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->There is a quaint tradition in the various propaganda departmentos of the Administratum of marketing agri worlds as quasi-paradises, free of the squalor and overcrowding of a standard urban station, and full of bucolic ease. Vid-cards are dropped into communal hab-warrens, extolling the virtues of a life lived outdoors with the sun on your back and a ruddy-faced boy or girl – subject to preference – by your side.\\
In reality, life on an agri world is as unrelenting, back-breaking and monotonous as the vast majority of other Imperial vocations. There are no trees laden with glossy fruit, only kilometre after kilometre of hissing corn. There are no gentle strolls under the warming sun, only punishing work details in rad-suits, leaning into the dust-laden winds that howl around the equator with nothing to halt their rampage.\\
Once the new arrivals have made planetfall and found this out, it is too late. Crew transports arrive on agri worlds full and leave empty. There is a saying among the indentured workers – you come for the soil, you end up part of it.
-->--''Literature/LordsOfSilence'', a ''TabletopGame/Warhammer40000'' novel
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->''"[[PetPeeveTrope You know what I'm sick of?]] I'm sick of commercials that show us 4X4 trucks popping up to the top of Mount Rushmore and parking on top of Abraham Lincoln's head, OK? I'm sick of shampoo commercials that try to convince women that they can look like [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claudia_Schiffer Claudia Schiffer]] after one cycle of rinse and repeat."''
-->-- '''Gil Mars''', ''Film/SmallSoldiers''
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Updating Link


->It took you twenty-two and a half, nearly twenty-three minutes of your forty-five... minute long.... fucking movie... to get to what was shown on the cover! '''The first line of the DVD is "Tangled up is the fabulous fairy tale of Rapunzel"! You lied to me!''' Franchise/SpiderMan, you betrayed my trust. How dare you, Brightspark? How fucking dare you? I thought you were kind of funny before, but now... you're my fucking mortal enemy now. Fuck you, Brightspark. Fuck you for repurposing random animated TV features from The Nineties and selling them as Disney movie ripoffs. You should be ashamed. You should be fucking ashamed! You'll be hearing from my lawyer team about this!

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->It took you twenty-two and a half, nearly twenty-three minutes of your forty-five... minute long.... fucking movie... to get to what was shown on the cover! '''The first line of the DVD is "Tangled up is the fabulous fairy tale of Rapunzel"! You lied to me!''' Franchise/SpiderMan, ComicBook/SpiderMan, you betrayed my trust. How dare you, Brightspark? How fucking dare you? I thought you were kind of funny before, but now... you're my fucking mortal enemy now. Fuck you, Brightspark. Fuck you for repurposing random animated TV features from The Nineties and selling them as Disney movie ripoffs. You should be ashamed. You should be fucking ashamed! You'll be hearing from my lawyer team about this!
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->'''Richard Hammond:''' Well, my [Lonely Hearts] advert went like this: “Porsche 924 owner (got it in first), good looking, mild-mannered, snappy dresser, 5 foot 11–"
->'''Jeremy Clarkson: ''[[BigWHAT WHAT?!]]''''' …[[TheNapoleon 5’11”??]]
->'''James May:''' [[HotBlooded Mild-mannered?!]]
->'''Richard Hammond:''' It’s a “Lonely Hearts” ad! [[LampshadeHanging If I put “angry, short bloke”, I won’t get any replies!]]
-->-- '''Series/TopGearUK'''[[labelnote:For the record…]]…[[ShaggyDogStory he still got no replies.]][[/labelnote]]
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It still fits and its pretty succinct.



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->Advertising is legalized lying.
-->-- '''Creator/HGWells'''

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Removing examples added by frequent ban-evader Johnnyfog.


