History Series / OneThousandWaysToDie

** The guy who peed on an electric wire as a dare. Even one of the other guys warns him not to beforehand. And the guy with a urine fetish who had a girl pee on him...in bed...which had an electric blanket which was on.

* MakeItLookLikeAnAccident: The egocentric amateur actor from "Straight to [=DVDead=]" tried to kill the other guy playing the protagonist to have the role all to himself. Unfortunately for him, he got his hand blown up and his femoral artery lacerated by gun shrapnel because he put too much gunpowder into his prop gun.

* StockFootage: The video game in "Game Over" [[note]]The one about the gamer who dies of blood clots in his legs after sitting for nearly three days trying to be the next video game master, only to be defeated by a girl[[/note]] is later on being played by the teen in "Hack Attack" [[note]]The one about the computer hacker who hacks into his own pacemaker and gets killed when his bratty gamer neighbor is playing video games with a wireless controller[[/note]].

* TreadmillTrauma: One story involves a perverted treadmill runner who spies on his neighbour while running. He winds up [[DistractedByTheSexy getting too distracted by the fanservice]] that he trips and gets himself hung by his tracksuit's lace which gets caught in the machine.

* TongueTrauma: In "Tongue Died", a scavenger who steals metal from foreclosed houses bites off his tongue when he falls into an open manhole trying to escape from a cop. [[TooDumbToLive Turns out the scavenger had stolen the manhole cover previously]].

* TraumaCongaLine: The corrupt politician from "Scratch 'n' Snuffed". After being voted out of office, his Brazilian mistress sold his shady dealings to the press. After his wife found out, she slapped him and left him, leaving him dry and broke. Finally, he drops dead from Chagas Disease (see KissOfDeath).

->''"The human body is remarkably resilient. But death is everywhere. Most of us try to avoid it; others can't get out of its way. Every day we fight a new war against germs, toxins, injury, illness, catastrophe and calamity. There are a lot of ways to wind up dead; the fact that we survive at all is a miracle. Because every day we live, we face... A Thousand Ways to Die."''

->''"The human body is remarkably resilient. But death is everywhere. Most people try to avoid it; others can't get out of its way. Every day we fight a new war against germs, toxins, injury, illness, catastrophe and calamity. There are a lot of ways to wind up dead; the fact that we survive at all is a miracle. Because every day we live, we face...A Thousand Ways to Die."''

** "Gasketball" tells the story of two teens who decide it's a good idea to play in a giant helium-filled basketball. At first, they have fun listening to their voices become high-pitched and squeaky... but then they start suffocating due to the lack of oxygen.

* TapOnTheHead: In "Fore Head", a thief who hid behind a Virtual Golf display receives an impact on the forehead, courtesy of a golf ball.

** "De-Faced": Wilbur, a dimwit husband, falls face-first into a snowplow he was warming up due to carbon monoxide poisoning and getting drunk off his ass). It is not pretty.

* TemptingFate: Some deaths are the result of this.
** For example, the OverprotectiveDad in "Dead-dy Dearest" demonstrates that his blank-loaded gun is harmless by putting it to his head and pulling the trigger. He gets killed by the pressure from the gun.

** A crane operator addicted to cocaine tries to cheat a drug test by injecting himself with blood that matches his type, obtained by his girlfriend. If only he would've listened to her when she told him to keep the blood warm instead of storing it into the refrigerator.

->''"The human body is resilient. But death is everywhere. Most people try to avoid it; others can't get out of its way. Every day we fight a new war against germs, toxins, injury, illness, catastrophe and calamity. There are a lot of ways to wind up dead; the fact that we survive at all is a miracle. Because every day we live, we face...A Thousand Ways to Die."''

* SpacehaleAesop: Basically the whole show in general. Any wrong-doing you commit will kill you!

** "Death of Sum Young Guy": A [[FatBastard gluttonous man]] makes his rounds at several Chinese buffet-style restaurants. During one of his trips, he nearly chokes to death while eating, but one of the servers saves him with the Heimlich maneuver. The man ended up dying from all the MSG he consumed which wreaked havoc on his heart (even though most Chinese restaurants nowadays don't put MSG in the food, as they are aware that some people have adverse reactions to it).

