While all of the other episodes of Captain N and the Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3 were recorded on two VHS tapes, this episode was recorded on a third tape. I'm not sure where this particular tape is hiding at the moment as I haven't seen it in years. I don't even remember what other shows are on it but I know this is the only episode of Captain N & The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3, recorded on it. This is the last episode I had taped and thus the last episode I ever saw as a kid.
True Colors
As we kick things off we see the Doomship flying over the Mushroom Kingdom. Kooky and Cheatsy are trying to wake up their dad, saying that it's time for their midnight sneak attack. This, despite the fact that it's clearly day outside. Cheatsy pulls a lever that causes a bucket of water to be spilled on Koopa's head. Not sure who installed that. I'm guessing Kooky. Guy's always coming up with weird crap. This does nothing, so Kooky starts the attack without dear ol' King Dad. A swarm of para-goombas fly down and break through the walls of a house, causing all the inhabitants to run outside. And due to an animation/continuity error every one of them is either coloured red or blue, which won't happen till later. We see a bunch more mushroom people start to fight off the para-goombas with gardening equipment. Soon the Mario Brothers arrive via warp pipe and fly around with their raccoon powers. The para-goombas turn tail and fly away. As they do so we can see the Doomship next to a big white circle in the sky. It doesn't look like the sun, so I'm guessing it's the moon. Of course if the animators wanted it to look like night as the dialogue suggests they could have drawn in some stars or actually coloured the sky black instead of blue.
Back at Kastle Koopa, the big guy is upset that nobody woke him for the big attack. It's not like they didn't try man. Koopa sits in his throne and tries to get some shut eye but Cheasty insists he has a plan to turn the Mushroom people against each other. Koopa says to tell him in the morning.
It's morning the next day and the Doomship arrives over the Mushroom Kingdom accompanied by the song for this episode, “Paint the Town.” As that plays we get a montage of Koopa's forces dropping paint on everyone in town. As the lyrics point out, half of the people get painted red and the other half get painted blue. We get a shot of Mario, Luigi, Toad and Toadstool all standing together outside. Toad and Toadstool walk inside the house just a moment before the paint comes their way, painting Mario blue and Luigi red. Kooky congratulates himself on his paint working, because apparently paint is super high tech in the Mario universe, while Koopa complains that it's too early in the morning and that he didn't get any sleep last night.
A while later we see that everyone in town has been turned completely red or blue from head to toe. Kooky disguises himself as a blue mushroomer and Cheatsy dresses as a red one. The pair stir up trouble by having one of them agitate some mushroomers of the opposite colour, then having the other walk in and point out that the differently coloured people are always jerks. This culminates in the two of them walking into each other and starting a fight. This escalates when onlookers join in supporting the guy coloured the same way they are. Toadstool arrives on the scene and tries to calm everyone down with little success. When Mario and Luigi try to intervene however the pair actually get caught up in the argument and spend the rest of the scene with arms crossed not looking at each other. A red and blue from each side both agree that they're going to have a big ol' fight tomorrow morning and everyone walks off. Why wait guys? You're all rilled up now and waiting is only gonna let you cool off. I want to see a big burly mushroom brawl!
Later at Kastle Koopa, Mario and Luigi sneak inside but upon finding three possible doorways to take the pair split up. Mario runs back from his door, chased by a chain chomp and Luigi runs back out, chased by a fire chomp. As a horde of para-goombas come flying in, they both run through the third door. After running through a warp pipe, they come across three more pipes. The two start arguing about which way to go. Mario wants to go down pipe number one. Luigi says he wants to go down pipe number two, as he holds up three fingers. They're about to come to blows over this, but stop when they hear Kooky and Cheasty's voices coming from pipe three. They peek in and we see the two Koopas standing at the bottom of the pipe. There's no doors or anything, they're just there at the bottom of a normal, non-warp pipe. Through good old fashioned Koopa gloating they revel in the success of their plan. Mario and Luigi realize that they've been idiots and apologize to each other. Not sure they had to bust in to Kastle Koopa to figure out what the evil scheme was. Actually, now that I think about it, this trip didn't really accomplish anything.
