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Changed line(s) 23,24 (click to see context) from:
->'''[[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Bart Simpson]]:''' ...My dad was an abusive alcoholic, or whatever. He'd go to the bar, come home drunk, find out I'd fucked up at school, and he'd choke me out. ''(beat)'' He never hit mom or my sisters. He tried to be a good dad. We had some great times, man. He only got physical with me... I guess I was always thinking that one day he'd hurt mom or L--- or M-----. If I pissed him off, he'd only hurt me and that was okay.
->'''[[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy Chris Griffin]]:''' My family was a lot like B---'s... but different... My dad... ''(beat)'' My parents beat the shit out of my sister. Dad would make a joke about how worthless she was, and push her down the stairs, and just... laugh. And I did it, too. I didn't even know it was bad. It's just what my family ''did''. When I did realize it was wrong, I got scared. If I didn't hurt M-- too, maybe they'd start hurting me. M-- left home at 18 and I've never heard from her. I wish I could say I'm sorry.
->'''[[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy Chris Griffin]]:''' My family was a lot like B---'s... but different... My dad... ''(beat)'' My parents beat the shit out of my sister. Dad would make a joke about how worthless she was, and push her down the stairs, and just... laugh. And I did it, too. I didn't even know it was bad. It's just what my family ''did''. When I did realize it was wrong, I got scared. If I didn't hurt M-- too, maybe they'd start hurting me. M-- left home at 18 and I've never heard from her. I wish I could say I'm sorry.
to:
->'''[[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Bart Simpson]]:''' ...B—-]]:''' ...My dad was an abusive alcoholic, or whatever. He'd go to the bar, come home drunk, find out I'd fucked up at school, and he'd choke me out. ''(beat)'' He never hit mom or my sisters. He tried to be a good dad. We had some great times, man. He only got physical with me... I guess I was always thinking that one day he'd hurt mom or L--- or M-----. If I pissed him off, he'd only hurt me and that was okay.
->'''[[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuyChris Griffin]]:''' C——]]:''' My family was a lot like B---'s... but different... My dad... ''(beat)'' My parents beat the shit out of my sister. Dad would make a joke about how worthless she was, and push her down the stairs, and just... laugh. And I did it, too. I didn't even know it was bad. It's just what my family ''did''. When I did realize it was wrong, I got scared. If I didn't hurt M-- too, maybe they'd start hurting me. M-- left home at 18 and I've never heard from her. I wish I could say I'm sorry.
->'''[[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy
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Added DiffLines:
->''"I love my son [[ComicBook/TheMightyThor Thor]] and not my son Loki, and Santa agrees! My parenting is most inequitable!"''
-->-- '''Odin''', ''WesternAnimation/RobotChicken''
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Changed line(s) 1,28 (click to see context) from:
!!!Fictional
->''"Charizard! [[BigNo Nooooooo!]]... Oh, and froggy plant-whatever-a-saur."''
-->-- '''Boomstick''', ''WebAnimation/DeathBattle'' - "Franchise/{{Pokemon}} Starter Battle Royale"
->'''The Emperor of Mankind''': [[AC:Magnus, Fulgrim, Perturabo, Mortarion, Lorgar, Konrad, Angron, Alpharius Omegon, and Fucking Horus... My sons, created in the laboratories of Luna made out of my very own genes. [[AntagonisticOffspring To think that they would ever fucking betray me]].]]\\
'''"Kitten"''': Well, My Lord, at least Leman Russ, Ferrus Manus, Vulkan, Rogal Dorn, Roboute Guilliman, Sanguinius, Lion El'Johnson, Jaghatai Khan, and Corvus Corax remained loyal to you!\\
'''The Emperor of Mankind''': [[AC:That's still not fucking good enough. I mean, I was a great fucking father to all of them even if they all had their obvious flaws. Magnus being a nerdy fucking bookworm and a Psyker not ever being able to stand up to the brothers who bullied him over it. Fulgrim being a sissy fucking brown noser who would rather indulge himself in his secret quest to attain more fabulous hair than me. To this day, he has not succeeded. Perturabo was always so volatile and childish, constantly bitching and moaning when he didn't get as he wanted. Mortarion constantly smelt like shit from day one. Lorgar was a brainwashed choir boy with a massive victim complex. Konrad couldn't stand a little fucking sunlight, and kept feeling persecuted by his fantasies about a dark and depressing future. Angron was constantly mad. Like, extremely earth-shatteringly unreasonably fuck-ass mad. Probably because he had those fucking nails in his brain. Alpharius Omegon had huge anonymity issues. And Fucking Horus [[TheParagonAlwaysRebels started off nice and friendly, but then he decided to stop trusting me when I left for Terra and became an edgy rebel instead, leading all traitor legions to Terra. And then put me on this fucking throne]].]]\\
'''"Kitten"''': Right right, my Lord! It is no wonder the most flawed sons of yours betrayed you. The pure, noble and flawless ones were to remain naturally!\\
'''The Emperor of Mankind''': [[AC:I'd agree with you but nope. Even the loyal ones were flawed as fuck. Leman Russ was bigoted, self-righteous, unnecessarily rash, and had a fetish for wolves. Ferrus Manus was a brutish asscrack with a Survival-of-the-Fittest mindset, [[SocialDarwinist thinking all quote-unquote "weakness" within the human species needed to be destroyed]]. [[TheyKilledKennyAgain Vulkan died all the fucking time]] and was always too damn nice. Rogal Dorn was just [[BrutalHonesty way too uptight and brutally honest]], never being capable of even telling a white lie to make someone feel better about themselves. Roboute Guilliman always acted infallible in his steadfast clinging to [[CreativeSterility everything being held traditional, plain, and uncon-fucking-ventional]]. Yet wasn't as infallible as he wanted to believe. Lion El'Johnson was just a mess: [[JekyllAndHyde being both a self-absorbed, spiteful and envious prick and an honourable, courageous and dutiful warrior at the same time]]. Fucking confusing. Jaghatai Khan was always so fucking reckless and constantly hyped on speed. And lastly Corvus Corax [[{{Goth}} was always so infernally fucking angsty]].]]\\
'''"Kitten"''': Oh, I see, my Lord... Wait, what about Sanguinius?\\
'''The Emperor of Mankind''': [[AC:Don't you talk shit about [[ParentalFavoritism my fabulous fucking Hawk-Boy]]. [[HeroicSacrifice He died for me, so be grateful]].]]
-->--''WebAnimation/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDevice''
->''"Wrong kid died!"''
-->-- '''Dewey's father''', ''Film/WalkHard''
->''"They say that you can't choose your parents, but boy, if you could, I'd want yours."''
-->-- '''Monica Geller''' to her brother Ross, ''Series/{{Friends}}''
->''"It's not that I don't love you anymore. It's just that I love Billy more. Also, you're dead to me."''
-->-- '''Gepetto''' to '''Pinocchio''', ''WesternAnimation/TheGrimAdventuresOfBillyAndMandy''
->''My mother's love was always inexplicably linked to kickball,\\
and my brother was an expert from the start.\\
But I lacked finesse, so when put to the test,\\
I couldn't kick my way right into her heart.''
