History Recap / StarTrekDeepSpaceNineS05E03LookingForParMachInAllTheWrongPlaces

* TheyDo: After many episodes of BelligerentSexualTension, Worf and Dax finally hook up.

* AmicablyDivorced: Quark and Grilka.

* WaxingLyrical Quark muses, "War, what is it good for? If you ask me, absolutely nothing." Of course, this is a light paraphrase of the chorus of Edwin Star's song "War (What Is It Good For)."

Quark seeks Dax for help in seduce Grilka. She teaches him traditional Klingon courtship and trains him in a holosuite program that is considered romantic. Grilka is impressed and asks him why he's pursuing her. He says that, as a Ferengi, he prizes things of great value. This is too much for Thopok, who challenges Quark to a duel. Meanwhile, Kira decides to create some distance from O'Brien by going on vacation. [[DramaticallyMissingThePoint Still oblivious to their budding romance]], Keiko insists that O'Brien accompany her to keep their baby safe.

Bashir and Quark eavesdrop on an domestic argument coming from O'Brien's quarters, but they're met by Keiko in the hall, revealing that the chief has been arguing with Kira this whole time. Later, Worf and Dax discuss Klingon opera at the replimat when Worf spots a beautiful Klingon maiden and falls instantly in love. He ditches Dax and follows her to Quark's, where she embraces Quark as an old friend. It turns out that she's Grilka, the Klingon noblewoman [[Recap/StarTrekDeepSpaceNineS03E03TheHouseOfQuark whom Quark briefly married]].

* TheMatchmaker: Jadzia for Worf.

* NationalWeapon: Bat'leths, of course.

* ProudWarriorRace: Klingons.

* WhatYouAreInTheDark: Miles and Kira.
* {{Worldbuilding}}: Klingon customs and legends as told to Quark by Worf.

* ApologeticAttacker: Worf whispers to Morn, "I will apologize for this later" before tossing him off a bar stool and shouting "You are in my seat!" to [[WomenPreferStrongMen impress Grilka]].

-->'''Dax''': ''[to Worf]'' It sounds like you have a bad case of Par'mach.\\

'''Dax''': ''Par'mach'' is the Klingon word for "love", but with more aggressive overtones.

'''Dax''': ''Par'mach'' the Klingon word for "love", but with more aggressive overtones.

'''Sisko''': I hope that's not contagious.\\
'''Dax''': It's the Klingon word for "love"--but with more aggressive overtones.

* DeliberareValuesDissonance: The A-plot is driven by the intricacies of Klingon courtship, which is alien to both Human and Ferengi.

Bashir and Quark eavesdrop on an argument coming from O'Brien's quarters, but they're met by Keiko, in the hall, revealing that the chief has been arguing with Kira this whole time. Later, Worf and Dax discuss Kilingon opera at the replimat when Work spots a beautiful Klingon maiden and falls instantly in love. He ditches Dax and follows her to Quark's, where the Klingon embraces Quark as an old friend. It turns out that she's Grilka, the Klingon noblewoman [[Recap/StarTrekDeepSpaceNineS03E03TheHouseOfQuark whom Quark briefly married]].

Grilka has come to Deep Space Nine to get some financial advice from Quark, though Klingon rules of etiquette require Quark to volunteer his help on his own. In spite of their cultural differences, the AmicablyDivorced couple enjoy each other's company. But Worf wants her for himself. He picks a fight with Grilka's bodyguard Thopok as a means to court her, but her chamberlain takes him aside to politely remind him that a match between a Klingon noblewoman and an outcast is impossible. Worf accepts defeat and slinks away.

Meanwhile, O'Brien and Kira are still squabbling as the chief tends to her hand and foot to ensure the health of his unborn child. Bashir cracks jokes about how involved O'Brien has become with Kira, but the chief has no sense of humor about it. But in the midst of a massage, the pair realize that their relationship is dangerously close to becoming romance, while Keiko obliviously continues to support their behavior.

Quark seeks Dax for help in courting Grilka. She teaches him Klingon romance and trains him in a holosuite program that is considered romantic to them. Grilka is impressed and asks him why he's pursuing her. He says that, as a Ferengi, he prizes things of great value. This is too much for Thopok, who challenges Quark to a duel. Meanwhile, Kira decides to create some distance from O'Brien by going on vacation. [[DramaticallyMissingThePoint Still oblivious to their budding romance]], Keiko insists that O'Brien accompany her to keep their baby safe.

Dax and Worf help Quark by rigging up some [[NeuralImplanting neural implants]] that allow Worf to move Quark like a puppet. Although still disdainful for the Ferengi's advances on Grilka, he fights for Quark during the duel and holds his own until the link breaks. Without Worf's help, Quark is dead meat, so he stalls by insisting on his Ferengi right to deliver a speech. Grilka decides to honor his request. Quark launches into a [[HoldingTheFloor rambling filibuster]] while, just next door, Dax scrambles to repair the neural link. When it's repaired, Quark abandons his speech and promptly defeats Thopok. Unaware of what to do now, Quark lets Worf puppet him into handing Thopok's bat'leth to Grilka, who restores it to Thopok dismisses him from her service with his honor intact. Quark and Grilka then depart for some alone time.

As O'Brien and Kira prepare to go on their unwanted vacation, Kira reveals that their destination is perhaps the most romantic destination on Bajor. In spite of their obvious attraction, they decide to make up an excuse for O'Brien to skip the vacation and so nip this romance in the bud. They agree it would have been nice "in another life" before Kira urges O'Brien to [[GetOut get the hell out]].

