History WebVideo / StuartAshen

Self-described “failed psychologist” Dr. Stuart Clive Ashen, or simply Dr. Ashen, born 16 December 1976, is the premier source on Website/YouTube for {{review}}s of {{Shoddy Knockoff Product}}s -- primarily electronics and toys. He also reviews equally horrible retro British games in a series called ''Terrible Old Games You've Probably Never Heard Of'' (which evolved into a crowdfunded book published by Unbound of various bad, old computer games), and [[BileFascination most horrifically of all]], really cheap and/or really old processed food. He has also created two small series of comedy videos for the BBC Comedy Extra website, named ''Ashen's Tech Dump'' and ''Back Space''.

* TheArtifact: Ashen's stylized illustration in his title card depicts him with hair, even after he shaved it off in 2020.

* InteractiveFiction: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWYY4BCAyzQ "Who Stole My Sofa?"]] is one done through a main video with annotations leading to unlisted branches, although there's really only one real ending, with some of the choices leading to the same results, but in different ways, though they are hilarious. It features Stuart [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin on a journey to find who stole his missing sofa,]] with [[SpecialGuest guest]] [[MassiveMultiplayerCrossover crossovers]] with WebVideo/KickThePj, Music/DanBull, [[https://www.youtube.com/user/EuphoricCreation Emma Pickles,]] WebVideo/DanAndPhilGAMES, and [[https://www.youtube.com/user/WorldOfTheOrange WorldOfTheOrange.]] [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Sponsored by]] [[ProductPlacement Dr. Pepper!]]

* HelplessWithLaughter: Stuart once had to [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adkWiJA9xR0 abandon a take]] and [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbw9fGx_1RU redo the video]] because he wasn't used to the text on the box during the first take and couldn't read it without bursting into laughter at the sheer amount of {{Engrish}} on the box. He tried to continue after gems like "funny laughter key" and "6 act or talk like a fool key", but was forced to give up after discovering that, as a result of [[TranslateTheLoanwordsToo translating the Chinese phonetic guides]], the box gave nicolas, Marty, Antonio Stella bottom tile, and ji plug pu · melon nai as alternate names for Nicola Amati, Antonio Stradivari, and Giuseppe Guarneri, respectively.

* BileFascination: His claim to fame is InUniverse a series of video reviews of]] [[ShoddyKnockoffProduct POP Stations]], toys and games, almost all of which are crap. Many of them are donations from viewers.

* PandaingToTheAudience: His [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5CibGkR4jc Panda Extravaganza]], he even says the trope name in the end of the video.

** The ending to "Ashens Halloween Special 2020", where Stuart uses the Spirit Board (AKA [[WritingAroundTrademarks Ouija Board]]) to contact Joan of Arc and ask her what her favorite milkshake was. The board instead spells "THIS VIDEO IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY RAID SHADOW LEGENDS"[[note]]a game that is mostly known for being the sponsor for many [=YouTubers=], to the point that "[[EnforcedPlug This video is brought to you by]] ''[[EnforcedPlug Raid Shadow Legends]]'' is now an internet meme"[[/note]], which causes Stuart to push the board away while exclaiming "Oh my god this thing ''is'' evil!"

** After he parodies a quote from ''Film/TheRoom'' he says: "Let's begin a video by quoting an obscure film that most people watching haven't seen!"

** [[Film/TheRoom "I did not hit her! It's not true! It's bullshit! I did not hit her! I did not!]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJXlFcAaSIk ...oh, HaiPad."]]

He has made two crowd-funded films. ''[[WebVideo/AshensAndTheQuestForTheGameChild The Quest for the Game Child]]'', is a Z-movie in which he searches for the eponymous knockoff game system, while ''Film/AshensAndThePolybiusHeist'' is a fully produced indie film in which he organizes a team to steal the only remaining copy of the eponymous urban legend. He also appeared in the ScienceFiction film ''Film/TheDarkestDawn''.