-->-- '''Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz''', ''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb''
->''"Charizard! [[BigNo Nooooooo!]]... Oh, and froggy plant-whatever-a-saur."''
-->-- '''Boomstick''', ''WebAnimation/DeathBattle'' - "Franchise/{{Pokemon}} Starter Battle Royale"
->'''The Emperor of Mankind''': [[AC:Magnus, Fulgrim, Perturabo, Mortarion, Lorgar, Konrad, Angron, Alpharius Omegon, and Fucking Horus... My sons, created in the laboratories of Luna made out of my very own genes. [[AntagonisticOffspring To think that they would ever fucking betray me]].]]\\
'''"Kitten"''': Well, My Lord, at least Leman Russ, Ferrus Manus, Vulkan, Rogal Dorn, Roboute Guilliman, Sanguinius, Lion El'Johnson, Jaghatai Khan, and Corvus Corax remained loyal to you!\\
'''The Emperor of Mankind''': [[AC:That's still not fucking good enough. I mean, I was a great fucking father to all of them even if they all had their obvious flaws. Magnus being a nerdy fucking bookworm and a Psyker not ever being able to stand up to the brothers who bullied him over it. Fulgrim being a sissy fucking brown noser who would rather indulge himself in his secret quest to attain more fabulous hair than me. To this day, he has not succeeded. Perturabo was always so volatile and childish, constantly bitching and moaning when he didn't get as he wanted. Mortarion constantly smelt like shit from day one. Lorgar was a brainwashed choir boy with a massive victim complex. Konrad couldn't stand a little fucking sunlight, and kept feeling persecuted by his fantasies about a dark and depressing future. Angron was constantly mad. Like, extremely earth-shatteringly unreasonably fuck-ass mad. Probably because he had those fucking nails in his brain. Alpharius Omegon had huge anonymity issues. And Fucking Horus [[TheParagonAlwaysRebels started off nice and friendly, but then he decided to stop trusting me when I left for Terra and became an edgy rebel instead, leading all traitor legions to Terra. And then put me on this fucking throne]].]]\\
'''"Kitten"''': Right right, my Lord! It is no wonder the most flawed sons of yours betrayed you. The pure, noble and flawless ones were to remain naturally!\\
'''The Emperor of Mankind''': [[AC:I'd agree with you but nope. Even the loyal ones were flawed as fuck. Leman Russ was bigoted, self-righteous, unnecessarily rash, and had a fetish for wolves. Ferrus Manus was a brutish asscrack with a Survival-of-the-Fittest mindset, [[SocialDarwinist thinking all quote-unquote "weakness" within the human species needed to be destroyed]]. [[TheyKilledKennyAgain Vulkan died all the fucking time]] and was always too damn nice. Rogal Dorn was just [[BrutalHonesty way too uptight and brutally honest]], never being capable of even telling a white lie to make someone feel better about themselves. Roboute Guilliman always acted infallible in his steadfast clinging to [[CreativeSterility everything being held traditional, plain, and uncon-fucking-ventional]]. Yet wasn't as infallible as he wanted to believe. Lion El'Johnson was just a mess: [[JekyllAndHyde being both a self-absorbed, spiteful and envious prick and an honourable, courageous and dutiful warrior at the same time]]. Fucking confusing. Jaghatai Khan was always so fucking reckless and constantly hyped on speed. And lastly Corvus Corax [[{{Goth}} was always so infernally fucking angsty]].]]\\
'''"Kitten"''': Oh, I see, my Lord... Wait, what about Sanguinius?\\
'''The Emperor of Mankind''': [[AC:Don't you talk shit about [[ParentalFavoritism my fabulous fucking Hawk-Boy]]. [[HeroicSacrifice He died for me, so be grateful]].]]
-->--''WebAnimation/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDevice''
->''"Wrong kid died!"''
-->-- '''Dewey's father''', ''Film/WalkHard''
->''"They say that you can't choose your parents, but boy, if you could, I'd want yours."''
-->-- '''Monica Geller''' to her brother Ross, ''Series/{{Friends}}''
->''"It's not that I don't love you anymore. It's just that I love Billy more. Also, you're dead to me."''
-->-- '''Gepetto''' to '''Pinocchio''', ''WesternAnimation/TheGrimAdventuresOfBillyAndMandy''
->''My mother's love was always inexplicably linked to kickball,\\
and my brother was an expert from the start.\\
But I lacked finesse, so when put to the test,\\
I couldn't kick my way right into her heart.''
-->-- '''Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz''', ''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb''
to:
->''"Charizard! [[BigNo Nooooooo!]]... Oh, and froggy plant-whatever-a-saur.
[[folder:Comic Books]]
->''"She was {{born lucky}}. You were lucky to be born."''
-->--
->'''The Emperor of Mankind''': [[AC:Magnus, Fulgrim, Perturabo, Mortarion, Lorgar, Konrad, Angron, Alpharius Omegon, and Fucking Horus... My sons, created in the laboratories of Luna made out of my very own genes. [[AntagonisticOffspring To think that they would ever fucking betray me]].]]\\
'''"Kitten"''': Well, My Lord, at least Leman Russ, Ferrus Manus, Vulkan, Rogal Dorn, Roboute Guilliman, Sanguinius, Lion El'Johnson, Jaghatai Khan, and Corvus Corax remained loyal to you!\\
'''The Emperor of Mankind''': [[AC:That's still not fucking good enough. I mean, I was a great fucking father to all of them even if they all had their obvious flaws. Magnus being a nerdy fucking bookworm and a Psyker not ever being able to stand up to the brothers who bullied him over it. Fulgrim being a sissy fucking brown noser who would rather indulge himself in his secret quest to attain more fabulous hair than me. To this day, he has not succeeded. Perturabo was always so volatile and childish, constantly bitching and moaning when he didn't get as he wanted. Mortarion constantly smelt like shit from day one. Lorgar was a brainwashed choir boy with a massive victim complex. Konrad couldn't stand a little fucking sunlight, and kept feeling persecuted by his fantasies
->'''Odin:''' My children. My son and
'''"Kitten"''': Right right,
'''The Emperor of Mankind''': [[AC:I'd agree with you but nope. Even the loyal ones were flawed as fuck. Leman Russ was bigoted, self-righteous, unnecessarily rash, and had a fetish for wolves. Ferrus Manus was a brutish asscrack with a Survival-of-the-Fittest mindset, [[SocialDarwinist thinking all quote-unquote "weakness" within the human species needed to be destroyed]]. [[TheyKilledKennyAgain Vulkan died all the fucking time]] and was always too damn nice. Rogal Dorn was just [[BrutalHonesty way too uptight and brutally honest]], never being capable of even telling a white lie to make someone feel better about themselves. Roboute Guilliman always acted infallible in his steadfast clinging to [[CreativeSterility
'''"Kitten"''': Oh, I see, my Lord... Wait, what about Sanguinius?\\
'''The Emperor of Mankind''': [[AC:Don't you talk shit about [[ParentalFavoritism my fabulous fucking Hawk-Boy]]. [[HeroicSacrifice He died for me, so be grateful]].]]
