History Recap / GleeS2E14BlameItOnTheAlcohol

* NoBisexuals: Kurt believes that bisexuality doesn't exist when talking to his love interest Blaine who is questioning his sexuality after drunk kissing Rachel. Though Kurt may just be jealous). They aren't a thing. Thanks, Ryan Murphy.

* HilariousInHindsight: During a game of "Spin The Bottle", Brittany and Sam make out before Santana breaks them up saying "no me gusta". Flash forward a season and half later and [[spoiler: the two will become a couple for the fourth season only]].

* IncrediblyLamePun: Blaine would say "bi"[[note]] "Bye'' [[/note]], but doesn't want to offend Kurt.

* VomitIndiscretionShot: All over Rachel.

* IncompatibleOrientation: Rachel and Blaine.

* NoBisexuals: They aren't a thing. Thanks, Murphy.
* OdeToIntoxication: The last three songs.

-->'''Rachel:''' '''IT TASTES LIKE PINK! IT TASTES LIKE PINK!!!'''

We return from break to see said bottle in action, with Sam and Brittany having their turn -- Santana, disgusted, trying to split them up. It's now Rachel's turn, and the bottle lands on... Blaine, and they both really like it, much to Kurt's dismay. He'll become even less amused as the episode progresses. It's his turn to be almost negatively hysterical in breaking them up, but Rachel is not done. Seems this has given her the bug for a song and in a case of WhatCouldHaveBeen had Creator/DarrenCriss got the role of Finn, we see Blainechel get their Human League on while Kurt sits perturbed. The next morning, we cut to Papa Burt asking Kurt for help with breakfast, entering his apparent new bedroom (that returns to the basement as soon as it moved) to find a figure swaddled in his bed. We are of course led to believe it's Kurt, when he pokes his head out of his bathroom. It thus surprises no one to find out Blaine's in there nursing the hangover, Papa Burt putting 2 and 2 together, and coming up with 22[[spoiler:, as well as {{Foreshadowing}} certain events next season]].

* CallBack: In "Britney/Brittany", Brittany mentioned that she wanted to do a Ke$ha song. She sings [="TiK ToK"=] in this episode

* IncrediblyLamePun: Blaine would say "bi", but doesn't want to offend Kurt.

Cut to the kids, finally, with Rachel in the choir room trying original songs as Puck approaches; seems Hiram and [=LeRoy=] (he knows this through his mom) are on a cruise and thus Rachel is home alone. However, as he's with Zizes, there will be no third makeout session, instead he wants a party. Rachel naturally says no way, however we all know where this is going. Title, duh. Puck leaves as Finn arrives. Rachel embraces him, thanking him for his help and trying to defuse any awkwardness they may still have. Yeah, that's kinda impossible on account of it being really freaking obvious you're still in love with each other. Besides, if Music/CaroleKing could do it... Anyway, Rachel postures a bit, before presenting her music thus far, a song called "My Headband". Finn tells her it's bad because it lacks emotion [[note]]It's also bad because [[StylisticSuck it's a really stupid song.]][[/note]] Rachel decides then to accept Puck's proposal and hold a party at her house -- a conference call between the other gleeks unveils the title of Rachel Berry House Party Train Wreck Extravaganza -- while her dads are gone, and also asks the Mohawked Menace to supply wine coolers.

We return from break to find Beiste pouring Will into his place. A drunken Will thanks Shannon for the night, Beiste saying that whilst they can't stop them, they can at least tell kids about the dangers of drinking. We see some of those dangers as Will tries to grade papers, but can only give out smiley faces and A+'s across the board (you tried!). Then, because booze lifts inhibitions, Will, because of course, drunk dials who he thinks and we are supposed to believe is Emma. It's not. Cut to a wonderfully hungover Will arriving at school and coming across Figgins and then Emma, whom he tries to apologize to before she says he never called her. Therefore, process of elimination leads us to ol' Tracksuit. Seriously, Will, are your contacts organised alphabetically by surname? Even so, no Sandy Ryerson separating the two?

