Oh, Brother!
It's a stormy day in the Mushroom Kingdom. Rain is coming down in sheets and lightning is about. Inside a Toad house, Toadstool exposits that they've had two straight weeks of rain and expresses concerns about flooding. Unfortunately, the Mario Brothers are not coping as well as the princess. Mario is listening to music on a gramophone and Luigi just wants him to be quiet so he can read. The song in question is an instrumental version of “The Double Cross,” a song whose full version we'll hear later in “Crimes R Us.” After Mario says that the record is hot, Luigi makes it even hotter by throwing it in the fireplace. With civility out the window, the siblings begin yelling at each other until Luigi pulls Mario's cap over his eyes, snaps his overalls and pulls his mustache. A fight cloud erupts briefly before Mario says he wishes he never had a brother. Luigi then walks out the door and into the rain, ignoring Toadstool's suggestion to put on a frog suit. Mario then decides he has to go after Luigi and leaves, again ignoring Toadstool as she tells him to take his frog suit.
Now we get to see what Kooky and King Dad are up to. You know all the rain they've been having? Yeah, well if you look up in the sky you can see a massive array of giant shower heads that are causing this deluge. Kooky calls it his Power Shower.™ Why's he doing this? Simple. He's collecting gold coins by flushing them out of pipes and is collecting them at what would have to be some sort of pipe system convergence point. Unfortunately, the second Kooky is done explaining this, all this the pipes in their underground room spring a leak and soak the two of them. Kooky says he can't fix it because he's not a plumber. Okay, so you can build a machine that spreads rain across the better part of a kingdom, but you can't perform basic maintenance on it? Koopa plots to grab one of the Marios to fix the problem.
On the surface, Mario has caught up to Luigi, but the pair aren't ready to make up yet. Luigi repeats his earlier cap over the eyes, snapping overalls, mustache pulling bit, which makes Mario even more upset. Kooky has the pair on a periscope and Koopa has to decide which brother he'll kidnap, the scientific way. So he walks over to a pair of dartboards with the brothers faces on them and does eeny, meeny, miny, moe until he comes up with Mario. Kooky then sets to work by taking a fishing rod and casting into a warp pipe. Amazingly, he catches Mario on his line and Kooky reels him in through the warp pipe.
Mario is, of course, not happy about being kidnapped, and refuses to fix the broken plumbing. Kooky however has a way around this, something he calls the Lame-Brainer.™ A big fat helmet with dodads sticking out of it. He plonks it on Mario's head and a second later he's spouting “your wish is my command.” To test to see how well it's working, Kooky offers Mario some pasta, which Mario drools over. Then Kooky tells him that he hates pasta and Mario immediately turns his nose up at it. Hey Kooky, I think this brain washing helmet is a bigger hit than your rain making plot. Maybe you wanna try using a brain-washed Mario to do more than just fix your plumbing? No? Alright.
Back on the surface, Luigi jumps down the drain that Mario was pulled through, but promptly turns around when he sees a cheep cheep. We cut to Toad's house, where Toad and Toadstool are reading. Luigi rushes in and without saying a word, runs into the closet. A minute later he emerges wearing a frog suit. I think Toadstool is just glad someone finally listened to her.
As Luigi navigates the underwater passages we get to hear “Brotherly Love.” Back in the dungeon, Mario fixes the pipes just as Luigi enters. Koopa orders Mario to crush Luigi. So Mario comes at his brother with a wrench, but Luigi is able to hop out of the way of his attacks. Luigi tries talking Mario out of it, but when that doesn't work, he once again does the snapping overalls, pulling mustache bit. Oddly, the animation does not show Luigi pulling the helmet over Mario's eyes, but after a cut we see the helmet, well, over Mario's eyes. Apparently this makes the helmet pop off Mario's head somehow and land on Kooky. Mario is back to his senses and promptly orders Kooky to attack his dad. We then get a sequence of Kooky chasing his dad back and forth until they run down a hallway.