-->--''WebAnimation/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDevice''
->''"Wrong kid died!"''
-->-- '''Dewey's father''', ''Film/WalkHard''
->''"They say that you can't choose your parents, but boy, if you could, I'd want yours."''
-->-- '''Monica Geller''' to her brother Ross, ''Series/{{Friends}}''
->''"It's not that I don't love you anymore. It's just that
-->-- '''Gepetto''' to '''Pinocchio''', ''WesternAnimation/TheGrimAdventuresOfBillyAndMandy''
->''My mother's love was always inexplicably linked to kickball,\\
and my brother was an expert from the start.\\
But I lacked finesse, so when put to the test,\\
I couldn't kick my way right into her heart.''
-->-- '''Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz''', ''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb''
'''Thor:''' Father?\\
'''Loki:''' [-Father... I...-]\\
[...]\\
'''King Loki:''' ''(watching via magic)'' Damn you, old man! Damn your one eye! '''''YOU NEVER SAID THAT TO ME!'''''
-->--''ComicBook/LokiAgentOfAsgard''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Fan Works]]
Changed line(s) 30,34 (click to see context) from:
-->--'''Shinji Ikari''' to '''Asuka Langley Sohryu''', ''Fanfic/AdviceAndTrust'', ''chapter 4''
->"''STOP CRITICIZING ME! That's all my mother ever did was criticize me! It was always "Ursula this" or "Ursula that!" Or "Morgana, why can't you be more like your sister URSULA?!" ([[DartboardOfHate tosses a starfish at a photo of Ursula]])''
-->--'''Morgana''', ''WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaidIIReturnToTheSea''
->"''STOP CRITICIZING ME! That's all my mother ever did was criticize me! It was always "Ursula this" or "Ursula that!" Or "Morgana, why can't you be more like your sister URSULA?!" ([[DartboardOfHate tosses a starfish at a photo of Ursula]])''
-->--'''Morgana''', ''WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaidIIReturnToTheSea''
to:
->"''STOP CRITICIZING ME! That's all my mother ever did was criticize me! It was always "Ursula this" or "Ursula that!" Or "Morgana, why can't you be more like your sister URSULA?!" ([[DartboardOfHate tosses a starfish at a photo of Ursula]])''
-->--'''Morgana''', ''WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaidIIReturnToTheSea''
Changed line(s) 39,67 (click to see context) from:
->'''Waqas:''' I don't know where we went wrong with Tahani.\\
'''Marisha:''' I know, she's ''such'' a disappointment compared to [[ParentalFavoritism her sister]].\\
'''Tahani:''' Hello, Father. Hello, Mother.\\
'''Marisha:''' Oh, hello Tahani, we were just talking about how you're a huge disappointment compared to your sister.\\
'''Waqas:''' Have a seat, we'd ''love'' to get your take.
-->-- ''Series/TheGoodPlace'', "The Burrito"
->'''Hon. Joesph Palmer:''' (at caramels) You little gremlins, you used to inhale these.\\
'''Hank Palmer:''' Yeah, until Dale yanked a tooth out. You made us stop it.\\
'''Joesph:''' Your mother nailed me for it. Fuckin' Dale.
-->--''Film/TheJudge''
->'''[[VideoGame/MetalGear Snake]]''': That guy with the moustache...\\
'''Colonel''': Ha. You mean the "King of Second Bananas"?\\
'''Snake''': Hey, that's [[VideoGame/MarioBros Luigi!]] Show him a little respect!\\
'''Colonel''': Look at that pale skin. He's been living in his brother's shadow for too long.\\
'''Snake''': That's a low blow, Colonel!
-->--''VideoGame/SuperSmashBrosBrawl''
->What kind of father has a favourite daughter? And if you do, you should label them: favourite and un-favourite!
-->--'''Nelson Hibbert''', ''Film/TheWrongGuy''
->'''Faramir''': You wish now that our places had been exchanged; that I had died and Boromir had lived.\\
'''Denethor''': [[BluntYes Yes.]] [[BrutalHonesty I wish that.]]
-->--''Film/TheLordOfTheRingsTheReturnOfTheKing''
->Pretend I'm your child!'' *Lois loosens her grip* ''Not Meg! Not Meg!
-->--'''Joe Swanson''': ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''
'''Marisha:''' I know, she's ''such'' a disappointment compared to [[ParentalFavoritism her sister]].\\
'''Tahani:''' Hello, Father. Hello, Mother.\\
'''Marisha:''' Oh, hello Tahani, we were just talking about how you're a huge disappointment compared to your sister.\\
'''Waqas:''' Have a seat, we'd ''love'' to get your take.
-->-- ''Series/TheGoodPlace'', "The Burrito"
->'''Hon. Joesph Palmer:''' (at caramels) You little gremlins, you used to inhale these.\\
'''Hank Palmer:''' Yeah, until Dale yanked a tooth out. You made us stop it.\\
'''Joesph:''' Your mother nailed me for it. Fuckin' Dale.
-->--''Film/TheJudge''
->'''[[VideoGame/MetalGear Snake]]''': That guy with the moustache...\\
'''Colonel''': Ha. You mean the "King of Second Bananas"?\\
'''Snake''': Hey, that's [[VideoGame/MarioBros Luigi!]] Show him a little respect!\\
'''Colonel''': Look at that pale skin. He's been living in his brother's shadow for too long.\\
'''Snake''': That's a low blow, Colonel!
-->--''VideoGame/SuperSmashBrosBrawl''
->What kind of father has a favourite daughter? And if you do, you should label them: favourite and un-favourite!
-->--'''Nelson Hibbert''', ''Film/TheWrongGuy''
->'''Faramir''': You wish now that our places had been exchanged; that I had died and Boromir had lived.\\
'''Denethor''': [[BluntYes Yes.]] [[BrutalHonesty I wish that.]]
-->--''Film/TheLordOfTheRingsTheReturnOfTheKing''
->Pretend I'm your child!'' *Lois loosens her grip* ''Not Meg! Not Meg!
-->--'''Joe Swanson''': ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''
to:
'''Marisha:'''
->'''[[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy Chris Griffin]]:''' My family was a
'''Tahani:''' Hello, Father. Hello, Mother.\\
'''Marisha:''' Oh, hello Tahani, we were just talking
'''Waqas:''' Have a seat, we'd ''love'' to get your take.
-->--
->'''Hon. Joesph Palmer:''' (at caramels) You little gremlins, you used to inhale these.\\
'''Hank Palmer:''' Yeah, until Dale yanked a tooth out. You made us stop it.\\
'''Joesph:''' Your mother nailed me for it. Fuckin' Dale.
-->--''Film/TheJudge''
->'''[[VideoGame/MetalGear Snake]]''': That guy with the moustache...\\
'''Colonel''': Ha. You mean the "King of Second Bananas"?\\
'''Snake''': Hey, that's [[VideoGame/MarioBros Luigi!]] Show him a little respect!\\
'''Colonel''': Look at that pale skin. He's been living in his brother's shadow for too long.\\
'''Snake''':
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Film -- Animated]]
->"''STOP CRITICIZING ME! That's
-->--''VideoGame/SuperSmashBrosBrawl''
->What kind of father has a favourite daughter? And if
-->--'''Nelson Hibbert''', ''Film/TheWrongGuy''
->'''Faramir''': You wish now that our places had been exchanged; that I had died and Boromir had lived.\\
'''Denethor''': [[BluntYes Yes.]] [[BrutalHonesty I wish that.]]