The New Directions are getting ready to perform backstage at the assembly: this is where [[spoiler: the d plot]] the main plot of the episode comes into play. Figgins had asked the glee club to perform at the anti alcohol assembly, and they decide to perform some [[spoiler: Key-Dollarsign-ha]] Music/{{Kesha}}. They're nervous due to not getting enough rehearsal. As in, none at all. Rachel arrives with something to calm them down: [[{{Squick}} Brandy, Vermouth, Port Wine, Scotch, Kool-Aid, crumbled Oreos, cough syrup]]. Can you guess the inevitable outcome? We're ogling [=HeMo=] in her daisy dukes, and it's going pretty well until Brit-Brit pukes all over Rachel towards the end of the song. Then everyone starts throwing up. Schue's head drops and the thought of oh, the trouble you'll get into. Speaking of, we start the home stretch with Sue playing the tape of Will drunk dialing her, the cameras activate and cut to the intended recipient's face turning as red as her hair, looking like she wishes he actually did drunk dial her. Then we get the priceless faces of New Directions in Figgins' office ready to face the music. However, Figgins thought they planned it -- some acting, SFX to scare the kids straight -- seeing the performance as a warning about the less glamorous side of alcohol, and hands around some half off Froyo coupons (that are already expired). Will gets handed a meeting with Figgins' pastor. Fair trade. After both the club's squicktastic performance and Schue's public embarassment, Will decides to make the club sign a pledge saying that they won't drink until after Nationals, giving them his number in case they slip up. We end at the Lima Bean, where Rachel kisses Blaine when Kurt gets coffee with him, only for him to find that he [[spoiler:was hired to be Kurt's love interest and a self-discovery tangent would be counterproductive and thus]] is "100% gay". Rachel, however, is surprisingly happy because this is "songwriting gold". Hurray.

* "Tik Tok" by Music/{{Kesha}}, performed by Brittany

* CallBack: in Brittany/Britney, Brittany mentioned that she wanted to do a Ke$ha song. She sings [="TiK ToK"=] in this episode

Cut to the kids, finally, with Rachel in the choir room trying original songs as Puck approaches; seems Hiram and [=LeRoy=] (he knows this through his mom) are on a cruise and thus Rachel is home alone. However, as he's with Zizes, there will be no third makeout session, instead he wants a party. Rachel naturally says no way, however we all know where this is going. Title, duh. Puck leaves as Finn arrives. Rachel embraces him, thanking him for his help and trying to defuse any awkwardness they may still have. Yeah, that's kinda impossible on account of it being really freaking obvious you're still in love with each other. Besides, if Creator/CaroleKing could do it... Anyway, Rachel postures a bit, before presenting her music thus far, a song called "My Headband". Finn tells her it's bad because it lacks emotion [[note]]It's also bad because [[StylisticSuck it's a really stupid song.]][[/note]] Rachel decides then to accept Puck's proposal and hold a party at her house -- a conference call between the other gleeks unveils the title of Rachel Berry House Party Train Wreck Extravaganza -- while her dads are gone, and also asks the Mohawked Menace to supply wine coolers.

* HilariousInHindsight: During a game of "Spin The Bottle", Brittany and Sam make out before Santana breaks them up saying "no me gusta". Flash forward a season and half later and [[spoiler: the two will partake in the most nauseating "romance" in Glee history]].

Cut to the kids, finally, with Rachel in the choir room trying original songs as Puck approaches; seems Hiram and [=LeRoy=] (he knows this through his mom) are on a cruise and thus Rachel is home alone. However, as he's with Zizes, there will be no third makeout session, instead he wants a party. Rachel naturally says no way, however we all know where this is going. Title, duh. Puck leaves as Finnegan arrives. Rachel embraces him, thanking him for his help and trying to defuse any awkwardness they may still have. Yeah, that's kinda impossible on account of it being really freaking obvious you're still in love with each other. Besides, if Creator/CaroleKing could do it... Anyway, Rachel postures a bit, before presenting her music thus far, a song called "My Headband". Finn tells her it's bad because it lacks emotion [[note]]It's also bad because [[StylisticSuck it's a really stupid song.]][[/note]] Rachel decides then to accept Puck's proposal and hold a party at her house -- a conference call between the other gleeks unveils the title of Rachel Berry House Party Train Wreck Extravaganza -- while her dads are gone, and also asks the Mohawked Menace to supply wine coolers.

