History Quotes / VideoGameMoviesSuck

->''Rule number one in making a movie about ''Street Fighter'' is to take the characters and have them fight. Rule number two shouldn't have to exist, but if it did, it would be filling the time between fights with musical training montages or [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs musical montages of shorter fights. Ignoring these simple rules I just invented ten years after they made it, ''Street Fighter'' was so desperate to keep a fight from breaking out they went so far as to turn Dhalsim into a lab technician and Chun Li, E. Honda, and Balrog into telejournalists.''

->''Rule number one in making a movie about ''Street Fighter'' is to take the characters and have them fight. Rule number two shouldn't have to exist,]] but if it did, it would be filling the time between fights with musical training montages or [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs musical montages of shorter fights. Ignoring these simple rules I just invented ten years after they made it, ''Street Fighter'' was so desperate to keep a fight from breaking out they went so far as to turn Dhalsim into a lab technician and Chun Li, E. Honda, and Balrog into telejournalists.''

[[folder:Film - Live-Action]]

->Quick! Change the channel!
-->-- '''Zangief''', ''Film/StreetFighter''

[[/folder]]

-->"Video games don't have the greatest track record when it comes to being transformed into film. There have been occasional hits, like ''Film/LaraCroftTombRaider'' (2001) and the ''Film/ResidentEvil'' franchise (2002-present)- but, even when financially successful, these films tend to be vilified by the very fans they're seeking to attract. Halo, for a while, looked like being different."

[[folder:Newspapers]]

->The movie is an utterly meaningless waste of time. There was no reason to produce it, except to make money, and there is no reason to see it, except to spend money...Parents: If you encounter teenagers who say they liked this movie, [[TwerpSweating do not let them date your children.]]
-->--'''Creator/RogerEbert''' on ''Film/ResidentEvilApocalypse''

[[/folder]]

->{{In a world}} where video games to film adaptations suck ass, [[Film/StreetFighterTheLegendOfChunLi this movie]] will totally fall beyond your expectations. And then some more.

->After watching this, in mounting aghastment, I've now realized why it's so bad. It's because it's good. Unfortunately, what it's good at is being [[BaitAndSwitchComment a movie of a computer game.]] If you've played your way through the TR games you'll realize that. The atmosphere of the locations, the way Lara runs and fires, the traps ... someone sat through all the games, taking notes. It's truer to the feel of the games than most novel-based movies are to the original novel. Time and care was spent on that. Then, since the games have no characterization, or any plot much above the level of "get all the bits", they pasted together an inconsistent load of old garbage in twenty minutes and hoped the SFX would carry it. They don't.

->Hollywood doesn't make good video game movies for the same reason General Motors doesn't make motorized unicycles: they're stupid ideas, there's very little money in it and they aren't very good at making their regular product to begin with. They're not adapting the license to tell the epic story on the cinematic field of wonder--they're doing it because they are literally out of ideas.

->Rule number one in making a movie about ''Street Fighter'' is to take the characters and have them fight. Rule number two [[CaptainObvious shouldn't have to exist,]] but if it did, it would be filling the time between fights with musical training montages or [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs musical montages of shorter fights]]. Ignoring these simple rules I just invented ten years after they made it, ''Street Fighter'' was so desperate to keep a fight from breaking out they went so far as to turn Dhalsim into a lab technician and Chun Li, E. Honda, and Balrog into telejournalists.

->This movie just sucked on every single level... It makes an episode of ''Series/WalkerTexasRanger'' (a bad episode) look like ''Film/LAConfidential''. I’m not even going to go into how the movie is nothing like the game because that would be shooting fish in a barrel. I’m talking about [[ClicheStorm cliches that were old 40 years ago]] and {{plot hole}}s you could drive a Mack truck through. The “mystery”, if you could call it that, doesn’t exactly need Franchise/SherlockHolmes to solve. Larry Holmes could solve it.

->'''Tails:''' So what did you think of the movie?\\
'''Sonic:''' I mean, sure it had some flaws but honestly it was pretty good. And I'm not talking "pretty good for a video game movie good", I'm talking "good-good", ''[[Film/TheBeastmaster Beastmaster]]'' good!\\
[...]\\
'''Sonic:''' All in all, it was good kids movie and I'm glad the adult fans got what they wanted. [[TakeThatAudience Which caused a bunch of VFX artists to work insane hours only to get laid off and have the studio shut down once the movie was finished.]]\\

->CHRIST, is that the ''Film/SilentHill'' movie on VHS?! Don't watch dat. No no no no no. Don't watch dat. Don't wa--\\\
[cut to TV room, James hangs his head in a suicidal depression]\\\
He watched it.

