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Nothing is Sacred Anymore! Let's MST A Fanfic: LOVE, BULLETS AND IMMORTALITY
Introduction: The Only Sane Part of this Blog
The reason I stopped writing fanfics is because I realized I tended to use mostly original characters and deviate heavily from the prevailing themes of the original work.

I'm not saying that this guy's stuff would be any better if it didn't involve Sonic the Hedgehog (well, okay, that's exactly what I'm saying; I'm not saying it would actually be ''good), but seriously. I don't know how you can look at this and say "I am proud of this, I better post it immediately."
Chapter 1: It Can Only Go Downhill From Here...
I... uhm, this... is going to be quite a ride, isn't it? Can't wait :D

Also, some friendly tips, if you want to link to tropes properly, use double brackets, like [[ExampleTrope so]]. Not a big deal, but I imagine it's easier than using the URL. Also, I'd personally quote more. Your snark is good, make no mistake, and too much quoting is no good, but every once in a while you just have to let the fic speak for itself. Helps the reading flow, to my experience.
slowzombie (edited by: slowzombie)
Thanks for the tip and advice, slowzombie. I'm still new-ish to the way TV Tropes works. I'll try to update daily, so you won't have to wait too long for the next chapter.
Dahnt Warry about it, haaaah?

Also, that's a pretty optimistic schedule, but (unless this thing is ongoing, a trap I have managed to set myself up for :P) you'll be done in a month, which is nice :D
Take it from me, you get tired of daily updates fast.
Chapter 2: Na-na Na-na Na-na Na, I'm Gonna Start A Fight
So, thus far, we have a blonde hedgehog with the same name as the author who basically can't die, acts like an asshole, and whose long-term plans include kidnapping the hero of a long-running franchise and being rewarded with two personal slaves....

So... someone remind me why we're supposed to sympathize with this guy again?

Anyway, yeah, the challenge with fics like this is that everyone's so ridiculously out of character that it doesn't really feel like a fanfic at all, which wouldn't be a problem if... you know, it was actually good.
Yes, well, this is what happens. By 'fics like this', I assume you mean fanfiction that takes place in a setting that is very different in tone compared to the source material? Yeah, it is very hard to have characters react normally in a completely different style or setting.

Oh, the kicker of this story? It has 66 reviews on Most of the ones I read were positive. Positive!
Well, the setting difference isn't much of a problem, really, Alternate Universe things can still work, but I'll preemptively identify this as a "wish fullfillment canonrape" fic, where everything in the setting is warped to make the life of the main character, stand-in for the author that he/she is, as awesome as humanly possible. My own little fanfic liveblogging project, "Light and Dark The Adventures of Dark Yagami" has the very same problem.

Also, on topic of the reviews, it's an unfortunate side-effect of Mary Sue/Marty Stu-laden works, since they revolve around a character that, in addition to being generically tormented and awesome and liked by everyone, is so mindcrushingly bland that pretty much anyone can identify with him or her, something that gives the fic an illusion of being a good story while it, by all even halfway objective standards, is not.

That's a lot of words for a comment, but oh well.
Chapter 3: THE THINGS I DO...
Real class move, there author, having one chapter with LITERALLY NOTHING HAPPENING and then dropping a metric ton of exposition on us in the next. Now, I'm not very familiar with the Sonic universe as such, I watched Sat AM back when it aired, but that's about it, but jeez, this guy just doesn't let up on the Stu. Well, to be fair, he's got one flaw at least, which is to say that he's apparently quite dense. Oh, and he's probably got anger issues, but that's a "flaw" so common in poorly written meatheads that I'm going out on a limb and say it doesn't count.
Slowzombie, you never cease to comment, and I like that - lets me know I'm getting viewed since there's no view count that I can see. This guy is pretty dense, yes, but it could be worse...then again, there's so much more to come from this guy! So it could actually become worse over time!
Also, apologies for this installment, I was very, very annoyed by these chapters. Maybe I'm more of a fan-boy then I thought...I certainly seem to know more than this guy, at least!
What can I say? I feel solidarity towards anyone who decide to subject themselves to awful fanfics :P Also, it's a tricky art, but finding that point where you're annoyed enough to be snarky, but not so much as to loose your cool except when things get REALLY insane is a pretty good idea when dealing with things you know is going to suck.
Hang on a second. If Connor has some kind of issue with his watch, why isn't he wearing a long-sleeved shirt under his jacket? I mean, assuming that this is a Clingy Mac Guffin of some sort and he can't merely take it off, and since he's probably aware that he may have to take his jacket off in a restaurant, you'd think he'd put more effort into covering the thing.