Back at Toad's house, Toadstool is congratulating Mario and Luigi for stopping the rain and returning all the gold coins back where they belong. Did they even know about the gold coin stealing scam? Did anyone for that matter? Most of the coins Koopa wound up with were just lying in underground pipes waiting to be picked up, so I don't think they even belonged to anyone. Well, coins aside, the brothers have stopped fighting. At least until it comes time to admit responsibility for who started the last fight, with both brothers volunteering to take the blame. This starts another fight, and Luigi pushes down Mario's hat, snaps his overalls and pulls his mustache one last time as the episode ends.
Having a Ball
We're back to Hyrule for this episode, as the opening shot once again shows us the strange rock formation Hyrule seems to be situated upon. It's night time, as you can tell by the narration and yawning guard. We also get a look at the Triforce. Unlike the games where they are usually depicted as a set of golden triangles, Captain N has made each individual Triforce a glowing pyramid-shaped object. The Triforce of Power is red with a P on it, Wisdom is green with a W, and Courage is blue with a C. You'd think Wisdom and Courage would have their colours switched, but in the Zelda cartoon that preceded Captain N, the Triforce of Wisdom was green and Power was red. They didn't have the letters on them though. It wouldn't be until years later that Ocarina of Time would come out and establishe the goddesses who created the Triforce. The three pieces of the Triforce are all floating above the throne surrounded in fields of energy.
We cut to a series of tubes that seem to have warp zones coming out of various openings. I think this was designed to be the inner network of the warp zones that show up in this show. Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo arrive and declare they're after the Triforce. Eggplant Wizard winds up with his head in what seems to be a polo arena and nearly gets decapitated for his trouble. After some typical henchmen squabbling the pair find a warp zone that takes them right into the throne room of Hyrule Castle. You'd think this would be considered a security breach, having a passage that leads past all the security. Eggplant Wizard asks King Hippo to ready the spell Mother Brain gave them, but Hippo can't find it and engages in a sequence of pulling various other assorted papers out of his pants. He eventually decides to just wing it, but the throne doesn't like that and sets off an alarm. In what is supposed to be a medieval style castle. Oh, wait. I forgot about the castle re-design that makes it all futurey looking. The throne starts shooting energy bolts in random directions, so Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo run back into the warp zone. Interestingly, we get a shot of a tapestry that shows the Triforce in its more well known three golden triangles form. A bunch of guards come rushing in and fall over each other as they get shot at. Zelda then walks in and shuts off the throne. Link rushes in to see what the fuss is. I should note that both of them are dressed in their pajamas. Zelda remarks that this was the third false alarm this week. Which means either there were two genuine false alarms before tonight or this is the third time Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo screwed up trying to grab the Triforce. Zelda goes back to bed, but not before kissing Link on the cheek.
Mother Brain is, of course, watching all this, and is happy that Zelda turned off the alarm. She also decides it's time to fire Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo because, well, do you even need me to list the reasons? She actually kicks them out using a giant pool cue of all things. She pulls a lever on the outside of her tank and transforms it into the other kind of tank. Also, she's now wearing aviator goggles. Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo start packing their stuff, unsure of what to do now. Eggplant Wizard decides the best thing for them to do is join the N Team.
At the Palace of Power, Kevin, Lana and Simon are arriving back from a mission to Kongoland. We know this because Kevin says exactly that. Lana laments how she misses how things were before all the fighting. She then recalls a birthday party her father threw for her last year. Again, I bring out the first episode and point out that they have been at war for seven years. I'd always assumed that her dad went missing at the start of the fighting but this, coupled with what Lyle said last episode, seems to confirm that he's been gone less than a year. That also means that he threw a big party, and invited people from all over Videoland, while the Palace of Power was under siege. I suspect that the writers don't know what a siege is. Kevin then vaporizes a nearby, um, something, to get Lana's attention, and tries to remind her how much fun they have during the adventures they go on. Lana walks off with Simon as they reminisce about the balls and such that they used to attend. Lana spots a pair of figures carrying musical instruments and immediately asks them to play at the ball she's just now throwing that evening. She, of course, doesn't recognize the pair as Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo, though why they're in disguise when they're here to defect is beyond me. Lana says she's inviting everyone, and Eggplant Wizard asks if that includes Zelda and Link, to which Lana answers in the affirmative. Lana tells them they start at eight, and as she leaves with Simon, Eggplant Wizard plots to snatch the Triforce during the ball when the only people left in Hyrule Castle are the guards. Although you'd only have to deal with Link and Zelda if you set off the alarm and the alarm has been turned off, so nothing has actually changed.