->If ''Film/SuperMarioBros'' was the first nail in the coffin of movies based on video games, then ''Wing Commander'' was the last because--believe me--nobody '''''ever''''' took video game movies seriously after this [[FranchiseKiller complete and utter ruination]] of gaming's best original sci-fi saga. They shoulda just saved themselves a heap of trouble and put some kid's [[LetsPlay LP]] of ''Wing Commander IV'' in theaters. ([[BoxOfficeBomb Woulda made a lot more money.]])

->The answer really is simple: What is the best video game movie? It hasn't been made yet.

->Wasn't the original plot of ''Double Dragon'' [[NoPlotNoProblem 'Someone punches a chick in the stomach and two guys have to go rescue her]]'? What, was that story just '''too complex''' for the writers to figure out?

->There's a saying when it comes to video game movies and it goes something like this: Video game movies suck.
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''', setting up the review of ''Film/LaraCroftTombRaider''

->The créme of the crap in Uwe Boll's abysmal resumé, a film so bad the worst part comes ''before'' the camera even starts running. For a film that is called ''Alone In The Dark'', barely ever is anyone alone at any given time. What constitutes "horror" in this film is turning the light switches on and off again, as well as casting Tara Reid as a scientist. This film is the very reason we list Uwe Boll as the #1 Worst Director in Hollywood.

[[folder:Webcomics]]

->This movie just sucked on every single level... It makes an episode of ''Series/WalkerTexasRanger'' (a bad episode) look like ''Film/LAConfidential''. I’m not even going to go into how the movie is nothing like the game because that would be shooting fish in a barrel. I’m talking about [[ClicheStorm cliches that were old 40 years ago]] and {{plot hole}}s you could drive a Mack truck through. The “mystery”, if you could call it that, doesn’t exactly need Sherlock Holmes to solve. Larry Holmes could solve it.

->If ''Film/SuperMarioBros'' was the first nail in the coffin of movies based on video games, then ''Wing Commander'' was the last because--believe me--nobody '''''ever''''' took video game movies seriously after this [[FranchiseKiller complete and utter ruination]] of gaming's best original sci-fi saga. They shoulda just saved themselves a heap of trouble and put some kid's LP of ''Wing Commander IV'' in theaters. ([[BoxOfficeBomb Woulda made a lot more money.]])

-->-- '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''', setting up the review of ''Film/TombRaider''

-->-- '''Creator/Terry Pratchett''' [[http://news.ansible.co.uk/a173.html on]] ''Film/LaraCroftTombRaider''

->If ''Film/SuperMarioBros'' was the first nail in the coffin of movies based on video games, then ''Wing Commander'' was the last because, believe me, nobody ''ever'' took video game movies seriously after this [[FranchiseKiller complete and utter ruination]] of gaming's best original sci-fi saga. They shoulda just saved themselves a heap of trouble and put some kid's LP of ''Wing Commander IV'' in theaters. ([[BoxOfficeBomb Woulda made a lot more money.]])

->After watching this, in mounting aghastment, I've now realized why it's so bad. It's because it's good. Unfortunately, what it's good at is being a movie of a computer game. If you've played your way through the TR games you'll realize that. The atmosphere of the locations, the way Lara runs and fires, the traps ... someone sat through all the games, taking notes. It's truer to the feel of the games than most novel-based movies are to the original novel. Time and care was spent on that. Then, since the games have no characterization, or any plot much above the level of "get all the bits", they pasted together an inconsistent load of old garbage in twenty minutes and hoped the SFX would carry it. They don't.

-->-- '''[[http://news.ansible.co.uk/a173.html Terry Pratchett]]''', on the ''Film/LaraCroftTombRaider'' movie.