-->--''Film/TheLordOfTheRingsTheReturnOfTheKing''
->Pretend I'm
-->--'''Joe Swanson''': ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''
-->-- '''Morgana''', ''WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaidIIReturnToTheSea''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Film -- Live-Action]]
Deleted line(s) 72,77 (click to see context) :
->''"She was {{born lucky}}. You were lucky to be born."''
-->--'''Fire Lord Ozai''' about his children '''Azula''' and '''Zuko''', ''ComicBook/AvatarTheLastAirbenderTheSearch''
->''"I can't believe he's blood."''
-->--'''Darkseid''' on '''Kalibak''', ''WesternAnimation/SupermanTheAnimatedSeries''
-->--'''Fire Lord Ozai''' about his children '''Azula''' and '''Zuko''', ''ComicBook/AvatarTheLastAirbenderTheSearch''
->''"I can't believe he's blood."''
-->--'''Darkseid''' on '''Kalibak''', ''WesternAnimation/SupermanTheAnimatedSeries''
Deleted line(s) 81,83 (click to see context) :
-> ''Mom always liked you best.''
-->--'''Tom Smothers''' to Dick Smothers in one of the skits in the comedy album titled (what else?) ''Mom Always Liked You Best''
-->--'''Tom Smothers''' to Dick Smothers in one of the skits in the comedy album titled (what else?) ''Mom Always Liked You Best''
->What kind of father has a favourite daughter? And if you do, you should label them: favourite and un-favourite!
-->--'''Nelson Hibbert''', ''Film/TheWrongGuy''
->'''Faramir''': You wish now that our places had been exchanged; that I had died and Boromir had lived.\\
'''Denethor''': [[BluntYes Yes.]] [[BrutalHonesty I wish that.]]
-->-- ''Film/TheLordOfTheRingsTheReturnOfTheKing''
->''"Wrong kid died!"''
-->-- '''Dewey's father''', ''Film/WalkHard''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Literature]]
->"What is the difference," [Malcolm's sister] would ask, "between Marmalade [the family cat] and Malcolm?" When no satisfactory answer could be provided by the admiring adults assembled to hear the joke, Bridget would smile and say, "Daddy isn't allowed to shout at Marmalade."
-->-- ''Literature/ExpectingSomeoneTaller''
->Lady Kidderminster assented grudgingly. It was not at all her idea of a good match for her daughter. Still, Sandra was certainly the most difficult of the family. Susan had been a beauty and Esther had brains. Diana, clever child, had married the young Duke of Harwich--the ''parti'' of the season. Sandra had certainly less charm--there was her shyness--and if this young man had a future as everyone seemed to think...
-->-- ''Literature/SparklingCyanide''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
-> '''Talia al Ghul:''' You ally yourself with our father's murderer? He'd be ashamed of you.\\
'''Nyssa al Ghul:''' Father was always ashamed of me.
-->-- ''Series/{{Arrow}}''
-->--'''Nelson Hibbert''', ''Film/TheWrongGuy''
->'''Faramir''': You wish now that our places had been exchanged; that I had died and Boromir had lived.\\
'''Denethor''': [[BluntYes Yes.]] [[BrutalHonesty I wish that.]]
-->-- ''Film/TheLordOfTheRingsTheReturnOfTheKing''
->''"Wrong kid died!"''
-->-- '''Dewey's father''', ''Film/WalkHard''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Literature]]
->"What is the difference," [Malcolm's sister] would ask, "between Marmalade [the family cat] and Malcolm?" When no satisfactory answer could be provided by the admiring adults assembled to hear the joke, Bridget would smile and say, "Daddy isn't allowed to shout at Marmalade."
-->-- ''Literature/ExpectingSomeoneTaller''
->Lady Kidderminster assented grudgingly. It was not at all her idea of a good match for her daughter. Still, Sandra was certainly the most difficult of the family. Susan had been a beauty and Esther had brains. Diana, clever child, had married the young Duke of Harwich--the ''parti'' of the season. Sandra had certainly less charm--there was her shyness--and if this young man had a future as everyone seemed to think...
-->-- ''Literature/SparklingCyanide''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
-> '''Talia al Ghul:''' You ally yourself with our father's murderer? He'd be ashamed of you.\\
'''Nyssa al Ghul:''' Father was always ashamed of me.
-->-- ''Series/{{Arrow}}''
->''"They say that you can't choose your parents, but boy, if you could, I'd want yours."''
-->-- '''Monica Geller''' to her brother Ross, ''Series/{{Friends}}''
->'''Waqas:''' I don't know where we went wrong with Tahani.\\
'''Marisha:''' I know, she's ''such'' a disappointment compared to [[ParentalFavoritism her sister]].\\
'''Tahani:''' Hello, Father. Hello, Mother.\\
'''Marisha:''' Oh, hello Tahani, we were just talking about how you're a huge disappointment compared to your sister.\\
'''Waqas:''' Have a seat, we'd ''love'' to get your take.
-->-- ''Series/TheGoodPlace'', "The Burrito"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Video Games]]
->'''[[VideoGame/MetalGear Snake]]''': That guy with the moustache...\\
'''Colonel''': Ha. You mean the "King of Second Bananas"?\\
'''Snake''': Hey, that's [[VideoGame/MarioBros Luigi!]] Show him a little respect!\\
'''Colonel''': Look at that pale skin. He's been living in his brother's shadow for too long.\\
'''Snake''': That's a low blow, Colonel!
-->-- ''VideoGame/SuperSmashBrosBrawl''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Web Animation]]
->''"Charizard! [[BigNo Nooooooo!]]... Oh, and froggy plant-whatever-a-saur."''
