AUTHOR'S NOTE: This installment will be a lot longer than usual, because of the focus on both plot and critiquing. I do apologize for the quality of it!
Rika: Welcome back!
Previously, we began the Turboranger "tribute", more shipping occurred, and so did more repetition.
Tranza: ...if you make it through all those chapters, it would truly be remarkable.
Rika: Yeah...I'm almost done with this, Tranza. (she says it in a respectable tone) After this, we'd have five chapters left...I'm gonna end it with the Jetman "tribute". Quite fitting to end it there, no?
(Tranza is...quite confused, but he slightly nods)
And once we're done, you think you can help me kick Radiguet's ass, if the All-Stars don't make it in time?
Tranza: ...are you sure?! But...would you t-turn me into a—
Rika: ...
Do I look like I have the power to utterly break your mind? Stupid-ass fanfic aside?
Tranza: ...if worst does indeed come to worst, then I'll join you...
(he then gives Rika the Mobirate)
Here. Radiguet took it after the fight, and he entrusted me with it...
Rika: ...thanks. (she takes it and pockets it)
Tranza: But otherwise, you have nothing to fear. The other All-Stars will arrive shortly.
Rika: You think Radiguet won't pull any more tricks?
Tranza: Rika...it's Radiguet. I wouldn't be surprised if he did.
Rika: ...damn.
(Mao then arrives at the final dungeon, the Thunder Dungeon. Her heart is racing...)
Mao: <If I make it...I'll need to decide on what to do. If I have to face Radiguet, I'll do so. Otherwise, I will need to rejoin the All-Stars and explain what's going on.>
(she begins her long trek. This time, it's 10 floors, all increasing in difficulty as time goes on...)
(with Radiguet...)
(The Emperor himself finds an unconscious and unmorphed Dan on the ground, along with Darkuroi's stone. Even with a throbbing headache over the stupidity of the story, Radiguet picks the actor up and places him in the tube, surrounding him with black liquid)
Tori: ...oh, God.
Mako: D-Dan...?
Radiguet: Soon...as soon as Mao's captured, it'll be time for Part 2 of the master plan. Let's just say that all six of you will be the stars.
Xander: And what if we refuse?
Radiguet: I don't think there's going to be any refusing, Xander.
(everyone then knows what's possibly going to go down, and the Emperor knows it)
Sean: ...I knew it. You're going to make us the "entertainment". Even if I die, Radiguet, I have a simple request for you.
Radiguet: And what is that?
Sean: Go fuck yourself.
(Radiguet smirks)
Radiguet: Ah. How original, underactor.
(but before Sean can say how unoriginal the insult is, Radiguet then has the tubes pump a sleeping potion, knocking him out...and he then uses the same potion on the rest of the captured Scouts)
...ah. Finally, some peace and quiet. Now to watch Mao, and then, I'll alert Rika. Let her watch the upcoming battle!
(he then pauses as he rubs his head)
<...I will admit this. The Scouts were right all along. That story was just...terrible! Seriously...that Radiguet has no backbone, no lust for power! Just lust over something completely ridiculous!>
<...>
<No matter...soon, they will all meet their demise, anyway.>
Rika: ...
(she sighs)
So let's continue on with...
Chapter 30: Turbo Flower Power
We begin the Author's Note, and I'm so skipping that since it's shit everyone knows. (And one ChrisX brought up.) So we'll just focus on what's perhaps the dumbest first paragraph.
- "In the last episode, the Turborangers were trapped in a pocket dimension by the wicked Bloom Bouma. It seems the have nowhere to go."
That's because they're trapped in a pocket dimension. Seriously, I...
(Rika headdesks)
As the trapped Turborangers face off against some Mooks, suddenly, the ghosts of the three generals show up. And because they are spectral, of course the attacks don't do shit against them!
Just shoot the source, that would work perfectly!
After the bit of them being Captains Obvious, we go back to the Violent Demon Palace, and we find out that the "pocket dimension" is the Turborangers facing their greatest fears.
...didn't we have that sort of plot before? In other fucking stories?
Regardless, Ragorn is praising the work, but...he finds other means to insult Zulten. Even though...he hasn't insulted them, or done something actually stupid, or something. I dunno, it's getting rather...irritating. This causes Zulten to presumably think, "screw this, I'm outta here", and leave.
