History UsefulNotes / TheHouseOfTudor

[[WesternAnimation/{{Histeria}} Divorced, Beheaded, Died]]; [[HorribleHistories Divorced, Beheaded, Survived]]

* Historian Alison Weir has published two novels based on the Tudors. ''Innocent Traitor'' covers the life of Lady Jane Grey, also heavily featuring Mary Tudor and with several cameos by Elizabeth. ''The Lady Elizabeth'' is about Elizabeth's life from the death of Anne Boleyn to the death of Mary I.

''[[EvenEvilHasStandards At least we're not as rude as]]... [[TakeThat Simon Cowell]]!"''

* ''Film/{{Elizabeth}}'', ''Series/ElizabethI'', and ''Elizabeth: The Golden Years''

It should be mentioned that modern medicine has brought some irony to cases where men such as Henry VIII find another woman when their wife produces only daughters, [[ScienceMarchesOn as the chromosome that determines sex is transmitted by the male.]] Also ironic is that the problems Henry kept having with his children being stillborn or dying in infancy may also have been his genes: some scientists suspect that Henry was positive for the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kell_antigen_system Kell]][[subscript:1]] blood antigen, which can cause [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-Kell_hemolytic_disease_of_the_newborn a disease that causes stillbirths or infant deaths]] if the mother had previously been exposed to the antigen (which in those days would have meant by becoming pregnant with a baby who had the antigen). This would explain why Anne Boleyn and Jane Seymour's second children by Henry died when Elizabeth and Edward were healthy (or at least, healthy enough to survive infancy). Mary being a third pregnancy throws a monkey wrench into this theory, but only so far; Kell is a more or less Mendelian dominant trait, so if Henry was heterozygous for the trait (which he almost certainly was), it is possible that Mary was Kell[[subscript:1]] -negative. To heap on the irony, Henry's second daughter, Elizabeth I, whom he declared illegitimate after he had her mother beheaded, [[SocietyMarchesOn became Queen of England and is considered one of the greatest English monarchs.]] On the other hand she did effectively end the Tudor dynasty (and Henry's direct legitimate line) so it is [[DeliberateValuesDissonance unlikely old Henry would have taken too much comfort in that.]]

It should be mentioned that modern medicine has brought some irony to cases where men such as Henry VIII find another woman when their wife produces only daughters, [[ScienceMarchesOn as the chromosome that determines sex is transmitted by the male.]] Also ironic is that the problems Henry kept having with his children being stillborn or dying in infancy may also have been his genes: some scientists suspect that Henry was positive for the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kell_antigen_system Kell]]₁ blood antigen, which can cause [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-Kell_hemolytic_disease_of_the_newborn a disease that causes stillbirths or infant deaths]] if the mother had previously been exposed to the antigen (which in those days would have meant by becoming pregnant with a baby who had the antigen). This would explain why Anne Boleyn and Jane Seymour's second children by Henry died when Elizabeth and Edward were healthy (or at least, healthy enough to survive infancy). Mary being a third pregnancy throws a monkey wrench into this theory, but only so far; Kell is a more or less Mendelian dominant trait, so if Henry was heterozygous for the trait (which he almost certainly was), it is possible that Mary was Kell₁-negative. To heap on the irony, Henry's second daughter, Elizabeth I, whom he declared illegitimate after he had her mother beheaded, [[SocietyMarchesOn became Queen of England and is considered one of the greatest English monarchs.]] On the other hand she did effectively end the Tudor dynasty (and Henry's direct legitimate line) so it is [[DeliberateValuesDissonance unlikely old Henry would have taken too much comfort in that.]]

It should be mentioned that modern medicine has brought some irony to cases where men such as Henry VIII find another woman when their wife produces only daughters, [[ScienceMarchesOn as the chromosome that determines sex is transmitted by the male.]] As well as the fact that his second daughter, Elizabeth I, whom he declared illegitimate after he had her mother beheaded, [[SocietyMarchesOn became Queen of England and is considered one of the greatest English monarchs.]] On the other hand she did effectively end the Tudor dynasty (and Henry's direct legitimate line) so it is [[DeliberateValuesDissonance unlikely old Henry would have taken too much comfort in that.]]

Enter UsefulNotes/JaneSeymour. A staunch Roman Catholic, Jane was everything Anne was not - quiet, placid, feminine, delicate, and blonde. (Henry was like that: every wife he chose was, in some way, the stark opposite of her predecessor.) Jane also refused to have sex with Henry until marriage, which didn't take very long: within weeks of Anne's last miscarriage her enemies charged her with adultery, incest, and witchcraft. She was convicted, Henry (by now getting into the swing of this Supreme Head thing) annulled their marriage, and she was executed.

The six monarchs of England between 1485 and 1603.

Oh, needs to be mentioned that modern medicine has brought some irony to cases where men find another woman when their wife produces only daughters, as the chromosome that determines sex is transmitted by the male. As well as the fact that his second daughter, Elizabeth I, whom he declared illegitimate after he had her mother beheaded, became Queen of England and is considered one of the greatest English monarchs. On the other hand she did effectively end the Tudor dynasty (and Henry's direct legitimate line) so it is unlikely old Henry would have taken too much comfort in that.

Enter UsefulNotes/JaneSeymour. A staunch Roman Catholic, Jane was everything Anne was not - quiet, placid, feminine, delicate, and blonde. (Henry was like that: every wife he chose was the stark opposite of her predecessor.) Jane also refused to have sex with Henry until marriage, which didn't take very long: within weeks of Anne's last miscarriage her enemies charged her with adultery, incest, and witchcraft. She was convicted, Henry (by now getting into the swing of this Supreme Head thing) annulled their marriage, and she was executed.

