the things town heralds can be heard announcing (If they're not screaming about how you're an insane murderer who must be stopped) is the banning of a certain lay about a little boy, as it has been the cause of some "embarrassing physical juttings in public" by priests.