Nothing is Sacred Anymore! Let's MST A Fanfic: LOVE, BULLETS AND IMMORTALITY


Chapter 4: No Words Can Describe

Sorry for the late update, everyone, because I know you can't wait to see more of this fic! I know I can't!

Remember the super-exposition from last chapter? There's more! Yes, apparently Conor knows Rouge. In fact, they were in love! Wait...what? Oh, and, apparently Conor really is Sonicverse Superman, because as soon as he takes off his hat and glasses, she recognises him...wit a sec...she and Fiona went over to him after his opening fee courtesy of Amy and Blaze! Was he wearing his hat and glasses during that?

Here, for those who daren't believe it to be true, is Conor's little bit of exposition:

-We were in love you and I said Conor. We were dating back in Knothole do you remember we went to steal the Master Emerald in the emerald chamber but Robotnick and Metal Sonic were there fighting Locke and then the freedom fighters showed up. I died and Knuckles took the emerald.-

So this...really is meant to be Archie canon? Can I just say, again, that NICOLE keeps watch on the entire city this should take place in? It wasn't even new when he wrote this! The storyline for it started in 1007, three years prior to this fan-fics horrible existence!

Next, Conor decides he will get revenge on Sonic - meaning the whole deal that started this fic is off. He asks Fiona to join him and Rouge, to which she says:

-So you're that Conor Fiona said. You wanna get Sonic so do I he and Mighty left me in a jail cell for years while they escaped. I'll help.-

Fiona wants to get Sonic, fair enough. BUT did I miss the issue where Might helped Sonic fight her? Apparently so! Also, she doesn't say where they escaped from...Knothole, she means? If she means Knothole, she is sorely mistaken as I'm pretty sure that A: Everyone in Knothole was captured when Eggman destroyed it, and B: Fiona was in Moebius at the time, as were the rest of the Supression Squad.

Well, whatever, we have our new band of villain-protagonists, who, given the way Conor says it, are about to get it on. Thankfully, we head over to Sonic's house next. Sonic and Shadow get ready for bed, but Shadow seems...displeased, Sonic takes a wild guess:

-Look if you're mad about the restaurant the girls still love me I can't help that and the Conor guy might take an interest in me but I still love you Sonic said affectionately.-

Clarke Kent Syndrome seems to be infecting Sonic, too, as even though he apparently fought Conor, he is completely clueless to the fact that the Conor from the restaurant, who he thinks is crushing on him, is the same person.

Back with Conor, he, Fiona and Rouge are, apparently going to dick around with our homosexual duo (ugh!) and make it seem like a nightmare. Somehow. What does said nightmare consist of? Well, here it is in action:

-Shadow began to twist and turn in his sleep suddenly he opened his eyes to see a figure in black looming over him he put a hand over Shadows mouth and in a flash they were on a skyscraper the dark figure was holding Shadow by the throat over the ledge. He let go Shadow screamed as he plummeted towards the ground as he hit the pavement he woke up to see Sonic sleeping and Shadow looked around the room nothing but a nightmare he told himself as he fell back asleep.

Sonic woke to the feeling of something stroking his thighs and c##k Shadow you dirty boy he said as he looked down to see Amy naked rubbing his c##k looking entranced at it she saw a fox that he couldn't remember and Rouge pinning his arms back they were also naked while Blaze sat on his stomach rubbing his chest and a hedgehog in black place a hand over his mouth Sonic began to struggle but the girls and the hedgehog didn't move the hedgehog spoke in a whisper of a voice "You've got skeletons in your closet" Sonic arched his back as he [you-know-what] in Amys mouth. The hedgehog smiled and in a flash Sonic woke up sweating he looked down to find that the girls and hedgehog were nowhere to be seen Shadow was sleeping he fell back asleep.

Both hedgehogs got little sleep from constant bad dreams Sonic dreamed the hedgehog in black kept dunking him in water and Shadow saw Maria being shot before his eyes by a hedgehog in black all the time girls surrounded him giggling and laughing.-

I...don't know either. Oh, and, Amy was involved, I guess. Also, some words may be slightly censored. Think of the children!

They visit Mario and Luigi about their problems and our author suddenly remembers that Mario is meant to be stereotypically Italian by doing the age old-a a's to end-a certain words-a. Oh, and Shadow is retarded when it comes to explaining things:

-He had no emotion on his face while he did it I couldn't see his face but he eyes were Blue and full of hate-

Clap...clap...clap... Well done, Shadow, well done.

So, back to Conor. The next step of the plan is, get this, to freak out Tails, force him to join them, and torture Sonic by having Amy and Blaze screw him senseless (Best. Torture. Ever.) and also, Conor has some old friends to call up. Will they be canon characters acting completely OOC, too? Probably.

Conor then chokes on his cereal after a very short LesYay moment from Rouge and Fiona. Sadly, it doesn't kill him, instead he ends the chapter like so:

-One guy who can't die whose gona get revenge on his old friend and lives in a house full of bisexual girls dying for a fuck what else could I want? Conor laughed He sat down at the TV as the girls sat around him Rouge and Fiona in his lap Amy and Blaze holding his arms Conor sat back and smiled-

Thus, the chapter ends, and I can only be so greatful for it, later everybody!


What... just... what is this? Ok, I have to ask, does this make ANY sense if you're familiar with the Sonic Canon? Because I'm... really not following, so I'm left here, trying to eloquently describe to myself just how much of a Stu our hero(?) is, and I'm not even doing so hot at that.

Also, minor correction. You labeled this chapter as #4, but the chapter in question was #5.
slowzombie 6th May 11
No. It makes no sense of ANY Sonic canon. Also, the chapter numbers refer to the installment number, not the chapter of the fanfiction. Is they were, the last installment would've been called Chapters 3-4, after all.
sanityisoverrated 7th May 11
My brain doesn't work the way it should these days. My bad :/
slowzombie 7th May 11