Henry was introduced to his fourth wife, Anne of Cleves (German: ''Anna von Jülich-Kleve-Berg''), via a lovely Holbein portrait that now can be seen in The Louvre. Henry found her so unattractive in person that the marriage was annulled six months later without it having been consummated. (History does not record what Anne thought of Henry, who by this time weighed about 350 pounds and had nasty pus-spewing abscesses on both legs.) The strange part was that [[HollywoodHomely she wasn't really that unattractive]] - at least, none of the English courtiers who wrote about her after Henry's death mentioned her being anything but remarkably pleasant-looking. At least one said she was the best-looking of all of Henry's queens. But she was docile, tall, quite large-breasted, and largely trained in the domestic arts, and Henry liked them feisty, tiny, boyish, and with a classically-trained intellect. More than one historian has wondered if Henry became impotent at this point and blamed Anne instead of his weight. In the end, Anne, who presumably had by now read up on what happened to Queens One and Two (and had her decision greatly simplified by the fact that she was provably as pure and virgin as the day she was married), signed the annulment papers at the King's first suggestion, and thereby got a ''very'' generous settlement from a very relieved King Henry, which allowed her to outlive (and get richer than) the other five. Henry, who didn't actually ''dislike'' her as a person, treated her as an honorary sister; she got on incredibly well with both of his daughters, and was invited to all the events at court. Clearly, Anne was no fool.

The man with six[[note]] If we want to be really technical, the correct number is actually '''two''', or three (if you are Catholic). Wives number 1 (for Anglicans only), 2, 4, and 5 were ''annulled'', which is a legal {{retcon}} claiming that the pair never got married in the first place).[[/note]] wives. Every Briton can remember what happened to them -- "divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived" (and every pedant will reply, "annulled, annulled and beheaded, died, annulled and survived, annulled and beheaded, survived"). Arguably the best-known monarch in history, yet he was not even born to the throne and is a fine upshot of the royal marital tradition of producing ''"an heir and a spare"'' — he was actually the "[[SpareToTheThrone spare]]", but ended up in line to the throne after his older brother Arthur died... and he also married the guy's widow, [[UsefulNotes/CatherineOfAragon Catherine of Aragon]] (Catalina de Aragón), a literal Spanish Princess, Aragon and Castile having been united by the marriage of her parents, as part of the Spanish Catholic Reconquista of the Iberian Penninsula from [[UsefulNotes/MoorishSpain Moorish Spain]]. Marrying his brother's widow raised a few eyebrows, but it did carry with it several advantages. For one thing, it continued to link the new House of Tudor to the powerful House of Trastámara, granting the Tudors legitimacy; and since Catherine's sister Juana (heiress to the Spanish throne, as her parents had no living sons by that point) was married to Philip "the Handsome" Habsburg of Burgundy, son and heir of the [[UsefulNotes/HolyRomanEmpire Holy Roman Emperor]], the three-way political alliance thus cemented was absolutely fantastic (and conveniently completely surrounded France). Second, it gave Henry a very desirable out from the international royal marital lottery. Unlike many royal spouses Catherine and Henry were already well-acquainted and, even better, seemed to like one another. They were close in age (Catherine only being five years older than him), intellectual matches (not only was she friends with the scholars Erasmus and Sir UsefulNotes/ThomasMore, but she had served as ambassador to the English court for her father, making her the first female ambassador in European history), were widely regarded as attractive and -- perhaps best of all -- Henry was marrying someone who already knew her way around that whole monarch thing. He was only 18 when he came to the throne and engaged in some WackyFratboyHijinx in his early years as King (he and some male buddies once burst into the Queen's bedchamber dressed as RobinHood and his Merry Men). A redhead, he does remind one of his contemporary namesake, Prince Henry of Wales ([[UsefulNotes/TheBritishRoyalFamily Prince Harry]]). Plus, there was the small matter of not then having to return Catherine's dowry.

The man with six[[note]] If we want to be really technical, the correct number is actually '''two''', or three (if you are Catholic). Wives number 1 (for Anglicans only), 2, 4, and 5 were ''annulled'', which is a legal {{retcon}} claiming that the pair never got married in the first place).[[/note]] wives. Every Briton can remember what happened to them -- "divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived" (and every pedant will reply, "annulled, annulled and beheaded, died, annulled and survived, annulled and beheaded, survived"). Arguably the best-known monarch in history, yet he was not even born to the throne and is a fine upshot of the royal marital tradition of producing ''"an heir and a spare"'' — he was actually the "[[SpareToTheThrone spare]]", but ended up in line to the throne after his older brother Arthur died... and he also married the guy's widow, [[UsefulNotes/CatherineOfAragon Catherine of Aragon]] (Catalina de Aragón), a literal Spanish Princess, Aragon and Castile having been united by the marriage of her parents. Marrying his brother's widow raised a few eyebrows, but it did carry with it several advantages. For one thing, it continued to link the new House of Tudor to the powerful House of Trastámara, granting the Tudors legitimacy; and since Catherine's sister Juana (heiress to the Spanish throne, as her parents had no living sons by that point) was married to Philip "the Handsome" Habsburg of Burgundy, son and heir of the [[UsefulNotes/HolyRomanEmpire Holy Roman Emperor]], the three-way political alliance thus cemented was absolutely fantastic (and conveniently completely surrounded France). Second, it gave Henry a very desirable out from the international royal marital lottery. Unlike many royal spouses Catherine and Henry were already well-acquainted and, even better, seemed to like one another. They were close in age (Catherine only being five years older than him), intellectual matches (not only was she friends with the scholars Erasmus and Sir UsefulNotes/ThomasMore, but she had served as ambassador to the English court for her father, making her the first female ambassador in European history), were widely regarded as attractive and -- perhaps best of all -- Henry was marrying someone who already knew her way around that whole monarch thing. He was only 18 when he came to the throne and engaged in some WackyFratboyHijinx in his early years as King (he and some male buddies once burst into the Queen's bedchamber dressed as RobinHood and his Merry Men). A redhead, he does remind one of his contemporary namesake, Prince Henry of Wales ([[UsefulNotes/TheBritishRoyalFamily Prince Harry]]). Plus, there was the small matter of not then having to return Catherine's dowry.

