History WMG / Twilight

[[WMG: Wailin (aka Buttcrack Santa) raped Bella when she was a child.]]

[[WMG: TV Tropes is now owned by Stephanie Meyer]]

Because Meyer is the only one who could find nothing wrong at [[{{Unfortunate Implications}} what]] [[{{Chickification}} they]] [[{{Badass Decay}} did]] [[{{Character Derailment}} to]] [[{{Metroid}} Samus]]. Which means this site is gonna start praising Twilight and saying that there's nothing wrong with Bella Swan (since, as [[{{The Spoony Experiment}} a very smart man]] pointed out, Samus is now acting exactly like Bella) and that Bella and Edward have great chemistry together.

Because Meyer is the only one who could find nothing wrong at [{{Unfortunate Implications}} what]] [[{{Chickification}} they]] [[{{Badass Decay}} did]] [[{{Character Derailment}} to]] [[{{Metroid}} Samus]]. Which means this site is gonna start praising Twilight and saying that there's nothing wrong with Bella Swan (since, as [[{{The Spoony Experiment}} a very smart man]] pointed out, Samus is now acting exactly like Bella) and that Bella and Edward have great chemistry together.

* I love you so much for this.
* ...[[{{Kabikku}} This troper's]] schoolteachers did a skit playing with ''this exact same idea.'' Oh my God, I think we're on to something!

** Impossible, Bella is too old to be his gilfriend.

along with his father Billy, Leah, Seth, Quil, and Embry and all other "shape shifters". The whole story about the "spirit wolves" is how the first wizards learned to become Animagi. Giant animals exist in the HP universe. They pretend to be "werewolves" to keep the Muggles (who are oddly nonchalant with mythical species) away from the Wizarding world, and to keep the Micolamaia away from people. They keep this act up to draw away from the Harry Potter style werewolves. Jake and the others go to a wizardry school in La Push, conveniently away from the major cities. The only Micolamia in Forks to know is Alice Cullen who became the Secret-Keeper only kept the secret safe in exchange for Divination lessons.

Think about. Edward is a [[RedHeadedHero red head hero]] (Smeyer states that he has copper hair) and all [[HeroesWantRedHeads heroes want redheads]]. You do the math.

Somehow, [[GodModeSue Meyer]] managed to create an AlternateUniverse where she jacked the process of writing the weird as [[UnusualEuphemism !@# $]] [[EndOfEvangelion Ending of Evangelion]]. She used this to reflect a mirror universe, and stepped into it to [[DisContinuity hijack the process of instrumentality from Shinji]] and the Giant Naked Rei before [[ApocalypseHow they could finish it]]. Before any of this, however, she made a [[ArtificialHuman clone]] of herself to be [[AssimilationPlot boiled down into the Sea of LCL]], thus allowing her to be a part of the final product of Instrumentality while still remaining separate from it.

There´s two possibilities:

* This doesn't hold for ALL disasters. Her power isn't seeing the future so much as it is seeing what will happen when a person makes a definite choice. She can see outcomes, like Hiro's father on {{Heroes}}. She's not responsible for the natural disasters. Terrorist attacks and the like, though - that's all her.

<<|WildMassGuessing|>>

shall now dub as "Cat Man" was actually thinking about his cat in some way that relates to either sex or money.]]
* In either case, [[{{Squick}} it does not bear further elaboration]].

Bella is dying [without Edward realizing it (I'll get to it)], and decides to write her memoirs before she kicks the bucket. She is currently presiding at the Cullen's place with Edward, her [[Understatement somewhat]] emotionally abusive vampire boyfriend-turned-husband. Though she tries to write at the best of her abilities, she is still at a high school writing level, which explains the crappy writing. (As noted in the Troper Tales page for it, [[PurpleProse Purple Prose]] is greatly encouraged in high school) However, Edward, being the self-designated protecter of Bella, keeps a constant watch on her every move, and takes great displeasure in seeing his beloved write such things as "stalker", "abusive", and "God I'm so afraid of him." So, naturally, he threatens her into writing him as a "caring" and "beautiful" boyfriend, which changes much of the way the story is told from here on out.

'''...[[{{Nostalgia Critic}} The Nostalgia Chick]]'''

The vampires were the original dominant species of earth. Some sort of disease caused them to [[NoPartyLikeADonnerParty become cannibalistic]] and agressive. They almost met the fall of their civilization by literaly eating themselves, until they came with a solution: they created an inferior race of vampires called humans, and started breeding them as livestock. The smell and taste of the human blood became more more stronger by selective breeding them. The vampires started over breeding the humans. Soon the human herds were too numerous, causing them to escape and overpopulate earth, out numbering their creators, building their own civilization and eventually forgetting about the [[AwfulTruth true origin of their species]]..... [[WaitWhatWhoa wait, what?]]

* She screams and cries so much in the movie, you'd think she was undergoing the last stages of soul chain consumption...OrSoIHeard

* Maybe they are Chiropteran Chevaliers from BloodPlus, and Esme is their current Queen. The bad ones are controlled by the other Queen. The whole discussion isn't about Bella; she just have gotten in as a delicious future meal. (Diva herself considered younger and prettier people to be more delicious than older or ugly people, so... [[SoYeah Yeah]].)

* Let’s be frank the Cullens being immortal and secret get bored really easily, and given that all of them are couples Edward’s virginity became something interesting enough for them bet on. Jasper, Emmet and Rosalie betted on him losing it at 200 when Tanya lashes all her incubus power on him while Alice call it at 110. Now if Emmet and Jasper lose they will have to dress as women for a whole century while Rosalie and Alice will have to dress as men. Emmet finds the idea funny, but Rosalie and Jasper hate it that is why they were so willing to kill Bella once they knew that Edward had an interest on her, Edward was the only one idiot enough not to recognize his attraction towards the girl, while Alice was delighted to be friends with Bella. Of course in New Moon her hopes vanished once Edward left, that is why on Eclipse she staged for them to stay alone so she can finally win, seeing that her stupid brother didn’t cooperate or that Bella was a failure as a seductress so she got her all the help that she could get and them some and placed only sexy lingerie on Bella’s suitcase for the honeymoon to make sure Edward couldn’t get with his virginity intact. Sadly due to the pregnancy and all the complications Carlisle and Esme considered that it would be on poor taste to cash on the bet and cancelled it.

[[WMG: The nameless, unseen character who [[@/{{Specialist290}} I]] shall now dub as "Cat Man" was actually thinking about his cat in some way that relates to either sex or money.]]