Cut to seriously? A painting of Rachel. Well, if we ever needed proof this was her house. It's definitely apropos. Rachel greets everyone dressed in her finest curtains (seriously, this girl be in a dress that has never -- and should never -- be seen since that awkward photoshoot you did as a five year old in TheNineties) as we cut to the Berry basement and everyone looking [[SarcasmMode so eager to be there]]. Kurt has Blaine as his +1, while Finn has been strongarmed into showing as a result of the step-brother finding some incriminating internet history. Everyone is getting ready to get wasted -- except Finnegan, serving as designated driver and thus not partaking, and Kurt[[note]]and though it's acting, this is kind-of funny: Chris wasn't old enough to drink, and Cory was sober at the time, so had actual drinking been required, their actors would have elected to take these roles any way[[/note]] as we know that leads to a NonSequiturThud and [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOfkEPSZpGg not holding down-ness]], and he's trying to impress Blaine. Blaine himself is out of the uniform and off the clock, now where's the booze?

Now with lameness established (and you must drink to forget that it sucks), Rachel tries to offer drink tickets for wine coolers, but everyone sees said suckiness and prepares to bolt. Rachel finally realizes how wild she must be in order to be in the right frame of mind for songwriting, so she has Noah pull out the heavy stuff. And thus, we get New Directions completely and utterly tanked, complete with Rachel remarking "[[TastesLikePurple IT TASTES LIKE PINK!]]" and Santana doing body shots off of Brittany's abs, something I'm sure she's done many a time before. In the midst of all this, Finn, for once the sane one in the pack, gently pries a clingy Rachel off and explains to her the various kinds of drunks out there: Weepy Hysterical (Santana), Angry (Zizes and Quinn), Stripper (Brittany), Happy (Tina and Mercedes), and Needy (Rachel). And, this being needy, is not cute. Rachel, perhaps drunk, perhaps unimpressed, perhaps something completely different, decides to start a game of spin the bottle.

Lounge. Will is lamenting to Bieste about how to get ND to understand the dangers when he himself drank a lot more at that age. The ever empathetic coach suspects more than that, and Will lets it out about his divorce, Sue being Aural Intensity's coach, and Emma finding a house. When asked what he does for stress relief, Will says he exercises. Bieste tells him to do something silly, and then takes him to her stress relief, a honky-tonk cowboy bar.

Blaine then points out more hypocrisy, saying that Karofsky drove Kurt out because he didn't like Kurt for who he was... which is what Kurt's doing to him. He says that sexuality aside, he's trying to find himself, and for Kurt to rag on him on that, Blaine didn't think that's who Kurt was. He bails as we cut to adult world, and that honky-tonk bar where we see Will and Bieste having all manner of fun:

We return from break to find Bieste pouring Will into his place. A drunken Will thanks Shannon for the night, Bieste saying that whilst they can't stop them, they can at least tell kids about the dangers of drinking. We see some of those dangers as Will tries to grade papers, but can only give out smiley faces and A+'s across the board (you tried!). Then, because booze lifts inhibitions, Will, because of course, drunk dials who he thinks and we are supposed to believe is Emma. It's not. Cut to a wonderfully hungover Will arriving at school and coming across Figgins and then Emma, whom he tries to apologize to before she says he never called her. Therefore, process of elimination leads us to ol' Tracksuit. Seriously, Will, are your contacts organised alphabetically by surname? Even so, no Sandy Ryerson separating the two?

* "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer" by George Thorogood, performed by Will and Coach Bieste

Lounge. Will is lamenting to Bieste about how to get ND to understand the dangers when he himself drank a lot more at that age. The ever empathetic coach suspects more than that, and Will lets it out about his divorce, Sue being Aural Intensity's coach, and Emma finding a house. When asked what he does for stress relief, Will says he exercises. Bieste tells him to do something silly, and then takes him to her stress relief, a honky-tonk bar.

