History Recap / GameOfThronesS2E1TheNorthRememebers

--> Jaime: Smart boy. (Off Robb's look). What? Don't like being called a boy? Insulted?
--> Robb: You insult yourself, Kingslayer. You've been defeated by a boy. You're held captive by a boy. Perhaps you'll be killed by a boy.

* JustAKid: Cersei involks this in her conversation with Tyrion.

* TheReasonYouSuckSpeech: Robb gives one to the Kingslayer even as he is doing his damndest to stay smug even given his current situation.

* ParentalIncest: Craster and his daughter-wives

Then to '''Dragonstone''', where Stannis Baratheon is having a nighttime bonfire on the beach. And by bonfire we mean he's burning the statues of the Seven at the urging of Melisandre, who has a thing for red and fire and who is seeking to convert Stannis to her religion. "For the night is dark, and full of terrors." Maester Cressen and Davos, Stannis's right hand man, aren't too happy about that. Cutting to inside the castle, Stannis dictates a very exact letter addressed to all the lords of the Seven Kingdoms, revealing that the Baratheon family tree wasn't exactly forking[[hottip:*:Or at least not with legitimate roots]]. Neither was the Lannister one, for that matter. It turns out that Maester Cressen is ''so'' unhappy with Melisandre and the road she's planning to take Stannis down that he tries to poison her. ''Try'' being the word, because not only does he have to drink first to pretend the wine he offers is safe, but as she watches him die she takes a big draught without flinching, as the ruby at her throat flashes. "The night is dark and full of terrors, old man, but the fire burns them all away."

And she's powerless to stop what comes next, which happens to be a lot of Gold Cloaks bursting into Littlefinger's brothel, where Ros has apparently been promoted - by what means we shall not guess - and is coaching the girls with a rather familiar speech. Janos Slynt arrives, seizes Robert's infant daughter Barra and, as her mother screams, slits her throat. [[hottip:*:How's ''that'' for outdoing the first episode of season 1? Bran's push suddenly looks mild by comparison.]]

The episode begins with the Hound in a fight - that ends very quickly, as he knocks his opponent over the edge of the battlement they're fighting on. The opponent doesn't land so much as splash on the courtyard below, and everyone claps.

Meanwhile, back in Winterfell, Bran is bored with being the Lord of a castle, but he's soon livened up by a wolf dream and a red comet. Osha has this to say: "The comet means one thing, boy. ''Dragons.''" Cut to...

...the Red Waste. Dany is currently minus a horse, since her Silver has just dropped dead, and being plus three (incredibly good CGI) dragons isn't as marvellous as you might expect, especially since she can't work out what to feed them. Or any of her khalasar, for that matter, as they're running low on supplies. In an attempt to find food or civilization somewhere, Dany sends out her bloodriders on a desperate search.

We follow the red comet to the Land Beyond the Wall, where Jon, Mormont, Sam and their party have been travelling for some time, and are now arriving at Craster's Keep. The good news is: Craster has lots of unmarried daughters! The bad news is: the lads can't touch them. The ugly news is: they're Craster's wives, too. ''Eeeesh.'' 'Your house, your rules' never sounded so nasty before. Jon is understandably as creeped out as we are, but Mormont, also understandably, tells him to keep his mouth shut. Also, where are all of Craster's sons?

Then to Dragonstone, where Stannis Baratheon is having a nighttime bonfire on the beach. And by bonfire we mean he's burning the statues of the Seven at the urging of Melisandre, who has a thing for red and fire and who is seeking to convert Stannis to her religion. "For the night is dark, and full of terrors." Maester Cressen and Davos, Stannis's right hand man, aren't too happy about that. Cutting to inside the castle, Stannis dictates a very exact letter addressed to all the lords of the Seven Kingdoms, revealing that the Baratheon family tree wasn't exactly forking[[hottip:*:Or at least not with legitimate roots]]. Neither was the Lannister one, for that matter. It turns out that Maester Cressen is ''so'' unhappy with Melisandre and the road she's planning to take Stannis down that he tries to poison her. ''Try'' being the word, because not only does he have to drink first to pretend the wine he offers is safe, but as she watches him die she takes a big draught without flinching, as the ruby at her throat flashes. "The night is dark and full of terrors, old man, but the fire burns them all away."

Stannis' ravens travel fast. Robb goes to confront Jaime Lannister, who he's been dragging around with him wherever his army goes. Jaime is as cocky as he can be in reply, which is pretty hard when you have a really ''big'' wolf standing beside your captor looking quite ready to tear your throat out. Brave man, that Kingslayer.

Back in King's Landing, Tyrion and Shae have some time together where they discuss just how appalling the city smells, and Littlefinger tries to one up Cersei. "Knowledge is power." It really doesn't work, since she pulls on him what he pulled on Ned last year - the palace guards belong to her, for the moment, and Littlefinger will have to watch himself. "Power is power," she says, and smiles.