->{{In a world}} where video games to film adaptations suck ass, [[Film/StreetFighterTheLegendOfChunLi this movie]] will totally fall beyond your expectations. And then some more.
-->-- ''Webcomic/VGCats [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Net6nLi0-WI Adaptation With No Name]]''

!!!Reviews

->Wasn't the original plot of ''Double Dragon'' [[NoPlotNoProblem 'Someone punches a chick in the stomach and two guys have to go rescue her]]'? What, was that story just ''too complex'' for the writers to figure out?
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''' on ''[[Film/DoubleDragon Double Dragon]]''

->After watching this, in mounting aghastment, I've now realized why it's so bad. It's because it's good. Unfortunately, what it's good at is being a movie of a computer game. If you've played your way through the TR games you'll realize that. The atmosphere of the locations, the way Lara runs and fires, the traps ... someone sat through all the games, taking notes. It's truer to the feel of the games than most novel-based movies are to the original novel. Time and care was spent on that. Then, since the games have no characterization, or any plot much above the level of "get all the bits", they pasted together an inconsistent load of old garbage in twenty minutes and hoped the SFX would carry it. They don't.
-->-- '''[[http://news.ansible.co.uk/a173.html Terry Pratchett]]''', on the ''Film/LaraCroftTombRaider'' movie.

->The answer really is simple: What is the best video game movie? It hasn't been made yet.
-->-- '''Joshua Ovenshire''', ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuZHZIQjL1M&list=PLFWHlH4koGZAeH9x2wWeTB32VCESjRI51 Best & Worst Video Game Movies]]''

->They tried to apply characters and a plot to this? It's ''VideoGame/{{DOOM}}''! People play ''DOOM'' to get away from talking. We only liked it because it was all about blowing stuff up REAL GOOD. The game was made during an era when people didn't care a kangaroo's nipple about plots in a first-person shooter. In fact, at the first sign of plot or text screens, our left hands would jerk spasmodically to the ESC key SO WE COULD GET BACK TO THE SHOOTING.
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]]''' on ''{{Film/Doom}}''

-->--'''Creator/RogerEbert''' on ''[[Film/ResidentEvil Resident Evil: Apocalypse]]''

-->--'''Creator/RogerEbert''' on [[''Film/ResidentEvil'' Resident Evil: Apocalypse]]

-->--'''Creator/RogerEbert''' on ''Film/ResidentEvil''

->''"Quick! Change the channel!"''

-> ''"In a world, where video games to film adaptations suck ass, this movie will totally fall beyond your expectations. And then some more. ''Film/StreetFighterTheLegendOfChunLi''!"''

->''"Wasn't the original plot of ''Double Dragon'' [[NoPlotNoProblem 'Someone punches a chick in the stomach and two guys have to go rescue her]]'? What, was that story just ''too complex'' for the writers to figure out?"''

->''"Hollywood doesn't make good video game movies for the same reason General Motors doesn't make motorized unicycles: they're stupid ideas, there's very little money in it and they aren't very good at making their regular product to begin with. They're not adapting the license to tell the epic story on the cinematic field of wonder--they're doing it because they are literally out of ideas."''

->''"Rule number one in making a movie about ''StreetFighter'' is to take the characters and have them fight. Rule number two [[CaptainObvious shouldn't have to exist,]] but if it did, it would be filling the time between fights with musical training montages or [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs musical montages of shorter fights]]. Ignoring these simple rules I just invented ten years after they made it, ''Street Fighter'' was so desperate to keep a fight from breaking out they went so far as to turn Dhalsim into a lab technician and Chun Li, E. Honda, and Balrog into telejournalists."''

->''"After watching this, in mounting aghastment, I've now realized why it's so bad. It's because it's good. Unfortunately, what it's good at is being a movie of a computer game. If you've played your way through the TR games you'll realize that. The atmosphere of the locations, the way Lara runs and fires, the traps ... someone sat through all the games, taking notes. It's truer to the feel of the games than most novel-based movies are to the original novel. Time and care was spent on that. Then, since the games have no characterization, or any plot much above the level of "get all the bits", they pasted together an inconsistent load of old garbage in twenty minutes and hoped the SFX would carry it. They don't."''

->''"The answer really is simple: What is the best video game movie? It hasn't been made yet. It's just very simple. There's movies that get close; I don't want to kill myself after watching it, but there's no good, definitive, "that was a video game movie done right"."''

->''"They tried to apply characters and a plot to this? It's ''VideoGame/{{DOOM}}''! People play ''DOOM'' to get away from talking. We only liked it because it was all about blowing stuff up REAL GOOD. The game was made during an era when people didn't care a kangaroo's nipple about plots in a first-person shooter. In fact, at the first sign of plot or text screens, our left hands would jerk spasmodically to the ESC key SO WE COULD GET BACK TO THE SHOOTING."''

