History Recap / GameOfThronesS5E4TheSonsOfTheHarpy

* KickTheSonOfABitch: The Pentoshi captain smuggled and then betrayed Jaime, so the Sand Snakes are [[RewardedAsATraitorDeserves punishing a traitor]], but they go out of their way with the torture, having him buried up to his neck in sand with scorpions crawling over his head.

It's the dead of night in '''Volantis''' and a lucky fisherman has hauled in a basket full to the brim with a fresh catch as he beaches his little one-mast boat. His luck promptly changes when a huge fist flies out of the dark and knocks him into next summer. Ser Jorah Mormont has done the cold-cocking and he drags the poor sod away from the surf so that he doesn't drown, gives him a couple of coppers as recompense and goes to find his captive, Tyrion, who is still trussed up and unable to escape, (though not from lack of trying), from where Jorah has embedded his poniard in the sand. Jorah treats the half-man like a sack of flour as he dumps him unceremoniously into the boat, pushes off, jumps onto the stern, and sets sail.

On another, larger ship, in the slightly less temperate waters of '''The Narrow Sea''', Ser Jaime Lannister asks the captain of the merchant vessel he and Bronn are travelling to Dorne on, whether that isle they're passing is Estermont, but it is actually Tarth, much to Jaime's subdued but still noticeable melancholy. Bronn is even more tetchy about their venture, about their transport, their odds of survival against the hot-blooded Dornish, and what motivation could possibly make the Kingslayer risk such a scheme. Bronn reveals that the 'Baratheon' offspring being Jaime's is pretty much an open secret among, oh, I don't know... ''Everyone'' and that he knows his employer wishes to fill a hole in his life in the place of the warrior he once was by being a true father to Myrcella instead; and perhaps to atone for freeing Tyrion, which Jaime denies, claiming it was Varys acting alone. This laundry list of denials just seems to amuse Bronn.

In a lengthy episode at '''King's Landing''', Lord Mace Tyrell, burdened with two offices of The Small Council is cajoled by Cersei into taking a trip to Braavos in order to negotiate repayment of a mere tenth of the Crown's enormous debt to the Iron Bank. A voyage the dotty Paramount of the South is chuffed to accept. With the head of the Tyrell family out of the way, Cersei then petitions her new head of the Faith of the Seven, the High Sparrow, offering to rearm the Faith Militant [[BlatantLies as a purely generous and altruistic measure of course...]] What with the atrocities the War of the Five Kings has left in its wake, holiness is more important than ever, and sin must be cleansed from every household, the lowest and the highest.

Throughout the city, the Faith Militant overturn merchant tables and smash alehouses, their civil violence ignored by the gold cloaks. The marauding crusaders bust into Littlefinger's brothel once again and assault both the patrons and workers alike; Olyvar also gets slapped around. Again. Seriously, he should stop mentioning Peter Baelish's name and expecting them to care, but as we see next, the Faith doesn't take very kindly to depravity, and when it comes to homosexual intercourse, they take it even worse. The punched-up portly poofter says he'll pay the militants off, unfortunately, their ringleader doesn't want reimbursement in gold as he draws out a wicked looking knife and Olyvar quite understandably runs for the hills as the man's hideous screams chase after him.

These pogroms on all the capital's perceived evils are inter-cut with a fanatic receiving his sigil of a red seven-pointed star on a white field. Only... The mark is inscribed into their foreheads with a blade, and the one getting the latest star is none other than Lancel Lannister himself. Newly scarred, a mob of the fanatics catch Loras Tyrell during his cool-down period between a sparring session and arrest him for crimes against both gods and men. When the Knight of Flowers demands to know who these bozos think they are; Lancel replies that they are [[IAmTheNoun justice]].

-->'''Queen Selyse Baratheon nee Florent:''' You think highly of this boy?

Selyse once more agonises over her inability to conceive a male heir for her husband. But Stannis assures her it is no one's fault. Selyse thinks otherwise, that maybe her daughter's deformity has something to do with it... Melisandre of Asshai objects to such incidental imprecation, as Shireen possesses near the same amount of Targaryen ancestry as her father, giving her the blood of kings and conquerors, regardless of her greyscale scars, and the same power within it... This causes Selyse to back off. The Red Woman inquires whether Stannis will take her with him to the siege of Winterfell and he confirms this; he will not allow Davos to sway him this time, not after magic has won most of his victories.

Jon and Sam sign and seal letters requesting supplies and manpower from many of the lesser known Northern houses. It is only when Sam places a paper that entreats Lord Bolton for surplus that Jon puts his foot down. Not wishing to kowtow to his brother's murderer. But Samwell convinces him of the painful necessity of the signature and Jon reluctantly puts quill to parchment. As Sam is taking the folder to be raven-posted, Melisandre enters Jon's quarters and Sam hightails it. Jon inquires as to what he can do for her, like Stannis and Davos before her, she tries to convince him to aid in their taking of Winterfell; citing his knowledge of the castle's secret passages and other weaknesses. Jon falls back on his tired oaths but Mel asserts that there has only ever been one war. The war of life against death. And that no man can stay apart from such a conflict. She then brazenly tries to seduce him, citing his own hidden power within and that their joining can cast life, light and shadows. Much as she did with Stannis back on Dragonstone. Though clearly shaken with lust and more than a little willing, Jon manages to resist the redheaded shadow-binder's promiscuous advances with his memories of Ygritte, defeated, Mel uses the wildling girl's final utterance against Jon, much to his horror.