After the break we see Rachel, glass of bubbly in hand, making a phone call. Blaine picks up said call: turns out Rachel is still thinking about the kiss and asks Blaine out [[LiquidCourage (if you have to be drunk to do it, do you really want to do it?)]]. Blaine says yes, which Kurt is also not happy about, and then Blaine tells Kurt he might be confused about his sexuality, which Kurt is very much not happy about. [[CaptainObvious Did we mention that Kurt has major problems with the whole Rachel/Blaine thing]]? Blaine offers up a point; having never actually dated anyone, he can't honestly say what his preferences are. Sort-of a point. Maybe. Not helping the anti-"you just haven't found the right guy/girl" case, there. Kurt doesn't care, and he REALLY doesn't care when Blaine suggest he's bi. And this leads to a line of dialog that is just (even more) utterly stupid:

* CrackPairing: Blaine + Rachel, just to add to the pile.

* "Don't You Want Me" by The Human League, performed by Rachel and Blaine

The New Directions are getting ready to perform backstage at the assembly: this is where [[spoiler: the d plot]] the main plot of the episode comes into play. Figgins had asked the glee club to perform at the anti alcohol assembly, and they decide to perform some [[spoiler: Key-Dollarsign-ha]] Music/{{Kesha}}. They're nervous due to not getting enough rehearsal. As in, none at all. Rachel arrives with something to calm them down: [[{{Squick}} Brandy, Vermouth, Port Wine, Scotch, Kool-Aid, crumbled Oreos, cough syrup]]. Can you guess the inevitable outcome? We're ogling HeMo in her daisy dukes, and it's going pretty well until Brit-Brit pukes all over Rachel towards the end of the song. Then everyone starts throwing up. Schue's head drops and the thought of oh, the trouble you'll get into. Speaking of, we start the home stretch with Sue playing the tape of Will drunk dialing her, the cameras activate and cut to the intended recipient's face turning as red as her hair, looking like she wishes he actually did drunk dial her. Then we get the priceless faces of New Directions in Figgins' office ready to face the music. However, Figgins thought they planned it -- some acting, SFX to scare the kids straight -- seeing the performance as a warning about the less glamorous side of alcohol, and hands around some half off Froyo coupons (that are already expired). Will gets handed a meeting with Figgins' pastor. Fair trade. After both the club's squicktastic performance and Schue's public embarassment, Will decides to make the club sign a pledge saying that they won't drink until after Nationals, giving them his number in case they slip up. We end at the Lima Bean, where Rachel kisses Blaine when Kurt gets coffee with him, only for him to find that he [[spoiler:was hired to be Kurt's love interest and a self-discovery tangent would be counterproductive and thus]] is "100% gay". Rachel, however, is surprisingly happy because this is "songwriting gold". Hurray.

The New Directions are getting ready to perform backstage at the assembly: this is where [[spoiler: the d plot]] the main plot of the episode comes into play. Figgins had asked the glee club to perform at the anti alcohol assembly, and they decide to perform "Tik Tok" by [[spoiler: Key-Dollarsign-ha]] Music/{{Kesha}}. They're nervous due to not getting enough rehearsal. As in, none at all. Rachel arrives with something to calm them down: [[{{Squick}} Brandy, Vermouth, Port Wine, Scotch, Kool-Aid, crumbled Oreos, cough syrup]]. Can you guess the inevitable outcome? We're ogling HeMo in her daisy dukes, and it's going pretty well until Brit-Brit pukes all over Rachel towards the end of the song. Then everyone starts throwing up. Schue's head drops and the thought of oh, the trouble you'll get into. Speaking of,

Remember when Will drunk dialed Emma? Yeah, turns out he drunk dialed Sue, and Sue plays the tape of Will. Cameras activate and cut to the intended recipient's face turning as red as her hair, looking like she wishes he only did drunk dial her. Then we get the priceless faces of New Directions in Figgins' office ready to face the music. However, Figgins thought they planned it -- some acting, SFX to scare the kids straight -- seeing the performance as a warning about the less glamorous side of alcohol, and hands around some half off Froyo coupons (that are already expired). Will gets handed a meeting with Figgins' pastor. Fair trade. After both the club's squicktastic performance and Schue's public embarassment, Will decides to make the club sign a pledge saying that they won't drink until after Nationals, giving them his number in case they slip up. We end at the Lima Bean, where Rachel kisses Blaine when Kurt gets coffee with him, only for him to find that he [[spoiler:was hired to be Kurt's love interest and a self-discovery tangent would be counterproductive]] is "100% gay". Rachel, however, is surprisingly happy because this is "songwriting gold". Hurray.