->A truckload of 'white salmon'. Have you ever even '''heard''' of white salmon?! [[HeroWorshipper Guy could sell anything.]]
-->--'''Bruno Gianelli''' on P.T. Barnum, ''Series/TheWestWing'' ("Search or Browse")

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->A truckload of 'white salmon'. Have you ever even '''heard''' of white salmon?! [[HeroWorshipper Guy could sell anything.]]
-->--'''Bruno Gianelli''' on P.T. Barnum, ''Series/TheWestWing'' ("Search or Browse")



->I'm making you a sales engineer, you'll be paid on commission. When our sales reps lie, it will be your job to make it look like the truth. Try to avoid facts.
-->-- '''ComicStrip/{{Dilbert}}'''



->Advertising is legalized lying.
-->--'''Creator/HGWells'''

->The point of advertising is to destroy markets.
-->--'''Noam Chomsky'''

->Despite what they say -- and often even think -- many, perhaps most, companies are surreptitiously at war with their customers. Through nuisance games, dirty tricks and small print they take every opportunity to extract more from your wallet for no extra service.
-->--'''Simon Caulkin'''

->Drug companies are a bit like high school boyfriends: They're much more concerned with being inside you than being effective once they're in there.
-->--''Series/LastWeekTonightWithJohnOliver'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQZ2UeOTO3I on]] marketing to doctors

->The Detroit Emeralds were formed in the mid-[=60s=], deep in the heart of motor city -- [[FlyoverCountry Little Rock, Arkansas!]]
-->--'''WebVideo/ToddInTheShadows''', "One Hit Wonderland" ("[[http://blip.tv/todds-pop-song-reviews/one-hit-wonderland-float-on-6799817 Float On]]")

->What the modern industry certainly ''hasn't'' learned from the ''Daikatana'' fable is not to regard its audience with '''''absolute giggling contempt.'''''
-->--'''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''' on ''{{VideoGame/Daikatana}}''

->It's the right hand of Zeus, bitches. You don't control the Power Glove, you're just along for the ride. You get blown into ''another dimension'' when you use it. What kid saw this and ''didn't'' covet the Power Glove?\\\
It would have been great if it had actually worked. I mean it didn't work. AT ALL. It was AWFUL. Sure it might have taken you to another dimension of gaming, if that dimension was full of ass and shit biscuits.
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]]''' [[http://spoonyexperiment.com/the-wizard/ on]] ''Film/TheWizard''

->Choosing a cruise without prior knowledge of guests is a bit like a game of [[RussianRoulette Russian nerd roulette]], as past cruises have had guests like Robert Picardo, the doctor from ''[[Series/StarTrekVoyager Voyager]]'', and even Creator/JamesDoohan (hopefully before he died), who played Scotty in [[Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries the original series]], which would probably be cool guests for a ''[[Franchise/StarTrek Trek]]'' fan to meet. On the other hand, some cruises included [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg a script coordinator]] and Richard Biggs, who played a character on ''Series/BabylonFive'', which is kind of like ''Star Trek'' if you squint.
-->-- '''''Website/{{Cracked}}''''', "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-7-most-profoundly-depressing-celebrity-cruises/#ixzz2e9ASsaSn The 7 Most Profoundly Depressing Celebrity Cruises]]"

->3 months ago that we learned [[Music/LadyGaga Papa Gaga]] (government name: Joseph Germanotta) was running the restaurant from ''WesternAnimation/{{Ratatouille}}'', but it seems his restaurant problems don’t stop at rodents. Pulling up Joanne Trattoria on Yelp gives you an all-you-can eat buffet of crappy reviews to scroll through. Here are some of my favorites:\\\
'We complained to him about the pasta and told him that the garlic knots were stale and he [[GetOut told us we had to leave]]. If we did not, he would call the cops.'\\\
'If this is what passes for Italian food than [[PretenderDiss chef boyarde]] is the greatest of all time.'\\\
'I HAVE HAD BETTER ITALIAN AT THE OLIVE GARDEN.'
-->--'''''[[http://dlisted.com/2013/11/16/how-very-subtle-of-you-lady-gaga/ DListed]]'''''

->Their slogan, which you've heard, goes, "It's not delivery, it's [=DiGiorno=]." There are a couple reasons this is insane. First, no one outside of a [=DiGiorno=]'s commercial has ever called pizza "delivery." The term isn't exactly incorrect, it's just not what people say. It's like calling a person "[[HughMann Earth creature]]." You're not entirely wrong, but you're probably from outer space.
-->--'''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', [[http://www.smosh.com/smosh-pit/articles/5-most-pointlessly-strange-ad-campaigns "5 Most Pointlessly Strange Ad Campaigns"]]