...Yes, I'm aware that what I just stated is only a yocto-sized problem in a zetta-sized mess. I guess I'm just too overloaded to say much else right now. Best of luck, don't blow your brains out, et cetera.
Chapter 4: No Words Can Describe
What... just... what is this? Ok, I have to ask, does this make ANY sense if you're familiar with the Sonic Canon? Because I'm... really not following, so I'm left here, trying to eloquently describe to myself just how much of a Stu our hero(?) is, and I'm not even doing so hot at that.

Also, minor correction. You labeled this chapter as #4, but the chapter in question was #5.
No. It makes no sense of ANY Sonic canon. Also, the chapter numbers refer to the installment number, not the chapter of the fanfiction. Is they were, the last installment would've been called Chapters 3-4, after all.
My brain doesn't work the way it should these days. My bad :/
Chapter 5: So...Very...Dull...
So... we have a pointlessly short chapter with gratuitous lesbian sex, a nursery rhyme that DOESN'T FUCKING RHYME and this reveal. Wow, glad I don't have to read this thing raw :P
I'm not certain if it's a constant typo or not, but you keep spelling the Anti-Sonic's name as "Scrouge". Now, this fic is too much of a complete muck-up to point out constant contrasts with the comics, but I do know that the guy's name is written as "Scourge", which can be defined in the dictionary as 'any means of inflicting severe punishment, suffering, or vengeance'. Just thought you should know.

As for compliments, guys like you and slowzombie deserve medals for reading [CENSORED] like this. I commend you both, and hope that you keep on fighting the good fight.
Chapter 6: In which Conor decides to bitch and moan
This series is good, despite the constant lack of grammar in speech. I also have no idea what's happening in certain paragraphs. Maybe Conor needs to improve his story, just incase anybody else becomes as bewildered as I am. It is extremely out of character, though.
hahahahahahahaha., rOuge aws insultide by connar1 haha i dnt like erh.@
I checked and the guy is re-writing it,and his other stories,but that is besides the point,maybe yu should read the re-write?Just a suggestion,don't feel like you have to. :P
Chapter 7: Join The Dark Side!
Just so all of you n00bs who can't figure out the bleedingly obvious (making you less smart than Omochao) know, the reason why Eggman survived being shot in the stomach several times is not because he is some invincible-superforce, it's because he's a FREAKIN' LARDBALL! Seriously, “he” must be half The Blob! Nope, scratch that, he must BE The Blob! You could ram an elephant into that “man” and he wouldn't feel a thing! This doctor needs to have a check-up! What have you been eating again, Eggy? Eggs! And lots of 'em! Here's an acurate timetable for Eggman's day:

10:00 Wake up after many eggy dreams! 10:01 Figure out how to move my incredible mass off my bed. ~ 12:00 Finally! My egg-shaped-ness comes in handy! I can ROLL out of my bed -before it collapses under my- oh, too late... 12:30 I managed to go through 124 robots before I found one who could lift me up off the ground! Success! 12:45 Eat a very late breakfast, consisting of: Eggs, eggs on eggy toast, with egg sauce and a side of eggs and egg-dipped soldiers, fifty times over. A very healthy special, if I do say so myself! 1:45 Brunch! (Eggs, eggs, eggs, more eggs, Omochao, eggs, chao eggs, ostrich eggs, egg sauce) 2:30 Lunch! It's almost the same as brunch, but Omochao got so annoying (he was constantly telling me about the fact that the eggs are shaped like eggs- my bleedingly obvious torture has backfired on me) that I had to let him go (more or less force him away from me), and so Omochao won't be on the menu now. Yay, egginess! 3:20 Excersize! For my jaw that is! I get to chew on old yolk! 3:50 Plotting! My favorite part of the day! Sonic, Tails, Red-Guy-With-Green-Rock-Obsession, Amy, Shadow, and anyone else of animal apperance who is foolish enough to try to block my weight will suffer the wrath of my newest Egg-Named-Giant-Robot! Mwuhahah! 6:00 Dinner! EEEVVVIIILLL...!! dinner! In otherwords, 3.5 hours worth of stuffing my face with eggs! 9:30 Bedtime (couchtime until the bed is fixed)!
↑That is my time-table. The couch collapses too, don't worry. Feel free to edit/take my Eggman's Timetable, as long as you e-mail me the link and credit Flash Strike for making it. My E-mail:
Chapter 8:
Just to recap, this story began with a Gary-Stu being asked to kidnap one guy, and he's currently staged a coup on the kingdom and has committed a minimum of two murders, neither of which were the original target's boyfriend. Also, the 'Sonamy' and 'Sonaze' promised by the introduction...something tells me that it ain't happening anytime soon, if ever, and that's probably for the best.

Best of luck if you decide to make another update, though if it could mean the complete collapse of all mental functions, we won't think any less of you for stopping now. Probably.
I don't know why you're putting yourself through this, but keep up the good work.
Chapter 11: The End is Approaching...
Musical chapters never work in fan fiction. Why don't people remember this?
Chapter 12: Where I explode.
Why does this story exist? Kudos for trucking through this, you are a braver man than I.
Job Well Done
This story is the clusterest of fucks. No matter how bad it gets, at least you can rest easy knowing that when this ends, you never have to read this again.
Four Chapters in One
Just a little longer, and the nightmare can end!
The end of the fan fic. FINALLY.
This story was pure shit. I wouldn't wish this upon anyone.
GIG (edited by: GIG)
Alas, our poor braincells; we knew them well...

Shakespearian allusions aside, congratulations are in order for surviving this complete mess of a story. Sure, a look at a horrid story tends to get more interest than reviewing a decent one, but it definitely took a strong will to get through this mess. Best of luck for your next project, bub!
Thank you to all of my readers! Hopefully you will think no less of me for not having an opinion at the end - as in, a paragraph or 2 detailing my thoughts and the like, that will come with my next story MS Ting.

My next one will be much shorter, but much more painful for me to go through, you can probably guess where I'm going with this...until next time!
BONUS: A more personal fan-fiction and my final notes.
Well, that was...interesting. Not nearly as bad as Conor's work, nor as awful as other first attempts at fiction, but I have no doubt that you've come a long way from this. Oddly enough, I think the thing that annoyed me the most was the improper use of brackets, usually when the information contained within would have been better off as a full-fledged sentence. But, as you've done a masterful job at self-critiquing, I should digress...

Really, when you get down to the bare bones of most things, they're just a method of expressing a message to an audience willing to listen. In that whole 'Conor' mess, it's a blatant display of pride in its sinful form, with more focus on how 'awesome' (a term I use sarcastically) the author's ideal persona is than any other flippin' thing. With your first story, there's still a few "Look at me!" vibes, but the main focus and development is from the world and the cast of characters that inspired the story in the first place. And sometimes, that little extra bit of attention is all it takes to make a story go from mediocre to enjoyable.

So, yeah. Best of luck on whatever happens next, though be sure to give your mind at least some sort of break before prying over that sequel. You've heard of that infamous scene from the film "Scanners", right?
The head explosion shot, right? I didn't like that film. I also agree on the whole 'focus' thing where something is more enjoyable when it focuses on a cast, rather than on the author's avatar.

I've always hated my past work, and I'm glad I could portray myself differently now rather than sounding like the immature child of yesteryear, if that makes sense.

Thank you for reading this MS Ting, I hope I'll hear from you in Blue Shadows at some point. As I said, I'll probably try and get cracking on something Anime related...though, actually, I've been thinking of doing a Let's Play of sorts, something I haven't touched in any form for a while, long before I came here.
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