Fanfic / Gulch to Remnant

"Well, isn't this some crap?"

— Jaune

Gulch to Remnant is a Red vs. Blue and RWBY fanfiction Crossover written by DarkAkatsuk1 of Son of Sparda D×D fame.

Disastrous. Such a beautiful word that spells more than one can imagine. Yet it is enough to describe what would happen if two teams of misfit 'soldiers' aspire to become Huntsmen at the prestigious Beacon Academy. Huh. Weird, isn't it? —FanFiction.Net summary.

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This fanfic contains the following tropes:

• Adaptational Attractiveness: Downplayed. Grif is stated numerous times to be obese, but in the fanfic, he's surprisingly slender and fit. Even the narration states that he should be fat given how much he eats. Chapter 7 has Simmons state the only reason he's buff is because he wanted to be strong enough to shoot big guns without suffering from some serious backlash.
• Adaptation Deviation: Initiation was held at the Emerald Forest and had the students be launched into the forest and form into pairs, eventually forming teams, and retrieve the relics. Because Blue Team and Red Team destroyed Main Avenue and injured several students in the process, Ozpin decides to change up the formula by having the students, as Sarge oh so eloquently put it, "beat each other up until 60 students remain standing".
• Adaptation Relationship Overhaul: Cardin was initially antagonistic towards Jaune, bullying him when given the opportunity up until Jaune saved him from an Ursa Grimm in Forever Fall. Here, Jaune and Cardin and Grif share a more hospitable relationship. That may or may not have to do with the fact that Cardin got his shit wrecked by Tex and received the Grif treatment.
• Adaptation Species Change:
  • Church and Texas were Artificial Intelligences in Red vs. Blue. Here, the former is human and Tex is a Shark Faunus.
  • It's implied that Caboose is in fact a dog Faunus, as Church notes he gets very excited whenever someone calls out his name.
• Almighty Janitor: Entirely literal in this case. When Washington went to Beacon, rather than say make him a Professor or an official licensed Huntsman, Ozpin made the Freelancer Beacon's janitor, much to Glynda's chagrin.
• Big Sister Instinct: Lopez has Ruby dead to rights. Unfortunately for him, Yang sees him and proceeds to send him flying.
• Blood Knight: Sarge, to no one's surprise. It's implied he's the one who came up with the impromptu Initiation.
• Break the Haughty: Cardin acted smug and confident up until he was utterly demolished by Texas in their practice bout.
• Bullying the Dragon: As per usual for Cardin in fan works of RWBY, the poor sod makes the mistake of antagonizing Texas. The worst part is that he doesn't know when to stop, as he continues to insult her when he's on the verge of defeat, which promptly earns him a Groin Attack.
• Call-Back: Numerous jokes and events from the Reds and Blues' home series re-appear here in some form or another.
• Curb-Stomp Battle: To say that Texas wiped the floor with Cardin would be an understatement. The latter only made it worse with his needless antagonism towards the Freelancer agent, which culminates in him receiving the Grif treatment.
• Cutaway Gag: When Tucker learns that Caboose has gone missing and goes to tell Church, the latter angrily exclaims he's going to break Caboose's kneecap if he's running around with scissors again. The next scene immediately has Caboose finish telling Ruby why he's not allowed to carry scissors anymore.
• Deadpan Snarker: Lopez, full stop, as evident in this conversation in Chapter 7:
  Blake: I know I don't have any part in how a team should behave, but I feel like there is a lot of hostility in yours.
  Lopez: [¿Cuál fue tu primera pista? / What was your first clue?]
• Double Entendre: Donut, who else?
  "Look at that, all my merry friends together in one place. Mind if I squeeze myself into this delicious sandwich you've made?"
• Dude Looks Like a Lady: When other initiates at Beacon see Donut when they arrive, they don't know if he's a guy or a girl. Even Yang mistakes him as female until he corrects her.
• Evil Redhead: Played for Laughs. Grif considers Texas evil because of her fixation of smashing his balls whenever they're fighting.
• Fun with Acronyms:
  Sarge gesticulated whilst pointing at Grif, "As you can see, class, our esteemed dirtbag Grif here suffers from Uranium Gysotomic Lynostic Yeast-Infection since childhood and only got worse after he contracted Distol Uranium Masticular Bi Acetone Systonic Shit over the years he has served in the Red Army!"
  The older man paused for dramatic effect.
  "In layman's term, he's an UGLY DUMBASS."
• Gay Best Friend: Yang has dreamed of having a "sassy gay friend" and seemingly gets her wish when she meets Donut, who is just as obsessed about fashion, skin health and hair management as she is.
• Groin Attack:
  • It would not be Red vs. Blue in any way if it did not involve Grif's balls being destroyed. During Initiation, he panics as Weiss sends him flying into the air, though that isn't what causes his balls to be destroyed. Its the bolts fired by Weiss meant for Lopez that does the deed.
  • Cardin receives this as well when he makes the mistake of needlessly antagonizing Texas even when its clear he's losing.
  • Evidently, Tex has taken to dishing these out to most everyone she fights in Glynda's class, which somehow causes Cardin and Jaune to become friends.
• Locked Out of the Loop:
  • Weiss is unaware that the Reds and Blues, or more specifically Grif, nearly assassinated her father by accident.
  • Texas is purposely keeping the Reds and Blues in the dark about the possibility of Control looking for them and her pursuit for Control, telling Locus that they deserve a better life now that they've escaped Control's grasp.
• Mad Doctor: When tending to the students knocked out of Initiation, Emily Gray gleefully states she can't wait to see the effects of medical treatments on the students whose Aura have been depleted. She nearly calls them test subjects but catches herself at the last second.
• Noodle Incident:
  • For whatever reason, the Reds and Blues were in Atlas and were on the run when Texas did something to cause the military to go after them. Not helping matters was Grif's accidental near assassination of Jacques Schnee.
  • Control is mentioned several times, both by the Freelancers and by Locus. The Reds and Blues managed to escape them and ruin whatever plans they had, but they're still looking for the Blood Gulch Crew. This worries Texas as she tries to get some info from Locus.
• Not So Above It All:
  Tucker: At least someone here likes it fast. Bow-chika-bow-wow! *gets his hands smacked by Glynda's riding crop* ...that was so worth it!
  Ozpin: Hm. Professor Goodwitch's sex life aside...
• Pervert Revenge Mode: Suffice to say, if Yang wasn't already angry at Tucker for cutting her hair with his sword, she definitely was when he groped her boobs.
• Real Men Wear Pink: Donut wears a pink trench coat as part of his ensemble.
• Rule of Three: According to Church, Texas has a "three strikes" rule when it comes to people pissing her off. During their match-up in Glynda's combat class, Cardin makes the mistake of hitting those three strikes before the match starts, which culminates in Texas delivering a Curb-Stomp Battle.
• Shipper on Deck: When everyone else bets on whether Tucker will survive Yang trying to kill him for grabbing her breasts, Donut makes an oddly-specific bet that Yang and Tucker will get together by the end of the year.
• Shout-Out:
  • As it turns out, Lopez is a fan of The Terminator, much to Grif's chagrin as he constantly tells the Spanish-speaking robot not to go "Terminator".
  • When Texas attempts to get information from Locus, he asks her if she's thought her plans through, "chewed down to the bone".
• True Companions: The Blood Gulch Crew, for all their spats and needling toward one another, all trust one another explicitly. Locus correctly surmises that, if they knew Texas was looking for Control, they would help her with no questions asks. This is exactly why she's keeping them Locked Out of the Loop.
• The Unintelligible: Despite being an Atlesian android, Lopez doesn't speak any known language on Remnant, speaking in Spanish as he does in his home series. According to Grif, Lopez' speech unit apparently fell from the sky one day. That being said, its implied that the only person that can understand him is Penny.
• Worth It: Tucker, on two accounts. The first is when he pulls his usual "bow-chicka-bow-wow" shtick with Glynda, and the second is when he gropes Yang's boobs.

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"This is a normal day to you?" Yang had to ask.
"You have no idea. You'd have to hang out with us to understand."