In his office, Stannis hears a knock at his door and Shireen enters. Concerned, he asks after her state of mind and discovers that Selyse was dead set against their daughter accompanying them to the Wall. Much to Stannis's disappointment in his wife's maternal affections. Shireen then poses something she's long wished to know: ''[[ArmorPiercingQuestion "are you ashamed of me, father?"]]'' Stannis looks as astonished as a man of his taciturn nature ''can'' look. He puts down his paperwork, stands up, comes around his desk and proceeds to tell his only child a story. When she was born he bought her a doll dressed in their house colours and placed it in her cradle for her to play with. He can still remember her happiness at the gift. But it hid something terrible, the contagion of the disease that nearly took her life. Though he burned the doll, the sickness had already taken hold and his household advised Stannis to send her away to Essos and live out the remainder of her short life with a leper communion, the Stone Men. But Stannis didn't let such a thing as a near fatal disease stop him from saving his first-born, dammit! Every medical resource was called upon and the tide was turned. Because she did not belong on the other side of the world, she is his little princess and she -- is -- his -- daughter. In tears, Shireen throws her small arms around her father's waist, who, after a moment's pause returns the hug, breathing into her hair.

However, Sansa believes in the popular claim that Rhaegar absconded with Lyanna forcibly, leading to Rickard and Brandon Stark's deaths and Robert's Rebellion. But Petyr smiles, evidently noticing the parallels between his own gambits and the dragon prince's; only he has been far more successful in his plots to secure his love. He discusses that Cersei has called him back to the capital, and that he must go so as not to bring down undue suspicion. Sansa is frightened at being left alone with her new, soon-to-be in-laws but Petyr says that Stannis may soon liberate the North and declare Sansa Wardeness; (though why he would want this, considering Stannis would execute Littlefinger on the spot for all his duplicity we can hardly know). If the reverse should happen and Stannis is skinned alive by the Boltons, then Sansa may still gain power by completing the unenviable task of controlling Ramsay socially. Sansa doesn't have much choice in the matter though and is left alone as Petyr prepares for his trip south.

Off the coast of '''Dorne''', Jaime and Bronn, well, ''Bronn'' rows them to shore and they quickly sleep the rest of the night away. Upon waking, Jaime sees Bronn about to hurl his kukri knife into his face! But his real target was the deadly coral snake, likely about to bite the Kingslayer where he lay. The pair feast on the serpent for breakfast. Over their meal, they banter on how they would like to shuffle off the mortal coil and how no one usually gets the kind of death reserved for the heroes of song and story. They break camp, (putting out the hilariously fake fire that would never have cooked that meat enough to be safely consumed). And Bronn cautions Jaime on how their Pentoshi Captain could easily sell their location out to the Martells, regardless of the heavy bag of gold used to bribe him. Unfortunately, Bronn is proven right, whether by accident or design and they are surrounded by four light cavalrymen, their tracks in the dunes easily giving away their position.

Bronn covers their asses with pseudonyms and a convincing tale of being stranded but Jaime's lack of knowledge on the local fauna pokes holes in Bronn's cover story and the Dornishmen demand that they give up their weapons. Bron gives Jaime the 'get ready' look, plants his sword in the sand, then whips out his kukri and with one smooth throw buries it in the leader's throat, toppling him from his steed. Bronn takes a second one out with no fuss no muss before forcibly dismounting the third by slashing at his horse's bollocks, then leaving him for Jaime while he deals with the fourth. However, the soldier is not slowed by his fall and quickly has Jaime on the defensive, his slow return strikes easily swept aside with scimitar molinetes. The Kingslayer is brought down, barely surviving as he rolls down the hill, his foe's elevation allowing him to batter Jaime's guard away and disarm him. About to have his skull cleaved in two, Jaime half raises his golden hand to shield himself and by some miracle the scimitar catches right between the thumb and fingers, trapping it. Gobsmacked, Jaime has time to retrieve his sword and puncture the Dornishmen through the chest, to then kick him down the embankment. Jaime is not too pleased at having to rely on luck and the greater skills of his sellsword partner in crime, so he sets Bronn to work in burying the bodies, less they raise questions that start a new war. To which a peeved Bronn gets down to the heavy labour while Jaime relaxes and swigs from his canteen.

Elsewhere in the country, Ellaria Sand meets with her daughter, Tyene and two of her half-sisters, Nymeria and Obara, the Sand Snakes. Oberyn's bastard girls. She informs them that Doran will not strive against the Lannisters and they alone must avenge their fallen family. And they can get to Cersei through Myrcella... Nym informs her relatives of a potential problem and whips a bucket off the sand to reveal the Pentoshi Captain buried up to his neck and tortured with Emperor scorpions. Obara was approached by him at Planky Town, but he has not received the reward he expected for his treachery. The Sand Snakes now know that Jaime is making his play to rescue his daughter and they will do everything in their power to stop him. And since they were trained by the [[MemeticBadass younger prince of Dorne]], and all decide to ally with Ellaria; Jaime and Bronn are now in big trouble.