->''"This movie just sucked on every single level... It makes an episode of ''Series/WalkerTexasRanger'' (a bad episode) look like ''Film/LAConfidential''. I’m not even going to go into how the movie is nothing like the game because that would be shooting fish in a barrel. I’m talking about [[ClicheStorm cliches that were old 40 years ago]] and {{plot hole}}s you could drive a Mack truck through. The “mystery”, if you could call it that, doesn’t exactly need Sherlock Holmes to solve. Larry Holmes could solve it."''

->''"Nintendo games rock. Movies based on Nintendo games blow. Movies ABOUT Nintendo games [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs BLOW ROCKS!]]
-->--'''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic'''

->''"Wasn't the original plot of ''[[VideoGame/DoubleDragon Double Dragon]]'' 'Someone punches a chick in the stomach and two guys have to go rescue her'? What, was that story just ''too complex'' for the writers to figure out?"''

->''"Nintendo games rock. Movies based on Nintendo games blow. Therefore, movies ''about'' Nintendo games '''[[BreadEggsBreadedEggs blow rocks]].'''"''
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''' on ''Film/TheWizard''

-> ''"In a world, where video games to film adaptations suck ass, this movie will totally fall beyond your expectations. And then some more. Street Fighter, the Legend Of Chun Li!"''

->''Rule number one in making a movie about ''StreetFighter'' is to take the characters and have them fight. Rule number two shouldn't have to exist, but if it did, it would be filling the time between fights with musical training montages or [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs musical montages of shorter fights]]. Ignoring these simple rules I just invented ten years after they made it, ''Street Fighter'' was so desperate to keep a fight from breaking out they went so far as to turn Dhalsim into a lab technician and Chun Li, E. Honda, and Balrog into telejournalists.''

-->-- '''''{{Website/Cracked}}'''', [[http://www.cracked.com/funny-2232-video-game-movies/ Video Game Movies as represented by Super Mario Bros. sprites.]]'''

->''"Nintendo games rock. Movies based on Nintendo games blow. Therefore, movies ''about'' Nintendo games ''[[BreadEggsBreadedEggs blow rocks]]!''''

->''"The answer really is simple: What is the best video game movie? It hasn't been made yet. It's just very simple. There's movies that get close; I don't want to kill myself after watching it, but there's no good, definitive, "that was a video game movie done right"."''
-->-- '''Joshua Ovenshire''', ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuZHZIQjL1M&list=PLFWHlH4koGZAeH9x2wWeTB32VCESjRI51 Best & Worst Video Game Movies]]''

->''Hollywood doesn't make good video game movies for the same reason General Motors doesn't make motorized unicycles: they're stupid ideas, there's very little money in it and they aren't very good at making their regular product to begin with. They're not adapting the license to tell the epic story on the cinematic field of wonder--they're doing it because they are literally out of ideas.''
-->-- '''[[http://www.cracked.com/funny-2232-video-game-movies/ Cracked.com]]'''

->''After watching this, in mounting aghastment, I've now realized why it's so bad. It's because it's good. Unfortunately, what it's good at is being a movie of a computer game. If you've played your way through the TR games you'll realize that. The atmosphere of the locations, the way Lara runs and fires, the traps ... someone sat through all the games, taking notes. It's truer to the feel of the games than most novel-based movies are to the original novel. Time and care was spent on that. Then, since the games have no characterization, or any plot much above the level of "get all the bits", they pasted together an inconsistent load of old garbage in twenty minutes and hoped the SFX would carry it. They don't.''

->''They tried to apply characters and a plot to this? It's ''VideoGame/{{DOOM}}''! People play DOOM to get away from talking. We only liked it because it was all about blowing stuff up REAL GOOD. The game was made during an era when people didn't care a kangaroo's nipple about plots in a first-person shooter. In fact, at the first sign of plot or text screens, our left hands would jerk spasmodically to the ESC key SO WE COULD GET BACK TO THE SHOOTING.''
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment The Spoony One]]'''

->''"Quick! Change the channel!"''
-->-- '''Zangief''', ''Film/StreetFighter''

->''"Folks, why is it that movies based on video games always seem to suck monkey tits?"''
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''', on the ''Film/DoubleDragon'' movie

->''"Nintendo games rock. Movies based on Nintendo games blow. Therefore, movies ''about'' Nintendo games ''[[BreadEggsBreadedEggs blow rocks]]!''''
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''' on ''Film/TheWizard''