Henry was introduced to his fourth wife, Anne of Cleves (German: ''Anna von Jülich-Kleve-Berg''), via a lovely Holbein portrait that now can be seen in The Louvre. Henry found her so unattractive in person that the marriage was annulled six months later without it having been consummated. (History does not record what Anne thought of Henry, who by this time weighed about 350 pounds and had nasty pus-spewing abscesses on both legs.) The strange part was that [[HollywoodHomely she wasn't really that unattractive]] - at least, none of the English courtiers who wrote about her after Henry's death mentioned her being anything but remarkably pleasant-looking. At least one said she was the best-looking of all of Henry's queens. But she was docile, dark-haired, tall, quite large-breasted, and largely trained in the domestic arts, and Henry liked them feisty, blonde, tiny, boyish, and with a classically-trained intellect. More than one historian has wondered if Henry became impotent at this point and blamed Anne instead of his weight. In the end, Anne, who presumably had by now read up on what happened to Queens One and Two (and had her decision greatly simplified by the fact that she was provably as pure and virgin as the day she was married), signed the annulment papers at the King's first suggestion, and thereby got a ''very'' generous settlement from a very relieved King Henry, which allowed her to outlive (and get richer than) the other five. Henry, who didn't actually ''dislike'' her as a person, treated her as an honorary sister; she got on incredibly well with both of his daughters, and was invited to all the events at court. Clearly, Anne was no fool.

So Henry moved onto Catherine Howard, one of Anne's ladies-in-waiting, who was everything Anne was not: tiny, boyish, spirited, frivolous, and blonde. She was also in love with (and probably legally married to) another man, but that didn't matter: by that time, Henry wasn't taking no for an answer from anyone. After the marriage, Catherine, who was probably all of fifteen years old at this point, found a new boyfriend - Henry's closest body servant - and carried on with him behind the King's back. Bad idea. When Henry found out he naturally had both the current and former boyfriends killed, [[DramaticallyMissingThePoint then sat around for months whining about how all women are whores.]]

The man with six[[note]] If we want to be really technical, the correct number is actually '''two''', or three (if you are Catholic). Wives number 1 (for Anglicans only), 2, 4, and 5 were ''annulled'', which is a legal {{retcon}} claiming that the pair never got married in the first place).[[/note]] wives. Every Briton can remember what happened to them -- "divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived" (and every pedant will reply, "annulled, annulled and beheaded, died, annulled and survived, annulled and beheaded, survived"). Arguably the best-known monarch in history, yet he was not even born to the throne and is a fine upshot of the royal marital tradition of producing ''"an heir and a spare"'' — he was actually the "[[SpareToTheThrone spare]]", but ended up in line to the throne after his older brother Arthur died... and he also married the guy's widow, Catherine of Aragon (Catalina de Aragón), a literal Spanish Princess, Aragon and Castile having been united by the marriage of her parents. Marrying his brother's widow raised a few eyebrows, but it did carry with it several advantages. For one thing, it continued to link the new House of Tudor to the powerful House of Trastámara, granting the Tudors legitimacy; and since Catherine's sister Juana (heiress to the Spanish throne, as her parents had no living sons by that point) was married to Philip "the Handsome" Habsburg of Burgundy, son and heir of the [[UsefulNotes/HolyRomanEmpire Holy Roman Emperor]], the three-way political alliance thus cemented was absolutely fantastic (and conveniently completely surrounded France). Second, it gave Henry a very desirable out from the international royal marital lottery. Unlike many royal spouses Catherine and Henry were already well-acquainted and, even better, seemed to like one another. They were close in age (Catherine only being five years older than him), intellectual matches (not only was she friends with the scholars Erasmus and Sir UsefulNotes/ThomasMore, but she had served as ambassador to the English court for her father, making her the first female ambassador in European history), were widely regarded as attractive and -- perhaps best of all -- Henry was marrying someone who already knew her way around that whole monarch thing. He was only 18 when he came to the throne and engaged in some WackyFratboyHijinx in his early years as King (he and some male buddies once burst into the Queen's bedchamber dressed as RobinHood and his Merry Men). A redhead, he does remind one of his contemporary namesake, Prince Henry of Wales ([[UsefulNotes/TheBritishRoyalFamily Prince Harry]]). Plus, there was the small matter of not then having to return Catherine's dowry.

Enter Jane Seymour. A staunch Roman Catholic, Jane was everything Anne was not - quiet, placid, feminine, delicate. (Henry was like that: every wife he chose was the stark opposite of her predecessor.) Jane also refused to have sex with Henry until marriage, which didn't take very long: within weeks of Anne's last miscarriage her enemies charged her with adultery, incest, and witchcraft. She was convicted, Henry (by now getting into the swing of this Supreme Head thing) annulled their marriage, and she was executed.

Catherine Parr, who again was everything her predecessor was not (bookish, serene, twice-widowed, proper, obedient, quiet, and almost scary-smart) was the sixth and last wife. Unlike Henry, she actually ''was'' a Protestant. An intellectual, Catherine published two books on her religious philosophy, though she was explicitly careful to toe to her husband's Catholic line. Henry was so impressed by her that she was largely responsible for choosing the tutors for his younger children, Edward and Elizabeth-- and she chose Protestants, quietly ensuring that the next Head of the Church of England would be one as well.

Luckily for Catherine, she (unlike Anne Boleyn or Catherine Howard) was able to save herself. She was made aware of the warrant for her arrest, and had such a screaming fit that Henry sent his physician to her. It's hard to blame her, Anne and the other Catherine were beheaded for adultery, but Catherine Parr's crime was heresy, the sentence for which was to be burned at the stake-- a much longer, more agonizing death sentence.

* ''Lady Jane'' starring HelenaBonhamCarter as the unfortunate girl and [[Film/ThePrincessBride Cary]] [[Film/SawI Elwes]] as Guildford Dudley.

