History Series / NotTheNineOClockNews

9th Sep '16 8:14:59 AM 06tele
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* GroinAttack: Proposed as a solution for football hooliganism.
-->'''Smith''': Well, my team and I have really concerned ourselves fundamentally with a statistical analysis of soccer violence as a whole, in tandem with and related to a psycho-chemical and, broadly speaking, a behavioural analysis of over a thousand individual soccer hooligans. And we've come to the inevitable conclusion that the one course of action that the authorities must take, is to cut off their goolies.[[note]]Goolies=testicles.[[/note]]
-->'''Jones''': ...I'm sorry?
-->'''Smith''': Cut their goolies off.
-->'''Jones''': Yes. Well, [''nervous laugh''] Sally, I'm sure you'll have something to say about that point of view.
-->'''Stephenson''': Look, Jonathan...[''sighs''] I know these kids. Um, I've worked in the areas we're talking about, around Lambeth, Lewisham, I know their problems, I know their frustrations, lack of community facilities, I know their parents...and in my opinion, Professor Duff's suggestion that we should cut off their goolies is the ''only'' solution.
-->'''Smith''': Absolutely. I mean, ''cut'' the goolies off. Cut them off.
-->'''Stephenson''': ''Slice'' 'em through.
-->'''Jones''': Well, there you have it, er...
-->'''Smith''': Let 'em have it!
-->'''Stephenson''': Whip off the goolies!
-->'''Jones''': Expert opinion certainly seems to be in favour of, er...
-->'''Smith and Stephenson''': '''Cutting off their goolies!'''
9th Sep '16 7:49:34 AM 06tele
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* FishOutOfTemporalWater: Smith in the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxQqWSnsHoA "Gramophone"]] sketch, although he hasn't time-travelled, he's just...out of his depth. With a {{Jerkass}} DeadpanSnarker. The result is a HumiliationConga which climaxes with Smith having a bag put on his head and being squirted with slimline salad dressing.
-->'''Smith''': Excuse me...I wonder if you can help me. I want to buy a gramophone.
-->'''Atkinson''': A what?
-->'''Smith''': A gramophone.
-->'''Atkinson''': ''Gram-o-phone''.
-->'''Smith''': A gramophone, yes.
-->'''Atkinson''': I don't think we got any "gramophones" here, granddad.
-->'''Smith''': [''points to a turntable on the counter''] What's that?
-->'''Atkinson''': That's a Trio automatic-cut direct-drive turntable, unless I'm very much mistaken.
-->'''Smith''': Well, what's the difference between that and a gramophone?
-->'''Atkinson''': [''smirking''] About thirty years and a plastic cover to you, chief.
9th Sep '16 7:18:05 AM 06tele
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* HypocriticalHumor: Smith and Atkinson are two politicians having a shouting match on a news programme.
-->'''Smith''': This just proves how ''blind'' and ''stupid'' Denis and his party are! You know, I wonder if you know ''anything'' about economics at all.
-->'''Stevenson''': Mr Robins, your view.
-->'''Atkinson''': Well, now that Michael has allowed me to get a word in --
-->'''Smith''': HA!
-->'''Atkinson''': I must say that I've never heard such rubbish! And to think that this man is in the government is quite frightening!
-->'''Smith''': [''bellowing''] I ''resent'' that snide remark, in fact it's exactly the kind of thing I've come to expect from ''your'' kind of politician!
-->'''Atkinson''': [''stuttering with rage''] ''My'' kind of politician! If only the public knew to what depths some people will stoop when they enter the house!
-->'''Smith''': ''This'' is the kind of politician, this is the kind of politician, who-- [''Atkinson yelps, clutches his chest and falls dead to the studio floor''] ...will, will be...greatly missed. [''solemnly, to the camera''] A great...a great parliamentarian of our time, and a close personal friend. I am heartbroken.
23rd Jun '16 9:12:29 AM gewunomox
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* MileHighClub: From the song "Do Bears" by Creator/RowanAtkinson and Creator/KateBush (originally performed at ''UsefulNotes/ComicRelief 1986'' and later included on one of the ''NotTheNineOClockNews'' albums):

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* MileHighClub: From the song "Do Bears" by Creator/RowanAtkinson and Creator/KateBush Music/KateBush (originally performed at ''UsefulNotes/ComicRelief 1986'' and later included on one of the ''NotTheNineOClockNews'' ''Not the Nine O' Clock News'' albums):
27th Nov '15 5:05:27 PM nombretomado
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[[TheEighties 1980s]] British comedy SketchShow which starred and launched the careers of Mel Smith, Griff Rhys Jones, Creator/RowanAtkinson, and Pamela Stephenson[[note]]Stephenson would later become a cast member with ''SaturdayNightLive'' for the show's tenth season from 1984 to 1985[[/note]]

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[[TheEighties 1980s]] British comedy SketchShow which starred and launched the careers of Mel Smith, Griff Rhys Jones, Creator/RowanAtkinson, and Pamela Stephenson[[note]]Stephenson would later become a cast member with ''SaturdayNightLive'' ''Series/SaturdayNightLive'' for the show's tenth season from 1984 to 1985[[/note]]



* TransatlanticEquivalent: A sort of one for ''SaturdayNightLive'' (Stephenson was featured in both shows), being similarly groundbreaking and controversial at the time. However, ''NTNON'' was more political in tone, aside from not having as many guests or regular sections ''SNL'' had.