...yeah, I'd feel the same way, too, Zulten. I'd feel the same way, too.
(in the Thunder Dungeon...)
(as Mao makes it to Level 2, lightning strikes all around her)
Mao: W-what?!
(then Kithunder appears, and she laughs)
Kithunder: Welcome to the final stage! How are you enjoying your friends' demise?
Mao: ...
(she glares at Kithunder in response)
<She's really tempting me to just...>
Kithunder: Oh? Don't wanna speak? Very well! But...I won't fight you.
(Mao raises an eyebrow in response)
...no. Instead, I'll use everything I got to slow you down...and then have Radiguet find you!
Mao: ...not a chance. Just how would you use everything?
Kithunder: You'll see!
(she then disappears, and then...)
(mid-level lightning is crashing around Mao)
Mao: F-fuck! (she tries to outrun the lightning, and at times, she barely makes it...)
Rika: Back to Leo, as he shows up to give Tommy's team a tracking device, guess who also helps out? Billy and Ranru, of course! Because...I don't fucking know!
...oh, they just do lovey-dovey shit. Then what was the point of that?! Dear God, even in something like this...do you have to use filler? I mean, the Turborangers could be dying, and they still likely would talk about stupid shit.
...
(Rika sighs)
Back to S!Takeru and Mako, Kiros and Shizuka are made to retreat. And, somehow, the latter two know about the USSPRA's strategies to avert "divide-and-conquer". Leo's team rejoins the two Shinkengers, and they decide to leave everything to the "heroes".
...
(Rika just blinks in confusion)
So...did they give the machine offscreen, or...?
Regardless, the scouts teleport back to the New Skybase. NEXT!
Back to the pocket dimension, the Turborangers are getting their asses kicked. Also...
- Riki: "This is madness."
...
Do I have to do this? I mean, I don't want to make an easy joke! I mean, shit, I've already done one half-baked one before!
No? Well, good!
(Rika drinks)
Jarmin whips the team, and Rehda plays the flute, depressing the Turborangers more. And all this would cause the Melon Bombs to mature more and explode.
...are we done yet?
(in the sixth floor, after dodging through a load of lightning bolts, Mao pants, until she sees a huge army of electrified soldiers)
Mao: Oh, God...
...
(she shakes her head)
N-no! I gotta do this!
(she prepares her Gokai Gun and starts shooting. As she does, the soldiers shoot her back)
Kithunder: (offscreen) You think you can get past through the soldiers? You're wrong! For as long as I can make them, I can finish you off!
Mao: (...)
(Think, Mao...what is Kithunder even doing? You do have a chance to beat her somehow!)
(she continues to strike at the soldiers, even when they're wearing her down)
Rika: So Tommy's team heads to the city, where they encounter more vines and someone (this time Tsubasa) stating the friggin' obvious. Also, Zulten.
...you know the drill by now. Zulten tries to fire his slingshot, but he always misses. Uhhhh...
(Rika gives a "the fuck?" expression)
Tommy just knows what to do, and what does he do? Taking the weakness to their advantage, to the point where Zulten shot at where Bloom Bouma was really hiding. And it frees the Turborangers.
...trust me, this is not the most confusing (and stupid) part. Why?
Because, some-fucking-how, the group still thinks that the Turborangers are still trapped in there. Uh...did the narration not say that the stupidity freed them? Regardless, they think they would need a power source to kill Bloom Bouma and really free their friends.
And get this. You will not believe Justin's plan to do exactly that. Once he demorphs, he thinks that his morpher would mess with Bloom Bouma's mind. How? I have no fucking clue, either.
In the pocket dimension, the Turborangers are nearly defeated (uh...), until Justin talks to them. He somehow knows that they're truly facing a Battle in the Center of Their Minds. Kind of.
...
Wait, I think that's the wrong kind of trope.
Still...
- Haruna: "So this is mostly psychological warfare. We're attacked by our own minds."Riki: (much later) "Woah! So this is a psychological battle. We're not fighting against real people here."
No fucking shit! You know...I'm really thinking that this chapter can get any worse. If it isn't the dumbass repetition, then it's what happens next.