The man with six[[note]] If we want to be really technical, the correct number is actually '''two''', or three (if you are Catholic). Wives number 1 (for Anglicans only), 2, 4, and 5 were ''annulled'', which is a legal {{retcon}} claiming that the pair never got married in the first place).[[/note]] wives. Every Briton can remember what happened to them -- "divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived" (and every pedant will reply, "annulled, annulled and beheaded, died, annulled and survived, annulled and beheaded, survived"). Arguably the best-known monarch in history, yet he was not even born to the throne and is a fine upshot of the royal marital tradition of producing ''"an heir and a spare"'' — he was actually the "[[SpareToTheThrone spare]]", but ended up in line to the throne after his older brother Arthur died... and he also married the guy's widow, Catherine of Aragon (Catalina de Aragón), a literal Spanish Princess, Aragon and Castile having been united by the marriage of her parents. Marrying his brother's widow raised a few eyebrows, but it did carry with it several advantages. For one thing, it continued to link the new House of Tudor to the powerful House of Trastámara, granting the Tudors legitimacy; and since Catherine's sister Juana (heiress to the Spanish throne, as her parents had no living sons by that point) was married to Philip "the Handsome" Habsburg of Burgundy, son and heir of the [[HolyRomanEmpire Holy Roman Emperor]], the three-way political alliance thus cemented was absolutely fantastic (and conveniently completely surrounded France). Second, it gave Henry a very desirable out from the international royal marital lottery. Unlike many royal spouses Catherine and Henry were already well-acquainted and, even better, seemed to like one another. They were close in age (Catherine only being five years older than him), intellectual matches (not only was she friends with the scholars Erasmus and Sir UsefulNotes/ThomasMore, but she had served as ambassador to the English court for her father, making her the first female ambassador in European history), were widely regarded as attractive and -- perhaps best of all -- Henry was marrying someone who already knew her way around that whole monarch thing. He was only 18 when he came to the throne and engaged in some WackyFratboyHijinx in his early years as King (he and some male buddies once burst into the Queen's bedchamber dressed as RobinHood and his Merry Men). A redhead, he does remind one of his contemporary namesake, Prince Henry of Wales ([[UsefulNotes/TheBritishRoyalFamily Prince Harry]]). Plus, there was the small matter of not then having to return Catherine's dowry.

* ''Theatre/HenryVIII''

Henry today is also known for being one of the few monarchs to leave his country's treasury fuller when he died than when he was crowned, thanks to his stringent taxation (later nicknamed "The Tight-fisted Tudor"). He actually taxed his subjects (as was his right) for the knighting of his son Arthur, after Arthur had actually died. Nevertheless, to presume that this wealth procured through austerity did not lead to any indulgence on his part (as well as the corruption of his ministers) would be, strictly speaking, not true. If any, [[DeliberateValuesDissonance most of the means he used to enrich the treasury would be considered blatant extortion by modern-day standards]].

He was a fine monarch in the way that UsefulNotes/{{Singapore}} is a fine city. Incidentally ([[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial and, not related in the least]]), helped with a [[TropeNamers Trope Name]]: MortonsFork was named for a bit of sharp practice under his watch. Well, his Chancellor's, at least.

Had a PetTheDog moment when he gave one of the defeated pretenders (a commoner named Lambert Simnel who happened to bear a resemblance to one of the dead Yorkist princes, and had been a puppet by rebel nobles) a job in his kitchens instead of executing him.[[note]]Simnel lived to a ripe old age, and is known to have had at least one son, who became a priest.[[/note]] Known for being one of the few monarchs to leave his country's treasury fuller when he died than when he was crowned, thanks to his stringent taxation (later nicknamed "The Tight-fisted Tudor"). He actually taxed his subjects (as was his right) for the knighting of his son Arthur, after Arthur had actually died.

The man with six[[note]] If we want to be really technical, the correct number is actually '''two''', or three (if you are Catholic). Wives number 1 (for Anglicans only), 2, 4, and 5 were ''annulled'', which is a legal {{retcon}} claiming that the pair never got married in the first place).[[/note]] wives. Every Briton can remember what happened to them -- "divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived" (and every pedant will reply, "annulled, annulled and beheaded, died, annulled and survived, annulled and beheaded, survived"). Arguably the best-known monarch in history, yet he was not even born to the throne and is a fine upshot of the royal marital tradition of producing ''"an heir and a spare"'' — he was actually the "[[SpareToTheThrone spare]]", but ended up in line to the throne after his older brother Arthur died... and he also married the guy's widow, Catherine of Aragon (Catalina de Aragón), a literal Spanish Princess, Aragon and Castile having been united by the marriage of her parents. Marrying his brother's widow raised a few eyebrows, but it did carry with it several advantages. For one thing, it continued to link the new House of Tudor to the powerful House of Trastámara, granting the Tudors legitimacy; and since Catherine's sister Juana (heiress to the Spanish throne, as her parents had no living sons by that point) was married to Philip "the Handsome" Habsburg of Burgundy, son and heir of the [[HolyRomanEmpire Holy Roman Emperor]], the three-way political alliance thus cemented was absolutely fantastic (and conveniently completely surrounded France). Second, it gave Henry a very desirable out from the international royal marital lottery. Unlike many royal spouses Catherine and Henry were already well-acquainted and, even better, seemed to like one another. They were close in age (Catherine only being five years older than him), intellectual matches (not only was she friends with the scholars Erasmus and Sir UsefulNotes/ThomasMore, but she had served as ambassador to the English court for her father, making her the first female ambassador in European history), were widely regarded as attractive and -- perhaps best of all -- Henry was marrying someone who already knew her way around that whole monarch thing. He was only 18 when he came to the throne and engaged in some WackyFratboyHijinx in his early years as King (he and some male buddies once burst into the Queen's bedchamber dressed as RobinHood and his Merry Men). A redhead, he does remind one of his contemporary namesake, Prince Henry of Wales ([[BritishRoyalFamily Prince Harry]]). Plus, there was the small matter of not then having to return Catherine's dowry.