Later, at the Palace of Power, we see Lana's ball start up with characters such as Bayou Billy, Dr. Light, (he's called Dr. Right in this show,) and the blue people from Kongoland arriving. We then see Link and Zelda arrive in a floating chariot being pulled by a pair of white dragons. Lana and Zelda get to talking about how it seems like eons since the last time they had fun. Guys, Lana just said her dad threw her a party last year. Besides, you're still in the middle of a war here. Link and Kevin are not enjoying themselves, mostly due to the ridiculous outfits they are wearing. Lana drags Kevin onto the dance floor as the music starts and we can see Mega Man dancing with Megagirl in the background. If you don't know who that is, she appeared in a season one episode. Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo are also present, and in disguise, with Hippo dressed as a woman. Once they see Link and Zelda are there, they decide to split, but Simon asks Hippo to dance. He agrees to a short one.
Later, at Hyrule Castle, Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo enter through the warp zone and immediately begin prying the Triforce pieces off the throne. At the same time, Mother Brain rolls up in her tank and blows down the front door. Wait, she waited until the alarm was turned off before attacking, but she chose a plan of attack that is so loud and noisy everyone in the castle would hear her even if the alarm was turned off. Brilliant. Inside, Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo finally rip two of the Triforces free, while the third flies across the room. Hippo ends up with the Triforce of Power, while Eggplant Wizard got the Triforce of Courage. Back at the ball, Kevin is playing the guitar when Zelda doubles over in pain. No, she's not suffering from Kevin's poor guitar playing skills, she says something is wrong with the Triforce. Link explains that Zelda and the Triforce share a bond. I should point out that this bond is unique to this episode, as she never had anything like this in the Zelda cartoon. At Hyrule Castle, Mother Brain rolls into the throne room, but Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo aren't impressed. They taunt her for a bit before Hippo summons a giant boxing glove to punch Momma B through the ceiling. Eggplant Wizard then conjures a pickle rocket ship and the two blast off. They, of course, forget about the third Triforce, because counting to three is too much to expect from these guys.
The next morning, Kevin, Lana, Link and Zelda arrive to see the carnage from last night. Zelda actually bursts into tears at the sight of the missing Triforces. Then she spies the Triforce of Wisdom just sitting there in plain sight. Zelda says they can use the Triforce of Wisdom to lead them to the other pieces, which makes sense. Then she says that the forces that bind Hyrule together are coming apart, which doesn't make sense. See, in the Legend of Zelda cartoon, Zelda had the Triforce of Wisdom and Ganon had the Triforce of Power. The Triforce of Courage was MIA. Thing is, they were all separated for years at minimum, so there can't be any ill effects from having the three pieces separated. Zelda's bond with the Triforce could be a new development though so I'll give that a pass.
Back to Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo. Their pickle runs out of gas over a desert, though Hippo refers to it as a squash. Maybe it is a squash. They do seem to come in a lot of sizes and colours and it is wider at the bottom than the top. They crash-land, and are attacked by a giant bug creature. I think it's supposed to be a geldarm, an enemy which hasn't been seen since The Adventure of Link, though this one looks like a giant centipede with long, sharp claws at the end of its legs. Eggplant Wizard jumps into Hippo's arms and drops the Triforce of Courage. The geldarm sees it and immediately swears loyalty to the pair. Eggplant Wizard reminds us that with the Triforce they can command Ganon's minions. King Hippo immediately asks to be taken to some food, while Eggplant Wizard asks for some babes. And these two are in possession of two thirds of the most powerful artifact in the history of ever. Fantastic.