What am I talking about? As the Turborangers fight against their greatest fears, Justin throws his morpher, which he configured, and Bloom Bouma...swallows it. Somehow. This releases a light, weakening the monster...freeing the Turborangers...and sacrificing the kid's powers.
...you read that right. You just witnessed the stupidest action anyone has ever made. Worse than the old lady saying that there were no such things as monsters in the "wut"-inducing "Trakeena's Revenge" episode. Worse than the times where Winnie and his friends did jack shit against any foes the Turbo Rangers have encountered. Worse than the various times Tommy sacrificed his Zords. Justin has lost his powers. And for what, since it was already stated that the Turborangers were somehow freed?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just to get a shiny new toy at the end.
...
(Rika does a bit of Sarcastic Clapping)
Congratulations. And I just know how to celebrate it. Gentlemen, take it away.
Linkara/Bennett the Sage: STUPID! YOU ARE MADE OF STUPID!!
Rika: What can I say about that?!
(Rika then takes a very long drink)
(at Level 8, Mao has defeated several of the soldiers. She sighs)
Mao: ...damn. I didn't think I'd make it, the way they were just shooting at me!
(just when she's able to catch her breath, more powerful soldiers, ones wielding battleaxes and great-swords, arrive)
Kithunder: If you can beat the soldiers, you will pass...
Mao: ...you've got to be kidding me.
(she uses the same weapons at the soldiers. But little does she know that the more she goes onto the floors...something happens to Kithunder)
(and no, I'm not going to tell you what that "something" is :P)
Soldiers: KILL...KILL...
Mao: <...really?>
(but before she can shoot them, one of the soldiers knock her down with his battleaxe)
Ugh! (lands, and she coughs, trying to figure out another strategy...)
Rika: ...ugh. Do I really have to finish this?
...
Fine.
So after...that bullshit happens, Bloom Bouma becomes pissed that her plan failed. Tommy couldn't believe that Justin sacrified his powers like that. Dude, need I remind you of the times where you sacrificed your Zords? It isn't new!
(Rika rubs her head)
Riki thanks Justin, and...Bloom Bouma decides to attack the team. However, let's cut to the other villains berating Zulten for his failure. And by "berating", I mean "beating the shit out of". Again.
...
(Rika taps her fingers)
The villains...didn't do that to Zulten, right? Even if he is a Dirty Coward?
Anyway...just before Bloom Bouma destroys the "heroes", the villains retreat. Well, that was fuckin' pointless!
Back to the Time Train, the "heroes" are joined by Dr. Dazai, who's impressed with the technologies. Even so, what do they decide? Now that Justin is powerless...(Rika headdesks)...he's allowed to go back to the future. And get this. Are you really ready for this?
The only way to cure the doom flowers, the Melon Bombs, is by using the Hope Flowers. I am dead serious. How did they even come up with the answer? How did they research it?
...
Did I fucking miss something?
(Rika sighs)
I swear to God. This story's driving me even more insane by the minute.
So Justin is tasked to also find his replacement, and—yes—he'll get some new powers soon. See, I told you it was fucking—GAAAAAAAAAAH!!
(Rika just buries her face with her hands, just letting out a cry)
Tranza: ...
<...it's time to find a way out of here. I can't allow this torture to continue!>
(he looks around for an exit)
<Think! There has to be a—>
(he sees something on the wall)
<Aha!>
(he nudges Rika)
Rika.
(Rika looks up, her eyes red from crying)
You want to get out of here?
Rika: Urk...
Tranza: Come with me...I'll lead you through.
Rika: How would you know where we're going?
Tranza: Trust me, Rika. I know what I'm doing. (he takes Rika by the hand) Come on, let's go!
(Rika sniffles, and they head to a wall. They kneel down, and Tranza presses a button...it opens up a secret corridor)
Rika: ...it's almost tempting to just mock the shit out of how cliche it is...but...I don't have the heart. (she wipes her tears)
Tranza: Let's move forward.
(the two head off)
(with Mao, the soldiers are trying to beat her down with their weapons, but she blocks the attacks the best she can. She remains on the defensive, until...)
(With a powerful strain, the soldiers rush at Gokai Yellow, and she's knocked down once more. However, just as soon as the attack happens...the soldiers vanish)
Kithunder: ...that...took long...enough.