Jorah slowly leaves the tiller, Tyrion looks pleased that he has convinced the exile to loosen his bonds. Instead, Jorah gives him a backhand bitch slap with his ring hand that thwacks the living daylights out of Tyrion, before returning to his seat and enjoying the sea breeze, free from the sound of pointed extrapolations from the mouths of irritating dwarfs.

But even as the head of a noble family pleads their case, members of the Sons of the Harpy congregate in the sewers in greater numbers than we've ever seen before. They launch an attack on a group of Dany's sellswords in the cold light of day while they drink and whore, easily dispatching them and luring a passing patrol of Unsullied to the attack site. One of the Harpies collaborators, the one responsible for White Rat's murder, points them to an old set of stone stables, where the perpetrators have ''fled''. The squad of seven pursue the Harpies but are caught in a corridor from both sides with at least thirty more of the gold-mask wearing, assorted cleaver and sharp implement wielding psychos.

Though up against men trained from birth, the Harpies more than make up for their lack of martial skill with sheer resolve and greater numbers. Piling on and slitting the throats of two of the Unsullied and stabbing another repeatedly on the ground to death while the remaining four of Dany's army fight like demons. But they too are being overwhelmed by the sheer press of bodies. The Captain has dispatched four Harpies in return, until one armed with a machete forces him against the wall and knocks off his helm. It's Grey Worm. Dany's trusted General pulls the fanatic's neck against his own short sword. And quickly kills two more with his retrieved spear, but only he and two others are left in the fight now.

All over the city, paired patrols are ambushed by eight or more Harpies, held down by three or four at a time and shanked over a dozen times before they can even fight back.

Walking the streets, Ser Barristan hears alarm bells ringing and the sounds of men dying in combat. He unsheathes the sword he likely took from a fellow Kingsguard member back when he quit Joffrey's service from his battered old scabbard; marching towards the district from where the general populace of upper class citizens are fleeing en masse.

Outside, homes are aflame and another three man squad of Unsullied, outnumbered two to one by the Harpies, are slaughtered gruesomely before the fanatics rush to help their brethren inside.

A dozen advance on Barristan warily, all too aware of Ser Grandfather's reputation it would seem; and leaving four to deal with Grey Worm. A shaft of sunlight catches the Bold's implacable figure and his naked sword, bathed in Harpy blood as he levels it at the approaching mob, feinting a sudden move. Several try to rush past and get behind the elderly knight, but Selmy, (backed by a heroic variant of the Targaryen theme), leaps into combat like a man half his age. Within three precise moves two are already dead, one tries to shiv Barristan from behind only to find his fellow Harpy pulled around and thrown onto his own dagger. Selmy punts the shish-kebabed slaver and his accidental killer into their companions, keeping them from rushing him all at once. Jaime was not lying, the aged swordsman is truly a painter, a painter that only uses red. He lays one open from hip to shoulder, disembowels a second and with only his second expert parry of the entire fight splits a third's spinal cord in half with a lightning riposte before running a fourth clean through.

Grey Worm finds [[HeroicSecondWind a new well of strength]] and lays into the four standing over him, [[TrueCompanions unwilling to leave Barristan fighting solo.]] Selmy half decapitates a fallen Harpy, pulling his sword free with a squelch from his shattered collar bone, before one of the thinning ranks of his foes finally decides to grab onto the knight regardless of the cost. Although Barristan employs a half-swording vertical counter that ''bisects his opponent near clean in two from the front'' to free himself, the Harpy has given his allies the chance they need. One kicks the true knight square in the back, pushing him into the midst of his six remaining foes, he fights his way free with a single stroke but it is clear the heavy impact has offset his flow. Another practically lands on Barristan's sword point as the knight staggers back, trying to get back into the fray but the Harpy holds himself on the blade maniacally, Selmy manages to push him off in time to kill his next attacker, but his direction of the skirmish is truly shot and a Harpy dives in low and [[OhCrap hamstrings Barristan with a golok.]]

Incredibly, the truest knight pays the Harpy back in kind, only his return slice is a bit higher, try, along the path of several major organs. Of the three Harpies left, the first, who has no weapon, stomps Barristan down and the other two jump on him with knives. Selmy gores one through the intestines and out the other side with his sword and just as he is about to be stabbed in the back, he shoves his poniard, which he drew from his belt while on the ground with his left hand, up under the Harpy's armpit and into his heart. At the last possible second, Selmy withdraws his sword from the dying Harpy to defend himself - he's won! ''[[BigNo NOOOOOO!]]'' The final Harpy drives a leaf-bladed dirk right between Barristan's ribs, causing the old warrior to unleash a [[SkywardScream heart-rending yell of agony.]] The last Harpy wrenches his recently acquired weapon free, unstoppering the knight's life blood in a great rushing flow, grabs his hair from behind as the queen's royal protector kneels, defeated, and prepares to draw the knife across Selmy's throat... And Grey Worm skewers the bastard before his arm can be pulled to the side and around.

The two comrades-in-arms fall next each other in the battle soaked straw, Barristan has already passed out from blood loss and Grey Worm quickly follows, but not before desperately trying to find out if the old Ser is alive. The walls are bathed in great patches of maroon liquid and even if they both die; they have sent nothing short of a heroic deal of their queen's enemies to the deepest circle of the seven hells this day... Seventeen kills to Grey Worm and twenty two to Ser Barristan the Bold as they lie among the corpses they've made of men, their own crimson pooling underneath them while the bells ring on and on...

