When we last left off the movie, we were introduced to some conflicts that ended in the span of a few minutes. Speaking of endings...
Gus and Buckybuster pop by, and they happen to be well groomed too. They apologize for being jerks and Gus gives Baker the music box back. Agnes pops by and instantly falls in love with Gus. No, seriously. She decides to stay upon seeing Gus and even asks if there’s a Mrs. Holder. And guess who decides to hammer in the Last-Minute Hookup. You guessed it! Our old pal, Randy Travis! He tells us that Aunt Agnes got her reward and Buckybuster got his just desserts. Wait, shouldn’t it be the other way around? Aunt Agnes, while she has good intentions, took rather questionable actions to get what she wanted, while Buckybuster, while a jerk the entire film, began to redeem himself. If anything, Aunt Agnes should get some form of punishment for attempting to get Billy, while Buckybuster should be rewarded for his redemption. But screw it, he gets a mom, Gus gets a wife, Agnes gets a child, they all stop being jerks, everyone wins!
So what now? All the conflicts are wrapped up neatly in a tiny ball and we can finally end this movie. No, wait, we need some form of epilogue, so let’s timeskip to a few years Christmases later where Randy has married Emily. No... Wait. Riiiiiight... Okay then, as pointed out by arcadiarika, Randy Travis is Billy in his adult years. Sorry, just he outright said “Emily and I got married” like people knew he was Billy. If you hadn’t played the guessing game, this might be a Shocking Swerve. Thankfully though, this is an obvious trope. {chug} Anyways, we then see Annabelle, who is an old cow now. Wait... What happened to the other farm animals? No, really? She’s the only animal in the barn now. Sure, Billy Travis said that he’s checking on the animals but we need to see the animals. Fridge Horror is usually, but not always, the result of laziness, in which someone had noticed something the filmmakers overlooked. In this case, the artists forgot to add the other barn animals. Add the fact that many years Christmases had passed and the fact that we never see anyone other than Billy, Emily, and Annabelle and you get this little Fridge Horror: EVERYONE THAT WASN’T BILLY, EMILY, OR ANNABELLE DIED! My God! And you know what? We’re not done yet!
So, we see that Emily is all grown up and that she sorta guesses that animals could talk, but she said it in a way that makes it sarcastic. “It’s as if those animals could talk.” Also, I noticed just how soulless Billy’s eyes looked. Seriously, look at them, they are Dull Eyes of Unhappiness. Could he be a yandere too? Well, to be thankful, his eyes do get less soulless. So anyway, Billy places the wooden antlers on Annabelle and asks if she remembers when they’re kids. Yeah, we can just rewind to about a minute ago!
So later that night, Billy heard a bump in the night and thinks Annabelle has escaped. He gets dressed to go find her. I don’t really know what Annabelle is doing walking out in the freezing cold. Maybe she was geassed, maybe her name was written in the Death Note, I clearly have no clue. Magic Sprinkle Dust must be to blame. So Annabelle takes a nasty fall, and by nasty fall I mean she trips over a small wooden branch and that’s enough for her to fall over and nearly die. AND GUESS WHO COMES TO SAVE THE DAY? SANTA!