When Mary had been kicked off the Scottish throne, the heir to the English throne became her son, James VI, who had also ascended to the throne as an infant. James VI was a Protestant. Realising that he couldn't get a Catholic onto the English throne any other way, Philip II of Spain (yes, the man who was married to Mary I), also rather annoyed at English support for the United Netherlands (which were [[EightyYearsWar rebelling against him rather ferociously]]) and privateering (overt state-sponsored piracy) on his treasure ships, got a blessing from Pope Sixtus V and moved onto the second key aspect of the reign of Elizabeth I:

Became king after raising an army with help from the King of France and beating UsefulNotes/RichardIII at the Battle of Bosworth Field after one noble (Baron Stanley, whom he made Earl of Derby for his trouble)[[note]]A peerage that [[LongRunners remains in the family to this day]]: most notably, Lord Stanley of Preston, early Governor-General of Canada and namesake of [[UsefulNotes/{{Vancouver}} Stanley Park]] and the StanleyCup, became ''16th'' Earl of Derby before he could present his trophy.[[/note]] didn't do anything and his brother Sir William Stanley changed sides, thus "officially" ending the UsefulNotes/WarsOfTheRoses. The thorn bush thing isn't true, along with Richard III being a hunchback[[note]]Well, not to as severe a degree as Shakespeare claimed. The discovery of his skeleton, however, revealed that he did have a slight spinal deformity which could have been the origin of the rumours.[[/note]] or being really desperate for a horse – Creator/WilliamShakespeare has a lot to answer for. Henry had to deal with a couple of pretenders to his throne along the way, but he strengthened his claim by marrying Elizabeth of York, the eldest daughter of King Edward IV, meaning that he secured his tie to the opposing family. The Tudor rose (depicted above) is emblematic of their marriage, being a joining of the red rose of Lancaster and the white rose of York. Elizabeth was intelligent, attractive, pious, and beloved by the people. Theirs was probably a PerfectlyArrangedMarriage, as Tudor historians seem to agree she and Henry were genuinely attached to one another. Indeed after Elizabeth's death, Henry did not remarry despite the political benefits.

Actually a descendant of the secret marriage between Catherine of Valois (Henry V's widow) and Owen Tudor. The Tudors were originally a minor noble family from Wales, and played it to the hilt when amassing followers before Bosworth Field (Henry's personal standard at the battle was the Welsh red dragon) and subsequently (he spent a good bit of money trying to prove he was descended from Myth/KingArthur, and named his eldest son Arthur to cement the connection). Henry's claim was weak (he was descended from an illegitimate grandson of Edward III who was explicitly disinherited), but with every other claimant dead or imprisoned, the Lancastrians really weren't in a position to say much.

Actually a descendant of the secret marriage between Catherine of Valois (Henry V's widow) and Owen Tudor. The Tudors were originally a minor noble family from Wales, and played it to the hilt when amassing followers before Bosworth Field (Henry's personal standard at the battle was the Welsh red dragon) and subsequently (he spent a good bit of money trying to prove he was descended from KingArthur, and named his eldest son Arthur to cement the connection). Henry's claim was weak (he was descended from an illegitimate grandson of Edward III who was explicitly disinherited), but with every other claimant dead or imprisoned, the Lancastrians really weren't in a position to say much.

Became king after raising an army with help from the King of France and beating [[UsefulNotes/RichardIII Richard III]] at the Battle of Bosworth Field after one noble (Baron Stanley, whom he made Earl of Derby for his trouble[[note]] A peerage that [[LongRunners remains in the family to this day]]: most notably, Lord Stanley of Preston, early Governor-General of Canada and namesake of [[UsefulNotes/{{Vancouver}} Stanley Park]] and the StanleyCup, became ''16th'' Earl of Derby before he could present his trophy [[/note]]) didn't do anything and his brother Sir William Stanley changed sides, thus "officially" ending the UsefulNotes/WarsOfTheRoses. The thorn bush thing isn't true, along with Richard III being a hunchback[[note]]Well, not to as severe a degree as Shakespeare claimed. The discovery of his skeleton, however, revealed that he did have a slight spinal deformity which could have been the origin of the rumours.[[/note]] or being really desperate for a horse – Creator/WilliamShakespeare has a lot to answer for. Henry had to deal with a couple of pretenders to his throne along the way, but he strengthened his claim by marrying Elizabeth of York, the eldest daughter of King Edward IV, meaning that he secured his tie to the opposing family. The Tudor rose (depicted above) is emblematic of their marriage, being a joining of the red rose of Lancaster and the white rose of York. Elizabeth was intelligent, attractive, pious, and beloved by the people. Theirs was probably a PerfectlyArrangedMarriage, as Tudor historians seem to agree she and Henry were genuinely attached to one another. Indeed after Elizabeth's death, Henry did not remarry despite the political benefits.

The man with six[[note]] If we want to be really technical, the correct number is actually '''two''', or three (if you are Catholic). Wives number 1 (for Anglicans only), 2, 4, and 5 were ''annulled'', which is a legal RetCon claiming that the pair never got married in the first place).[[/note]] wives. Every Briton can remember what happened to them -- "divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived" (and every pedant will reply, "annulled, annulled and beheaded, died, annulled and survived, annulled and beheaded, survived"). Arguably the best-known monarch in history, yet he was not even born to the throne and is a fine upshot of the royal marital tradition of producing ''"an heir and a spare"'' — he was actually the "[[SpareToTheThrone spare]]", but ended up in line to the throne after his older brother Arthur died... and he also married the guy's widow, Catherine of Aragon (Catalina de Aragon), a literal Spanish Princess, Aragon and Castile having been united by the marriage of her parents. Marrying his brother's widow raised a few eyebrows, but it did carry with it several advantages. For one thing, it continued to link the new House of Tudor to the powerful House of Trastámara, granting the Tudors legitimacy; and since Catherine's sister Juana (heiress to the Spanish throne, as her parents had no living sons by that point) was married to Philip "the Handsome" Habsburg of Burgundy, son and heir of the [[HolyRomanEmpire Holy Roman Emperor]], the three-way political alliance thus cemented was absolutely fantastic (and conveniently completely surrounded France). Second, it gave Henry a very desirable out from the international royal marital lottery. Unlike many royal spouses Catherine and Henry were already well-acquainted and, even better, seemed to like one another. They were close in age (Catherine only being five years older than him), intellectual matches (not only was she friends with the scholars Erasmus and Sir UsefulNotes/ThomasMore, but she had served as ambassador to the English court for her father, making her the first female ambassador in European history), were widely regarded as attractive and -- perhaps best of all -- Henry was marrying someone who already knew her way around that whole monarch thing. He was only 18 when he came to the throne and engaged in some WackyFratboyHijinx in his early years as King (he and some male buddies once burst into the Queen's bedchamber dressed as RobinHood and his Merry Men). A redhead, he does remind one of his contemporary namesake, Prince Henry of Wales ([[BritishRoyalFamily Prince Harry]]). Plus, there was the small matter of not then having to return Catherine's dowry.