We next cut to the red and blue hordes of Mushroom people with a third greener horde not far off. Koop yawns and informs Kooky via his wand that he's going to invade with his horde of sledge brothers as soon as the fight starts. We see a group of red mushroom people who are standing still, wagging their heads back and forth in utter confusion. The red guy we saw before is having second thoughts about this whole fight thing, but a disguised Cheatsy arrives to get everyone revved up again. Same story on the blue side. Just as everyone is about to come to blows, Mario and Luigi show up saying that Toadstool is stuck in a warp drain. Everyone on both sides agrees to help her despite protests by Kooky and Cheatsy. I'd like to remind everyone that Toadstool is about the only person who hasn't been coloured. In fact, I'm willing to bet you people would still be at each other's throats if Toadstool had gotten splattered like everyone else in town. When everyone follows the brothers to Toadstool, she reveals that she was never in any danger at all. The mob of people aren't angry that they were lied to, but agree to stop fighting. Kooky and Cheatsy arrive on the scene and start fighting themselves to try and get the rumble going. Unfortunately for them, their disguises come off. As the Mushroom people ready to chase them out of town, Cheatsy tries calling his dad on the magic wand, but Koopa's fast asleep. The kids run off and Mario starts delivering the Aesop for the episode. As his colours magically turn back to normal he says that people in the “Real World” will stop caring about colour as soon as they become “as smart as mushrooms.” Really? You people developed racism in an afternoon because two kids manipulated you, then you stopped because someone else told you to. That's not being smart, that's being gullible.
The Feud of Faxanadu
This episode kicks off with a literal kick-off, because the N Team is playing football at the Palace of Power. I didn't know the palace had a football field, but they're playing in a real (if very small) stadium with stands and everything. Simon hikes the ball to Mega Man, who throws it back at Simon so hard he falls over and starts rolling. Duke then runs up and grabs Simon's leg, pulling down his pants. This causes Simon to drop the ball and lets Kevin grab it thanks to his D-pad. Simon grabs the ball from Kevin using his whip and Game Boy swoops underneath Simon, lifting him off the ground. Lana blows the whistle pointing out that no one is playing by the rules. The football has somehow started flying in a perfect spiral to a big round circle that appears to be part of the stadium architecture, specifically one of the goal posts. Both Kevin and Kid Icarus decide to shoot the ball at this point and they both hit the ball at the same time, causing it to vanish in a flash of light and an electric surge to travel all across the stadium. For some reason. Everyone then runs in the opposite direction and jumps through a warp zone that happens to be located at the other goal post. Why would you put a warp zone there? Or perhaps I should ask, why would you build a football stadium on top of a warp zone?
The N Team emerge from the warp zone in a forested area and the warp starts smoking behind them. Apparently whatever they did blew out the warp zone and Lana says they need to find another way back. Simon and Kevin get into a tiff and they decide to continue with the game they were playing with new rules, first team back to the palace wins. Simon runs off with Mega Man and Kid Icarus, leaving Kevin, Game Boy and Duke behind with Lana. Lana tells Kevin he's being stupid for turning this into a game, but Kevin doesn't care. Kevin takes one step and the ground gives way beneath the two of them causing them to fall into a hole. I'd like to point out that the animation makes it quite clear that they had been standing on this spot for quite some time and nothing happened till they tried to step off it. A strange yellowish fluid then starts to fill the hole and Kevin tries to use his gamepad, but can't because it shorts out for some reason. A pair of short, fat, blue dudes with pointy ears appear up above, standing on a large log going over the hole. After the blue dudes tell a bad joke, the log snaps and they fall in, but Kevin and Lana can now climb up the remains of the log and out of the hole. Lana asks for directions and the two blue dudes agree to take them to their king.
We get an establishing shot of the world we've ended up in, which is a giant tree suspended in space. That's right folks, we're back on Faxanadu, last seen in “Germ Wars.” We're introduced to our villain for the episode, a guy named the Evil One. That's what he's called in the game too, so you can't blame the writers for this one. I should also mention that this guy is only addressed as such once in the episode, so I grew up without a clue as to what his name was. In the game the Evil One
◊ was a big skull-like thing on two long skeletal legs, but here he looks much more intimidating with big horns, a robe and bat wings. Although the close up shots of his face in this scene colour his head white instead of black. He's talking to another blue dude, this one with a big nose, who mentions strangers appearing. The Evil One gives his lackey a ring to keep in contact. The lackey also mentions a bargain, but he gets lightning thrown his way for bringing it up.
