Welcome back.
Yes, I did say that it was the end, but...because Thomas updated it one last time, well, I can say that we're actually not done just yet. So, with this, it's time to officially end the liveblog with the utterly fucking predictable final chapter.
BACK TO ACTION!
Jerry and Clarisse return, victorious. They defeated Stalin in what's easily the worst Curb-Stomp Battle ever (okay, it's up there with Lennon's death), and the Tsar and his family are back onto their thrones. Oh, and get this, those fuckers are knighted.
...
Why? No, seriously, why are they rewarded with this shit?
And guess what? Most of the Prayer Warriors return back to their time...with no serious damage, if at all, to the fucking timeline.
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Okay, Thomas. I'll give you a long history lesson that I beat my viewers over the damn head with. On February 1917, Nicholas II abdicated the throne in favor of Mikhail, who also abdicated shortly thereafter. That ended the rule of the Romanovs, and the Bolsheviks were starting to uprise. On July 17, 1918, Nicholas II and nearly his entire fucking family were executed by the Secret Police, the Bolsheviks themselves. Yes, a few like Nicholas' mother, Maria Feodorovna, survived, but that doesn't even mean that there was even a chance for the fucking Romanovs to take back the damn throne.
From 1917 to 1991, the Bolsheviks, later renamed the Communist Party, ruled Russia with, among others, Vladimir Lenin and Josef Stalin, as leaders. As for the Romanovs, when they were dead, their remains wouldn't be found for several decades. Oh, and they did not survive, either; the last to be identified were Alexei and Maria. And in 2000, they were passion bearers instead of martyrs.
Also, he wasn't a saint, either. I'll let everyone else look him up on Wikipedia if they so wish as to why.
Oh, and there was no fucking need to go back in time to stop Communism in the first place.
Ebony states that they must go to Camp Half-Blood and announce the good news about the...um...non-existence of Communism, I guess? Anyway! Here's the thing. Do they not realize that by destroying Communism, so many other fates would have happened...
- A far worse "Satanist" would arrive and destroy Russia.
- Considering how unpopular Nicholas II was, Russia would still be under a poor rule.
- You'd get a Mind Screw as you realize how important Communism was, right or wrong, and you'll fall into a "Groundhog Day" Loop.
- To go to the extreme, some of your friends may not even be born.
And many, many more.
Jerry agrees, and—surprise!—he decides to retire. Yes, after God knows how many chapters of him murdering people, beating everyone over the head with tracts, and lots more unpleasant shit, Jerry decides to simply retire because he has done lots of work with Jesus.
Oh, wait, except that, in the Author's Note, he heads to Africa to teach poor children about the ways of God. And I would presume that a lion eats him.
Too evil?
Oh, and guess what? Ebony will retire, too, for the same reasons! But she'll give guidance to those who need it. And presumably, she'll still kill to those who don't.
Yes, you read that right. Evil comment aside, Jerry and Ebony get away with fucking murder, and they don't get their damn comeuppance. Holy shit.
The fucking story finally ends with the retired Prayer Warriors heading to Kansas, their adventures now over. And they all (except for Grover and Clarisse, for they have to rescue Percy Jackson) lived happily ever after.
Until Prayer Warriors!Rika, back from the dead, kills the fuckwad murderers in a blaze of glory, teaching everyone that everyone is loved. With subtlety.
...yes, I know that the last paragraph didn't end like that, but for fuck's sake, it should.
And so, that's the end of Threat of Satanic Communism. As mentioned before, the story's still shit. I don't need to explain more as to why it sucks so hard.
And if, if!, the next story ends up taking a nosedive into the realm of suck, I'll liveblog it. But until then...
This truly has been Rika Liveblogs The Prayer Warriors: Threat of Satanic Communism. Until next time, Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays to all!
Comments
screaming at me to "SPEAD THE WORD." I'd like to think that's proof that this series should qualify as a Brown Note.
Also, Chapter 5 of Evil Gods II is out, and it's taken a nosedive thanks to Ebony not being in the picture for that one. We'll have to see if it stays like that.
of The Prayer Ponies (Thomas Brown's cousin fanfic), but I'll leave The Evil God II for you Arcadiarika.