In the first nine years of their marriage, Catherine bore Henry three boys and three girls. Unfortunately, two were stillborn, three died in infancy, and only one, Mary, survived. [[labelnote:more]]In order: 1. a stillborn girl, not named; 2. a son, named Henry, made Duke of Cornwall, christened with great pomp, died at 52 days old, received royal funeral; 3. a stillborn boy, not named; 4. a son, named Henry, made Duke of Cornwall, survived less than a month; 5. a daughter, Mary I, see below; 6. a daughter, not named, survived less than a week. Had they all survived, things would have been very different.[[/labelnote]] [[labelnote:more]]Furthermore, given the House of Trastamara's predisposition towards mental illness (which Catherine of Aragon seems to have dodged) it is possible European royal history might have been even more dramatic.[[/labelnote]] Henry carried on his husbandly duty and waited, in vain, for further issue, his worry and impatience at his lack of an heir growing as the years passed.

He's most famous for starting the Church of England even though he didn't actually start the Church of England (that honor goes to his daughter, Elizabeth). Make sense? Not really, but it's what Whig historians in Victorian times believed, and like so much in British history the popular belief is based on what the Victorians made up. What Henry really did was to separate the Catholic Church in England from the Roman Catholic Church, making himself Supreme Head in place of the Pope. Meanwhile the ceremonies, vestments, church hierarchy (with the obvious exception of the Pope), and liturgy remained essentially Catholic. He'd have cut off your head had you accused him of being Protestant. He ''loathed'' Protestantism. It's just that by creating a separate Church tied to the sovereign rather than to Rome, it didn't necessarily remain Catholic in future any more than the monarchs did. A couple of centuries down the track, the throne ended up permanently in the hands of Protestants after Parliament barred Catholics and spouses of Catholics from the succession, meaning the established Anglican church is essentially Protestant. This ban remains in effect, although it was loosened in 2013: spouses of Catholics are no longer barred, but Catholics still can't take the throne--it would be an even bigger headache to conceptualize than the business about the monarch being the Supreme Governor of the (Anglican) Church of England everywhere but Scotland, where he/she is an ordinary member of the (Presbyterian) Church of Scotland. This was not nearly enough, however, for the Puritans who would ultimately settle the New England colonies. They emphasized the importance of individual interpretations of the Bible and personal experiences with the divine. To them, Henry VIII was a King in Pope's clothing. Or a Pope in King's clothing. Either way, it involved "popes" and was therefore bad.

Became king after raising an army with help from the King of France and beating [[UsefulNotes/RichardIII Richard III]] at the Battle of Bosworth Field after one noble (Baron Stanley, whom he made Earl of Derby for his trouble[[note]] A peerage that [[LongRunners remains in the family to this day]]: most notably, Lord Stanley of Preston, early Governor-General of Canada and namesake of [[UsefulNotes/{{Vancouver}} Stanley Park]] and the StanleyCup, became ''16th'' Earl of Derby before he could present his trophy [[/note]]) didn't do anything and his brother Sir William Stanley changed sides, thus "officially" ending the UsefulNotes/WarsOfTheRoses. The thorn bush thing isn't true, along with Richard III being a hunchback[[note]] Well, not to as severe a degree as Shakespeare claimed. The discovery of his skeleton, however, revealed that he did have a slight spinal deformity which could have been the origin of the rumours. [[/note]] or being really desperate for a horse – Creator/WilliamShakespeare has a lot to answer for. Henry had to deal with a couple of pretenders to his throne along the way, but he strengthened his claim by marrying Elizabeth of York, the eldest daughter of King Edward IV, meaning that he secured his tie to the opposing family. The Tudor rose (depicted above) is emblematic of their marriage, being a joining of the red rose of Lancaster and the white rose of York. Elizabeth was intelligent, attractive, pious, and beloved by the people. Theirs was probably a PerfectlyArrangedMarriage, as Tudor historians seem to agree she and Henry were genuinely attached to one another. Indeed after Elizabeth's death, Henry did not remarry despite the political benefits.