Kevin and Lana are in a meeting with the king that was mentioned earlier, King Melfis. Melfis dresses like an Elvis impersonator and has a blue head, but his neck and hands are coloured white. You may remember him from "Germ Wars." The first words out of his mouth are “I've had it with those blasted pointy-nosed dwarves. We'll never have any peace until we drive them off Faxanadu once and for all.” An important note: while most people on Faxanadu have blue skin, there are two distinct races, the Dwarves who have big and kind of pointy noses, and the Elves who have pointy ears. Melfis here is the king of the Elves, obviously. And though he does have pointy ears his most distinguishing feature is his big chin complete with five o' clock shadow. Lana wants to know what's up with all the Dwarf hate, so Melfis tells her. Long ago an Elf wizard made a crystal with power over the four elements. We see a shot of people being happy, and oddly enough none of them have blue skin. It seems the Dwarves stole the crystal, then lost it. Kevin wants to help find the crystal and Elfis pulls out a fragment of said crystal, apparently left behind when it was lost. He decides to consult a guru to try and find the other pieces. So if he's had the piece the whole time, why did he wait until Kevin showed up to do anything about it? We see a close up of the crystal piece in the guru's white hand, then pull out to see the guru's hand and the rest of him are all blue. There is very little consistency when it comes to skin colour in this episode. The guru mentions a misty place and a ruby ring that will move mountains. Then a guard comes rushing in and says that some Dwarves have been spotted heading for the World Tree. Also, this guy is white instead of blue. Like I said, no consistency with skin colour.
Elsewhere, Simon is planning on picking a flower for Lana. However, as soon as he pulls it out of the ground it somehow sets off a trap and causes someone nearby to get caught in a bag and hung up by a tree. A pair of Dwarves show up, a short stout one and a tall skinny one. I should point out that the short fat one is the guy we saw talking to the Evil One earlier. They cut the person down and she falls right into Simon's arms. She turns out to be Dwarfine, queen of the Dwarves, and she has already taken a liking to Simon, who reciprocates. She agrees to show the three to a warp zone, but has to make one stop first. Then she gets into a litter
and is carried off by her subjects.
We see the queen's other stop, as she meets with a shady looking fellow who is dressed in robes that are clearly too big for him. Seems they had an agreement, he'd sell her a key for 5000 gold pieces. Thing is, as soon as he sees the money he doubles the price. Elfis and the rest of the N Team show up and Elfis is none too pleased to see the Dwarves. Seeing that a fight's brewing the shady guy decides “screw it” and swaps the key for the bag of gold before getting out of there. Kevin tells Simon and the rest the tale about how the Dwarves stole the crystal, but Dwarfine calls shenanigans and says it was the Elves who stole the crystal from the Dwarves. The two rulers start arguing and order their minions to ready their weapons. In the Elves' case they take out what are basically lacrosse sticks and plant them in the ground so they can use them like catapults. The Dwarves just draw slingshots. Both parties load up their weapons with mud and let fly. There's a bunch of things thrown around and things being shot out of the air, but Dwarfine and her posse run across a rickety rope bridge to the World Tree while the others chase after her. The bridge, of course, has no railing. With everyone on the bridge at once it starts to shake and the key flies out of Dawrfine's hand and into a mud puddle on the other side.
All the extra weight on the bridge causes it to start giving way, so Kevin uses his power pad to jump in the air and shoot a stalagmite that's sticking out of the cliff on the other side, causing it to tumble off the ledge and fall upside-down, landing on top of one of the rope posts and burying it in the ground. In a nice bit of animation we can actually see Kid Icarus helping Lana cross the rickety bridge, showing that not everyone has completely lost their common decency. Dwarfine reaches the other side, but Kevin is already there and grabs the key first. Kevin and Team Elf use the key to enter the World Tree through a big set of wood doors, and close the door in Simon's face, literally. After having a brainstorm, Mega Man asks for some gold coins from Dwarfine and melts them down, using the imprint in the mud to form another key. Using that, Team Dwarf enters the World Tree as well. We see the shady guy from earlier watching all this and he transforms into the Evil One, saying he wants revenge on both Elf and Dwarf for ousting him from the World Tree.