* VomitDiscretionShot: At least twice now - once when he found a maggot (actually fake and put there as a prank) in a pack of nasty-tasting chocolate he was sent, at which point he simply abruptly dropped the packet and ran off, and again when he ate a portion of a century egg. In both cases we were treated to a "TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES PLEASE STAND BY" holding slide featuring a vomiting cartoon Ashens.

His Website/YouTube page is [[https://www.youtube.com/user/ashens here]] (his overflow channel is [[https://www.youtube.com/user/extraashens here]]) and his Twitch channel is [[http://www.twitch.tv/ashens here]], which is usually live on a Wednesday. He also served as the narrator for ''WebVideo/NinjaTheMissionForce'', duplicating the LargeHam British narrator of Godfrey Ho's films. In 2016, he and Internet chef Barry Lewis created the channel WebVideo/{{Barshens}}, which is available to watch [[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDYytfm5PZin4N0hT_nLxDQ here]].

* SurpriseCreepy: The 2013 Playmobil Advent Calendar at first seemed to be shaping up to be a straightforward series of videos like the 2012 Lego Star Wars one, but then the Grass Masks start showing up...

* In "Surstromming Taste Test", he gets worried that the fermented fish will make his house smell of death and acid, then quips that "Death and Acid" is also the name of his favourite band.

-->'''Ashen:''' Oh, you would ''not'' believe what happened to me over the last couple of weeks... [[IncrediblyLameFun I painted a spare room! It was crazy! You should've seen it.]]

** Forms of patronizing marketing also manages to piss Ashen off. He expressed his displeasure at the Flip Video's slogans plastered all over its packaging, and actually refused to properly review a set of Carpenter earbuds due to the pretentious-sounding description on the back of its box, especially with its [[IncrediblyLamePun incredibly lame would/wood pun]].

* IncrediblyLamePun:
** As a reference to the ''La Di Dah'' iPhone app's autotune effect, as he was saving his recording to share it, he wondered, "Can I send it to Cher"? Very subtle, but terrible, nonetheless.
** The jokes in the Christmas crackers are almost always one of these.
-->'''Ashen''':(reading from joke) "What do hedgehogs have for for lunch? Prickled onions!" What do the people who write these jokes deserve? A knife in the throat!
** "It looks like a fat Batarang: a Fatarang! Hoohoo! ...Sorry."

* TheStinger: Some of his early videos have strange endings after the URL plug. A StupidStatementDanceMix "[[Series/{{Columbo}} Liquid Filth]]" in particular achieved minor memetic status among his subscribers.
** Oh, he's still doing it. And not always of the funny variety, either. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQg052Wpzj0 One]] even seems to be a direct ShoutOut to the trope's name in the form of a '''''TERRIFYINGLY''''' [[IncrediblyLamePun Lame Pun]]. [[spoiler:It involves [[Series/TopGearUK the Stig]].]]

* [[SpellMyNameWithAnS Spell My Name with a "U"]]: [[https://youtu.be/4YOZJqGpCVQ An old review]] of a [[ShoddyKnockoffProduct knockoff]] ''VideoGame/{{Minecraft}}'' toy replaced V's with U's (possibly due to poor font recognition and translation, cemented by its [[TranslationTrainwreck utterly bizarre spiel]] on the back), meaning [[Characters/{{Minecraft}} Steve]] becomes "Steue?" (yes, the question mark is attached to it) and the villager becomes "Uillager."

Self-described “failed psychologist” Dr. Stuart Clive Ashen, or simply Dr. Ashen, born 16 December 1976, is the premier source on Website/YouTube for reviews of {{Shoddy Knockoff Product}}s -- primarily electronics and toys. He also reviews equally horrible retro British games in a series called ''Terrible Old Games You've Probably Never Heard Of'' (which evolved into a crowdfunded book published by Unbound of various bad, old computer games), and [[BileFascination most horrifically of all]], really cheap and/or really old processed food. He has also created two small series of comedy videos for the BBC Comedy Extra website, named ''Ashen's Tech Dump'' and ''Back Space''.