The man with six[[note]] If we want to be really technical, the correct number is actually '''two''', or three (if you are Catholic). Wives number 1 (for Anglicans only), 2, 4, and 5 were ''annulled'', which is a legal RetCon claiming that the pair never got married in the first place).[[/note]] wives. Every Briton can remember what happened to them -- "divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived" (and every pedant will reply, "annulled, annulled and beheaded, died, annulled and survived, annulled and beheaded, survived"). Arguably the best-known monarch in history, yet he was not even born to the throne and is a fine upshot of the royal marital tradition of producing ''"an heir and a spare"'' — he was actually the "[[SpareToTheThrone spare]]", but ended up in line to the throne after his older brother Arthur died... and he also married the guy's widow, Catherine of Aragon (Catalina de Aragon), a literal Spanish Princess, Aragon and Castile having been united by the marriage of her parents. Marrying his brother's widow raised a few eyebrows, but it did carry with it several advantages. For one thing, it continued to link the new House of Tudor to the powerful House of Trastámara, granting the Tudors legitimacy; and since Catherine's sister Juana (heiress to the Spanish throne, as her parents had no living sons by that point) was married to Philip "the Handsome" Habsburg of Burgundy, son and heir of the [[HolyRomanEmpire Holy Roman Emperor]], the three-way political alliance thus cemented was absolutely fantastic (and conveniently completely surrounded France). Second, it gave Henry a very desirable out from the international royal marital lottery. Unlike many royal spouses Catherine and Henry were already well-acquainted and, even better, seemed to like one another. They were close in age (Catherine only being five years older than him), intellectual matches (not only was she friends with the scholars Erasmus and Thomas More, but she had served as ambassador to the English court for her father, making her the first female ambassador in European history), were widely regarded as attractive and -- perhaps best of all -- Henry was marrying someone who already knew her way around that whole monarch thing. He was only 18 when he came to the throne and engaged in some WackyFratboyHijinx in his early years as King (he and some male buddies once burst into the Queen's bedchamber dressed as RobinHood and his Merry Men). A redhead, he does remind one of his contemporary namesake, Prince Henry of Wales ([[BritishRoyalFamily Prince Harry]]). Plus, there was the small matter of not then having to return Catherine's dowry.

That, and during his reign he had at least 10,000 people executed, including some of England's greatest thinkers such as Bishop John Fisher and Sir UsefulNotes/ThomasMore (not to imply the other deaths were any less tragic). Some historians put the number at closer to 70,000. His daughter, the so-called 'Bloody' Mary, gets a bad rap for killing around 300, so it only seems fair to flag this up.[[note]]Doing the math, Henry took at least 260 heads for each year of his reign, while Mary took about 60 for each year of hers. Yeah... Bloody, Bloody Henry.[[/note]]

He's most famous for starting the Church of England even though he didn't actually start the Church of England (that honor goes to his daughter, Elizabeth). Make sense? Not really, but it's what Whig historians in Victorian times believed, and like so much in British history the popular belief is based on what the Victorians made up. What Henry really did was to separate the Catholic Church in England from the Roman Catholic Church, making himself Supreme Head in place of the Pope. Meanwhile the ceremonies, vestments, church hierarchy (with the obvious exception of the Pope), and liturgy remained essentially Catholic. He'd have cut off your head had you accused him of being Protestant. He ''loathed'' Protestantism.[[note]] It's just that by creating a separate Church tied to the sovereign rather than to Rome, it didn't necessarily remain Catholic in future any more than the monarchs did. A couple of centuries down the track, the throne ended up permanently in the hands of Protestants after Parliament barred Catholics and spouses of Catholics from the succession, meaning the established Anglican church is essentially Protestant. This ban remains in effect, although it was loosened in 2013: spouses of Catholics are no longer barred, but Catholics still can't take the throne--it would be an even bigger headache to conceptualize than the business about the monarch being the Supreme Governor of the (Anglican) Church of England everywhere but Scotland, where he/she is an ordinary member of the (Presbyterian) Church of Scotland.[[/note]][[note]] This was not nearly enough, however, for the Puritans who would ultimately settle the New England colonies. They emphasized the importance of individual interpretations of the Bible and personal experiences with the divine. To them, Henry VIII was a King in Pope's clothing. Or a Pope in King's clothing. Either way, it involved "popes" and was therefore bad.[[/note]]

But Henry did separate England from Rome. Unlike what Whig history implies, he didn't do it specifically because of his desire for UsefulNotes/AnneBoleyn either. He did it because his only heir was Mary, a daughter, and Henry wanted at that point to make absolutely sure that she would never become Queen in her own right – after all, you couldn't possibly make a strong dynasty out of women rulers... (At this point, there had ''never'' been a Queen Regnant of England -- discounting the unfortunate 12th-century Matilda, granddaughter of [[UsefulNotes/TheHouseOfNormandy William the Conqueror]], who was usurped by her cousin Stephen, fought a great civil war against him, and never really got a chance to rule... though her [[UsefulNotes/TheHouseOfPlantagenet descendants]] did.) This meant that he couldn't divorce Catherine like many an heirless king had done to a barren wife before; he needed an annulment, something far more serious that would have made Catherine a whore and Mary a bastard in the eyes of almost anyone who mattered. The only way to get an annulment was to apply to the Pope. Unfortunately for Henry the Holy Roman Emperor Charles V, Catherine's nephew, was at that very moment holding the Pope hostage.

Ten days later Henry married Jane. A year and a half later Jane died after giving birth to Henry's only legitimate son, Edward VI. Common wisdom has it that ''"she had the good fortune to bear a male heir, and the good sense to die almost immediately afterward, before the King could tire of her"''. Which isn't to say she never pissed him off, especially after she tried to dissuade him from closing down the monasteries and taking their lands and goods, or insisting he reinstate Mary to the succession and welcome her back to court. He angrily reminded her of what had happened to Anne, and warned her that it could happen to her too.

Giving him the son he'd waited 27 years for[[note]] – yes, contrary to what you might glean from watching TheTudors, most of the memorable (notorious) events from Henry's reign are compressed into its latter part, by the start of which he was already middle-aged by standards of the day. Jonathan Rhys Meyers is probably a decade too young to be playing Henry even when he marries Anne Boleyn, wife ''2'' of 6, at which point the real king had already reigned for over 23 years and lived for 42 – he was to die aged 55. His marriage to Catherine of Aragon lasted about twice as long as the subsequent five did put together.[[/note]] meant he forgave Jane a lot, however, and Henry was fond of referring to her as his first true wife. While his marriage to Catherine of Aragon lasted much longer and his passion for Anne Boleyn was much more all-encompassing, Henry went out of his way later in life to honor Jane. When he commissioned a portrait of his dynasty, Jane appeared posthumously with him and their son, and he was later buried with her at his own direction.