Inside the door, team Dwarf looks down at what seems to be a level from the original Donkey Kong, before getting attacked by a squid-headed monster with tentacles for arms. We saw this same guy back in “Germ Wars.” Well, not the EXACT same guy. Probably. Simon kills it with his whip, turning it into gold coins, which the short Dwarf lunges after. Then they start go down the stairs. Up ahead, Team Elf has arrived in Mist Town, which seems to be built on the branches of the World Tree. How they got onto the branches of a tree by going DOWN I don't know. It's also very misty, as Lana points out. Kevin sees a guy come flying out of a small building and decides that it's the best place to start looking for the ruby ring.
Inside is a typical tough guy bar. The King's stooges make a point of announcing him, but the locals tell him to get lost. When Kevin mentions a ruby ring, an Elf with an eye-patch approaches them and says he's got it. When Melfis asks where he got it, he says he stole it. Kevin and eye-patch quickly agree to settle this by a challenge. Kevin bets his zapper and the Elf bets the ruby ring. The barkeep opens a door leading outside and we see an obstacle course. Now, because this takes place on the branches of the World Tree it's all suspended on large branches over what is an enormous drop.
As the race begins we get our montage for this episode, “Megamove.” Unlike every other time it's popped up till now, this is not an instrumental version. Instead today it comes complete with lyrics and isn't replacing another song. Truth be told it's not that bad of a tune, it's just a shame it was used to constantly overwrite other music. After some shenanigans on a set of ropes, Kevin's opponent falls and Kevin ends up catching him with his legs. In the next shot we see him dragging his beaten foe back into the bar. Just as Kevin is about to take the ring, Team Dwarf arrives and Simon pulls out a vacuum from his backpack, which then sucks up everything in the bar, including the ring. Eye-patch's clothes also get sucked up. Duke hops on the vacuum bag, causing it to come loose and somehow fly about the room like a deflating balloon. Kid Icarus shoots the bag with an arrow, causing the contents to explode all over the place. Kevin is about to snag the ring, but Lana grabs it first, saying that she's going to get the crystal to put an end to all the fighting.
Outside, Lana is holding the ring as it glows like a red flashlight. They come across a boulder covering the entrance to a cave and the ring moves it out of the way. Dwarfine and her lackeys rush by, bumping into Lana and causing her to drop the boulder. It nearly rolls over Simon and the others, but she's able to stop it in time. Inside the cave Elfis and Dwarfine come across the crystal. Each grabs onto it and start a tug-of-war. Oddly, the piece Elfis had before looks like it's about one quarter of the actual crystal, but this thing appears to be whole. The crystal is basically a four point star with a little icon for one of the four elements on each point. During the argument, a figure steps out and introduces himself as Dwelf. He's the guy who made the crystal and he's half-elf/half-dwarf, and he has both the nose and ears to prove it. Lana and the N Team show up, apparently out of thin air. Lana questions Dwelf about his theft of the crystal. Dwelf says he took it and hid it when the Elves and Dwarves started fighting over it. As Elfis and Dwarfine struggle, the crystal eventually ends up in the hands of the short dwarf. He refuses to hand back the crystal and his ring projects the Evil One's voice. This causes the Elf and Dwarf lackeys to jump onto each other and shout “It's the Evil One!” That's the only time he's ever named in the episode and you wouldn't even know that's his real name unless you were familiar with the game. The dwarf runs off with the ancient artifact of ultimate power, and no one bothers trying to stop him. As he leaves, the exit he took conveniently caves in on itself so Dwelf has to lead them out another way.
Outside, the Evil One is having fun with his new toy. He causes a whirlwind, and the good guys walk out onto a tree branch that quickly gets broken off by the heavy winds, though everyone lands safely. The Evil One covers the group in a pile of snow, but Mega Man is able to melt it all away easily. For his next trick, the Evil One uses the crystal to crate a huge chasm. Kevin tries shooting the Evil One, but he counters with a pillar of flame that melts a boulder and knocks Kevin on his rear. Kevin's zapper stops working, and just as the Evil One is about to finish him off, Simon uses his whip to entangle the Evil One and knock him over. The crystal goes skidding along the ground and Elfis and Dwarfine go after it. Another chasm opens up and Melfis is left hanging for his life. Dwarfine is left to chose whether to grab the crystal or save Melfis. For whatever reason she decides to save Melfis and lets the crystal fall into the ravine where it explodes. Not sure why it explodes, but it does.