** The Harpies in the books were back-alley thugs and terrorists, fantasy Ku-Kluxers who attacked their targets in guerrilla style sneak attacks. Here they go on a knife wielding ZergRush at a cohort of Unsullied and managed to take out most of them before either dying or fleeing.
** At this stage in the books, Jaime Lannister continues to gets his ass handed to him by his sparring partner, who is hardly a gifted swordsman himself. Here, while he's obviously still extremely lacking in his old skills, he manages to hold his own for a while against a Dornish warrior and eventually kills him. Possibly lampshaded by Bronn, who remarks that Jaime had a good teacher.
* AdaptationDeviation: One of the biggest ones. In the books, Loras is never arrested for homosexuality by the Faith Militant; instead, he volunteers himself to capture Dragonstone from Stannis's garrison so the royal fleet currently supplying the besiegers at Dragonstone can head to the Reach to deal with renewed attacks by the ironborn in the wake of Euron's coronation. Cersei agrees to it because she sees it as an opportunity to diminish Tyrell power at court and hopes [[UriahGambit Loras will be killed in the fighting]].

* TheAlcoholic: Tyrion insists that INeedAFreakingDrink, and isn't happy when Jorah refuses him.

** In-universe regarding Rheager and Lyanna. Sansa -- who has only heard stories -- believes Rhaegar Targaryen was a villain who took Lyanna unwillingly. Littlefinger -- who was present at the infamous tourney -- frames it as a more romantic case of him ''choosing'' Lyanna, and noticeably avoids agreeing with the comment that he kidnapped and raped her, indicating things were more complicated than Sansa believes. Ser Barristan -- who knew Rheager personally -- describes him as a compassionate prince who wanted to sing not fight, and loved walking among the small folk.
* ApatheticCitizens: Loras is seized by the Faith Militant just after he hands his sword to his squire. But neither the squire, or the armoured knight Loras was fighting, nor anyone else watching, [[StupidSurrender try to intervene when the Queen's brother is manhandled by commoners]]. It may be they were warned off in advance like the Gold Cloaks (see PoliceAreUseless).

* AwesomenessByAnalysis: Tyrion figures out Jorah's identity, his history with Daenery, why Daenerys exiled Jorah, and why Jorah is taking him to her -- all within a three minute conversation.

* BoundAndGagged: Tyrion [[YouTalkTooMuch grunts constantly]] despite the gag in his mouth until Jorah removes it. Lancel having the Seven-Pointed Star carved into his forehead. The Pentoshi captain is buried up to this neck in sand and has a gag in his mouth to stop him screaming.

** To "Garden of Bones". Melisandre's "power to cast shadows" comment implies she wants another shadow assassin, this time from Jon Snow. That ''would'' solve the problem of Jon not being willing to desert his post, if a Jon-shadow carves up Roose Bolton in his stead.

* CallThatAFormation: When Grey Worm's squad of Unsullied gets ambushed by the Sons of the Harpy, they noticeably do not hold to their famous unbreakable formation. This may because they are unused to fighting in small units and do not have the numbers to form an effective phalanx.

* ConvenientlyPlacedSharpThing: Averted; Jorah has stuck his sword through Tyrion's bonds to hold him in place while he steals the boat. When he returns, Tyrion is frantically rubbing the ropes against the blade, but hasn't had time to free himself.

** Cersei's actions in rearming the Faith Militant may benefit her in the short run - but the repercussions for her personally are already beginning to show, as Tommen is blatantly disrespected and disobeyed, and flat out called a bastard and abomination. Since rumors of her relationship with Jaime are already widespread, how long will it be before the Faith turns on Cersei and her children? Not to mention, she just sent her most loyal bodyguard off to Braavos and the Sparrows already have one highly [[KissingCousins incriminating witness]] ''in their own ranks''...

** Bronn wonders how in the seven hells is Jaime Lannister expecting to succeed with a covert mission when he is one of the most recognisable faces in all Westeros.

* DramaticIrony: Littlefinger's plan is actually very well thought out, except for one issue: he thinks the Bolton boy is smitten with Sansa. Littlefinger apparently has no idea that Ramsay is a complete sociopath, which may end poorly for Littlefinger's plan. That is, unless he has made a plan for that too. After all, this is Petyr Baelish we're talking about here...
* DramaticUnmask: Ellaria after she dismounts, but more dramatically the Pentoshi captain after the bucket is knocked off his head. Loras taking off his helmet after sword practice, showing who the Faith Militant's main target is. Grey Worm in the melee.

* EnemyMine: Jon refuses to ally with the man who murdered his brother, until Sam reminds him that the Watch needs men and supplies from the Warden of the North.

** Compare King Stannis story of the lengths he went to save his disfigured daughter because she was family, to [[Recap/GameOfThronesS3E10Mhysa Lord Tywin's tale]] of how he graciously decided not to drown Tyrion because he was family.

* IHaveBoobsYouMustObey: Melisandre opens her robe to show her perfect breasts, puts Jon's hand on one and invites him to feel her... heartbeat.

* ItsAllAboutMe: If it wasn't apparent before, Cersei has become even more transparent in her attempt to dissolve the Small Council in-order to leave herself as the sole power. She sends [[ReassignedToAntarctica Mace Tyrell off]] to handle their debt with the Iron Bank. Pycelle quips that the council keeps getting smaller, and Cersei fires back that [[ShameIfSomethingHappened it's not small enough yet.]]