-->-- '''Boomstick''', ''WebAnimation/DeathBattle'' - "Franchise/{{Pokemon}} Starter Battle Royale"
->'''The Emperor of Mankind''': [[AC:Magnus, Fulgrim, Perturabo, Mortarion, Lorgar, Konrad, Angron, Alpharius Omegon, and Fucking Horus... My sons, created in the laboratories of Luna made out of my very own genes. [[AntagonisticOffspring To think that they would ever fucking betray me]].]]\\
'''"Kitten"''': Well, My Lord, at least Leman Russ, Ferrus Manus, Vulkan, Rogal Dorn, Roboute Guilliman, Sanguinius, Lion El'Johnson, Jaghatai Khan, and Corvus Corax remained loyal to you!\\
'''The Emperor of Mankind''': [[AC:That's still not fucking good enough. I mean, I was a great fucking father to all of them even if they all had their obvious flaws. Magnus being a nerdy fucking bookworm and a Psyker not ever being able to stand up to the brothers who bullied him over it. Fulgrim being a sissy fucking brown noser who would rather indulge himself in his secret quest to attain more fabulous hair than me. To this day, he has not succeeded. Perturabo was always so volatile and childish, constantly bitching and moaning when he didn't get as he wanted. Mortarion constantly smelt like shit from day one. Lorgar was a brainwashed choir boy with a massive victim complex. Konrad couldn't stand a little fucking sunlight, and kept feeling persecuted by his fantasies about a dark and depressing future. Angron was constantly mad. Like, extremely earth-shatteringly unreasonably fuck-ass mad. Probably because he had those fucking nails in his brain. Alpharius Omegon had huge anonymity issues. And Fucking Horus [[TheParagonAlwaysRebels started off nice and friendly, but then he decided to stop trusting me when I left for Terra and became an edgy rebel instead, leading all traitor legions to Terra. And then put me on this fucking throne]].]]\\
'''"Kitten"''': Right right, my Lord! It is no wonder the most flawed sons of yours betrayed you. The pure, noble and flawless ones were to remain naturally!\\
'''The Emperor of Mankind''': [[AC:I'd agree with you but nope. Even the loyal ones were flawed as fuck. Leman Russ was bigoted, self-righteous, unnecessarily rash, and had a fetish for wolves. Ferrus Manus was a brutish asscrack with a Survival-of-the-Fittest mindset, [[SocialDarwinist thinking all quote-unquote "weakness" within the human species needed to be destroyed]]. [[TheyKilledKennyAgain Vulkan died all the fucking time]] and was always too damn nice. Rogal Dorn was just [[BrutalHonesty way too uptight and brutally honest]], never being capable of even telling a white lie to make someone feel better about themselves. Roboute Guilliman always acted infallible in his steadfast clinging to [[CreativeSterility everything being held traditional, plain, and uncon-fucking-ventional]]. Yet wasn't as infallible as he wanted to believe. Lion El'Johnson was just a mess: [[JekyllAndHyde being both a self-absorbed, spiteful and envious prick and an honourable, courageous and dutiful warrior at the same time]]. Fucking confusing. Jaghatai Khan was always so fucking reckless and constantly hyped on speed. And lastly Corvus Corax [[{{Goth}} was always so infernally fucking angsty]].]]\\
'''"Kitten"''': Oh, I see, my Lord... Wait, what about Sanguinius?\\
'''The Emperor of Mankind''': [[AC:Don't you talk shit about [[ParentalFavoritism my fabulous fucking Hawk-Boy]]. [[HeroicSacrifice He died for me, so be grateful]].]]
-->-- ''WebAnimation/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDevice''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Webcomics]]
-->-- '''Monica Geller''' to her brother Ross, ''Series/{{Friends}}''
->'''Waqas:''' I don't know where we went wrong with Tahani.\\
'''Marisha:''' I know, she's ''such'' a disappointment compared to [[ParentalFavoritism her sister]].\\
'''Tahani:''' Hello, Father. Hello, Mother.\\
'''Marisha:''' Oh, hello Tahani, we were just talking about how you're a huge disappointment compared to your sister.\\
'''Waqas:''' Have a seat, we'd ''love'' to get your take.
-->-- ''Series/TheGoodPlace'', "The Burrito"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Video Games]]
->'''[[VideoGame/MetalGear Snake]]''': That guy with the moustache...\\
'''Colonel''': Ha. You mean the "King of Second Bananas"?\\
'''Snake''': Hey, that's [[VideoGame/MarioBros Luigi!]] Show him a little respect!\\
'''Colonel''': Look at that pale skin. He's been living in his brother's shadow for too long.\\
'''Snake''': That's a low blow, Colonel!
-->-- ''VideoGame/SuperSmashBrosBrawl''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Web Animation]]
->''"Charizard! [[BigNo Nooooooo!]]... Oh, and froggy plant-whatever-a-saur."''
-->-- '''Boomstick''', ''WebAnimation/DeathBattle'' - "Franchise/{{Pokemon}} Starter Battle Royale"
->'''The Emperor of Mankind''': [[AC:Magnus, Fulgrim, Perturabo, Mortarion, Lorgar, Konrad, Angron, Alpharius Omegon, and Fucking Horus... My sons, created in the laboratories of Luna made out of my very own genes. [[AntagonisticOffspring To think that they would ever fucking betray me]].]]\\
'''"Kitten"''': Well, My Lord, at least Leman Russ, Ferrus Manus, Vulkan, Rogal Dorn, Roboute Guilliman, Sanguinius, Lion El'Johnson, Jaghatai Khan, and Corvus Corax remained loyal to you!\\
'''The Emperor of Mankind''': [[AC:That's still not fucking good enough. I mean, I was a great fucking father to all of them even if they all had their obvious flaws. Magnus being a nerdy fucking bookworm and a Psyker not ever being able to stand up to the brothers who bullied him over it. Fulgrim being a sissy fucking brown noser who would rather indulge himself in his secret quest to attain more fabulous hair than me. To this day, he has not succeeded. Perturabo was always so volatile and childish, constantly bitching and moaning when he didn't get as he wanted. Mortarion constantly smelt like shit from day one. Lorgar was a brainwashed choir boy with a massive victim complex. Konrad couldn't stand a little fucking sunlight, and kept feeling persecuted by his fantasies about a dark and depressing future. Angron was constantly mad. Like, extremely earth-shatteringly unreasonably fuck-ass mad. Probably because he had those fucking nails in his brain. Alpharius Omegon had huge anonymity issues. And Fucking Horus [[TheParagonAlwaysRebels started off nice and friendly, but then he decided to stop trusting me when I left for Terra and became an edgy rebel instead, leading all traitor legions to Terra. And then put me on this fucking throne]].]]\\
'''"Kitten"''': Right right, my Lord! It is no wonder the most flawed sons of yours betrayed you. The pure, noble and flawless ones were to remain naturally!\\
'''The Emperor of Mankind''': [[AC:I'd agree with you but nope. Even the loyal ones were flawed as fuck. Leman Russ was bigoted, self-righteous, unnecessarily rash, and had a fetish for wolves. Ferrus Manus was a brutish asscrack with a Survival-of-the-Fittest mindset, [[SocialDarwinist thinking all quote-unquote "weakness" within the human species needed to be destroyed]]. [[TheyKilledKennyAgain Vulkan died all the fucking time]] and was always too damn nice. Rogal Dorn was just [[BrutalHonesty way too uptight and brutally honest]], never being capable of even telling a white lie to make someone feel better about themselves. Roboute Guilliman always acted infallible in his steadfast clinging to [[CreativeSterility everything being held traditional, plain, and uncon-fucking-ventional]]. Yet wasn't as infallible as he wanted to believe. Lion El'Johnson was just a mess: [[JekyllAndHyde being both a self-absorbed, spiteful and envious prick and an honourable, courageous and dutiful warrior at the same time]]. Fucking confusing. Jaghatai Khan was always so fucking reckless and constantly hyped on speed. And lastly Corvus Corax [[{{Goth}} was always so infernally fucking angsty]].]]\\
'''"Kitten"''': Oh, I see, my Lord... Wait, what about Sanguinius?\\
'''The Emperor of Mankind''': [[AC:Don't you talk shit about [[ParentalFavoritism my fabulous fucking Hawk-Boy]]. [[HeroicSacrifice He died for me, so be grateful]].]]