->So in terms of fast food sandwich choices, we're pretty much left with Pot Belly or an open fucking sewer masquerading as an eatery. That might sound unnecessarily harsh, but Subway got where it is by selling the shittiest ingredients imaginable (I'm pretty sure most of their lunch meats have to be legally classified as industrial insulation), underpaying employees, cutting corners, using toasters Wile E. Coyote would give side-eye towards, and performing a Jedi Mind Trick on customers to make them think that their shit is cheaper than it actually is (if you get a combo, it's actually one of the more expensive fast food chains).
-->--'''''Jezebel''''', [[http://kitchenette.jezebel.com/quiznos-files-for-chapter-11-bankruptcy-protection-1544168375/@markshrayber "Quizno's Files For Chapter 11 Bankruptcy"]]

to:

->Advertising is legalized lying.
-->--'''Creator/HGWells'''

->The point of advertising is to destroy markets.
-->--'''Noam Chomsky'''

->Despite what they say -- and often even think -- many, perhaps most, companies are surreptitiously at war with their customers. Through nuisance games, dirty tricks and small print they take every opportunity to extract more from your wallet for no extra service.
-->--'''Simon Caulkin'''

->Drug companies are a bit like high school boyfriends: They're much more concerned with being inside you than being effective once they're in there.
-->--''Series/LastWeekTonightWithJohnOliver'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQZ2UeOTO3I on]] marketing to doctors

->The Detroit Emeralds were formed in the mid-[=60s=], deep in the heart of motor city -- [[FlyoverCountry Little Rock, Arkansas!]]
-->--'''WebVideo/ToddInTheShadows''', "One Hit Wonderland" ("[[http://blip.tv/todds-pop-song-reviews/one-hit-wonderland-float-on-6799817 Float On]]")

->What the modern industry certainly ''hasn't'' learned from the ''Daikatana'' fable is not to regard its audience with '''''absolute giggling contempt.'''''
-->--'''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''' on ''{{VideoGame/Daikatana}}''

->It's the right hand of Zeus, bitches. You don't control the Power Glove, you're just along for the ride. You get blown into ''another dimension'' when you use it. What kid saw this and ''didn't'' covet the Power Glove?\\\
It would have been great if it had actually worked. I mean it didn't work. AT ALL. It was AWFUL. Sure it might have taken you to another dimension of gaming, if that dimension was full of ass and shit biscuits.
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]]''' [[http://spoonyexperiment.com/the-wizard/ on]] ''Film/TheWizard''

->Choosing a cruise without prior knowledge of guests is a bit like a game of [[RussianRoulette Russian nerd roulette]], as past cruises have had guests like Robert Picardo, the doctor from ''[[Series/StarTrekVoyager Voyager]]'', and even Creator/JamesDoohan (hopefully before he died), who played Scotty in [[Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries the original series]], which would probably be cool guests for a ''[[Franchise/StarTrek Trek]]'' fan to meet. On the other hand, some cruises included [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg a script coordinator]] and Richard Biggs, who played a character on ''Series/BabylonFive'', which is kind of like ''Star Trek'' if you squint.
-->-- '''''Website/{{Cracked}}''''', "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-7-most-profoundly-depressing-celebrity-cruises/#ixzz2e9ASsaSn The 7 Most Profoundly Depressing Celebrity Cruises]]"

->3 months ago that we learned [[Music/LadyGaga Papa Gaga]] (government name: Joseph Germanotta) was running the restaurant from ''WesternAnimation/{{Ratatouille}}'', but it seems his restaurant problems don’t stop at rodents. Pulling up Joanne Trattoria on Yelp gives you an all-you-can eat buffet of crappy reviews to scroll through. Here are some of my favorites:\\\
'We complained to him about the pasta and told him that the garlic knots were stale and he [[GetOut told us we had to leave]]. If we did not, he would call the cops.'\\\
'If this is what passes for Italian food than [[PretenderDiss chef boyarde]] is the greatest of all time.'\\\
'I HAVE HAD BETTER ITALIAN AT THE OLIVE GARDEN.'
-->--'''''[[http://dlisted.com/2013/11/16/how-very-subtle-of-you-lady-gaga/ DListed]]'''''

