When Hawk comes back inside, Gort is tied up and being held at swordpoint, Crow and Artie appear to be dead, and the Abbess and two other members of the Holy Order of Terrycloth Robes are in nooses, standing on an unstable stack of tables on the altar.
More acting from Jack Palance, who forces Hawk to disarm and... oh, God, he's disrobing too... Oh, wait, just the vest. Hawk attempts to blind Voltan with the crucifix, causing flashbacks, then reveals that it's been a tiny little switchblade all along. It's somehow balanced for throwing, and he cuts Gort free, then takes three fucking seconds levitating the Dumb Sword into his hand while Gort scores two more kills.
Cue that .[ awesome scene from the trailer. Jack has no illusions about what kind of movie this is. He throws his handy-dandy dagger, but the Tard Sword effortlessly deflects it, leading into...
...horrible fight choreography in slow motion so you can see how bad it is. I love how when Voltan dies, he rolls over so you can see that this is not only Bloodless Carnage, but that Hawk's sword killed him while failing to cut through his tunic.