-->-- ''WebAnimation/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDevice''
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Webcomics]]
Changed line(s) 96,111 (click to see context) from:
-->--''WebComic/DumbingOfAge''
-> '''Talia al Ghul:''' You ally yourself with our father's murderer? He'd be ashamed of you.\\
'''Nyssa al Ghul:''' Father was always ashamed of me.
-->-- ''Series/{{Arrow}}''
->'''Odin:''' My children. My son and my daughter and my child who is both. So strong and so brave. So quick and so cunning. I know you. I know everything you are... and... and [[RealMenHateAffection I love you]]. [-Very, very much.-]\\
'''Thor:''' Father?\\
'''Loki:''' [-Father... I...-]\\
[...]\\
'''King Loki:''' ''(watching via magic)'' Damn you, old man! Damn your one eye! '''''YOU NEVER SAID THAT TO ME!'''''
-->--''ComicBook/LokiAgentOfAsgard''
->"What is the difference," [Malcolm's sister] would ask, "between Marmalade [the family cat] and Malcolm?" When no satisfactory answer could be provided by the admiring adults assembled to hear the joke, Bridget would smile and say, "Daddy isn't allowed to shout at Marmalade."
-->--''Literature/ExpectingSomeoneTaller''
-> '''Talia al Ghul:''' You ally yourself with our father's murderer? He'd be ashamed of you.\\
'''Nyssa al Ghul:''' Father was always ashamed of me.
-->-- ''Series/{{Arrow}}''
->'''Odin:''' My children. My son and my daughter and my child who is both. So strong and so brave. So quick and so cunning. I know you. I know everything you are... and... and [[RealMenHateAffection I love you]]. [-Very, very much.-]\\
'''Thor:''' Father?\\
'''Loki:''' [-Father... I...-]\\
[...]\\
'''King Loki:''' ''(watching via magic)'' Damn you, old man! Damn your one eye! '''''YOU NEVER SAID THAT TO ME!'''''
-->--''ComicBook/LokiAgentOfAsgard''
->"What is the difference," [Malcolm's sister] would ask, "between Marmalade [the family cat] and Malcolm?" When no satisfactory answer could be provided by the admiring adults assembled to hear the joke, Bridget would smile and say, "Daddy isn't allowed to shout at Marmalade."
-->--''Literature/ExpectingSomeoneTaller''
to:
-> '''Talia al Ghul:''' You ally yourself with our father's murderer? He'd be ashamed of you.\\
'''Nyssa al Ghul:''' Father was always ashamed of me.
->'''Odin:''' My children. My son and my daughter and my child who is both. So strong and so brave. So quick and so cunning. I know you. I know everything you are... and... and [[RealMenHateAffection I love you]]. [-Very, very much.-]\\
'''Thor:''' Father?\\
'''Loki:''' [-Father... I...-]\\
[...]\\
'''King Loki:''' ''(watching via magic)'' Damn you, old man! Damn your one eye! '''''YOU NEVER SAID THAT TO ME!'''''
-->--''ComicBook/LokiAgentOfAsgard''
->"What is the difference," [Malcolm's sister] would ask, "between Marmalade [the family cat] and Malcolm?" When no satisfactory answer could be provided by the admiring adults assembled to hear the joke, Bridget would smile and say, "Daddy isn't allowed to shout at Marmalade."
-->--''Literature/ExpectingSomeoneTaller''
Changed line(s) 115,121 (click to see context) from:
-->--''Webcomic/CursedPrincessClub'' [[https://www.webtoons.com/en/comedy/cursed-princess-club/ep-33-prince-frederick-part-1/viewer?title_no=1537&episode_no=33 Episode 33]]
->'''[[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Bart Simpson]]:''' ...My dad was an abusive alcoholic, or whatever. He'd go to the bar, come home drunk, find out I'd fucked up at school, and he'd choke me out. ''(beat)'' He never hit mom or my sisters. He tried to be a good dad. We had some great times, man. He only got physical with me... I guess I was always thinking that one day he'd hurt mom or L--- or M-----. If I pissed him off, he'd only hurt me and that was okay.
->'''[[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy Chris Griffin]]:''' My family was a lot like B---'s... but different... My dad... ''(beat)'' My parents beat the shit out of my sister. Dad would make a joke about how worthless she was, and push her down the stairs, and just... laugh. And I did it, too. I didn't even know it was bad. It's just what my family ''did''. When I did realize it was wrong, I got scared. If I didn't hurt M-- too, maybe they'd start hurting me. M-- left home at 18 and I've never heard from her. I wish I could say I'm sorry.
-->-- ''[[https://panic-volkushka.tumblr.com/post/142590132565/clients-names-and-personal-information-have-been Couples' Therapy]]''
!!!RealLife
->'''[[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Bart Simpson]]:''' ...My dad was an abusive alcoholic, or whatever. He'd go to the bar, come home drunk, find out I'd fucked up at school, and he'd choke me out. ''(beat)'' He never hit mom or my sisters. He tried to be a good dad. We had some great times, man. He only got physical with me... I guess I was always thinking that one day he'd hurt mom or L--- or M-----. If I pissed him off, he'd only hurt me and that was okay.
->'''[[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy Chris Griffin]]:''' My family was a lot like B---'s... but different... My dad... ''(beat)'' My parents beat the shit out of my sister. Dad would make a joke about how worthless she was, and push her down the stairs, and just... laugh. And I did it, too. I didn't even know it was bad. It's just what my family ''did''. When I did realize it was wrong, I got scared. If I didn't hurt M-- too, maybe they'd start hurting me. M-- left home at 18 and I've never heard from her. I wish I could say I'm sorry.
-->-- ''[[https://panic-volkushka.tumblr.com/post/142590132565/clients-names-and-personal-information-have-been Couples' Therapy]]''
!!!RealLife
to:
->'''[[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Bart Simpson]]:''' ...My dad was an abusive alcoholic, or whatever. He'd go to the bar, come home drunk, find out I'd fucked up at school, and he'd choke me out. ''(beat)'' He never hit mom or my sisters. He tried to be a good dad. We had some great times, man. He only got physical with me... I guess I was always thinking
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Western Animation]]
->''"It's not that
->'''[[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy Chris Griffin]]:''' My family was a lot like B---'s... but different... My dad... ''(beat)'' My parents beat the shit out of my sister. Dad would make a joke about how worthless she was, and push her down the stairs, and just... laugh. And I did it, too. I didn't even know it was bad.
-->-- '''Gepetto''' to '''Pinocchio''', ''WesternAnimation/TheGrimAdventuresOfBillyAndMandy''
->''My mother's love was
and
But I
I
-->-- '''Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz''', ''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb''
->Pretend I'm
-->--'''Joe Swanson''': ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''
->''"I can't believe he's blood."''