Worf is still resentful of helping a Ferengi score a Klingon, but Dax angrily states that Quark saw an opportunity when it presented itself, which Worf himself has failed to do. Worf still doesn't get the signals that Dax is sending him, so she spites some Klingon at him and tosses him on his ass. Finally on the same wavelength, Worf gets down for some traditional Klingon DestructoNookie. Later, both couples arrive at sick bay to tend their post-coital wounds, and Bashir decides not to stop asking questions about what they've been doing

As O'Brien and Kira prepare to go on their unwanted vacation, Kira reveals that their destination is perhaps the most romantic destination on Bajor. In spite of their obvious attraction, they decide to make up an excuse for O'Brien to skip the vacation and so nip this romance in the bud. They agree it would have been nice "in another life" before Kira urges O'Brien to get the hell out.

* PlayingCyrano: Worf trains Quark in how to woo Klingon matriarch Grilka, the Ferengi's one-time wife. Worf is infatuated with her himself, but he is an exile, disgraced in the eyes of Klingon culture. He's also provoked by being told that being raised among humans would render him too socially ignorant to court a Klingon woman.

* ShoutOut: [[ProtestSong War. What is it good for?]] [[WaxingLyrical If you ask Quark, absolutely nothing.]] [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer Yes, he actually says that.]][[note]][[HypocriticalHumor Then again, The 34th Rule of Acquisition says "War is good for business"]] And the 35th says "Peace is good for business".[[/note]]

Relations between the Klingons and the Federation are improving again, and so the Klingon noblewoman Grilka comes to Deep Space Nine for a social visit (actually to get some financial advice from Quark). [[Recap/StarTrekDeepSpaceNineS03E03TheHouseOfQuark Previously,]] Grilka had had a temporary nominal marriage to Quark to provide a male chief until she could get a dispensation to rule her [[TheClan clan]] personally. Now she wants to see Quark again and [[AmicablyDivorced discuss old times.]]

Worf attempts to court her but her Chamberlain, as politely as possible, tells him that as a member of an [[ThePenance ostracized house]] he is strictly unavailable. At the same time Quark falls in love with Grilka and goes to Worf for advice. Worf gives him some lessons on Klingon manners and traditions which he uses to win Grilka's heart. This enrages Grilka's bodyguard, who challenges Quark to a duel. Quark of course is a Ferengi and [[ReluctantWarrior not good with such matters]]. So using a device Dax has invented, it is arranged for Quark to be [[NeuralImplanting mechanically controlled]] by Worf who of course ''does'' know how to handle a Bat'leth. Quark and Grilka's bodyguard fight for a while. Then the device breaks down. With a display of Ferengi fast talk, Quark demands the "Ferengi Right of Proclamation" and [[HoldingTheFloor filibusters]] his way through the time it takes Dax to repair the device. Then Worf finishes the duel, the bodyguard is spared but humiliated and is fired and sent on his way. Grilka and Quark go off to enjoy a passionate romance. Meanwhile Dax, seeing Worf still obsessed with Grilka and oblivious to her, challenges him to an... ''intense practice'' match. Finally Quark and Grilka, then Worf and Dax, show up in Doctor Bashir's sickbay after [[DestructoNookie having some fun, Klingon style]]. When the latter couple arrives, Julian [[TooMuchInformation resolves to stop asking people how they hurt themselves]].

In a subplot Kira is carrying the O'Briens' child which has been transferred into her womb to prevent a miscarriage. Chief O'Brien is fulfilling his role as expectant father, by giving his pregnant partner daily massages. Deciding that they are becoming too attached to one another, they agree that Kira should take a vacation. Keiko [[DramaticallyMissingThePoint innocently insists]] on Miles accompanying Kira to take care of the baby. When they enter the shuttle, Kira admits that the place she was planning on going to is one of the most romantic spots on Bajor. Shaken by how close they have come to betraying Keiko the two break away from each other and Kira's last words are, "Miles, get out!"

This episode was written by Ronald D. Moore and directed by Creator/AndrewRobinson (who plays the major recurring character Garak).

* [[AbductionIsLove Abduction Is Amiable Affection]]: The way Quark and Grilka met.

In a subplot Kira is carrying the O'Briens' child which has been transferred into her womb to prevent a miscarriage. Chief O'Brien is fulfilling his role as expectant father, by giving his pregnant partner daily massages. Deciding that they are becoming too attached to one another, they agree that Kira should take a vacation. Keiko [[CompletelyMissingThePoint innocently insists]] on Miles accompanying Kira to take care of the baby. When they enter the shuttle, Kira admits that the place she was planning on going to is one of the most romantic spots on Bajor. Shaken by how close they have come to betraying Keiko the two break away from each other and Kira's last words are, "Miles, get out!"

** As with K'Ehleyr, Worf points out to Dax that traditionally they should get married after having sex. Given his CharacterDevelopment since then, he agrees with Dax's suggestion that they take it one day at a time and see what happens.

* OhCrap: Quark when the puppeteering device is broken.

* ContinuityNod: As with K'Ehleyr, Worf points out to Dax that traditionally they should get married after having sex. Given his CharacterDevelopment since then, he agrees with Dax's suggestion that they take it one day at a time and see what happens.

* FriendsWithBenefits: Quark and Grilka.