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The Sudbury Blueberry Bulldogs
Shoresy
Are you my brother? Would you go to the wall for me? Then you're allowed to call me a fucking useless cunt on your way there.
Played By: Jared Keeso
Without a doubt, the dirtiest, chirpiest, rudest fucking cunt in the NOSHO, on and off the ice. He gave you a cup check when you turned your back on him, fucked your mom, twice, and afterwards dropped a big fat steamer on her chest because she asked nicely. If it weren't for the fact he's one of the best (and toughest) players, his mouth probably would have gotten him carted from the rink in an ambulance his very first game.
Shoresy's the last hope of keeping the Sudbury Bulldogs alive after twenty straight losses. The owner threatens to fold the team but Shoresy swears he can turn them around - not because he loves winning, but because he hates losing.
- Adaptational Nice Guy: Shoresy in Letterkenny was an absolute dick with zero redeeming qualities, who couldn't give less of a fuck about his team or the girls he dates. Here, he's still a dick, but with many more redeeming qualities. Perhaps the biggest example being that he couldn't give less of a damn in Letterkenny if his carelessness cost the team their championship trophy, while here his main goal is to turn the Sudbury Bulldogs into a winning team again.
- Dogged Nice Guy: Shoresy keeps hitting on Laura Mohr by showering her with compliments, making her laugh, and listing all the things he'd do for her if she let him. She constantly turns him down, but not in a way that suggests his interest is unwelcome, so he keeps at it. At the end of season 2, he finally wins her over.
- Embarrassing Nickname: Shoresy's is 'Waffle', though he doesn't mind at all when his family uses it.
- Heroic Sacrifice: In a must-win situation, Shoresy chirps to his opponent before a faceoff that he's going to immediately put his stick right into the guy's jaw and remove all his remaining teeth. His opponent says to bring it on. But it's a ruse. Shoresy instead flicks the puck back to a teammate as part of a risky beer-league play to send the puck up ice, leaving himself vulnerable to attack. Shoresy gets brutally cross-checked on the drop, knocking him to his knees for the remainder of the play. But his gambit works, and the Bulldogs score the winning goal.
- Hidden Depths: "The Man Advantage" reveals that the reason Shoresy pushes himself so hard in hockey, despite acknowledging that he's getting a bit old to be going as hard as he does, is because he doesn't feel like he has a place in the world otherwise. In the rink, he's a hero. Outside of it, he's just some idiot loser.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Shoresy is unrepentantly dickish to everyone regardless of race, creed, sexual orientation. He is an equal opportunity asshole. But he truly loves his team and wants his teammates to succeed. He's also extremely grateful and loving to his foster family and constantly reminds his team to call their parents after taking a flight or winning a game to maintain a healthy relationship. He is deeply infatuated with reporter Laura Mohr, who is the only person on Earth he treats politely.
- Ladykiller in Love: Shoresy, renowned for wheeling his buddies' moms, is head-over-heels in love with Laura Mohr, the local sportswriter. Instead of his usual foul-mouthed string of obscenities, he talks about the nice meals they could have and how "I'd be so good to you." It's adorable.
- Likes Older Women: Shoresy, showing that all of his I Banged Your Mom jokes from Letterkenny might have been more accurate then we'd all assumed. He even calls women near his own age 'too young' for him. Others attribute it to his lack of a mother figure growing up.
- No Full Name Given: His first name is never mentioned, in this series or Letterkenny where the character originated.
- Patriotic Fervor: Just like in Letterkenny, Shoresy is proud to be a Canadian, so much so that he always cries when listening to the national anthem. When the American team arranges for a completely horrific flute rendition to be played during the away game, he's visibly struggling not to lose his shit.
- Rash Promise: "This team will never lose again." Shoresy's last ditch pitch to convince Nat, the team's owner and GM, not to fold after enduring a season with zero wins. Nat agrees to keep the team afloat but counters with her own promise: if the Bulldogs lose again, they fold.
- Sore Loser: Shoresy in spades. He's broken more sticks in anger and taken more cheap shots than the rest of the league combined. Shoresy hates losing.
- Took a Level in Kindness: As an Adaptational Nice Guy, Shoresy is already substantially less unpleasant to be around than when he appeared in Letterkenny. Becoming the captain of the Bulldogs also sees him learning to become a leader.
- Vocal Dissonance: One of Shoresy's defining characteristics. In spite of being a fit, muscular athlete, he talks in a grating falsetto voice. It's not an affectation or an attempt to be even more annoying, it's just how he talks. When emotionally overcome, his voice sometimes drops to a normal level.
"Sanger" Sanguinet
I don't want to be a bully.