Luckily for Catherine, she (unlike Anne Boleyn or Katherine Howard) was able to save herself. She was made aware of the warrant for her arrest, and had such a screaming fit that Henry sent his physician to her. It's hard to blame her, Anne and the other Katherine were beheaded for adultery, but Catherine Parr's crime was heresy, the sentence for which was to be burned at the stake-- a much longer, more agonizing death sentence.

Before Edward's final illness, there were no doubts that he would eventually marry and father a large family of sons, rendering moot the Succession Act passed in Henry's lifetime (where Mary, then Elizabeth, would succeed Edward if he died without heirs of his own). When it became obvious that Edward wouldn't live long enough to secure the succession, the king sought to change the succession to eliminate any possibility of Catholic Mary returning the country to Rome, but he couldn't find a legal way to do so without disinheriting Elizabeth as well.[[note]]In fact, it wasn't legal for Edward to change the succession in his will; the succession had been set by Parliament (creating a precedent, incidentally) that no mere royal will (let alone the will of a minor) could set aside.[[/note]] No matter: his first will, written in his own hand some time before his death, left the succession to the eldest son of Lady Jane Grey, a cousin of Edward's who had recently been married [[note]]much against her will[[/note]] to Lord Guildford Dudley, son of the Duke of Northumberland, head of the Council of Regency and one of Edward's senior advisers. It wasn't long, though, until Edward realized that he wasn't going to live long enough for Jane to have any children, so he amended his will to leave the throne directly to her.

Edward's death occurred in July of 1533, and Jane [[note]]again, unwillingly[[/note]] was crowned Queen four days later. Her reign lasted nine days before a justifiably annoyed Mary I showed up with an army. Unfortunately for Northumberland, he'd failed in his attempt to secure the princess in person before proclaiming Jane as queen instead [[labelnote:*]](well used to watching her own back, Mary had sprung into action on the first news of Edward’s death, and was already on her way to seek support in East Anglia by the time Northumberland’s men arrived at her home)[[/labelnote]], and he'd grossly underestimated Mary's popularity with the likes of conservatives, Catholics and those who were loyal to the memory of her mother and believed Catherine had been treated unfairly. It was a ''big'' army. Heads rolled, right into a basket.

What else . . . as noted above, there was also a guy called Sir Francis Walsingham, who effectively got the whole British espionage system going (including 007, which is how John Dee, a prominet schollar and occultist, signed his letters). English drama flourished under her reign, particularly two gentlemen named William Shakespeare and Christopher Marlowe. Diplomatic ties were established with the Ottoman Empire, Barbary States and Japan which led to the expansion of trade. She also granted Sir Walter Raleigh a charter to explore and plant a colony north of Spanish Florida, which would come to be called "Virginia" (perhaps named after her).

* ''WesternAnimation/{{Histeria}}'' sings of the Tudors [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAmRSHRwADE here]], to the tune of "Greensleeves"[[note]]Which music historians are now pretty certain was ''not'' written by Henry VIII. He did write a number of songs and tunes, some of which were well-regarded on their own merits; however, his historical prominence has caused a considerably larger body of works to be misattributed to him over the years[[/note]]. Beware, this song will [[EarWorm stick with you]].

* ''Anne of the Thousand Days'' depicts Anne Boleyn's marriage to Henry VIII starring Richard Burton and Genevieve Bujold.

Became king after raising an army with help from the King of France and beating [[UsefulNotes/RichardIII Richard III]] at the Battle of Bosworth Field after one noble (Baron Stanley, whom he made Earl of Derby for his trouble[[note]] A peerage that remains in the family to this day: Lord Stanley of Preston, early Governor-General of Canada and namesake of [[UsefulNotes/{{Vancouver}} Stanley Park]] and the StanleyCup, became Earl of Derby before he could present his trophy [[/note]]) didn't do anything and his brother Sir William Stanley changed sides, thus "officially" ending the UsefulNotes/WarsOfTheRoses. The thorn bush thing isn't true, along with Richard III being a hunchback[[note]] Well, not to as severe a degree as Shakespeare claimed. The discovery of his skeleton, however, revealed that he did have a slight spinal deformity which could have been the origin of the rumours. [[/note]] or being really desperate for a horse – Creator/WilliamShakespeare has a lot to answer for. Henry had to deal with a couple of pretenders to his throne along the way, but he strengthened his claim by marrying Elizabeth of York, the eldest daughter of King Edward IV, meaning that he secured his tie to the opposing family. The Tudor rose (depicted above) is emblematic of their marriage, being a joining of the red rose of Lancaster and the white rose of York. Elizabeth was intelligent, attractive, pious, and beloved by the people. Theirs was probably a PerfectlyArrangedMarriage, as Tudor historians seem to agree she and Henry were genuinely attached to one another. Indeed after Elizabeth's death, Henry did not remarry despite the political benefits.

Became king after raising an army with help from the King of France and beating [[UsefulNotes/RichardIII Richard III]] at the Battle of Bosworth Field after one noble (Baron Stanley, whom he made Earl of Derby for his trouble) didn't do anything and his brother Sir William Stanley changed sides, thus "officially" ending the UsefulNotes/WarsOfTheRoses. The thorn bush thing isn't true, along with Richard III being a hunchback[[note]] Well, not to as severe a degree as Shakespeare claimed. The discovery of his skeleton, however, revealed that he did have a slight spinal deformity which could have been the origin of the rumours. [[/note]] or being really desperate for a horse – Creator/WilliamShakespeare has a lot to answer for. Henry had to deal with a couple of pretenders to his throne along the way, but he strengthened his claim by marrying Elizabeth of York, the eldest daughter of King Edward IV, meaning that he secured his tie to the opposing family. The Tudor rose (depicted above) is emblematic of their marriage, being a joining of the red rose of Lancaster and the white rose of York. Elizabeth was intelligent, attractive, pious, and beloved by the people. Theirs was probably a PerfectlyArrangedMarriage, as Tudor historians seem to agree she and Henry were genuinely attached to one another. Indeed after Elizabeth's death, Henry did not remarry despite the political benefits.