-->--
!!!RealLife
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Real Life]]
Changed line(s) 137,138 (click to see context) from:
-->--'''''Website/UrbanDictionary'''''
to:
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[[/folder]]
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->'''The Emperor of Mankind''': [[AC:Magnus, Fulgrim, Perturabo, Mortarion, Lorgar, Konrad, Angron, Alpharius Omegon, and Fucking Horus... My sons, created in the laboratories of Luna made out of my very own genes. [[AntagonisticOffspring To think that they would ever fucking betray me]].]]\\
'''"Kitten"''': Well, My Lord, at least Leman Russ, Ferrus Manus, Vulkan, Rogal Dorn, Roboute Guilliman, Sanguinius, Lion El'Johnson, Jaghatai Khan, and Corvus Corax remained loyal to you!\\
'''The Emperor of Mankind''': [[AC:That's still not fucking good enough. I mean, I was a great fucking father to all of them even if they all had their obvious flaws. Magnus being a nerdy fucking bookworm and a Psyker not ever being able to stand up to the brothers who bullied him over it. Fulgrim being a sissy fucking brown noser who would rather indulge himself in his secret quest to attain more fabulous hair than me. To this day, he has not succeeded. Perturabo was always so volatile and childish, constantly bitching and moaning when he didn't get as he wanted. Mortarion constantly smelt like shit from day one. Lorgar was a brainwashed choir boy with a massive victim complex. Konrad couldn't stand a little fucking sunlight, and kept feeling persecuted by his fantasies about a dark and depressing future. Angron was constantly mad. Like, extremely earth-shatteringly unreasonably fuck-ass mad. Probably because he had those fucking nails in his brain. Alpharius Omegon had huge anonymity issues. And Fucking Horus [[TheParagonAlwaysRebels started off nice and friendly, but then he decided to stop trusting me when I left for Terra and became an edgy rebel instead, leading all traitor legions to Terra. And then put me on this fucking throne]].]]\\
'''"Kitten"''': Right right, my Lord! It is no wonder the most flawed sons of yours betrayed you. The pure, noble and flawless ones were to remain naturally!\\
'''The Emperor of Mankind''': [[AC:I'd agree with you but nope. Even the loyal ones were flawed as fuck. Leman Russ was bigoted, self-righteous, unnecessarily rash, and had a fetish for wolves. Ferrus Manus was a brutish asscrack with a Survival-of-the-Fittest mindset, [[SocialDarwinist thinking all quote-unquote "weakness" within the human species needed to be destroyed]]. [[TheyKilledKennyAgain Vulkan died all the fucking time]] and was always too damn nice. Rogal Dorn was just [[BrutalHonesty way too uptight and brutally honest]], never being capable of even telling a white lie to make someone feel better about themselves. Roboute Guilliman always acted infallible in his steadfast clinging to [[CreativeSterility everything being held traditional, plain, and uncon-fucking-ventional]]. Yet wasn't as infallible as he wanted to believe. Lion El'Johnson was just a mess: [[JekyllAndHyde being both a self-absorbed, spiteful and envious prick and an honourable, courageous and dutiful warrior at the same time]]. Fucking confusing. Jaghatai Khan was always so fucking reckless and constantly hyped on speed. And lastly Corvus Corax [[{{Goth}} was always so infernally fucking angsty]].]]\\
'''"Kitten"''': Oh, I see, my Lord... Wait, what about Sanguinius?\\
'''The Emperor of Mankind''': [[AC:Don't you talk shit about [[ParentalFavoritism my fabulous fucking Hawk-Boy]]. [[HeroicSacrifice He died for me, so be grateful]].]]
-->--''WebAnimation/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDevice''
'''"Kitten"''': Well, My Lord, at least Leman Russ, Ferrus Manus, Vulkan, Rogal Dorn, Roboute Guilliman, Sanguinius, Lion El'Johnson, Jaghatai Khan, and Corvus Corax remained loyal to you!\\
'''The Emperor of Mankind''': [[AC:That's still not fucking good enough. I mean, I was a great fucking father to all of them even if they all had their obvious flaws. Magnus being a nerdy fucking bookworm and a Psyker not ever being able to stand up to the brothers who bullied him over it. Fulgrim being a sissy fucking brown noser who would rather indulge himself in his secret quest to attain more fabulous hair than me. To this day, he has not succeeded. Perturabo was always so volatile and childish, constantly bitching and moaning when he didn't get as he wanted. Mortarion constantly smelt like shit from day one. Lorgar was a brainwashed choir boy with a massive victim complex. Konrad couldn't stand a little fucking sunlight, and kept feeling persecuted by his fantasies about a dark and depressing future. Angron was constantly mad. Like, extremely earth-shatteringly unreasonably fuck-ass mad. Probably because he had those fucking nails in his brain. Alpharius Omegon had huge anonymity issues. And Fucking Horus [[TheParagonAlwaysRebels started off nice and friendly, but then he decided to stop trusting me when I left for Terra and became an edgy rebel instead, leading all traitor legions to Terra. And then put me on this fucking throne]].]]\\
'''"Kitten"''': Right right, my Lord! It is no wonder the most flawed sons of yours betrayed you. The pure, noble and flawless ones were to remain naturally!\\
'''The Emperor of Mankind''': [[AC:I'd agree with you but nope. Even the loyal ones were flawed as fuck. Leman Russ was bigoted, self-righteous, unnecessarily rash, and had a fetish for wolves. Ferrus Manus was a brutish asscrack with a Survival-of-the-Fittest mindset, [[SocialDarwinist thinking all quote-unquote "weakness" within the human species needed to be destroyed]]. [[TheyKilledKennyAgain Vulkan died all the fucking time]] and was always too damn nice. Rogal Dorn was just [[BrutalHonesty way too uptight and brutally honest]], never being capable of even telling a white lie to make someone feel better about themselves. Roboute Guilliman always acted infallible in his steadfast clinging to [[CreativeSterility everything being held traditional, plain, and uncon-fucking-ventional]]. Yet wasn't as infallible as he wanted to believe. Lion El'Johnson was just a mess: [[JekyllAndHyde being both a self-absorbed, spiteful and envious prick and an honourable, courageous and dutiful warrior at the same time]]. Fucking confusing. Jaghatai Khan was always so fucking reckless and constantly hyped on speed. And lastly Corvus Corax [[{{Goth}} was always so infernally fucking angsty]].]]\\
'''"Kitten"''': Oh, I see, my Lord... Wait, what about Sanguinius?\\
'''The Emperor of Mankind''': [[AC:Don't you talk shit about [[ParentalFavoritism my fabulous fucking Hawk-Boy]]. [[HeroicSacrifice He died for me, so be grateful]].]]
-->--''WebAnimation/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDevice''
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->'''[[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Bart Simpson]]:''' ...My dad was an abusive alcoholic, or whatever. He'd go to the bar, come home drunk, find out I'd fucked up at school, and he'd choke me out. ''(beat)'' He never hit mom or my sisters. He tried to be a good dad. We had some great times, man. He only got physical with me... I guess I was always thinking that one day he'd hurt mom or L--- or M-----. If I pissed him off, he'd only hurt me and that was okay.
