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Eric Feeble
The well-meaning but long-suffering protagonist of the series.
- Butt-Monkey: Big time; this guy makes Charlie Brown look Born Lucky in comparison. Absolutely nothing goes right for him, and his stress gets to the point where his vein strangles him.
- Character Catchphrase: "Maria! Get a move on!" and "ALISON, WILL YOU SHUT UP?!"
- Cosmic Plaything: Sometimes, it seems like the universe is against him.
- Cross-Popping Veins: He gets these throughout the episodes as he gets stressed, and they get to the point where they end up choking him.
- Nice Guy: Despite being stressed almost all the time, he tries to be polite and cares a lot about his kids; he might as well be the Token Good Teammate of the show, which makes his suffering worse than it has to be.
- They Killed Kenny Again: His vein kills him at the end of almost every episode, but he is shown alive and well in the next episode (as well as he can be, anyway)
Claire Feeble
Eric's feeble 6-year old daughter who is allergic to virtually everything.
- Butt-Monkey: Not to the extent of her father, but being allergic to everything can make her this.
- Character Catchphrase: "Thank you, Daddy!"
- Deliberately Cute Child: She'll sometimes use her cuteness to get what she wants.
- Girlish Pigtails: She sports some of these.
- Meaningful Name: She is incredibly feeble, considering almost anything can make her ill.
- Nice Girl: Generally sweet and cute.
Brian Feeble
Eric's slow-witted 10-year old son who has a habit of putting anything in his mouth.
- The Ditz: He was held back for three years in school, and tends to put things in his mouth.
- Extreme Omnivore: He will eat anything, even if it isn't edible.
- Lethally Stupid: In the episode "Hospital", Brian chews a fire blanket, which doesn't work against the fire caused by Maria later.
- Vocal Dissonance: His voice is quite deep for his age. Maybe he's an early bloomer?
- The Voiceless: Brian never talks, only grunts or makes other noises.
Maria Gonzalez
The Feeble family's Portuguese au pair, who dresses like a punk and is a heavy drinker.
- The Alcoholic: Maria is always seen hungover. According to the episode "Tidy", she has been drinking since the age of 12. She also only goes to church for the communion wine, and uses booze as perfume. The series finale "Au Pair" has her recovering from this.
- Alcohol-Induced Stupidity: A lot of the problems the Feebles face come from her drunken antics, and sometimes can be lethal, such as in "Hospital" where she ends up setting the house on fire trying to cook hungover.
- Character Catchphrase: "Oh, go, please!"
- Cluster Bleep-Bomb: She sets off a nasty one to Mrs. Perfect in "Bursting" when the latter confronts her for stealing Heather's Marie Antoinette costume for Claire.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Maria is lazy, rude, aggressive, and constantly hungover, but does care deep down. This is shown in "Au Pair" when she finally sobers up and becomes a lot nicer.
- She Cleans Up Nicely: In "Au Pair" when she finally cleans up her act.
- Took a Level in Kindness: When she sobers up in "Au Pair", Maria is shown to be a sweet young woman who drops Eric's kids off at home when she finds them waiting outside of school after hours.
The Perfects
The Feebles' snobbish next door neighbors, who are, well, perfect. At least in the things they do.
- The Ace: They are shown to be ridiculously good at everything.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Due to being perfect, they may seem friendly, but in reality, they're snobbish, condescending, arrogant assholes, especially Mrs. Perfect.
- Character Catchphrase:
- Mr. Perfect: "I will AWAY!"
- Mrs. Perfect: "Ah, Eric! How art thou?"
Liz
Eric's selfish, eccentric ex-wife.
- Character Catchphrase: "This is exactly why we split up, Eric!"
- Cloudcuckoolander: Liz is a bit out there, often trying bizarre New Age ideas, such as trying to rally a fanbase for hedgehogs.
- Granola Girl: Her defining characteristic for all her eccentricities.
- Hypocrite: She will often shrill at Eric for being selfish when he tries to ask her for a favor, despite her being selfish herself.
- It's All About Me: She cares more about her New Age needs than Eric's and their kids.
- Large Ham: She can be a drama queen when Eric so much as dares to ask her for help, immediately accusing him of being selfish.