* KickTheDog: Just how far will Cersei go to keep her power. She will humiliate her own son, Tommen, by wrecking his marriage and then daring him to try and be more than a PuppetKing all so he would have no one to rely on but Mummy.

* LongingLook: Jaime catches sight of a beautiful island on the way to Dorne. When he's told that it's Tarth -- Brienne's homeland -- he gazes at it for quite some time with a look that's almost lovestruck.

** Melisandre and Queen Selyse exchange a long look after the Red Woman says it doesn't matter about Shireen's deformity, because royal blood runs through her veins. Given [[BloodMagic what other things]] Melisandre wanted to use king's blood for, this cannot bode well.

* MentorOccupationalHazard: Ser Barristan just taught Daenerys (and the viewers) everything he knew about her family history and proper ruling. Naturally this was the end of the line for him...

** The seven-pointed star that the Faith Militant members carve on their foreheads. In the books, the banner of the Poor Fellows - the humble faction of the Faith Militant, now composed mostly of Sparrows - was a red seven-pointed star. The self-scarification of course refers to the stars that Andal warriors carved on their chests during the Andal Invasion of Westeros.

** Margaery fails to balance her real anger and her sweet façade for a moment, and is actually taken aback by Tommen's naivety. She notices it in time to mitigate it, but her oblivious husband does not.

** Roose Bolton apparently didn't do a good job of ensuring his involvement in the Red Wedding (or the fact that he killed Robb Stark) was a secret, since Littlefinger, Sansa and even Jon Snow know that he killed the King in the North. A complete contrast from the books, where the Northern lords at best are sure Roose Bolton lies about his part in the Red Wedding but ignore he killed Robb.

* PenPushingPresident: Downplayed. Jon Snow finds out that the position of Lord Commander of the Night's Watch involves a fair amount of desk-work and signing letters, much to his exasperation. This is probably furthered by the fact that he and Sam Tarly are among the few Night's Watch brothers who can actually read and write, so he can't just delegate the task to Maester Aemon. And to cap it all, he has to kiss up to the Boltons, whom he despises for killing his brother Robb, since without the support of the North, the Night's Watch simply won't be able to get the men and supplies they need to man the Wall.

* ProperlyParanoid: Bronn tries to warn Jaime about the possibility of the boat captain [[HeKnowsTooMuch knowing too much]] and alerting the Martells (who hate the Lannisters) that Jaime is within their borders. Bronn knows better than most that, no matter how much gold you give to someone to shut them up, someone else will probably offer them more to talk. Not long afterwards we see the same boat captain being tortured by the Sand Snakes after having tried to sell that information.

* SherlockScan: With just a few visual clues, Tyrion is able to deduce he's been kidnapped by Jorah Mormont.[[labelnote:From the books...]]This is a subtle reference to the opening sections of ''Literature/ADanceWithDragons'' where Tyrion manages to unearth an entire conspiracy and backstory with even fewer cue cards.[[/labelnote]]

* ShoutOut: Oberyn Martell giving his daughter a choice between tears or the spear as her weapon, is a shout out to ''Manga/LoneWolfAndCub''.

** No matter how good of a fighter you are, it is extremely difficult to fight outnumbered 10-to-1 and come out unscathed. Even though Grey Worm and Ser Barristan manage to kill most of the attacking Harpies, they sustain several nasty wounds from being ganged-up on that slay Barristan and very well might kill Grey Worm too.

* XanatosGambit: Littlefinger plays a simple one: No matter who takes Winterfell, Sansa will be either married to the heir of Winterfell, or rescued from having to marry the most hated family in the North. Either way, she is put in a position of power.

It's the dead of night in '''Volantis''' and a lucky fisherman has hauled in a basket full to the brim with a fresh catch as he beaches his little one-mast boat. His luck promptly changes when a huge fist flies out of the dark and knocks him into next summer. Ser Jorah Mormont has done the cold-cocking and he drags the poor sod away from the surf so that he doesn't drown, gives him a couple of coppers as recompense and goes to find his captive, Tyrion. Who is still trussed up and unable to escape, (though not from lack of trying), from where Jorah has embedded his poniard in the sand. Jorah treats the half-man like a sack of flour as he dumps him unceremoniously into the boat, pushes off, jumps onto the stern and sets sail.

On another, larger ship, in the slightly less temperate waters of '''The Narrow Sea''', Ser Jaime Lannister asks the captain of the merchant vessel he and Bronn are travelling to Dorne on, whether that isle they're passing is Estermont, but it is actually Tarth, much to Jaime's subdued but still noticeable melancholy. Bronn is even more tetchy about their venture, about their transport, their odds of survival against the hot-blooded Dornish and what motivation could possibly make the Kingslayer risk such a scheme. Bronn reveals that the 'Baratheon' offspring being Jaime's is pretty much an open secret among, oh, I don't know... ''Everyone.'' And that he knows his employer wishes to fill a hole in his life in the place of the warrior he once was, by being a true father to Myrcella instead; and perhaps to atone for freeing Tyrion, which Jaime denies, claiming it was Varys acting alone. This laundry-list of denials just seems to amuse Bronn.