His site is [[http://www.ashens.com here]], his Website/YouTube page [[https://www.youtube.com/user/ashens here]] (his overflow channel is [[https://www.youtube.com/user/extraashens here]]) and his Twitch channel is [[http://www.twitch.tv/ashens here]], which is usually live on a Wednesday. He also served as the narrator for ''WebVideo/NinjaTheMissionForce'', duplicating the LargeHam British narrator of Godfrey Ho's films. In 2016, he and Internet chef Barry Lewis created the channel WebVideo/{{Barshens}}, which is available to watch [[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDYytfm5PZin4N0hT_nLxDQ here]].

* BadImpressionists: In "10 Reviews in 10 Minutes 2", his assistant Dan does an [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvlu57FGxuA#t=708 impression of Ashen's opening]] which Ashen himself says sounds more like Dame Maggie Smith from ''Series/DowntonAbbey''.

* AluminumChristmasTrees:
** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcniO4-CVdM Lampshaded]] with a bootleg action figure of [[Wrestling/MickFoley Dude Love]].
** Some non-British fans are surprised to find out that Noseybonk was a real character from a British children's television show and not just some horror creature he devised.
** Same thing with the Game Child. Yes, it was indeed a real knockoff of the Game Boy, although Stuart's description in ''The Quest for the Game Child'' is significantly exaggerated, particularly in regard to the fact that it was supposedly radioactive. {{Lampshade|Hanging}}d during the actual review of the Game Child when he states, "Yes, we didn't make it up for the hilarious narrative purposes of the film. This is an actual ripoff that was sold to the shops."
** During the [[BlindIdiotTranslation hilarious "violin history"]] on the box of the Chinese electronic violin, he wonders what the child of a violin and a piano would be. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoZOkGtygjk Leonardo da Vinci's "Viola Organista" would probably have been a better answer than "accordion"]].
** In the ''Series/DoctorWho'' LCD Adventure Game review, he's baffled about a stage where the Wire, an energy being living in the television network is escaping in a car... except that in the [[Recap/DoctorWhoS28E7TheIdiotsLantern episode]] the level of the game is based on, the Wire does exactly that, being inside a 50s-style portable TV.

* JumpCut: Lampshaded.

* KillItWithFire: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxACqE-puLY&t=3m45s His reaction]] to an incredibly scary looking doll.
** He seems to have a blowtorch now, as he's "killed" a bad-looking [[Franchise/HarryPotter Draco Malfoy]] figure, an easter chick decoration, a My Little Pony fake, and a Franchise/ToyStory Woody Gachapon toy with it, along with anything else from a blind bag that doesn't make it onto the Shelf of Interesting Items or into the Drawer of Purgatory.

* LetsPlay: His general approach towards video game ripoffs.

** His final verdict on ''Renegade III''.

** He seems to have a blowtorch now, as he's "killed" a bad-looking [[Franchise/HarryPotter Draco Malfoy]] figure, an easter chick decoration, a My Little Pony fake, and a WesternAnimation/ToyStory Woody Gachapon toy with it, along with anything else from a blind bag that doesn't make it onto the Shelf of Interesting Items or into the Drawer of Purgatory.

* HalloweenEpisode: Occurs annually, the first was 2010's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43Vo1zwX0iA Obligatory Halloween Themed Video]]. Then came [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeEDhq0JKXM 2011]] which included ghost hunting footage, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Li7vkR__du8 2012]], [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXgd-BqKySc 2013]], [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxCA-5Cbuus 2014]] and [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMzXR22J2C8 a candy themed bonus video]], [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_yIwFSVKZQ 2015]], [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KoOXG-hBdzo 2016]], [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=578SZbv0lLo 2017]], [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPJv21UMMtc 2018]], [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vg2E3Ebc-A8 2019]], [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9cOgTsRtIU 2020]], and [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y54VYcnqLAQ 2021]].

* MessOnAPlate: His review of a canned chicken. Since "dead stop" is frowned upon: what comes out of the tin is a chicken skeleton covered in what morticians call "meat goo," which he jokes must've turned everyone watching vegetarian on the spot.