I wonder what he could be doing here, given how all the barn animals save Annabelle are apparently dead and Annabelle can’t speak again apparently. Well, apparently he was looking all over for Annabelle. Uh... You do realize she’s still at the bloody barn her whole life, right? I mean, it’s not that hard to find her. He then tells her that he hasn’t forgotten what she did for Billy years ago and that she didn’t expect anything in return. Well... considering that she wanted to hear Billy speak in return... Actually, that’s a fun theory: Billy is Kyousuke, Annabelle is Sayaka, and Emily is Hitomi. Guess this makes Santa Kyubey. So Santa decides that he’s gonna turn Annabelle into a reindeer since Billy wished for her to become one. All while that dream sequence song is playing in the background. I do like these sort of reprises, since it’s just that thematic and makes it that much more of a leitmotif. So he uses magic sprinkle dust to do the deed, which not only reduces Annabelle’s age by a lot, but also restores her voice... WHY? Isn’t the condition of her wish being that she can’t talk forever? What’s this now? So what’s the exchange for Billy’s wish? Annabelle leaving him forever, that’s what. Yes, I am not making this up. And he’s cool with it. Oh, and she’s in front of the reindeer. Hey, Santa, whatever happened to that other reindeer? You know, that one with the giant ass glowing nose that can help you get through snowstorms? The one who you always put in front just because of that nose? Screw it, it’s official: This is a prequel to Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer. She’s either the parent of Rudolph or Clarice. So we end this childhood classic with Billy wishing us a merry Christmas and gives us some Book Ends on how Christmas is tailor made for wishes. Now there’s something in my eye.
KAMEN RIDE: DIEND!
And that was Annabelle’s Wish. What did I think of it? Well... It’s pretty bland. It’s a fun treat, but it’s a bland 90’s kids film that doesn’t hold up.
So what’s good about it? Well, first is the narrator. They picked a good person to play the voice of the narrator as he perfectly captures the essence of the movie. When he isn’t spelling out the story for us, he does a good job talking about the theme of the story. The jokes, while most are just childish or references for the sake of reference, do have some laughter to have, especially the line “I wanted to be a famous dog like Lassie or Old Yeller... Well, maybe not Old Yeller.” And I will get into some of the characters soon, but first let’s talk about the bad things.
Like I said before, the narrator keeps spelling the story out, even when the narrative is just perfect without it. Take for example the scene where Star explains that Annabelle gave up her voice. That was a pretty impactful moment that would have been ruined if Randy blabbed about it before. Nearly everyone is generic. You have the kid protagonist, you have the childhood friend, you have the bullies, you have the rich evil aunt. And when they aren’t generic, they’re usually underdeveloped, like the barn animals who get just a handful of lines, or Gus whose backstory has to be pieced together in order to get, or even Buckybuster, who was so bland I simply made the two Holder Boys into one person. In fact...
Gus and Agnes are just jerks for the sake of having antagonists. After their conflicts are resolved with quick haste, they instantly become goody goods. They do realize you can have a conflict without directly having a jerkass in the film, right? In fact, some of the My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic episodes have no antagonist and it’s simply just something happens and the Mane Six have to solve it someway. The sad part is that the antagonists are more fun characters than the main characters. Let’s start with Gus. I’ve stated before how his backstory is the subtlest of them all, being puzzle pieces that you have to piece together. He’s an interesting character this way, since you want to know just why he’s a jerk, especially with how Randy said that “you’d think they hate Christmas.”
Then there’s Agnes, who is my favourite character. Why? Well, to put it simply, she’s the rich aunt who wants the main character just for the sake of having a child to celebrate Christmas with. No, it’s not so that she can get money from a will, or any generic rich evil aunt trope, she just wants a child to celebrate Christmas with. We have no reason why, other than an excuse to fill a missing hole in her, and considering the lengths she’s going to just to get this specific child, a better explanation would be given. It’s mentioned that she experienced loss in the form of her dead brother, but asides from that one line, that was it. It makes you wonder what caused her to do these things for Billy. Whereas Gus has a backstory to glue together, Agnes has none, but it’s that sense of mystery that makes the viewer wonder what her life was like. Is she a lonely person wanting to find anything to reignite a light in her life like Blanche? Is she just a snooty bitch who wants to be a showoff? Is she a yandere? We may never know, but that is what makes her a good character. We can fill in the holes and make her even more fun.
Personally, check this movie out if you want some nostalgia. If you’re looking for a film with substance, then give this movie a pass. If you’re looking for a dumb mockable kids film for Christmas, you couldn’t have picked a better movie than this.
This is Psyga315 saying Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
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