In Robb's camp, peace terms are under discussion between Robb and Alton Lannister. Robb basically wants his sisters, his father's bones and his father's sword back, and for the North to be left alone from now on. Alton is amenable to the first three, not so much to the last one. And Robb reminds us, once again, that just about everyone now knows the Lannisters' dirty little secret, just before he dispatches Theon to the Iron Islands so as to drum up support from his family, and Catelyn to negotiate with Renly Baratheon.

Ironically enough, it seems that the last person to learn the secret is Joffrey himself. Not that he's willing to doubt his own legitimacy; he's more concerned about the existance of Robert's bastard children, as he believes they would be an insult to his father's memory. (The irony, it hurts.) In the midst of redecorating the throne room he questions Cersei about it all, and is pretty darn rude. Cersei does what all of us having been longing to and gets the requisite Joffrey slap of the season in. Unfortunately it appears Joffrey isn't half so afraid of her as he is of Tyrion. "What you just did is punishable by death. You will never do it again. ''Never.''" Cersei's hold over her son is crumbling fast, and she knows it.

...because Gendry and Arya are long gone, riding through the Dark Hedges and on their way to the North.

** Jaime keeps his SmugSnake persona...until Grey Wolf makes an appearance.

We follow the red comet to the Land Beyond the Wall, where Jon, Mormont, Sam and their party have been travelling for some time, and are now arriving at Craster's Keep. The good news is: there are girls! The bad news is: the lads can't touch them. The ugly news is: they're Craster's daughters...and his wives, too. ''Eeeesh.'' 'Your house, your rules' never sounded so nasty before. Jon is understandably as creeped out as we are, but Mormont, also understandably, tells him to keep his mouth shut. Also; where are all of Craster's sons?

** Jaime re Robb.

* HomoeroticSubtext: Jaime re Robb and Craster re Jon Snow.

* SmugSnake: Tyrion can barely conceal his glee at Cersei's fury and discomfort during their first meeting.

* AdaptationalVillainy: Not that he's not a CompleteMonster in the books, but here it is Joffrey and not Cersei the one who orders the massacre of Robert's bastards.

* PragmaticAdaptation: The show creates a new Lannister, Alton, to take the place of Cleos Frey, so the episode can make better use of the time that would have gone toward explaining why Cleos is fighting for the Lannisters, when we saw the Freys become allied with Robb.

* BadassBoast: A brief one by Cersei: after Littlefinger mocks the reveal of her {{Twincest}} and tells her "Knowledge is power," she demonstrates how the Lannister guards will instantly follow her every command, including killing him, and replies "Power is power."

* CanonForeigner: Kovarro, one of Daenerys' three bloodriders. Also Alton Lannister, based on Ser Cleos Frey.
** Three minor ones as well: the two lords Bran meets and Daisy the prostitute.

* DeathByAdaptation: Daenerys' mare. In the books she's still alive.

* TheAlcoholic: Dontos Hollard, a.k.a. Ser Dontos "the Red."

* AmbiguouslyEvil [[EvilRedhead Redhead]]: Melisandre.

* {{Foreshadowing}} / EarlyBirdCameo: That tune Tyrion is whistling as he walks into the Small Council meeting? [[spoiler: ''The Rains of Castamere'', which appears in full later in ''Blackwater''.]]
** It's also the musical cue that plays when Cersei outmaneuvers Littlefinger in this episode. For the rest of the season, it's going to be a background motif whenever the Lannisters do something particularly awesome and/or evil.

* [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone My Gods, What Have We Done?]]: One of the Gold Cloaks is horrified over their killings of Robert's bastard children.

** Lord Slynt counts as well for the incompetence with which he carries out the order; it's going to be obvious to people that ''something's'' happening, but it doesn't help his cause in any way whatsoever to personally murder an infant in front of so many witnesses (especially since the brothel caters to many people of high birth and influence, so some of the witnesses could actually be worth taking seriously.) I'm sure everyone eagerly awaits what the [[PragmaticVillainy Small Council's]] reaction to this escapade will be...
*** As Tyrion points out in a later episode, "The Queen Kills Babies" is actually a pretty snappy slogan, which the now inevitably coming revolution will surely appreciate.

* RedShirt: Treated with more consideration than usual. One of Robbs demands for peace is that the remains of all the members of the Stark household who were killed in King's Landing are returned along with those of his father, so their families can bury them. Many of them were unnamed extras who would usually have been forgotten about.
* RefugeInAudacity: Tyrion, from the moment he arrives in King's Landing. Littlefinger tries it, but is quickly put in his place by Cersei.
** Arguably Littlefinger proves his point perfectly; no matter how much Cersei threatens him, he is far too essential to kill off thanks to his network of contacts.

** Partially justified in that the Night's Watch has ridden in large numbers.

* AdaptationalVillainy: See MoralEventHorizon below

* MoralEventHorizon: Janos Slynt's betrayal of Ned was a bit lost to the audience next to Littlefinger's betrayal. Not so much his leading a massacre of Robert's bastards, including personally killing baby Barra, which is a case of AdaptationalVillainy; in the books the killing of Barra, and her mother, is carried out by Allar Deem, an officer under Slynt's command.