->Their slogan, which you've heard, goes, "It's not delivery, it's [=DiGiorno=]." There are a couple reasons this is insane. First, no one outside of a [=DiGiorno=]'s commercial has ever called pizza "delivery." The term isn't exactly incorrect, it's just not what people say. It's like calling a person "[[HughMann Earth creature]]." You're not entirely wrong, but you're probably from outer space.
-->--'''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', [[http://www.smosh.com/smosh-pit/articles/5-most-pointlessly-strange-ad-campaigns "5 Most Pointlessly Strange Ad Campaigns"]]

->So in terms of fast food sandwich choices, we're pretty much left with Pot Belly or an open fucking sewer masquerading as an eatery. That might sound unnecessarily harsh, but Subway got where it is by selling the shittiest ingredients imaginable (I'm pretty sure most of their lunch meats have to be legally classified as industrial insulation), underpaying employees, cutting corners, using toasters Wile E. Coyote would give side-eye towards, and performing a Jedi Mind Trick on customers to make them think that their shit is cheaper than it actually is (if you get a combo, it's actually one of the more expensive fast food chains).
-->--'''''Jezebel''''', [[http://kitchenette.jezebel.com/quiznos-files-for-chapter-11-bankruptcy-protection-1544168375/@markshrayber "Quizno's Files For Chapter 11 Bankruptcy"]]
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[[folder:Real life]]

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[[folder:Real life]]Life]]
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[[folder:fiction]][[folder:Fiction]]



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[[folder:real [[folder:Real life]]
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Don't pothole in quotes.


->So in terms of fast food sandwich choices, we're pretty much left with Pot Belly or an open fucking sewer masquerading as an eatery. That might sound unnecessarily harsh, but Subway got where it is by selling the shittiest ingredients imaginable (I'm pretty sure most of their lunch meats have to be legally classified as industrial insulation), underpaying employees, cutting corners, using toasters [[WesternAnimation/WileECoyoteAndTheRoadRunner Wile E. Coyote]] would give [[EyeTake side-eye]] towards, and performing a Jedi Mind Trick on customers to make them think that their shit is cheaper than it actually is (if you get a combo, it's actually one of the more expensive fast food chains).

to:

->So in terms of fast food sandwich choices, we're pretty much left with Pot Belly or an open fucking sewer masquerading as an eatery. That might sound unnecessarily harsh, but Subway got where it is by selling the shittiest ingredients imaginable (I'm pretty sure most of their lunch meats have to be legally classified as industrial insulation), underpaying employees, cutting corners, using toasters [[WesternAnimation/WileECoyoteAndTheRoadRunner Wile E. Coyote]] Coyote would give [[EyeTake side-eye]] side-eye towards, and performing a Jedi Mind Trick on customers to make them think that their shit is cheaper than it actually is (if you get a combo, it's actually one of the more expensive fast food chains).



->Now let's have a look at those speakers. Remember, they're supposed to be 200W PMPO. "What's PMPO?", you might ask. It means absolutely nothing. It's just a marketing term; it doesn't really reflect anything at all. It's a little bit like saying that the maximum speed of this car[[note]]a pink toy car intended for toddlers[[/note]] is a hundred miles per hour... [[ExactWords if you throw it off a cliff]].

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->Now let's have a look at those speakers. Remember, they're supposed to be 200W PMPO. "What's PMPO?", you might ask. It means absolutely nothing. It's just a marketing term; it doesn't really reflect anything at all. It's a little bit like saying that the maximum speed of this car[[note]]a pink toy car intended for toddlers[[/note]] is a hundred miles per hour... [[ExactWords if you throw it off a cliff]].cliff.



->It took you twenty-two and a half, nearly twenty-three minutes of your [[PunctuatedForEmphasis forty-five... minute long.... fucking movie...]] [[CoversAlwaysLie to get to what was shown on the cover]]! '''The first line of the DVD is "Tangled up is the fabulous fairy tale of Rapunzel"! You lied to me!''' Franchise/SpiderMan, you betrayed my trust. How dare you, Brightspark? How fucking dare you? I thought you were kind of funny before, but now... you're my fucking mortal enemy now. Fuck you, Brightspark. Fuck you for repurposing random animated TV features from UsefulNotes/TheNineties and selling them as Creator/{{Disney}} movie [[TheMockbuster ripoffs]]. You should be ashamed. You should be fucking ashamed! You'll be hearing from my lawyer team about this!