** "Death of Sum Young Guy": A [[FatBastard glutton]] eats at so many all-you-can-eat Chinese buffets and nearly chokes. Thankfully, somebody saved him with the Heimlich maneuver. However, shortly after, he dies of a massive heart attack caused by the high content of [=MSG=] built up in his body.

** One fat man dies from his ulcerous stomach ripping open after he asked his girlfriend to alleviate his constant burping by punching him in the stomach, and another has a heart attack caused by the MSG in ten(!) plates of Chinese food.

* BeeAfraid:
** A man shoots a hornet's nest with a paintball gun to impress his trailer trash wife, and gets stung multiple times by the enraged swarm of insects. The fact that he was allergic to hornet stings (and never knew it) was also a contributing factor in his death.
** "Crappy Ending", A man visiting a Thailand massage parlor gets attacked by a hive of Asian Giant Hornets that were living in the parlor's wall.

** In "Card Jacked", a car thief tried to steal a rich man's muscle car and got into his garage via descending from the ceiling. Then his leg got tangled in the rope and he ended up hanging ''upside down'' for several hours, which killed him in the end.

* StuckInAChimney: One of the AssholeVictim casualties has an insane ex-girlfriend that kept stalking her boyfriend and his new beau, and that tried to get into the man's house via the chimney while they were away on vacation in order to live in and (probably) eventually catch them when they returned. Unfortunately, she got stuck on said chimney and died of dehydration... and the corpse was found by the lovebirds when they came back home and turned on the chimney, setting the corpse on fire.

* AlcoholIsGasoline: Inverted. A fugitive tries to get drunk by drinking the gasoline from his motorcycle, [[RealityEnsues only to throw up]] on his campfire and burn himself to death.

* RealityEnsues: Often a factor in many of the deaths.
** "Mile Die Club": An abusive husband tries to follow his fleeing wife by sneaking into the cargo bay of the plane she's taking to get away from him. But he fails to realize that there's a very good reason for the "No Live Animals" sign, and dies from hypothermia mid-flight.
** "Myth Busted": Sedatives are not "one size fits all". A tranquilizer designed for a large animal like a bear can very easily kill a human. One misanthrope who decides to scare off joggers by dressing up as a bigfoot learns this the hard way when he's shot with a tranquilizer dart by a park ranger.
** "Gasketball" tells the story of two teens who decide it's a good idea to play in a giant helium-filled basketball. At first, they have fun listening to their voices become high-pitched and squeaky... but then they start suffocating due to the lack of oxygen.

* {{Gorn}}: When it's described what happened, and it got gorier each season.

* AngryChef: "Chef Boy-R-Dead" features a bad-tempered, demanding head chef whose sous chef plans to plagiarize his recipes.

** A lazy husband beats himself up to avoid signing divorce papers from his wife so that way he can blame his wife for being abusive to him and put her behind bars. While he could have easily killed himself from self-inflicted injuries (his banging his head against a metal dial on the fireplace could have split his skull open no problem), it was the incompetent [=EMT=]s who caused his death when they didn't park his gurney and left him to roll down a hill and catapult into a road sign, which impales him in the stomach.
** The Libyan terrorists who sold government stockpiles to Al Qaeda. Habib's shooting demonstration could have killed them all (since this show has had people getting killed from bullets ricocheting everywhere and making Swiss cheese out of their skulls or their viscera), but instead, he hits a barrel, mislabeled as containing hummus, but which actually contained mustard gas (which caused blisters and irritation from the inside-out) and sarin gas (which scrambled their nervous system), killing everyone in the room.

** Another death has two people sneak into a neighbor's pool, which is under construction. After swimming dangerously close to submerged power cords and the man shooting a nailgun at his girlfriend's beer can, he decides to make a Slip-N-Slide using a tarp. Of course, neither of them notices the nail sticking through the tarp, which disembowels him.
** The drug addict who ingests meth, cocaine, prescription drugs, and PCP. Rather than drop dead from an overdose, he put a lava lamp in a microwave to speed it up. It explodes.
** "Cult Evaded": An orphaned Goth girl living with a Bible-thumping religious couple is subjected to an exorcism, as they fear her tattoos, piercings, and Goth boyfriend are signs that she is possessed by Satan himself. At first, you think they and their lunatic friends are going to end up killing her in the process of "driving away the Devil," but in the end, they all die from breathing the carbon monoxide fumes [[TooDumbToLive from the coal and incense they were burning in a closed tent]]. Ironically, the girl had the fortune of being in a layer of fresh air near the ground. She managed to escape, not knowing, realizing, or even caring that her foster parents are dead.
** A redneck survivalist living off the grid takes a walk with a meat hook connected to a chain. Does he die electrocuting himself by throwing the hook onto a power line so he can poach electricity for his TV? Nope. Does he die from hanging himself while trying to lift an elk carcass? Nope. Does he die by [[EpicFail falling into a ditch and impaling his throat with the meat hook]]? Hell yeah.