Played By: Harlan Blayne Kytwayhat
A healthy scratch on a last-place club in the NOSHO, Sanguinet is thrust into the position of Coach for the Bulldogs after Shoresy infuriates the previous coach and gets him fired. Extremely positive, and never wanting be the bad guy, Sanger accepts his role and takes his responsibilities as coach seriously. He turns to Shoresy for advice on how to handle the team when he thinks his good-natured approach will fail them. But when push comes to shove, Sanger doesn't shy away from his role as a leader.
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Adorkable: Sanger is quiet, reserved, respectful, and shy. Physically he's thin and not nearly as athletic as his teammates. In a cast of loudmouths and brutes, he stands out because he's the opposite of all of them. - Morality Pet: For Shoresy. Shoresy's most common response to anything Sanger says is "shut the fuck up," but Sanger is also one of the few people Shoresy listens to and takes advice from. Sanger eventually teaches Shorsey the power of positivity as a motivator, helping him overcome his dickish nature. Because Sanger is one of the few people Shoresy actually respects (and even likes), anybody who disrespects Sanger will end up unconscious on the floor.
- The Peter Principle: He started as a mediocre player, but then became the coach and excelled there.
- Sickening Sweethearts: He and Miig start dating in season two, and are adorable as a couple.
- Team Dad: As the coach, he takes this role- especially in contrast to Shoresy, who's the captain. Shoresy takes a more aggressive role, while Sanguinet is calmer and more positive.
- Villainous Crush: Michaels' ex, Mercedes, has a crush on him and either hasn't noticed or doesn't care about the hints that he's not interested despite their past entanglement.
Ted "Hitch" Hitchcock
Loyal to the soil, boys! Loyal to the soil!
Played By: Harlan Blayne Kytwayhat
A friendly Newfie that played in the same Senior league as Shoresy when he was with Letterkenny, brought in for his "veteran presence." Old, but still in his prime, Hitchcock is one of the most supportive players in the locker room, and as a defenseman, one of the toughest players on (and off) the ice.- Boisterous Bruiser: Hitchcock is one of the toughest guys out there, but he's almost always smiling, chipper, and positive. You'd buy him a beer after he beat the crap out of you, because you probably deserved it.
- Single Woman Seeks Good Man: Ted isn't interested in having flings and short-term relationships. He wants a woman he can have a meaningful relationship with, which he eventually finds with Pam.
- Unintelligible Accent: Speaks with a thick Newfoundland accent and dialect. But like his French-speaking counterparts, Ted's mainland teammates don't seem to have any trouble understanding him. The viewers on the other hand...
Brant "Goody" Goodleaf
Sticks are unbelievable.
Played By: Andrew Antsanen
Another player brought in by Shoresy for his "veteran presence." He played in The Show - not the NHL, but Lacrosse, much to the chagrin of Nat and Ziig. Goody's quiet, calm, and smaller in stature than his teammates, but god help you if he ever shows you his gap. If he does, buy him some chicken and he might settle down, because chicken is unbelievable.- Catchphrase: Has several, and rarely speaks without using one. Sometimes, it's all he says. "X is unbelievable" and "Settle down" being the most prominent.
- Obsessed with Food: Not a conversation goes by where Goody doesn't mention some kind of food, especially chicken. It doesn't matter what's being discussed, either. Goody will bring it back around to eating.
Jonathan "Dolo" Diaby
Si vous étiez pas déjà en tabarnak, ça serait le bon moment de vous mettre en tabarnak.
Played By: Jonathan Diaby
Yet another former NHL'er brought in by Shoresy to bolster the team's "veteran presence," played by the actual man himself who gave up professional hockey In Real Life for a professional rap career. His towering presence is usually enough to defuse a fight, and as a defenseman he's second only to the Jims when it comes to defending his teammates. But he can also score from the point, making him the whole package.- Adam Westing: Jonathan Diaby plays a fictional version of himself, including footage from a real life incident where he went into the stands after a racist fan.
- As Himself: A fictionalized version of what the real-world Jonathan Diaby decided to do after retiring from hockey.
- Bilingual Bonus: Nearly all of his dialogue is in Quebecois.
Jean-Jacques François Jacques Jean "JJ Frankie JJ"
The Pride of Quebec
Played By: Max Bouffard
The fourth and final former NHL'er brought in by Shoresy to bolster the team's "veteran presence." Shoresy and JJ actually have a very adversarial relationship, but JJ agreed to come to play for the Bulldogs because there's an impossible number of good looking girls in Sudbury.- Bullying a Dragon: During during a Senior tournament some years prior JJ pointed to the scoreboard flaunting Shoresy's team's 5-0 deficit. Shoresy responded with a dirty behind-the-back slash to the knee which sent JJ to the hospital and allowed Shoresy's team to come back to win.