Meanwhile, in another part of the same desert, Zelda drops to the ground feeling unwell, though she insists they not stop. We then get an action scene when a bunch of stalfos and moblins attack the crew. Kevin shoots the moblins in midair and Link stabs the stalfos with his sword. Another stalfos is about to attack Zelda from behind but Kevin shoots it. Kevin proclaims the worst is over and the ground immediately gives way dropping them into a cave. You know whose fault this is Kevin? That's right, it's yours. Kevin and Zelda proclaim that the cave they're in is supposed to lead to Island Palace and shouldn't be in a desert. I guess this is supposed to show that Hyrule is all messed up from the Triforce pieces being apart, but this is never brought up again, so who knows? They're accosted by boomerangs thrown by a creature Link helpfully identifies as a goriya, though he may be mispronouncing it. Link holds up his shield to block the boomerangs until they get close enough for Kevin to act. He presses his D-pad, which acts like one big button here, and dashes to the side to get a clear shot at the goriya, killing it.
Next up is a montage set to “Get a Little Bit Crazy.” And by montage, I mean one scene of an armoured knight trying to run down the crew on a horse but missing and drowning in a pool of water. Our heroes come to a huge rockslide blocking their path, with a bird flying above it. Kevin hits pause, and when I say pause I of course mean select, to make the bird stop. They then tie a rope to the bird, unpause, and fly away. Right to a tower of some sort in the background.
Zelda and company arrive at the door to the tower and open it. Inside, moblins are playing instruments, Eggplant Wizard is surrounded by tomatoes dancing like Vegas showgirls, (and by dancing I mean they move one leg up and down while not moving the rest of their body,) while King Hippo is stuffing his face while a suit of armour fans him. Yeah, this is what happens when two idiots are granted absolute power. Kevin is surprised that the Triforce thieves are Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo, showing that for this episode they didn't read ahead in the script. As soon as Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo threaten to use the Triforces, Kevin quits and says he'll hand over the third Triforce, that way Hyrule and Zelda are safe. Eggplant reaches for the Triforce, but the moment he does Kevin kicks the Triforce of Courage out of his hand. The next moment Link rushes in and knocks the Triforce of Power out of Hippo's mitts. So, within a matter of seconds, those two morons managed to lose absolute power. The Triforces start to glow, as does Zelda, and after declaring she wants Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo out of her kingdom, a warp opens up and the two are sucked in.
Back on Metroid, we see that Mother Brain has accepted Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo back into her services. Though she's still upset at them, as evidenced by the fact that she's stuffed them into a pair of pool balls and shoots a giant cue ball at them.
Misadventure of Mighty Plumber
We kick off this episode with the Mario brothers watching TV. Luigi is too afraid to watch what happens and covers his eyes. Mario then expresses doubts as to weather bringing a TV into the Mushroom Kingdom was such a good idea if Luigi is going to freak out. So wait, if the TV is from back home, how are you getting any reception? We see on the TV a woman being attacked by a sludge monster, which is apparently a really bad clog. She then picks up the phone and while not talking into it, asks for help from Mighty Plumber. The announcer then announces a commercial while the sludge monster gets stuck in an animation glitch as he keeps flipping between two sizes. Luigi, apparently never having seen any form of TV before in his life, asks if Mighty Plumber will save the woman.
At Kastle Koopa, we see bad ol' King Dad throwing a temper tantrum. Interestingly, the Mario brothers dart boards from the last episode can be seen in the background. Bigmouth and Bully walk in and start imitating their dad, but Koopa tells them to cut it out. Turns out he's upset because he just found a treasure map to the royal coin treasury of Pipe Land. Sounds like good news, right? Well, Koopa is savvy enough to know that the Marios would stop him if he tried to do anything with it. Hip and Hop then run (and roll) into the room in their first speaking role. They're here to show their dad what Cheatsy's been doing, namely using magic to rip objects out of the TV. He then casts a spell on a race car, which pops into the living room, and Hip and Hop happily drive around in it. Back on the TV, we see Cheastsy is watching the same channel as the Marios, just as Mighty Plumber returns from commercial break. Hold up. I thought Mario brought his TV in from the “Real World.” Where did this TV come from? On the show, Mighty Plumber makes his appearance and ties up the sludge monster. Koopa sees this and somehow arrives at the conclusion that Mighty Plumber would be able to stop the Marios, so he zaps him out of the TV. Koopa tries to recruit Mighty Plumber, but the TV character says he has a leaky kitchen to fix. We cut back to the TV, where we see that in the five seconds he's been gone the kitchen has filled to bursting with water. Koopa tells Mighty Plumber that two evil plumbers are trying to steal a gold coin treasury and he needs to bring it to his castle for safe keeping. Mighty Plumber, for no reason at all, trusts Koopa completely and agrees to help.