(Mao can clearly hear Kithunder panting, and she's starting to see what's going on...)
Mao: <I knew it...I knew it all along. I remember all those moments where some of the monsters were unstable. Perhaps Kithunder is, too?>
Kithunder: Try to survive through this!
(more powerful thunderbolts strike at Mao, and she finds herself running to survive...again)
Mao: <Can this get any more repetitive?!>
(in the tunnel...)
Rika: So...(she flips from a certain All-Star's Twitter page to the place she was reading)...Justin returns to the New Skybase, where Aya finds out about what happened. And, wouldn't you know it, Chiharu has the last pot of Hope Flowers left!
WHAT A TWEEEEEEST!
Get this, too. It turns out that the Hope Flowers are also Aya's favorite flowers, too! God, was Akizuki inspired by M. Night Shyamalan or something? After Justin confirmed the usual, they head to the greenhouse, where Chiharu is still trying to fix the mess.
At this point, you all know the drill. Chiharu's asked to let the Hope Flowers go, and she's so sad about it. (Rika facepalms) God, I hate her sooooooo much already. I'm sorry, but every single time she appears, she just...rubs me the wrong way somehow. If it isn't her absolute bitchiness, it's her sickening Mary Sue tendencies.
...oh, my God, Akizuki might have been inspired by Shyamalan! (shudders)
Buuuuuut...she decides to give the flowers up, sacrificing her joy to save the lives of others. And Aya thinks about whether or not Chiharu's her daughter. Well, she's just as bitchy as you, she's just as sickening as you, and she just so happens to share the same Designated Hero tendencies as you.
GEE, WHAT DO YOU FUCKING THINK, LADY?!
(Tranza tries to quiet Rika down, and she does, as she takes a swig of her sake)
As Souta's chosen to replace Justin, the former takes the Hope Flowers (presumably), and he heads to the Turboranger world. Somehow, Youhei notices that he just looks like him, kind of.
(Rika uses the tablet to compare Souta and Youhei)
...really?
Souta gives the Turborangers the Hope Flowers, and it turns out that the flowers can multiply by themselves over time. Seriously. And they decide to use the bullshit "divide-and-conquer" strategy.
Yeah, whatever the hell happened to "hey, let's split up, gang!"? First, the use of "pun" for "reference", now "divide-and-conquer" for straight-up splitting up. Also, all the usages of "rush" instead of "rushed", or "sudden", or something!
...he really doesn't know what any of those words mean, does he?
Anyway...they decide to split up, and as we see Tommy's team, Masumi plans to hammer out the soil, but there's a problem. Namely, people are trapped in there. They morph, only for Kiros and Shizuka to show up. They're mainly there to do one thing, namely to tell them about how too late they are.
Skipping that, we see the Turborangers ready for battle. Bloom Bouma gets upset when she sees the Hope Flowers, and they begin to multiply, right on schedule. Even then, when she tries to shoot them, the pollen weakens her.
And get this, too. As the flowers multiply, Tommy's team realizes that another pot of Hope Flowers fell into their hands. I am dead serious.
At the lab, Dr. Dazai is amazed to see the amount of flowers blooming. However, there's just one small problem. Namely, as awesome as the flowers are, isn't there just some way to spray them around? Souta has the solution, and that solution's name is the GoGo Gyro. The rest will stay, since there's no need for them to intervene.
(Rika just glances at the audience)
(in the final floor, Mao collapses)
Mao: ...I...made it...(she coughs as she crawls over. From there, she sees a weakened Kithunder, strapped onto a machine...)
...what the?
Kithunder: Impressive so far, Ichimichi.
Mao: You're impressive, yourself. (she laughs as she stands up) I have to admit...I've never seen a bigger coward like you.
Kithunder: What?! So says the person who ran away from my lightning!
Mao: Are you fucking nuts? How about if you face me in an actual fight?
Kithunder: As you wish.
(she creates a huge monster)
Mao: <...you've gotta be kidding—>
(the Lightning Golem tries to stomp on Mao, and the strain of the creation is weakening Kithunder)
<If I can survive, then...!>
(she tries to dodge the golem's attacks, but sometimes, she's getting kicked around. Even when she's weakened herself, this just drives herself to work harder)
Rika: Back to the Turborangers, Bloom Bouma shows her resistance, and she decides right then and there that it's time to blow up the Melon Bombs, much to the team's dismay. Even Yamimaru and Kilika join in, and then...
