- The polite rap.
Cuz I'm a good...ass...mother...liker!
- "SO WE'RE SORRY TO HAVE BOTHERED YOU!! Bye..."
- Where is the lid? WHERE IS THE LID? Where is the-? Where is the-? Where is the- where is the lid?
- The ''Jane Eyre'' sketch, featuring Stephen with an afro.
- Stephen as an extremely eloquent and devoted barber.
- "Stephen... go and have a lie-down."
- The world's worst eye witness.
"So I was standing here..."
- So well describes much of mainstream music.
- Englandgasm: The cream of old England!
- 'The Department' is equal to Police Squad! for deadpan parody.
- Flying A Light Aeroplane Without Having Had Any Formal Training With... "Oh what the hell I'll just pull everything".
- Kids football coach: "Run into the box and fall over".
- The Understanding Bartender
- The last cocktail in the last show: A Modern Britain. Stephen starts with Patriotic Fervor over the ingredients: Jersey cream, Islay malt whiskey "lovingly blended by craftsmen who care," garnished with a shamrock, a thistle, and a rose before moving onto the "modern" ingredients—flat cola, low-calorie sweeteners, a two-parent family-sized back of diluted good values, etc... while Laurie and the guests mournfully lower a British flag and Robert Dawes plays a solemn song on the trumpet. Stephen mixes the cocktail by sobbing "It's ruined! BRITAIN IS RUINED!" and wringing out the handkerchief into the mixture while Hugh tries not to laugh.
"The product shall be half-baked in an immoderate temperature of the Lowest Common Denominator in an atmosphere of greasy cant and corrupt sleaze, until richly dishonored and seared with shame. Your Modern Britain will ideally by now have lost all color, flavor, and fizz, and should be then divided against itself and left in shoddy disrepair for a number of years, until it rots before being sold off to the highest bidder."
- The "Tony of Plymouth" sketch. A typical corrupt MP (Stephen) giving a speech, heckled by a man (Hugh) who appears to have been Born in the Wrong Century and heckling him with phrases out of a Robin Hood legend... until Stephen responds in kind and the heckler reveals himself as the famed Tony of Plymouth and swings onto the stage in true swashbuckling fashion. Stephen is outraged and steps away from the podiums, revealing that he's wearing bright yellow hose and a rapier below the suit jacket. Cue the Flynning.
Politician: And what is your name, sir, who must shroud yourself under a light traveling cap?
Tony: My name, sir, and I bid you mark it well, is Tony of Plymouth!