* HilariousInHindsight: During a game of "Spin The Bottle", Brittany and Sam make out before Santana breaks them up saying "no me gusta". Flash forward a season and half later and the two start dating, leading Brittana fans (and most Gleeks in general) to say the same thing.

The New Directions are getting ready to perform backstage at the assembly: this is where [[strike: the d plot]] the main plot of the episode comes into play. Figgins had asked the glee club to perform at the anti alcohol assembly, and they decide to perform "Tik Tok" by [[strike: Key-Dollarsign-ha]] Music/{{Kesha}}. They're nervous due to not getting enough rehearsal. As in, none at all. Rachel arrives with something to calm them down: [[{{Squick}} Brandy, Vermouth, Port Wine, Scotch, Kool-Aid, crumbled Oreos, cough syrup]]. Can you guess the inevitable outcome? We're ogling HeMo in her daisy dukes, and it's going pretty well until Brit-Brit pukes all over Rachel towards the end of the song. Then everyone starts throwing up. Schue's head drops and the thought of oh, the trouble you'll get into. Speaking of,

Remember when Will drunk dialed Emma? Yeah, turns out he drunk dialed Sue, and Sue plays the tape of Will. Cameras activate and cut to the intended recipient's face turning as red as her hair, looking like she wishes he only did drunk dial her. Then we get the priceless faces of New Directions in Figgins' office ready to face the music. However, Figgins thought they planned it -- some acting, SFX to scare the kids straight -- seeing the performance as a warning about the less glamorous side of alcohol, and hands around some half off Froyo coupons (that are already expired). Will gets handed a meeting with Figgins' pastor. Fair trade. After both the club's squicktastic performance and Schue's public embarassment, Will decides to make the club sign a pledge saying that they won't drink until after Nationals, giving them his number in case they slip up. We end at the Lima Bean, where Rachel kisses Blaine when Kurt gets coffee with him, only for him to find that he [[strike:was hired to be Kurt's love interest and a self-discovery tangent would be counterproductive]] is "100% gay". Rachel, however, is surprisingly happy because this is "songwriting gold". Hurray.

Initially the party sucks as badly as "My Headband", but once Puck gets into Rachel's dads' liquor cabinet the party gets crazy fast. Everyone gets drunk except for Finn (the designated driver) and Kurt [[ (who can't hold his liquor)]]. After Rachel spends a large chunk of the night clinging to Finn, he tells her that what she's doing isn't cute, and then she starts a game of spin the bottle. She ends up kissing Blaine after a few rounds, and they both really like it, much to Kurt's dismay.

Cut to seriously? A painting of Rachel. Well, if we ever needed proof this was her house. It's definitely apropos. Rachel greets everyone dressed in her finest curtains (seriously, this girl be in a dress that has never -- and should never -- be seen since that awkward photoshoot you did as a five year old in TheNineties) as we cut to the Berry basement and everyone looking [[SarcasmMode so eager to be there]]. Kurt has Blaine as his +1, while Finn has been strongarmed into showing as a result of the step-brother finding some incriminating internet history. Everyone is getting ready to get wasted -- except Finnegan, serving as designated driver and thus won't partake, and Kurt[[note]]and though it's acting, this is kind-of funny: Chris wasn't old enough to drink, and Cory was sober at the time, so had actual drinking been required, their actors would have elected to take these roles any way[[/note]] as we know that leads to a NonSequiturThud and [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOfkEPSZpGg not holding down]], and he's trying to impress Blaine. Blaine himself is out of the uniform and off the clock, now where's the booze?