DEUS EX SOUTA!
Okay, to be fair, it was hinted. But...I dunno, it seems to be really convenient.
Souta sprays the flowers everywhere, which weakens Bloom Bouma more and frees the citizens. Yep, just like that, the Melon Bombs are destroyed. Haruna notices the flower blooming, and Souta leaves.
To make a long fight short, the Turborangers beat the Mooks, and with Haruna's W Stick, Riki's GT Sword, and V Turbo Bazooka, Bloom Bouma is finished. OR IS SHE? Nope, for we have to have another obligatory "make my monster grow" fight. Yamimaru uses the Dark Spider to enlarge Bloom Bouma, causing the Turborangers to summon the Turbo Robo.
...after a lunging punch and High Speed Sword take no effect, the Turborangers have the Turbo Rugger combine to form the Super Turbo Robo. With the Super Mirage Beam, it finishes Bloom Bouma off. Well, that was damn underwhelming!
We get some scenes of Tommy's team helping the Turborangers repair a destroyed garden. Yeah, I have no idea where that came from, either. Tommy gives Kimberly some sakura flowers, and they're not the only ones who are in love. You guessed it, it's Haruna and Riki!
...what the hell is up with these crazy Pink/Red romances throughout this fanfic, anyway? It's, like, overwhelming.
Anyway, the garden manages to be fixed, and Tommy and Riki have a sparring match before the former leaves. We don't really know who wins, but...
- Riki: "I salute your strength Tommy-san."Tommy: "Me too Riki-san."
...I really expect for someone to slip up one day and then say, "hey bitch you look kawaii".
Back to the New Skybase, Tommy decides one thing. Namely, Justin can have one of his five forms. He explains why—one of his counterparts is a kid, Kou. As if we already know. And he guesses that it's why he had the vision. Zordon agrees, and he mentioned that he, too, had the same vision.
...by the way, originally, apparentally, Zordon called Kou a brat. That may sound insane to you, but it makes perfect sense to me. Because...let's just say that Zordon hasn't had his tube filtered in years.
Wait, I realized something. NO, IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE! Yes, Zordon may be a dick at times, but to call someone a brat?
We get another scene of Justin resting for a power transfer. He gets another short vision of Kou. Want to know what it is? "Hi, Justin, you'll be my counterpart soon! Oh, you're already past ten years old? Oh, well. BYYYYYYYYYYYYYE!"
(Rika continues to follow Tranza)
Tranza: We're almost there...
(in the main room of the base, Radiguet realizes that Rika and Tranza are missing)
Radiguet: Such a shame...I wouldn't want to lose Rika too soon. Especially since she was so close to breaking.
(he presses buttons, and something happens to the passageway, not that the fleeing duo even know about it)
(then he notices Kithunder not playing fair, and Mao feebly dodging the attacks)
...soon, I will personally congratulate Mao. And she will be mine...
(he teleports to the area near the Thunder Dungeon)
(with Rika...)
Rika: Back to the U.A.O.E, RINO punishes Kiros and Shizuka for their failures. Again. He thinks about demoting them and just kidnapping Kimberly himself, and they're sent away. And instead of lusting over power, he's...yeah.
...
I don't think I need to retract how fucking disturbing this entire situation is.
Back to the New Skybase, Chiharu is happy to find out that, yes, there are a bunch of Hope Flowers she can plant now. Which begs the question: why the hell didn't they grow more when she already had them? I mean...it would have really helped them a lot! "Last one", my ass.
Helping her out are Yousuke, Tori (who later go to the park for some lovey-dovey times), Sakura, Kimberly, and Jasmine. And love is in the air. Literally. For, you see, Chiharu thinks that Hoji is dating her because...she happens to look like Teresa. As if we already know.
- Jasmine: <"Sakura I wonder when can it get into your head that Cole really likes you…">
OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE! (pants, then takes a long drink)
Yes, kids. Just when you thought this chapter couldn't possibly get any worse, we had to have the obligatory mention of Cole. Even when he's out of the picture!