In a lengthy episode at '''King's Landing''', Lord Mace Tyrell, burdened with two offices of the small council is cajoled by Cersei into taking a trip to Braavos in order to negotiate repayment of a mere tenth of the Crown's enormous debt to the Iron Bank. A voyage, the dotty Paramount of the South is chuffed to accept. With the head of the Tyrell family out of the way, Cersei then petitions her new head of the Faith of the Seven, the High Sparrow, offering to rearm the Faith Militant [[BlatantLies as a purely generous and altruistic measure of course...]] What with the atrocities the War of the Five Kings has left in its wake, holiness is more important than ever and sin must be cleansed from every household, the lowest and the highest.

These pogroms on all the capital's perceived evils are inter-cut with a fanatic receiving his sigil of a red seven pointed star on a white field. Only... The mark is inscribed into their foreheads with a blade, and the one getting the latest star is none other than Lancel Lannister himself. Newly scarred, a mob of the fanatics catch Loras Tyrell during his cool down period between a sparring session and arrest him for crimes against both gods and men. When the Knight of Flowers demands to know who these bozos think they are; Lancel replies that they are [[IAmTheNoun justice]].

Poor gormless Tommen, who was most likely duped into signing the proclamation rearming the Faith by his mother, is accosted by Margaery; furious at her brother's imprisonment. Anxious to please his bride, he goes to Cersei but she passes him off to her new ally, who is a lot more difficult to deal with than accommodating mummy. Though king, Tommen has the gentlest soul of all and has probably never in his life been confronted by a gang of ultra adherent zealots, let alone been confronted at all in his life of Riley. He is unwilling to spill blood on the steps of the Sept and is too intimidated to negotiate, untested as he is, when the High Sparrow refuses him an audience. The scattered shouts from the small-folk of his status as an ''"abomination"'' then unman him entirely. And he all but confesses his powerlessness to Margaery, who will send words to the Queen of Thorns for this attack on her family, bitingly insinuating that Tommen, though her husband - does not hold that place in her heart yet.

Selyse once more agonises over her inability to conceive a male heir for her husband. But Stannis assures her it is no-one's fault. Selyse thinks otherwise, that maybe her daughter's deformity has something to do with it... Melisandre of Asshai objects to such incidental imprecation, as Shireen possesses near the same amount of Targaryen ancestry as her father, giving her the blood of kings and conquerors, regardless of her greyscale scars, and the same power within it... This causes Selyse to back off. The Red Woman inquires whether Stannis will take her with him to the siege of Winterfell and he confirms this; he will not allow Davos to sway him this time, not after magic has won most of his victories.

Jon and Sam sign and seal letters requesting supplies and manpower from many of the lesser known Northern houses. It is only when Sam places a paper that entreats Lord Bolton for surplus that Jon puts his foot down. Not wishing to kowtow to his brother's murderer. But Samwell convinces him of the painful necessity of the signature and Jon reluctantly puts quill to parchment. As Sam is taking the folder to be raven posted, Melisandre enters Jon's quarters and Sam hightails it. Jon inquires as to what he can do for her, like Stannis and Davos before her, she tries to convince him to aid in their taking of Winterfell; citing his knowledge of the castle's secret passages and other weaknesses. Jon falls back on his tired oaths but Mel asserts that there has only ever been one war. The war of life against death. And that no man can stay apart from such a conflict. She then brazenly tries to seduce him, citing his own hidden power within and that their joining can cast life, light and shadows. Much as she did with Stannis back on Dragonstone. Though clearly shaken with lust and more than a little willing, Jon manages to resist the redheaded shadow-binder's promiscuous advances with his memories of Ygritte, defeated, Mel uses the wildling girl's final utterance against Jon, much to his horror.

Beneath '''Winterfell''', Sansa Stark lights candles for the statues of her ancestors and even finds the feather that King Robert placed in the hand of Lyanna's mausoleum effigy. Baelish discovers his niece in the crypts and Sansa remarks on how she would find her father down here, watching vigil over his sister's tomb and that she was beautiful beyond compare.

However, Sansa believes in the popular claim that Rhaegar absconded with Lyanna forcibly, leading to Rickard and Brandon Stark's deaths and Robert's Rebellion. But Petyr smiles, evidently noticing the parallels between his own gambits and the dragon prince's; only he has been far more successful in his plots to secure his love. He discusses that Cersei has called him back to the capital, and that he must go so as not to bring down undue suspicion. Sansa is frightened at being left alone with her new, soon to be in-laws but Petyr says that Stannis may soon liberate the North and declare Sansa Wardeness; (though why he would want this, considering Stannis would execute Littlefinger on the spot for all his duplicity we can hardly know). If the reverse should happen and Stannis is skinned alive by the Boltons, then Sansa may still gain power by completing the unenviable task of controlling Ramsay socially. Sansa doesn't have much choice in the matter though and is left alone as Petyr prepares for his trip south.

Off the coast of '''Dorne''', Jaime and Bronn, well, ''Bronn'' rows them to shore and they quickly sleep the rest of the night away. Upon waking, Jaime sees Bronn about to hurl his kukri knife into his face! But his real target was the deadly coral snake, likely about to bite the Kingslayer where he lay. The pair feast on the serpent for breakfast. Over their meal, they banter on how they would like to shuffle off the mortal coil and how no-one usually gets the kind of death reserved for the heroes of song and story. They break camp, (putting out the hilariously fake fire that would never have cooked that meat enough to be safely consumed). And Bronn cautions Jaime on how their Pentoshi Captain could easily sell their location out to the Martells, regardless of the heavy bag of gold used to bribe him. Unfortunately, Bronn is proven right, whether by accident or design and they are surrounded by four light cavalrymen, their tracks in the dunes easily giving away their position.