Now with lameness established (and you must drink to forget that it sucks), Rachel tries to offer drink tickets for wine coolers, but everyone sees said suckiness and prepares to bolt. Rachel finally realizes how wild she must be in order to be in the right frame of mind for songwriting, so she has Noah pull out the heavy stuff. And thus, we get New Directions completely and utterly tanked, complete with Rachel remarking "[[TastesLikePurple IT TASTES LIKE PINK!]]" and Santana doing body shots off of Brittany's abs, something I'm sure she's done many a time before. In the midst of all this, Finn, for once the sane one in the pack, gently pries a clingy Rachel off and explains the various kinds of drunks out there; namely, Weepy Hysterical (Santana), Angry (Zizes and Quinn), Stripper (Brittany), Happy (Tina and Mercedes), and Needy (Rachel). And, this being needy, is not cute. Rachel, perhaps drunk, perhaps unimpressed, perhaps something completely different, decides to start a game of spin the bottle.

Cut to the kids, finally, with Rachel in the choir room trying original songs as Puck approaches; seems Hiram and [=LeRoy=] (he knows this through his mom) are on a cruise and thus Rachel is home alone. However, as he's with Zizes, there will be no third makeout session, instead he wants a party. Rachel naturally says no way, however we all know where this is going. Title, duh. Puck leaves as Finnegan arrives. Rachel embraces him, thanking him for his help and trying to defuse any awkwardness they may still have. Yeah, that's kinda impossible on account of it being really freaking obvious you're still in love with each other. Besides, if Creator/CaroleKing could do it... Anyway, Rachel postures a bit, before presenting her music thus far, a song called "My Headband". As you've guessed, it sucks, and Finn says as much, before telling her she needs to open up a bit to get in the right frame of mind. As such, we conference call with Brittana, Artcedes and Puck, establishing the Rachel Berry House Party Trainwreck Extravanganza is officially a go.

Cut to seriously? A painting of Rachel. Well, if we ever needed proof this was her house. It's definitely apropos. Rachel greets everyone dressed in her finest curtains (seriously, this girl be in a dress that has never -- and should never -- be seen since that awkward photoshoot you did as a five year old in TheNineties) as we cut to the Berry basement and everyone looking [[SarcasmMode so eager to be there]]. Kurt has Blaine as his +1, while Finnegan serves as designated driver and thus won't partake. Neither will Kurt[[note]]and though it's acting, this is kind-of funny: Chris wasn't old enough to drink, and Cory was sober at the time, so had actual drinking been required, their actors would have elected to take these roles any way[[/note]] as we know that leads to a NonSequiturThud and Technicolor Yawn. Finn says Kurt saw Finn's porn collection and strongarmed him into showing, while Blaine is out of the uniform and off the clock.

Now with lameness established, Rachel tries to offer drink tickets for wine coolers, but everyone sees said lameness and prepares to bolt. Rachel finally realizes how wild she must be in order to be in the right frame of mind for songwriting, so she has Noah pull out the heavy stuff. And thus, we get New Directions completely and utterly tanked, complete with Rachel remarking "[[TastesLikePurple IT TASTES LIKE PINK!]]" and Santana doing body shots off of Brittany's abs, something I'm sure she's done many a time before. In the midst of all this, Finn, for once the sane one in the pack, gently pries a clingy Rachel off and explains the various kinds of drunks out there; namely, Weepy Hysterical (Santana), Angry (Zizes and Quinn), Stripper (Brittany), Happy (Tina and Mercedes), and Needy (Rachel). Puck/Sam/Mike/Artie need not apply. Rachel, not thrilled at being called needy, decides to try and prove Finnegan wrong with some spin the bottle while said statue stands there bemused.