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* TransatlanticEquivalent: A sort of one for ''SaturdayNightLive'' ''Series/SaturdayNightLive'' (Stephenson was featured in both shows), being similarly groundbreaking and controversial at the time. However, ''NTNON'' was more political in tone, aside from not having as many guests or regular sections ''SNL'' had.
12th Oct '15 6:50:42 PM RAraya
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A mixture of conventional sketches, brief non sequitur punchlines of the type later popularized by ''Series/TheFastShow'', musical numbers and biting political satire, it was so called because Creator/TheBBC put it on BBC Two opposite their own BBC One ''Nine O'Clock News''. After a long fallow period during the post-Creator/MontyPython era, it was the next big thing in British TV sketch comedy, and inspired a boom in the genre during the rest of the 1980s.

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A mixture of conventional sketches, brief non sequitur punchlines of the type later popularized by ''Series/TheFastShow'', musical numbers and biting political satire, it was so called because Creator/TheBBC put it on BBC Two opposite their own BBC One ''Nine O'Clock News''. After a long fallow period during the post-Creator/MontyPython era, it its mix between alternative comedy and social commentary was the next big thing in British TV sketch comedy, and inspired a boom in the genre during the rest of the 1980s.



* AttackOfThePoliticalAd: Parodied with a political ad sketch attributed to the Conservative Party. It 'proves' extravagant spending by the Labor Party through an interactive narrator who instructs a man to do silly things in his bathtub in a particularely convoluted analogy for the economy. It ends with the man having his arms cut off to "cut down on spending".

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* AttackOfThePoliticalAd: Parodied with a political ad sketch attributed to the Conservative Party. It 'proves' extravagant spending by the Labor Labour Party through an interactive narrator who instructs a man to do silly things in his bathtub in a particularely particularly convoluted analogy for the economy. It ends with the man having his arms cut off to "cut down on spending".spending".
** Another one, this time for Labour, resembled a movie trailer for the trainwreck of a final term for Harry Wilson, with the slogan "Labour is... never bothering to say ''you're'' sorry".
25th Sep '15 3:37:23 AM Morgenthaler
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24th Aug '15 4:36:13 AM Morgenthaler
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* AttackOfThePoliticalAd: Parodied with a political ad sketch attributed to the Conservative Party. It 'proves' extravagant spending by the Labor Party through an interactive narrator who instructs a man to do silly things in his bathtub in a particularely convoluted analogy for the economy. It ends with the man having his arms cut off to "cut down on spending".
17th Aug '15 2:31:18 PM MRAustin
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* IncessantMusicMadness: Gryff-Rhys Jones plays a colonial planter, driven to drink by the noise of the jungle, who staggers drunkenly onto the verandah and demands, "Will you shut up! Will this damn noise never end!" The camera pans back, revealing that what we have taken to be the chittering of night insect noise is really 30 or 40 natives, each of whom is playing with a Rubik's Cube...

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* IncessantMusicMadness: Gryff-Rhys Jones plays a colonial planter, driven to drink by the noise of the jungle, who staggers drunkenly onto the verandah and demands, "Will you shut up! Will this damn noise never end!" The camera pans back, revealing that what we have taken to be the chittering of night insect noise is really 30 or 40 natives, each of whom is playing with a Rubik's Cube...Cube.
** A similar sketch featured Rowan Atkinson opening a window and shouting "Why don't you grow up, you little bastards!" When questioned by his wife, he clarifies that he was talking to their plants.
17th Aug '15 2:28:37 PM MRAustin
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** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APMdeQFCGMQ Baronet Oswald Ernald Mosley.]] [[note]] The gushing obituary quotes they include in the song are all ''absolutely genuine'', despite Mosley being such an inveterate fascist that he was interned from 1940-43.[[/note]]

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** [[http://www.[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APMdeQFCGMQ com/watch?v=LPCZvYu0QBA Baronet Oswald Ernald Mosley.]] [[note]] The gushing obituary quotes they include in the song are all ''absolutely genuine'', despite Mosley being such an inveterate fascist that he was interned from 1940-43. [[/note]]
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