Upon the waves nearing the '''The Valyrian Peninsula''', Ser Jorah is growing tired of Tyrion's endless pleas to be untied through his gag. When the dwarf begins to sing non-stop through his muzzle, the exiled knight capitulates and removes the material roughly before returning to sit by the rudder lever. Tyrion asks who his captor is and whether he has any wine, only to be met with clipped responses that give nothing away. The littlest lion then realises that they are sailing east, not west and ''"the queen"'' that Tyrion fears is to the west, [[SarcasmMode his beloved sister.]] Jorah becomes more talkative and reveals that he is taking him to the only woman he will ever call queen; Queen Daenerys Targaryen. Tyrion cannot help but cackle dryly at this turn of events and inform Jorah that he was heading to her in the first place. Jorah does not believe him but the clever Imp replies that he hates the head of his family as much as Daenerys must and that they are on the same side. But still, Mormont refuses to free him.

** The Unsullied are feared for their iron discipline and spear-and-shield formation, making them seem borderline invincible. When patrolling the streets of Meereen, they are much more vulnerable when their flanks are exposed and their helmets limit their peripheral vision. The Sons of the Harpy take advantage of this and stage urban ambushes, where several individual Unsullied are simply caught off guard and killed quickly.

* ShoutOut: Oberyn Martell giving his daughter a choice between tears or the spear as her WeaponOfChoice, is a shout out to ''Manga/LoneWolfAndCub''.

* WeaponOfChoice: The Sand Snakes -- Obara is a JavelinThrower, Tyene is a knif expert, while Nymeria likes to WhipItGood. Happens InUniverse too with Obara's "tears or the spear" anecdote.

* AbsenteeActor: Ser Davos doesn't show up in this episode; at the very least, he should be around King Stannis (and keep an eye on Melisandre as well).

* WeaponOfChoice: The Sand Snakes -- Obara is a JavelinThrower, Tyene is a KnifeNut, while Nymeria likes to WhipItGood. Happens InUniverse too with Obara's "tears or the spear" anecdote.

* BelatedBackstory: We learn a lot more than ever about Prince Rhaegar, Dany's eldest brother. He would sing for the common folk because he preferred music to violence. Littlefinger reminisces on the Tourney at Harrenhal, where Rhaegar snubbed his wife Elia Martell by bestowing a crown of flowers to Lyanna Stark, Ned's sister, after he won. Sansa asserts that he kidnapped and raped Lyanna and recalls how her father never liked to talk about his late sister, but would come down to the crypts to light a candle for her.

* RealityEnsues:
** No matter how good of a fighter you are, it is extremely difficult to fight outnumbered 10-to-1 and come out unscathed. Even though Grey Worm and Ser Barristan manage to kill most of the attacking Harpies, they sustain several nasty wounds from being ganged-up on that slay Barristan and very well might kill Grey Worm too.
** The Unsullied are feared for their iron discipline and spear-and-shield formation, making them seem borderline invincible. When patrolling the streets of Meereen, they are much more vulnerable when their flanks are exposed and their helmets limit their peripheral vision. The Sons of the Harpy take advantage of this and stage urban ambushes, where several individual Unsullied are simply caught off guard and killed quickly.
** Growing up being the SpareToTheThrone and under a MyBelovedSmother has left Tommen woefully unprepared for the realities of being king.
** A more psychological example is Shireen, who has spent most of her life scarred by the greyscale, away from other people and with an unstable mother. Despite her kindhearted nature, such a life hasn't been good for her self-esteem, and she feels that her father Stannis, who loves her, is also ashamed of her.
** Littlefinger's intelligence gathering network is shown to rival Varys, but he's gathered little information on the bastard son of a Northern house far from the center of power in Kings Landing.

* MeaningfulEcho: Melisandre stuns Jon Snow when she uses [[TheLostLenore Ygritte's]] CatchPhrase, "You know nothing, Jon Snow." Given her powers as a {{seer}}, she may well have done this deliberately.

Jon and Sam sign and seal letters requesting supplies and manpower from many of the lesser known Northern houses. It is only when Sam places a paper that entreats Lord Bolton for surplus that Jon puts his foot down. Not wishing to kowtow to his brother's murderer. But Samwell convinces him of the painful necessity of the signature and Jon reluctantly puts quill to parchment. As Sam is taking the folder to be raven posted, Melisandre enters Jon's quarters and Sam hightails it. Jon inquires as to what he can do for her, like Stannis and Davos before her, she tries to convince him to aid in their taking of Winterfell; citing his knowledge of the castle's secret passages and other weaknesses. Jon falls back on his tired oaths but Mel asserts that there has only ever been one war. The war of life against death. And that no man can stay apart from such a conflict. She then brazenly tries to seduce him, citing his own hidden power within and that their joining can cast life, light and shadows. Much as she did with Stannis back on Dragonstone. Though clearly shaken with lust and more than a little willing, Jon manages to resist the redheaded shadow-binder's promiscuous advances with his memories of Ygritte, defeated, Mel uses the wildling girl's [[FamousLastWords final utterance]] against Jon, much to his horror.