His plan foiled, the Evil One flies off saying “You haven't seen the last of me!” though he never makes another appearance after this, so this is indeed the last we see of him. The traitor dwarf appears out of nowhere and begs for forgiveness. He says the Evil One would destroy all of them if he didn't help him. But his plan was to use the crystal to destroy everyone... And he didn't have the power to destroy everyone without the crystal, so you're full of crap man. Dwarfine just tells him not to let it happen again. Elfis and Dwarfine agree that it was selfish of each of them to want the crystal all to themselves. Lana then makes Kevin and Simon apologize to each other for their own pig-headedness this episode. Unfortunately, when Lana asks for directions to the warp home, both the Elves and Dwarves start to fight over who gets to escort her there. They start throwing mud at each other while Dwelf and the N Team look on disapprovingly. Then Simon gets hit in the face with a clump of mud.
Recycled Koopa
It's garbage day at Kastle Koopa. We see Kootie Pie, Bully, Bigmouth, Hip and Hop get told that they have to clean up a pile of trash or they “Don't get to do anything mean for a whole week.” Bully hops onto a hammock and tells the others to get to work. Bigmouth goes on a diatribe about how he's going to tattle on Bully, whilst Kootie Pie picks up a can and proclaims that she broke a nail. Bully and Kootie Pie throw trash at each other for a bit, but when Koopa yells at them from off-screen Bully grabs an armful of junk and tosses it down a warp pipe.
We cut to Toadstool's castle where all our protagonists are walking through the garden. A warp pipe hanging above them starts spewing garbage everywhere. So that means that there is a warp pipe leading directly from Toadstool's garden to Kastle Koopa, and no one ever uses it. Mario picks up a small trophy of Koopa that reads “World's Repulsivest Reptile,” so it's pretty obvious where the trash is coming from. Luigi wishes they could wave a wand and make the garbage go away, so Mario decides to do just that, after stealing one of the Koopa Kids' wands.
Back at Kastle Koopa, Koopa is observing his offspring's handiwork. Bigmouth and Kootie Pie are arguing about who did the most work, when the good guys hop out of the warp pipe, in plain sight of the Koopa congregation. A chase breaks out and our heroes all hide behind a suit of armour clearly designed for a koopa. The Koopas run past once in one direction, then run by again going the other way. Mario snags a wand from Hip as they make their second pass. They rush back outside and Toadstool orders everyone to find a leaf, and because all the blocks in this show where manufactured by Convenient Power-ups Incorporated they all, of course, wind up with raccoon powers and fly away, though Koopa says he'll get them with his Doomship.
In the skies above the Mushroom Kingdom, our heroes are being pursued by said Doomship and are being bombarded by bullet bills and bob-ombs, one of which explodes on top of Luigi and singes his tail. Despite having a swarm of para-goombas thrown at them, Mario and company make it to the castle garden and Mario uses the wand to make all the trash form into a big ball of garbage. Unfortunately, the wand also gets sucked in as well. Once complete, the garbage ball lands on top of the Doomship and it falls out of the sky. The very next shot however shows the Doomship crashing right in front of Kastle Koopa, giving the middle finger to geography in the process. Bigmouth remarks on how cool all the neat stuff is and points out that they used to have a lot of neat stuff just like this until they threw it out. Koopa just yells at his kids to get rid of it again.
