Top Secret was a Polish computer game magazine which existed between 1990 and 1996. Since 1992, the magazine featured a handful of recurring fictional characters, who appeared in comics and stories published in the magazine, and would sometimes write articles or answer the readers' mail.
They originally appeared out of necessity—after pretty much the entire staff resigned in 1992, the editor-in-chief had to prepare a new issue almost all by himself, so he came up with a handful of fictional personae to mask the staff shortage.
The Very Top Secret Kąpany
A team that consists of Naczelny, Dżemik and Kopalny, who sometimes set out on various game-related missions. This includes things such as heading into game worlds to write walkthroughs and maps, or researching the future of gaming via a time machine.- Big, Thin, Short Trio: With Kopalny being the big one, Naczelny being the thin one, and Dżemik the short one.
- Gratuitous English: The name of the group is in English (although with "company" deliberately misspelled with Polish letters.)
Naczelny
Naczelny (literally "chief", as in "editor in chief") is the alter ego of the actual editor-in-chief, Marcin Borkowski. He's a thin, moustachioed fellow.- Iconic Item: He is always seen with his briefcase, which he never leaves behind, no matter what. In one of the comics, its contents are finally revealed: alcohol.
- Ink-Suit Actor: His appearance is a caricature of the real-life Marcin Borkowski.
- The Leader: He usually takes this role in the team, though how much is Kopalny willing to listen to him varies.
Professor Dżemik
A short, balding guy who is a skilled scientist, and the team's go-to intellectual.- Gadgeteer Genius: His inventions include a mail-sorting machine and (in one episode) a time machine.
- Shout-Out: His name is a pun on the real-life linguist, professor Miodek ("miodek" is diminutive for "honey", "dżemik" is diminutive for "jam".)
- The Smart Guy: If you ever need him to explain things in Techno Babble or invent something convenient, he's your guy.
Kopalny
A menial worker employed at the magazine, his duties are mostly limited to mowing the lawn and doing any heavy physical work. He is depicted as a burly, short-haired, unshaven guy with a permanent dopey look. He really loves beer. \\ He is the main character of the fantasy story "Piwem i Mieczem" ("With Beer and Sword"), in which he gets transported to a fantasy land, and is subsequently roped into a dragon-slaying mission.- The Big Guy: During the missions of the Kąpany, he tends to serve as the muscle.
- Lazy Bum: He may be employed for menial work, but he absolutely hates it, and often complains (in the magazine) how much he is exploited.
- Perma-Stubble: He is always drawn with a stubbly beard. One of the magazine issues mentions that "handing Kopalny a razor is a particularly uncomplicated method of suicide", although it's not clear if it's his Berserk Button or if he is that clumsy with it.
- Punny Name: Of a rather convoluted sort. One of the meanings of the word "Naczelny" is "primate"; "Kopalny" ("fossil") is thus meant to be an antonym, as in, someone way more primitive than Naczelny.
- Real Men Wear Pink: He is always depicted in a bright-pink sweatshirt.
Brat Marcin
The mysterious, never-seen "coordinator from the Bajtek center" who manages the Very Top Secret Kąpany. He is actually the alter ego of the real-life head editor, Marcin Borkowski. Yes, just like Naczelny, which means there are two separate fictional alter egos of the same person. Don't think about it too hard.- The Faceless: While he actually shows up in person in one of the comics, his face is not visible.
- Mission Control: Apparently fills this role, though he's not above taking on the mission on his own whenever the Kąpany turns out to be particularly incompetent.
Małolata
Małolata ("Teenybopper") is Kopalny's occasionally mentioned girlfriend. Kopalny apparently considers her terrifying. In "Piwem i Mieczem", he compares her to a rock avalanche, and upon hearing the roar of an enraged dragon he wonders if it's her.- The Ghost: She is mentioned in the magazine, but is never depicted in any of the comics.