- The Casanova: JJ Frankie JJ comes to Sudbury with the beautiful Laurence Leboeuf on his arm, and proceeds to cheat on her with no less than three other gorgeous movie stars. The stated reason for him coming to play on a team with his former nemesis Shoresy is that Sudbury is packed with beautiful women.
- Kavorka Man: JJ Frankie JJ is a minor-league hockey player who is not a great beauty. However, he is notorious for dating many of Quebec's most beautiful female celebrities, and explicitly only accepted Shoresy's request to play for the Bulldogs because of all the beautiful women in Sudbury. He even dates two different Canadian actresses over the course of the first season, and is two-timing one of them with a third actress in season two.
The Jims
Jim. Jim. Also Jim.
Played By: Jon Mirasty, Brandon Nolan, Jordan Nolan
Sudbury Correctional Officers who moonlight as bouncers at the Coulson, who catch the attention of GM Nat when she's looking to shore up the Bulldog's offensive capabilities on the ice. They're not so much enforcers but living zambonis, who clear the ice of obstructions so the scorers can do their thing.- Closet Geek: The Jims are die-hard trivia fans and have a regular game with convicts at the prison.
- Identically Named Group: Shoresy tries to give them different nicknames (Jimmer, Jimmy, Jim-Bob) but the Jims refuse. He wisely decides to let them keep their chosen names.
- Serious Business: The Jims take their trivia competitions so seriously that when their team is down a player, it throws them off to the point that they can't focus on hockey.
Mark Michaels
That's why they call me "never misses the Mark Michaels!"
Played By: Ryan McDonell
The Bulldogs' former coach, who is brought back as the goalie after the last one quits.- Butt-Monkey: He gets no respect from the players as both the coach and as a player. He manages to gain their acceptance at the end of season 1, but he's still not exactly the most respected guy.
- Hopeless Suitor: He's in love with his ex-girlfriend, Mercedes, and wants to get back with her even though she cheated on him, sleeps with nearly every guy around and is very obviously not interested.
- The Peter Principle: He started as the coach, but was terrible at it. He does a lot better as the goalie.
- Took a Level in Badass: Starts off the series as a coach who went 0-22 for the campaign and was fired. He's brought back on as the goalie and is routinely humiliated by Shoresy and gets no respect from the rest of the team, but after just three games helps turn the team around with his goal tending. In Season 2, Michaels is a key factor in the team's season-spanning win streak and can unironically claim to be known as "Never Misses The Mark Michaels".
Ownership/Management
Nat
If you lose, we fold.
Played By: Tasya Teles
Owner and GM of the Bulldogs, having inherited the team and position from her mother when she died. Like Shoresy, she loves the team but hates to lose. She's on the verge of folding the team not out of financial concerns, but because she can't bear to see how far the team has fallen.- Hidden Depths: "Hockey Brings People Together" reveals that a lot of Nat's drive to make the Bulldogs succeed isn't just the fact that she owns the team and it's her money and reputation on the line, it's that her recently deceased mother owned the team before her and Nat wants to live up to her. Also, like her cousin Tanis, Nat sees hockey as a way of getting people into a safe, harmless pastime and away from negative influences.
- High-Powered Career Woman: Is in absolute control of the Bulldogs with and has the respect of the players, including Shoresy. Even though she inherited the team from her mom, she also owns and operates a very successful nightclub.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: Nat doesn't take crap from anyone and enjoys seeing hockey players fight and watching as her bouncers beat the snot out of anyone who gets out of line, but she is shown to be fair, understanding, and compassionate to her underlings.
Miigwan "Miig"
Kids in sports stay off the streets.
Played By: Keilani Rose
One of Nat's lieutenants and Ziig's younger sister.- Nice Girl: In contrast to Ziig, who's more bitchy and aggressive.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: She's the blue to Ziig's red.
- Relationship Upgrade: After spending season 1 exchanging smiles and glances with Sanguinet, they start dating in season two.
- Sickening Sweethearts: With Sanguinet, after they start dating.
Ziigwan "Ziig"
Tough natives is redundant.
Played By: Blair Lamora
Nat's second lieutenant and Miig's older sister.- If It's You, It's Okay: She prefers women, but is very attracted to Dolo.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: She's the red to Miig's blue.
- Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: She and Shoresy are constantly sniping and insulting each other. It's played for laughs at one point when Ziig says that Shoresy will kick the team into line, and the fact that she didn't insult him once has Nat and Miig comment that she must be sick.
- Twofer Token Minority: She's queer and First Nations.