We return from break to see said bottle in action, [[spoiler: and in some unintentional and unfortunate {{Foreshadowing}} of one of the most utterly hideous sights in Glee history,]] Sam and Brittany are getting their pecks while Santana stands disgusted[[spoiler:, as will we all in two seasons time]]. It's then Rachel's turn, and the bottle lands on... Blaine. And needless to say, Kurt is not amused. He'll become less amused as the episode progresses. He's almost negatively hysterical in breaking them up, but Rachel is not done. Seems this has given her the bug for a song and in a case of WhatCouldHaveBeen had Creator/DarrenCriss got the role of Finn, we see Blainechel get their Human League on while Kurt sits perturbed. The next morning, we cut to Papa Burt asking Kurt for help with breakfast, entering his apparent new bedroom (that returns to the basement as soon as it moved) to find a figure swaddled in his bed. We are of course led to believe it's Kurt, when he pokes his head out of his bathroom. It thus surprises no one to find out Blaine's in there nursing the hangover, Papa Burt putting 2 and 2 together, and coming up with 22[[spoiler:, as well as {{Foreshadowing}} certain events next season]]. Speaking of hangovers, we cut to ND arriving at school looking like death warmed over. Artie produces some bloody marys, "hair of the dog that dun bit yo ass". And of course, this leads to a number appropriate for the occasion, ND in the auditorium trying their damnedest not to look like they're sozzled out of their beans. Of course, Will points that out, applauding them for "acting" like they're D-runk. He then says that, as you've might've guessed, their heart's in the right place, but [[OdeToIntoxication the song?]] Not so much, since it seems to defeat the purpose. He then mentions that alcohol poisoning kills 400 people a year and that sets Santana's tear ducts off. Quinn claims hypocrisy, Puck agreeing, citing the various booze ads out there, and that all the songs only champion getting plastered. And of course they knows about the dangers. Right, current states prove otherwise. Will tells the kids to try again.

After the break we see Rachel, glass of bubbly in hand, making a phone call as we then cut to the Lima Bean where Blaine picks up said call. Turns out Rachel is still thinking about the kiss and asks Blaine out [[LiquidCourage (if you have to be drunk to do it, do you really want to do it?)]]. He says yes and Kurt continues to remain unamused. Blaine offers up a point; having never actually dated anyone, he can't honestly say what his preferences are. Sort-of a point. Maybe. Not helping the anti-"you just haven't found the right guy/girl" case, there. Kurt doesn't care, and he REALLY doesn't care when Blaine suggest he's bi. And this leads to a line of dialog that is just (even more) utterly stupid:

Blaine then points out more hypocrisy, saying that Karofsky drove Kurt out because he didn't like Kurt for who he was... which is what Kurt's doing to him. He says that sexuality aside, he's trying to find himself, and for Kurt to rag on him on that, Blaine didn't think that's who Kurt was. He bails as we cut to that honky-tonk bar where we see Will and Bieste having all manner of fun:

Beer. Mechanical bull. Oh yes, this place has the works. Eventually, this leads to the two of them up on the stage for some more appropriate music. Cut to Kurtchel clearing up the Berry's basement (Brittany's bra just sort of hanging from a portrait there in the back) while Kurt stews over Blainchel's lovely date -- some Film/LoveStory with proper costumes. Kurt is as unamused as he's been this whole episode, and it gets worse when Rachel opens the mouth and inserts the loafer. Kurt responds accordingly, saying Blaine's the first of many closeted men [[FagHag Rachel will date]]. As is wont to happen with these two, egos are self-stroked and claws are bared, Rachel saying she'll kiss Blaine sober to find out once and for all.

After the break, we see ND backstage at the assembly, nervous due to not getting enough rehearsal. As in, none at all. Rachel arrives with something to calm them down: [[{{Squick}} Brandy, Vermouth, Port Wine, Scotch, Kool-Aid, crumbled Oreos, cough syrup]]. We thus are aware of the inevitable outcome and as we ogle HeMo in her daisy dukes writhing to some [[strike: Key-Dollarsign-ha]] Music/{{Kesha}}, we wait for the first to blow. That turns out to be Brit-Brit herself starting a chain reaction and leading us into the home stretch, where Sue plays the tape of Will drunk dialing her, cutting to the intended recipient of said drunk dial turning as red as her hair while looking like she wishes he did drunk dial her. Then we get the priceless faces of New Directions in Figgins' office ready to face the music. Turns out, Figgins thought they planned it -- some acting, SFX to scare the kids straight -- and as such, hands out 1/2 off Froyo coupons (that are already expired). Will gets handed a meeting with Figgins' pastor. Fair trade. Cut to the choir room, where Will gets them to agree not to drink until after Nationals, giving them his number in case they slip up. We end at the Lima Bean where Rachel spies Blaine, lays one on him... and since hiring him to be Kurt's love interest only to have him date Rachel would be counterproductive, he declares himself "100% Gay". Hurray.