to:

->It took you twenty-two and a half, nearly twenty-three minutes of your [[PunctuatedForEmphasis forty-five... minute long.... fucking movie...]] [[CoversAlwaysLie to get to what was shown on the cover]]! cover! '''The first line of the DVD is "Tangled up is the fabulous fairy tale of Rapunzel"! You lied to me!''' Franchise/SpiderMan, you betrayed my trust. How dare you, Brightspark? How fucking dare you? I thought you were kind of funny before, but now... you're my fucking mortal enemy now. Fuck you, Brightspark. Fuck you for repurposing random animated TV features from UsefulNotes/TheNineties The Nineties and selling them as Creator/{{Disney}} Disney movie [[TheMockbuster ripoffs]].ripoffs. You should be ashamed. You should be fucking ashamed! You'll be hearing from my lawyer team about this!



->This controller is so advanced it can introduce a combo system into [[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaBreathOfTheWild a game with no combo system]].

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->This controller is so advanced it can introduce a combo system into [[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaBreathOfTheWild a game with no combo system]].system.
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-->-- '''WebVideo/IHateEverything''', after a "''WesternAnimation/{{Tangled}}'' [[TheMockbuster Mockbuster]]" turned out to be a bunch of educational shorts telling random fairytales (specifically, ''Britannica's Tales Around the World''), ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRbjyMnX62A The (NOT DISNEY) Collection - The Search for the Worst]]''.

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-->-- '''WebVideo/IHateEverything''', after a "''WesternAnimation/{{Tangled}}'' [[TheMockbuster Mockbuster]]" turned out to be a bunch of educational shorts telling random fairytales (specifically, ''Britannica's Tales Around the World''), ''WesternAnimation/BritannicasTalesAroundTheWorld''), ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRbjyMnX62A The (NOT DISNEY) Collection - The Search for the Worst]]''.
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-->-- '''WebVideo/IHateEverything''', after a "''Disney/{{Tangled}}'' [[TheMockbuster Mockbuster]]" turned out to be a bunch of educational shorts telling random fairytales (specifically, ''Britannica's Tales Around the World''), ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRbjyMnX62A The (NOT DISNEY) Collection - The Search for the Worst]]''.

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-->-- '''WebVideo/IHateEverything''', after a "''Disney/{{Tangled}}'' "''WesternAnimation/{{Tangled}}'' [[TheMockbuster Mockbuster]]" turned out to be a bunch of educational shorts telling random fairytales (specifically, ''Britannica's Tales Around the World''), ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRbjyMnX62A The (NOT DISNEY) Collection - The Search for the Worst]]''.
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->This controller is so advanced it can introduce a combo system into [[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaBreathOfTheWild a game with no combo system]].
-->-- '''Alex Olney''', [[https://twitter.com/Alex_Olney/status/969842758310678528 Twitter]]
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->It took you twenty-two and a half, nearly twenty-three minutes of your [[PunctuatedForEmphasis forty-five... minute long.... fucking movie...]] [[CoversAlwaysLie to get to what was shown on the cover]]! '''The first line of the DVD is "Tangled up is the fabulous fairy tale of Rapunzel"! You lied to me!''' Franchise/SpiderMan, you betrayed my trust. How dare you, Brightspark? How fucking dare you? I thought you were kind of funny before, but now... you're my fucking mortal enemy now. Fuck you, Brightspark. Fuck you for repurposing random animated TV features from UsefulNotes/TheNineties and selling them as Franchise/{{Disney}} movie [[TheMockbuster ripoffs]]. You should be ashamed. You should be fucking ashamed! You'll be hearing from my lawyer team about this!

to:

->It took you twenty-two and a half, nearly twenty-three minutes of your [[PunctuatedForEmphasis forty-five... minute long.... fucking movie...]] [[CoversAlwaysLie to get to what was shown on the cover]]! '''The first line of the DVD is "Tangled up is the fabulous fairy tale of Rapunzel"! You lied to me!''' Franchise/SpiderMan, you betrayed my trust. How dare you, Brightspark? How fucking dare you? I thought you were kind of funny before, but now... you're my fucking mortal enemy now. Fuck you, Brightspark. Fuck you for repurposing random animated TV features from UsefulNotes/TheNineties and selling them as Franchise/{{Disney}} Creator/{{Disney}} movie [[TheMockbuster ripoffs]]. You should be ashamed. You should be fucking ashamed! You'll be hearing from my lawyer team about this!
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-->--'''Minerva Mink''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Animaniacs}}'' ([[http://www.minervaminkspondsidehaven.com/comics/32page4.jpg the print comic]]

to:

-->--'''Minerva Mink''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Animaniacs}}'' ([[http://www.minervaminkspondsidehaven.com/comics/32page4.jpg the (the print comic]]
comic)
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-->--''[[{{Garfield}} Garfield in Paradise]]''

to:

-->--''[[{{Garfield}} -->--''[[ComicStrip/{{Garfield}} Garfield in Paradise]]''
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->Took you twenty-two and a half, nearly twenty-three minutes of your [[PunctuatedForEmphasis forty-five... minute long.... fucking movie...]] to get to what was shown on the cover! '''The first line of the DVD is "Tangled up is the fabulous fairy tale of Rapunzel"! YOU LIED TO ME!''' Franchise/SpiderMan, you betrayed my trust. How dare you, Brightspark? How fucking dare you? I thought you were kind of funny before, but now... you're my fucking mortal enemy now. Fuck you, Brightspark. Fuck you for repurposing random animated TV features from UsefulNotes/TheNineties and selling them as Franchise/{{Disney}} movie [[TheMockbuster ripoffs]]. You should be ashamed. You should be fucking ashamed! You'll be hearing from my lawyer team about this!

to:

->Took ->It took you twenty-two and a half, nearly twenty-three minutes of your [[PunctuatedForEmphasis forty-five... minute long.... fucking movie...]] [[CoversAlwaysLie to get to what was shown on the cover! cover]]! '''The first line of the DVD is "Tangled up is the fabulous fairy tale of Rapunzel"! YOU LIED TO ME!''' You lied to me!''' Franchise/SpiderMan, you betrayed my trust. How dare you, Brightspark? How fucking dare you? I thought you were kind of funny before, but now... you're my fucking mortal enemy now. Fuck you, Brightspark. Fuck you for repurposing random animated TV features from UsefulNotes/TheNineties and selling them as Franchise/{{Disney}} movie [[TheMockbuster ripoffs]]. You should be ashamed. You should be fucking ashamed! You'll be hearing from my lawyer team about this!
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->Took you twenty-two and a half, nearly twenty-three minutes of your [[PunctuatedForEmphasis forty-five... minute long.... fucking movie...]] to get to what was shown on the cover! '''The first line of the DVD is "Tangled up is the fabulous fairy tale of Rapunzel"! YOU LIED TO ME!''' Franchise/SpiderMan, you betrayed my trust. How dare you, Brightspark? How fucking dare you? I thought you were kind of funny before, but now... you're my fucking mortal enemy now. Fuck you, Brightspark. Fuck you for repurposing random animated TV features from UsefulNotes/TheNineties and selling them as Franchise/{{Disney}} movie [[TheMockbuster ripoffs]]. You should be ashamed. You should be fucking ashamed! You'll be hearing from my lawyer team about this!
-->-- '''WebVideo/IHateEverything''', after a "''Disney/{{Tangled}}'' [[TheMockbuster Mockbuster]]" turned out to be a bunch of educational shorts telling random fairytales (specifically, ''Britannica's Tales Around the World''), ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRbjyMnX62A The (NOT DISNEY) Collection - The Search for the Worst]]''.
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->'''"Steve Pinington"''': Hi, I'm Steve Pinington! Are you sick of bandages that are hard to remove? Then what you need is [[OurSloganIsTerrible The Rip Off]]! The Rip Off [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial won't give you rashes]], I repeat, it ''won't'' give you rashes.\\
'''Grunkle Stan''': It gave you rashes.

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->'''"Steve Pinington"''': Pinington" (Past!Stan)''': Hi, I'm Steve Pinington! Are you sick of bandages that are hard to remove? Then what you need is [[OurSloganIsTerrible The Rip Off]]! The Rip Off [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial won't give you rashes]], I repeat, it ''won't'' give you rashes.\\
'''Grunkle Stan''': '''Present!Stan''': It gave you rashes.

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