** Two bored Japanese-American teen boys decide to play with katanas after watching a samurai flick. You think that one of them would slice or stab the other one, right? Not really. As one boy gets ready to finish off the other, he gets stopped when his katana hits a low-hanging power line and fries his ass.

** A perverted janitor at a prep school uses a video camera to capture some scantily-clad field hockey players during practice. He manages to dodge a puck sent his way by one of the players, only to get brained a few moments later by another girl practicing her hammer throw.
** The asshole son of an exec tries to put on a motivational seminar for the company's employees. During a round of sumo wrestling in fat suits, one worker, whom he let fall during a trust exercise when he was supposed to catch her, knocks him out of the ring and down a cliff. He managed to survive unscathed... at least until he got hit by a car.
** A groupie bitch kicks out her latest boyfriend (who was passed up for a record deal) in such a hurry that he leaves his pet boa constrictor behind. The snake nearly chokes the woman to death but she tosses it off at the last minute. Later, the snake crawls up her house's exhaust pipe and blocks the air flow when the woman turns on the heater, causing carbon monoxide to back up in her house and suffocate her. Of course, she doesn't know she was dying because (a) carbon monoxide is odorless, and (b) she was drunk and thought the carbon monoxide suffocation was just her whacked out on alcohol.

** The teenage {{southies}} playing Edward Fortyhands (a drinking game in which two forty-ounce bottles of malt liquor are taped to your hands and the only way out is to drink them both). You would expect them to die from alcohol poisoning or rupturing their bladders from all that drinking (going to the bathroom in this kind of drinking game is against the rules), right? Wrong! They died from suffocating from hydrogen cyanide caused by a cigar setting fire to their couch (which had a lot of synthetic material as stuffing. It was one of those couches that would be right at home in a 1960s/1970s-style basement rumpus room).
** The mysophobic woman with obsessive-compulsive disorder falls off a ladder and hits a mirror. Miraculously, she didn't die from that. What she died from was pulling out a glass shard that was sticking from her armpit. The glass shard was keeping the blood from spilling out of her body.

** "Down With the Clown": A children's party clown out to stop Infernal Clown Posse (played by the actual members of RealLife band Insane Clown Posse) from ruining the reputation of clowns everywhere crashes one of ICP's concerts and gets hit in the head with a bottle of soda. You'd think that would directly kill him, but no. The soda did contribute to his death (soda has sodium in it in the form of salt, which makes water conducive to electricity, as proven when the birthday party clown tries to unplug ICP's speakers and gets electrocuted since he was still drenched in soda).

** "Penis De Milo": A man creates a statue to fill the void of his wife leaving him because of his art obsession. He then has sex with it and wakes up minutes later to find that his RagingStiffie is stuck in the statue. Normally, in a case like this, the man would waste away days later from dehydration and starvation. That's not what happens; what happens is the man frees himself from being [[{{Pun}} stuck in his work]] -- only to have his work crush him, break his ribs, and suffocate him.
** "Die Jump": a manipulative, amateur actress auditions for a local sports commercial by performing a high jump. She nails it, but ends up missing the mat and falling on the hard ground. She gets up, allegedly fine -- in reality, her spinal cord was fractured, but not quite broken -- at least not until a track runner plows into her, knocking her down and finishing the job.

** "Flame Retard-Ant": A {{pyromaniac}} accidentally [[ManOnFire sets himself on fire]], but he manages to put it out before he burns to death by jumping into a nearby body of water. However, the cold water causes him to go into shock and drown.

* TongueTrauma: In "Tongue Died", a scavenger who steals metal from foreclosed houses bites off his tongue when he dies by falling into an open manhole, [[TooDumbToLive whose lid he had stolen previously]].