Given that the Koopas have been defeated and the princess's garbage problem has been solved you may think this is the end of the episode. However, we're not even at the halfway point yet. The brothers and Toadstool seem to realize this as well, causing Luigi to grab a periscope from a box Toad is carrying for no explained reason. He gives it to Mario, who uses it to observe the Koopas through the warp pipe from before. He sees a bunch of sledge brothers dumping box after box of garbage down another warp pipe while Bully, Kootie Pie and Bigmouth sit back and watch. Hip and Hop seem to have wandered out of the episode. Toadstool tells the brothers to get out there and stop all the garbage dumping, so in the very next shot the two of them are hidden amongst the garbage pile and observing the operation. They both hide inside boxes of trash which the sledge brothers pick up and dump down the pipe. The pair land in the middle of a road and after a quick look around they quickly realize they're back in Brooklyn. With trash can lids as makeshift umbrellas they observe the chaos caused by garbage falling from the sky. This also means that somewhere in the sky above Brooklyn there's a warp pipe that no one has ever noticed before.
Mario and Luigi see a waggling green tail around a corner and rush over to confront Koopa. Funny thing though, the tail belongs to a reptile in a suit, who puts his arms out in front of him and walks down the street chanting “Koooopa.” Luigi concludes that the garbage is turning people into zombies that look exactly like Koopa. Sure enough, we see a cabbie pick up a piece of litter and immediately turn into a skinnier version of Koopa. I was always confused about how this was happening as a kid, but looking back on it I'd say that the magic from Hip's wand got mixed in with the garbage to create refuse that turns people into reptile zombies. At least you've got to give them points for originality, because I've never seen that as the premise to an episode of anything else.
Mario does what any concerned citizen would do, go to City Hall and complain to the mayor. Of course Brooklyn isn't a city itself, it's part of a city called New York, and the city hall for New York is in Manhattan, a fact that seems to have eluded the writers. At said City Hall the brothers meet the mayor, but he's half transformed into a lizard and exclaims “Nobody'll re-elect me like this. Not even in New York!” Then he fully transforms and joins a crowd of people outside all chanting “Koooopa” and walking with their arms out in front of them. Mario and Luigi begin picking up garbage with their plungers, which work like vacuum cleaners now. Um, that's not how plungers work guys.
Up above in his Doomship, Koopa and his kids are pleased about all this. Bigmouth starts talking again and Koopa shoves a bucket on his head to shut him up. Other than that things are going good. Although last we saw Bully and the others they were back at the castle overseeing the dumping. When did they move here? Koopa attaches a banner to the back of the ship listing the Marios as wanted men. He also dumps a bunch of bob-ombs and other enemies overboard to help. The brothers are soon spotted and an angry, smelly, brainwashed crowd soon chases after them.
As the Mario Brothers run for their lives, we get our montage for the episode set to “Stink City USA.” After a long and especially frantic chase through subways and sewers, the brothers finally ditch their scaly adversaries by hiding in a pile of garbage. One small problem though: when Mario crawls out of the muck he has a tail. Not sure why Luigi doesn't have one, since they were in the same pile of garbage for the same period of time.
Anchored at the Statue of Liberty, Koopa's Doomship is getting prepped to fire more garbage, while Koopa mentions his intention to conquer Manhattan, Queens and the Bronx. A bunch of seagulls are fired at and they turn into para-goombas. Another shot into the water turns some fish into cheep-cheeps. Below, Mario and Luigi are working on some kind of large motor vehicle when a bunch of garbage lands on Mario. Luigi somehow doesn't notice this, but keeps working. When he does turn to Mario, he's almost completely turned into a Koopa look-a-like. Mario then looses it and grabs Luigi. Luigi breaks free and climbs into the machine they built, a huge tank-sized vehicle with a giant vacuum in front that sucks up garbage as it drives along and spits out “recycled” materials. And that's it. In about ten seconds flat all the garbage is cleaned up and everything is back to normal. That was incredibly easy to deal with. Like way, way too easy. Koopa's still in the sky, shooting garbage though, so Mario and Luigi get in the trash machine, which sprouts a propeller because why not, and chases after the Doomship. Then the Statue of Liberty turns to the camera and says, “Those Mario brothers are super!”
Both “True Colors” and “Feud of Faxanadu” feature themes of prejudice. In one case this prejudice cropped up in an afternoon, while in the other case it had clearly been going on for years, if not centuries. I'd like to say the events of “True Colors” couldn't happen in real life, but with human nature being what it is, who knows? “Recycled Koopa” probably has the most dire situation in any episode. An entire city's worth of people, including Mario, have all been turned into Koopa-looking zombies. It's such a shame that the episode wraps up at warp speed, destroying any sense of tension.