->'''[[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy Chris Griffin]]:''' My family was a lot like B---'s... but different... My dad... ''(beat)'' My parents beat the shit out of my sister. Dad would make a joke about how worthless she was, and push her down the stairs, and just... laugh. And I did it, too. I didn't even know it was bad. It's just what my family ''did''. When I did realize it was wrong, I got scared. If I didn't hurt M-- too, maybe they'd start hurting me. M-- left home at 18 and I've never heard from her. I wish I could say I'm sorry.
-->-- ''[[https://panic-volkushka.tumblr.com/post/142590132565/clients-names-and-personal-information-have-been Couples' Therapy]]''
->'''[[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy Chris Griffin]]:''' My family was a lot like B---'s... but different... My dad... ''(beat)'' My parents beat the shit out of my sister. Dad would make a joke about how worthless she was, and push her down the stairs, and just... laugh. And I did it, too. I didn't even know it was bad. It's just what my family ''did''. When I did realize it was wrong, I got scared. If I didn't hurt M-- too, maybe they'd start hurting me. M-- left home at 18 and I've never heard from her. I wish I could say I'm sorry.
-->-- ''[[https://panic-volkushka.tumblr.com/post/142590132565/clients-names-and-personal-information-have-been Couples' Therapy]]''
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Changed line(s) 24,25 (click to see context) from:
-->--'''Morgana''', ''WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaidIIReturnToTheSea
to:
-->--'''Morgana''', ''WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaidIIReturnToTheSea
''WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaidIIReturnToTheSea''
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->"''STOP CRITICIZING ME! That's all my mother ever did was criticize me! It was always "Ursula this" or "Ursula that!" Or "Morgana, why can't you be more like your sister URSULA?!" ([[DartboardOfHate tosses a starfish at a photo of Ursula]])''
-->--'''Morgana''', ''WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaidIIReturnToTheSea
-->--'''Morgana''', ''WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaidIIReturnToTheSea
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Changed line(s) 8 (click to see context) from:
->''"They say that you can't change your parents, but boy, if you could, I'd want yours."''
to:
->''"They say that you can't change choose your parents, but boy, if you could, I'd want yours."''
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Changed line(s) 39 (click to see context) from:
->'''[[Franchise/MetalGear Snake]]''': That guy with the moustache...\\
to:
Changed line(s) 41 (click to see context) from:
'''Snake''': Hey, that's [[Videogame/MarioBros Luigi!]] Show him a little respect!\\
to:
'''Snake''': Hey, that's [[Videogame/MarioBros [[VideoGame/MarioBros Luigi!]] Show him a little respect!\\
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disambig
Changed line(s) 58,59 (click to see context) from:
-->-- ''Film/HomeAlone''
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-->-- ''Film/HomeAlone''
''Film/HomeAlone1''
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Changed line(s) 9,10 (click to see context) from:
-->-- '''Monica''' to her brother Ross, ''Series/{{Friends}}''
to:
-->-- '''Monica''' '''Monica Geller''' to her brother Ross, ''Series/{{Friends}}''
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Changed line(s) 90 (click to see context) from:
->'''Odin:''' My children. My son and my daughter and my child who is both. So strong and so brave. So quick and so cunning. I know you. I know everything you are... and... and[[RealMenHateAffection I love you]]. [-Very, very much.-]\\
to:
->'''Odin:''' My children. My son and my daughter and my child who is both. So strong and so brave. So quick and so cunning. I know you. I know everything you are... and... and[[RealMenHateAffection and [[RealMenHateAffection I love you]]. [-Very, very much.-]\\
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->'''King Leland:''' Frederick, I take back all those words of pride and acknowledgement I had for you recently. Every year, I request from my sons a proposal for the future growth of our kingdom's prosperity, and you hand me '''''THIS ATROCITY?!''''' More trees and libraries? '''''That's''''' your plan?! Lance has been handing in manlier proposals since before he learned to tie his own shoes!!\\
'''Prince Frederick:''' --To be fair, I think he only learned to do that like last year...\\
'''King Leland:''' You know what?! There's still a lot you could stand to learn from your brothers. So today, you'll be shadowing both of them during their daily duties. And I can only pray that a sliver of their excellence will seep into that malnourished little body of yours.
-->--''Webcomic/CursedPrincessClub'' [[https://www.webtoons.com/en/comedy/cursed-princess-club/ep-33-prince-frederick-part-1/viewer?title_no=1537&episode_no=33 Episode 33]]
'''Prince Frederick:''' --To be fair, I think he only learned to do that like last year...\\
'''King Leland:''' You know what?! There's still a lot you could stand to learn from your brothers. So today, you'll be shadowing both of them during their daily duties. And I can only pray that a sliver of their excellence will seep into that malnourished little body of yours.
-->--''Webcomic/CursedPrincessClub'' [[https://www.webtoons.com/en/comedy/cursed-princess-club/ep-33-prince-frederick-part-1/viewer?title_no=1537&episode_no=33 Episode 33]]
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Changed line(s) 125 (click to see context) from:
He has also been (of course) in financial trouble, and since 2009, a website has been soliciting donations on Baldwin's behalf, stating that ''“because of this convictions'' [[[YouMakeMeSic sic]]] ''it has caused him the loss of many jobs,”'' and that ''“he deserves hundreds of millions for his Job-like faithfulness in the face of [[GiftedlyBad relentless loss and persecution]]”''... It is interesting to see what happens when you take even the trappings of a working mind away and get Stephen Baldwin.
to:
He has also been (of course) in financial trouble, and since 2009, a website has been soliciting donations on Baldwin's behalf, stating that ''“because of this convictions'' [[[YouMakeMeSic sic]]] convictions''[sic] ''it has caused him the loss of many jobs,”'' and that ''“he deserves hundreds of millions for his Job-like faithfulness in the face of [[GiftedlyBad relentless loss and persecution]]”''... It is interesting to see what happens when you take even the trappings of a working mind away and get Stephen Baldwin.
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Changed line(s) 128 (click to see context) from:
->Sadly, all the praying Kim was doing in the bathtub was cancelled out by all the praying [[Series/KeepingUpWithTheKardashians Pimp Mama Kris]] was doing over her homemade shrine to [[DealWithTheDevil Dark Lord Satan]] in her shoe closet. [='=]Dear Prince of Darkness, please make me…[[StageMom errr, I mean]]…my daughter Kim famous. She’s dumb as a box of rocks, but I bet with the right set of tits she could be a star. In exchange for Kim’s fame, I’ll sell you the souls of my other less-useful children, like Rob, Khloe, Kourtney, Rob. [[SoGoodWeMentionedItTwice Did I mention Rob?]][='=]
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->Sadly, all the praying Kim was doing in the bathtub was cancelled out by all the praying [[Series/KeepingUpWithTheKardashians Pimp Mama Kris]] was doing over her homemade shrine to [[DealWithTheDevil Dark Lord Satan]] in her shoe closet. [='=]Dear Prince of Darkness, please make me…[[StageMom errr, I mean]]…my daughter Kim famous. She’s dumb as a box of rocks, but I bet with the right set of tits she could be a star. In exchange for Kim’s fame, I’ll sell you the souls of my other less-useful children, like Rob, Khloe, Kourtney, Rob. [[SoGoodWeMentionedItTwice Did I mention Rob?]][='=]Rob?[='=]
