Fanfic / The Merry Killers

The Merry Killers is the latest fanfic by the Sage of Toads, and takes place in the same universe as The Key to a Successful Interview and Beautiful Destroyer Sailor Moon.

As is usual for a Sage of Toads fanfic, the fic is a deconstruction of Love Hina.

The twist?

The Urashima clan are assassins who work for the Emperor himself! And apparently, more than one of the Hinata-Sou girls are the same!

Read it here.

This fanfic contains examples of:

  • Batman Gambit: Knowing Kitsune is more dangerous than she looks, Golgo 13 realizes the only way he can kill her is to induce a major case of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder before doing so. He didn't count on an UNKILLABLE Keitaro protecting Kitsune, though.
  • Boom, Headshot:
    • Naru does a fist-based version with her infamous "Naru Punch," in which an assassin's head gets turned into a cloud of red mist and short-cut hair. Keitaro is the only one who it can't hurt.
    • As a Cold Sniper, Kitsune has done a few.
  • Briefcase Full of Money: Ten Million US Dollars, and first-class plane tickets to the destination of the his choice lets Haruka buy out Golgo 13's contract on Kitsune. He accepts, seeing he's also surrounded. Haruka also throws in getting him "patched up" before the flight as well.
  • Child Soldier: Mitsune's family are trained to kill at a very young age.
  • Five-Bad Band: Given they're assassins, this fits better than Five-Man Band.
    • The Big Bad: Haruka Urashima, especially in Chapter 10, when she tells Su "Spread the word, we're wiping out the Takimaru group. No survivors." This after said group kidnaps Kitsune, her father Itachi, and Keitaro. She's the link to Granny Hina to the girls, but she gets the data for their missions as well.
    • The Dragon: Kitsune, who also manages the people on each job.
    • The Brute: There are three in rotation: Motoko the skilled "Man-Slayer" swordswoman, Naru of amazing strength who can punch to mist a target's head, and "Red" who greatly enjoys killing period.
    • The Evil Genius: Su, who designs special armor for everyone as well as for the house (it's self-repairing!).
    • The Dark Chick: Keitaro, though in Chapter 10, he tells Kitsune, "You're not... the only monster..." as the red glow fades from his irises, which also have a horizontal red line across the sclera, hinting he dug within.
  • The Fixer: Haruka has arranged for transportation, and gear and weapons Su cannot create. She also arranges the jobs the girls take.
  • Immortality Hurts: Keitaro may not be killable (so far), but he can still feel pain.
  • Punctuated Pounding: Done with periods and not exclamation marks, but as Kitsune neutralizes one gunman after another with her sniper rifle, "This is the best gun in the world. I hit. Every. Mark."
  • Shout-Out: As per the course in Sage of Toads fics. Examples include Deadpool himself being given half a billion dollars, put on an island with Keitaro, and told to go nuts with the money to try and kill Keitaro...It all failed.
    • Chapter 6 had Kitsune say "Hellsing ARMS, I am your loyal customer for life." When Shinobu asks where Haruka could have gotten what's hinted to be the "General Lee" on Molmol, Su just goes, "Oh, everyone in Molmol loves the Dukes!"
    • Haruka Tenoh shows up in Chapter 8, facing Motoko in a friendly spar. This is also an Early-Bird Cameo - as of the time of its writing, Sailor Uranus hadn't yet shown up in BDSM yet.
    • Chapter 9 features the abandoned Jindai High.
    • Chapter 10 has a gun-woman hinted to be Nodoka Saotome armed with a Kalashnikov rifle taking out Yakuza at one of their warehouses. Before she was a Saotome, Nodoka was born a Urashima.
  • Split Personality: As result of Shinobu's harsh training, she has a second personality called "Red" who embodies her murderous side. Wearing red clothing, no matter how small, causes this personality to come out.
    • In Chapter 4, a half-asleep Shinobu begs Motoko not to kill Keitaro. When Motoko persists, "Red" emerges to tell the swordswoman, "Then I'll just blow off your hands."
    • At the end, a red-bordered mirror lets Shinobu and "Red" have a conversation, which has them wonder, "how do we get him for ourself?"
  • Unresolved Sexual Tension: The legendary Naru/Keitaro relationship passes this stage VERY early.
    • To explain, they actually get together in the third chapter, after Naru's identity as the "Promise Girl" was revealed along with Keitaro inheriting the Hinata-sou. Naru sees it as fate having them reunite after all those years and decides to sleep with Keitaro shortly after.