Back at the Mario Brother's house, the siblings are having problems with their TV, when a piranha plant pops its head in the window and breaths a load of fire on the wall, leaving a message in the scorch marks. It's a message from Koopa telling the brothers what he's doing and daring them to stop him.
We cut to a shot of what I'm assuming is the Pipe Land Castle, because its green and shaped kind of like a warp pipe. Mighty Plumber tries to open up a pipe while Koopa imagines what he'll buy with all his new coins. He's interrupted by the Marios, but he calls over Mighty Plumber. The brothers immediately start to fangasm. Mighty Plumber comes at them with a plunger and they hide in a pipe. In response, Mighty Pumber goes after them with a plumbing snake. The brothers thread one end of the snake into another warp pipe, inside the warp pipe they're already inside. The snake then pops out another pipe, tangles Koopa, and drags him out.
The brothers are busy navigating the tunnels and are faced with two pipes to travel through. In a recurring theme this episode, they play eeny, meeny, miny, moe. They soon come upon Koopa's voice and see him in a room below them. Mario attaches a piranha plant to Luigi's bottom and lowers him down so that he's dangling above Koopa. Unfortunately Luigi's pants give out and he falls right on top of Koopa, though he manages to grab the map and run away. A scuffle ensues that ends with the brothers running away with the map. The brothers grab a pipe and start riding down a river as Mighty Plumber and Koopa follow on a grate. How a grate floats is beyond me. We then get to hear “Super Plumber” during a chase that ends with Mighty Plumber grabbing the map and escaping with Koopa.
Shortly after pulling themselves out of the water, Mario and Luigi come across wet footprints and follow them to Koopa and Mighty Plumber as they try to open the door to the vault. Mighty Plumber opens the door with a simple twist of his wrench. Great security. Koopa uses a wand to fill a sack full of coins. Can't have been that many coins if he can fit them all in one sack. Oh, never mind. In the next shot we see there's still a big pile of coins. The cash must have been boobie trapped somehow, because the room starts to fill with water from a series of pipes. Koopa then admits to being a thief, runs out the door and closes it. In an instant the water comes up to Mighty Plumber's waist, then stops. The Mario brothers are there watching from a hole in the ceiling. Mighty Plumber's feeling down about being tricked and the brothers give him a pep talk. They hop down, plug up one of the pipes, then let the pressure build up until it's enough to create a projectile that blows down the vault door.
Outside the vault, the trio of plumbers catch up to Koopa just as he jumps into a warp pipe back home. The plumbers open another pipe and spew copious amounts of water into the pipe Koopa just went into. The water makes Koopa drop the bag o' cash and sweeps him down a hole that's in his floor for some reason. Cheatsy grabs the bag, but the plumbers arrive and swipe it from him. Cheatsy runs off, but Mighty Plumber rides on top of a wave and grabs him with his snake. The brothers insist Cheatsy use his magic to put Mighty Plumber back in the TV and he does so. Mario then grabs the wand from Cheatsy and the brothers leave with the money. We then cut to the brothers happily watching their poorly written TV show.
“Having a Ball” has an interesting setup. Not the part about the ball. That doesn't go anywhere. I'm talking about Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo quitting Mother Brain's employ and using the Triforces to become powerful in their own right. Unfortunately, they never get to do much with it, as the heroes confront them, then defeat them in the span of about two seconds. I never really cared much for the Mighty Plumber episode growing up. Can't really say why. It's not terrible or anything. Then again I wouldn't say it's especially good either. Anyone who has a brother or sister will tell you that “Oh Brother” does a good job conveying what a fight between siblings is like. Well, if you cut out all the brain-washing anyway.
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