* {{Foreshadowing}}: Bronn comments that "two knights off to rescue a princess" makes a good song, while Jaime snarks back that he's heard it before. The episode is full of references to Rhaeger and Lyanna, whose tale ended with knights (one of whom was a loved family member) going to rescue a princess "trapped" in a tower [[spoiler: except Ned never managed to save her. Not the greatest tale for Jaime to allude to as he's going to save his daughter...]]

* DemotedToExtra: Missandei barely appears in this episode.

* LongingLook: Jaime catches sight of a beautiful island on the way to Dorne. When he's told that it's Tarth -- Brienne's home -- he gazes at it for quite some time with a look that's almost lovestruck.

* RedOniBlueOni: Both King's Landing and Meereen have newly escalated trouble with brutal cult-like organizations, one mainly religious, the other one political. The Faith Militant [[LeeroyJenkins operates out in the open]], making examples of everybody whose lifestyle doesn't agree with their radical ideology, but apparently they don't scheme much. They don't make secrets about their identities or their hierarchy, so it's really obvious who they are and what they want. The Sons of the Harpy on the other hand are a much more mysterious group that operates anonymously and takes advantage of Meereen's narrow, crooked alleys for their assassination sprees.
* ReportsOfMyDeathWereGreatlyExaggerated: Littlefinger comments to Sansa that she's the only one with the Stark name left because, as far as they and most of Westeros knows, nearly her whole Stark family has been killed -- except for her known surviving sibling Jon Snow -- but he is Lord Commander of the Night's Watch now and does not officially have the Stark name. However, few people know that most of her other siblings (except for Robb) who believed to be dead [[{{NotTooDeadToSaveTheDay}} are actually alive]]: Arya has been missing since the end of Season 1, where she was last publicly seen as Arya Stark, but she is now hiding across the narrow sea. Meanwhile, Bran and Rickon are thought to be dead because Theon faked their deaths in Season 2, but they were able to flee Winterfell alive, and Bran is now beyond the Wall while Rickon has been PutOnABus with Osha.

* SherlockScan: With just a few visual clues, Tyrion is able to deduce he's been kidnapped by Jorah Mormont[[labelnote:from the books]]It's a subtle reference to the opening sections of ''Literature/ADanceWithDragons'' where Tyrion manages to unearth an entire conspiracy and backstory with even fewer cue cards[[/labelnote]]

* ReassignedToAntarctica: Cersei sends Mace Tyrell on a mission to Braavos in order to settle things with the Iron Bank. His escort for the long, dangerous trip? Her trusted brute Ser Meryn. At best, this is simply to get him out of the way. At worst, it could see him murdered by Meryn.

* ReportsOfMyDeathWereGreatlyExaggerated: Littlefinger comments to Sansa that she's the only one with the Stark name left. However, neither of them (nor do most of Westeros) know that most of her siblings, except for Robb, [[{{NotTooDeadToSaveTheDay}} have survived]] because at this point, few people know where Arya is, since the last time she was seen was at the end of Season 1; Bran and Rickon are believed to be dead because Theon faked their deaths in Season 2; and her only known surviving sibling Jon Snow does not have the Stark name and is Lord Commander of the Night's Watch. In addition, their uncle Benjen Stark went missing on a ranging beyond the Wall early in Season 1 and, like Jon, is sworn to the Night's Watch.

* SiblingTeam: The Sand Snakes are all Oberyn Martell's bastard daughters. Granted, they're only half-sisters, but they still qualify.

** A more psychological example than those listed before: Shireen has spent most of her life scarred by the greyscale, away from other people and with an unstable mother. Despite her kindhearted nature, such a life hasn't been good for her self-esteem, and she feels that also Stannis is ashamed of her.

* ReportsOfMyDeathWereGreatlyExaggerated: Littlefinger comments to Sansa that she's the only one with the Stark name left. However, neither of them (nor do most of Westeros) know that most of her siblings, except for Robb, [[{{NotTooDeadToSaveTheDay}} have survived]] because at this point, few people know where Arya is, since the last time she was seen was at the end of Season 1; Bran and Rickon are believed to be dead because Theon faked their deaths in Season 2; and her only known surviving sibling Jon Snow does not have the Stark name. In addition, their uncle Benjen Stark went missing on a ranging beyond the Wall early in Season 1.

* SherlockScan: With just a few visual clues, Tyrion is able to deduce he's been kidnapped by Jorah Mormont[[labelnote:from the books]]It's a subtle reference to the opening sections of ''Literature/ADanceWithDragons'' where Tyrion manages to unearth an entire conspiracy and backstory with even fewer cuecards[[/labelnote]]

* AmbiguousSituation: In-universe regarding Rheager and Lyanna. Sansa -- who has only heard stories -- believes Rhaegar Targaryen was a villain who took Lyanna unwillingly. Littlefinger -- who was present at the infamous tourney -- frames it as a more romantic case of him ''choosing'' Lyanna, and noticeably avoids agreeing with the comment that he kidnapped and raped her, indicating things were more complicated than Sansa believes. Ser Barristan -- who knew Rheager personally -- describes him as a compassionate prince who wanted to sing not fight, and loved walking among the small folk.