Sakura asks Jasmine if there's anything wrong, and she denies it. And yes, the former's still stuck between two lovers. Gag me. As for Kimberly, she think-denies the idea of RINO targeting her to be the new queen.
As for Chiharu...not only is love in the air, but she's starting to regain some memories of her past life. She remembers her mom, and she remembers almost dying in a shipwreck until Doggie saved her. Chiharu thinks about telling Aya about the most damn obvious truth, but she denies it. But unknown to her, Ban's going to be the one who'll help her regain her memories.
...even though he's in detention. Don't ask me how the hell he's going to do it.
And so, our chapter finally ends with Ban and Sosuke helping to plant flowers as well. As they're on their good behavior, they would be out in a matter of a week. They swear to not be careless and work on their racing a bit more maturely. What do you want to bet that it'll be broken?
(Rika sighs)
Five chapters left. And the next one is yet another damn filler chapter. This time focusing on Chiharu. Joy!
(in the Thunder Dungeon, Mao is near-defeat)
Mao: <I can't hold on much longer...>
(but then, Kithunder is near-defeat herself)
<It must be done.>
(Mao stands up, preparing her Gokai Gun)
Kithunder: Hah...(pants) You're finished! (she sends her golem to kill Mao)
Mao: Enough! (she wildly shoots at the golem, defeating it and cutting off Kithunder's source...)
Kithunder: W-what?!
(she then feels the energy draining from her, and she screams as she falls. Like her fallen comrades, she leaves a stone behind with the symbol of "lightning" on it. Mao smiles as she demorphs)
Mao: ...it's over. Now...I think it's time to rescue the other Scouts, free Rika, and rejoin the All-Stars!
(as Mao begins to find a portal...she's hit by a lightning bolt, and she falls, too! Radiguet appears, taking the stone)
Radiguet: Oh, you'll rejoin the other Scouts...and it'll be much more than you would think.
(he grabs Mao)
All the Scouts are captured...now it's time to do Part 2 of my plan! And soon, I—no, we—will rule!
(he teleports away)
(in the tunnel, Rika and Tranza see light)
Rika: Is that—?! Oh, my God! We're free! We did it!
(she happily runs out, until...she realizes that, now, she's in a different part of the lair, specificially an empty room with just some screens)
...
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU—
Tranza: Radiguet...
(then a screen turns on, and it's Radiguet. On the floor are the Scouts, all asleep or still unconscious in some way)
Rika: Oh, my God! W-what's going on?!
Radiguet: (he communicates to Rika and Tranza) Hello, Rika. Still breaking from that terrible story?
Rika: Radiguet, what the hell are you doing?
Radiguet: Let's just say that you and Tranza will be the perfect audience for the next stage. For, you see...the Scouts, the ones who led the charge to save you, will be my newest soldiers.
Rika: ...dude, that's bullshit. (she is completely in fear)
Radiguet: ...oh? You don't want to see them fight against the All-Stars? Well, too bad. Because think of it this way. They'll fight for you.
(Rika, still reeling from the image of the fallen allies, just flips Radiguet off)
How original.
(Radiguet prepares the stones, and he activates a spell. The stones glow, and then, he places them into each of the Scout's bodies. To Rika's horror and Tranza's disgust, Mao absorbs Kithunder's elemental stone, Dan absorbs Darkuroi's, Mako absorbs Momortex's, Xander absorbs Midorungle's, Tori absorbs Aocean's, and Sean absorbs Akire's elemental stone. And then...)
(...the souls of all six Scouts become trapped in the stones, once sunken in. As that happens, colorful yet dark energies surround them. Once the spell happens, the monsters are "reborn" into the Scouts, with the latter becoming the formers' new hosts. The scouts wake up, and they bow to Radiguet)
Rika: Oh, my God...! Oh...(she's really shaking)
Radiguet: <Excellent...>
Sean: (in a deeper, demonic voice) Boss...we are ready to serve you once more!
Radiguet: <This will be the end...of not only the Scouts, but the All-Stars! This will drive Rika into the greatest despair!>
What will the All-Stars discover? Will Rika recover from her shock? And what more stupidities will the story commit?
Emergency Signal; Now, Forward! To the next liveblogging of Super Sentai vs. Power Rangers!!
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