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Duel 5: The False Prophet
(sidewalk)
Jonouchi: I'm superstitious and can whip any four kids my own size!
Yugi: Too bad this series keeps putting you up against larger people.
(electrical equipment falls out of the sky)
Lineman: Dang, there goes the East Coast again.
Jonouchi: Even though that junk actually missed me, I'll take this as more evidence of my bad luck.
(classroom)
Anzu: Kokurano over in Class A is a fortuneteller. A lot of girls swear by him. Not that I believe that stuff.
Jonouchi: I must take advantage of this amazing opportunity! Let's go!
(next classroom)
Jonouchi: Whoa! People would be watching. Not cool. I'll pretend Anzu is the one who wanted to come.
Anzu: Smooth you're not.
Attendant Girl: Silence! Our master is running his scam now.
Kokurano: You are incredibly gullible. Which is a word you won't find in the dictionary.
Chubby Girl: That's true! You're the best psychic ever!
Kokurano: Behold my overdressed "mystic" look! Ignore my funny nose.
Kokurano: I am not merely a fortuneteller. I am a true psychic, and I'll prove it! I merely reach into my voluminous cloak which rustles when I move and pull out a piece of paper. Read that!
Jonouchi: "Earthquake today. Also, Jonouchi moves his lips when he reads." Whoa, dead on!
Students: Wow, Kokurano really is psychic!
Anzu: I guess I'll have my fortune told after all.
Kokurano: My powers require me to fondle your hand with my clammy fingers. Also to run my bare foot up your leg.
Yugi: Urge to kill...rising.
Kokurano: Anzu is hot. I'm bored with my old concubines. I know, I'll use my powers and smoove to seduce her!
Kokurano: You will fall in love with a short, chubby guy with a funny nose. He'll really knock you out!
Anzu: Kokurano must mean the fellow with the sexy "let's play a game" voice. I really have the hots for him.
Kokurano: Next!
Jonouchi: Yeah, I'm—
Kokurano: My powers reveal that you are an idiot. Next!
Yugi: Gee, aren't most psychics fake? I mean, unless they have mysterious Egyptian artifacts.
Attendant Girl: You dare doubt Lord Kokurano's powers? Did you not pay attention when he predicted the earthquake?
Yugi: Well, yeah, but SCICOP says that can easily be faked by having a bunch of "predictions" written up ahead of time and only pulling out the one that will make you look good.
Kokurano: To distract from your amazingly accurate guess, I will now predict your death by "falling letters."
(regular classroom)
Jonouchi: That guy's bluffin'!
Anzu: Well, there was the time someone razzed Kokurano, Kokurano predicted a fire at that student's house, and it actually happened three days later!
Jonouchi: What an amazing coincidence.
Yugi: What the heck was Kokurano smoking? "Falling letters?"
(later)
Yugi: I'm really looking forward to some "alone time" with Anzu, like she promised tonight. Hey, there's an overdue library book in my desk. I'd better return it.
Kokurano: Lurk, lurk.
(library)
Yugi: Since this school has a limited budget, I have to reshelf my own book.
(Kokurano pushes over a bookcase, causing a domino effect.)
Yugi: Wait a minute, books have letters in them!
Millenium Puzzle: Flash! Ah-ah!
Yami: Dodged just in time! And now I know Kokurano makes his predictions come true at the expense of his victims!
(classroom)
Anzu: Waiting all alone and vulnerable here....
Kokurano: Yugi won't be coming, but your lovemuffin will.
Anzu: Whatchoo talkin' about, Kokuran—ulgh!
Kokurano: My powers told me to bring along some chloroform. Thanks to my psychic abilities, I can have any girl I want! Provided she's unconscious.
Yami: I'd hold off on that if I were you.
Kokurano: You're alive?
Yami: Let's play a game! If you win, I'll acknowledge your superior psychic abilities!
Anzu: Hey, it's the guy with the sexy voice! Too bad I'm still drugged.
Yami: I'll place this bottle of chloroform on top of several sheets of paper on this desk. We take turns pulling out sheets. The one who makes the bottle fall loses.
Kokurano: Like my later counterpart, Esper Roba, I predict your quick loss!
Yami: Then it's rock-paper-scissors to see who goes first.
(Yami gets rock, Kokurano scissors)
(they each pull out a couple of sheets, leaving the bottle halfway off the desk)
Yami: Can't leave it to chance, Kokurano. In order to win, you'll need to use your psychic abilities to keep the bottle from falling.
Kokurano: Urrgh...Unnnh...Yes, I'm doing it! The bottle is floating in midair! I truly am psychic! Top of the world, Ma!
Yami: Hallucinating something fierce are we? Prove it.
(Kokurano pulls out the paper, and since it's not actually levitating, the bottle falls and breaks)
Yami: It's important to recognize what's imaginary and what you are actually capable of. Sucker. Ooh, you did have your cloak entirely lined with "predictions." I'll just leave you where the other kids can see them and mock you. And now to claim my reward, the lovely Anzu....
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