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Fiction
Hey! I can say anything about this junk and these chumps will buy it!
—Minerva Mink, Animaniacs (the print comic)
Jon: "Beach. You know — sand... with water along it... this is the Seaside Motel, isn't it?"
Desk Clerk: "Mr. Arbuckle... what's in a name?"
Desk Clerk: "Mr. Arbuckle... what's in a name?"
At last the flight was booked, with all of the additions
We'd read the reams of smallprint, of terms and conditions
And then picked up the charge for using VISA which was drastic
Cause how the feck are you supposed to pay if not with fecking plastic?
Cheap flights, cheap flights, we paid the fecking fee
Because by now we were committed to the flights for 50p
Diddly aiden daidin daidin dai (x3)
Someone's being diddled and it's us, so it is
We'd read the reams of smallprint, of terms and conditions
And then picked up the charge for using VISA which was drastic
Cause how the feck are you supposed to pay if not with fecking plastic?
Cheap flights, cheap flights, we paid the fecking fee
Because by now we were committed to the flights for 50p
Diddly aiden daidin daidin dai (x3)
Someone's being diddled and it's us, so it is
—Amazing Aïda, Cheap Flights
"Steve Pinington" (Past!Stan): Hi, I'm Steve Pinington! Are you sick of bandages that are hard to remove? Then what you need is The Rip Off! The Rip Off won't give you rashes, I repeat, it won't give you rashes.
Present!Stan: It gave you rashes.
Present!Stan: It gave you rashes.
"You know what I'm sick of? I'm sick of commercials that show us 4X4 trucks popping up to the top of Mount Rushmore and parking on top of Abraham Lincoln's head, OK? I'm sick of shampoo commercials that try to convince women that they can look like Claudia Schiffer
after one cycle of rinse and repeat."
after one cycle of rinse and repeat."— Gil Mars, Small Soldiers
Richard Hammond: Well, my [Lonely Hearts] advert went like this: “Porsche 924 owner (got it in first), good looking, mild-mannered, snappy dresser, 5 foot 11–"
James May: Mild-mannered?!
Richard Hammond: It’s a “Lonely Hearts” ad! If I put “angry, short bloke”, I won’t get any replies!
— Top Gear (UK)For the record…
There is a quaint tradition in the various propaganda departmentos of the Administratum of marketing agri worlds as quasi-paradises, free of the squalor and overcrowding of a standard urban station, and full of bucolic ease. Vid-cards are dropped into communal hab-warrens, extolling the virtues of a life lived outdoors with the sun on your back and a ruddy-faced boy or girl – subject to preference – by your side.
In reality, life on an agri world is as unrelenting, back-breaking and monotonous as the vast majority of other Imperial vocations. There are no trees laden with glossy fruit, only kilometre after kilometre of hissing corn. There are no gentle strolls under the warming sun, only punishing work details in rad-suits, leaning into the dust-laden winds that howl around the equator with nothing to halt their rampage.
Once the new arrivals have made planetfall and found this out, it is too late. Crew transports arrive on agri worlds full and leave empty. There is a saying among the indentured workers – you come for the soil, you end up part of it.
In reality, life on an agri world is as unrelenting, back-breaking and monotonous as the vast majority of other Imperial vocations. There are no trees laden with glossy fruit, only kilometre after kilometre of hissing corn. There are no gentle strolls under the warming sun, only punishing work details in rad-suits, leaning into the dust-laden winds that howl around the equator with nothing to halt their rampage.
Once the new arrivals have made planetfall and found this out, it is too late. Crew transports arrive on agri worlds full and leave empty. There is a saying among the indentured workers – you come for the soil, you end up part of it.
—Lords Of Silence, a Warhammer 40,000 novel
Real Life
Advertising is legalized lying.
Now let's have a look at those speakers. Remember, they're supposed to be 200W PMPO. "What's PMPO?", you might ask. It means absolutely nothing. It's just a marketing term; it doesn't really reflect anything at all. It's a little bit like saying that the maximum speed of this carnote is a hundred miles per hour... if you throw it off a cliff.
—Techmoan, Boombox Time Capsule.
.It took you twenty-two and a half, nearly twenty-three minutes of your forty-five... minute long.... fucking movie... to get to what was shown on the cover! The first line of the DVD is "Tangled up is the fabulous fairy tale of Rapunzel"! You lied to me! Spider-Man, you betrayed my trust. How dare you, Brightspark? How fucking dare you? I thought you were kind of funny before, but now... you're my fucking mortal enemy now. Fuck you, Brightspark. Fuck you for repurposing random animated TV features from The Nineties and selling them as Disney movie ripoffs. You should be ashamed. You should be fucking ashamed! You'll be hearing from my lawyer team about this!
— I Hate Everything, after a "Tangled Mockbuster" turned out to be a bunch of educational shorts telling random fairytales (specifically, Britannica's Tales Around the World), The (NOT DISNEY) Collection - The Search for the Worst.
.This controller is so advanced it can introduce a combo system into a game with no combo system.
— Alex Olney, Twitter
