History Quotes / TakeThatScrappy

'''Quagmire:''' Okay. I'll tell you. You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend's wife, the man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death, and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard, [[TheSlacker and you're such a sponge]]. You pay for nothing and you always say "oh I'll get you later", but later never comes! And what really bothers me is you pretend that you're this deep guy who loves women for their souls [[{{Hypocrite}} when all you do is date bimbos.]] Yeah, I date women for their bodies, [[AtLeastIAdmitIt but at least I'm honest about it]]! I don't buy them a copy of ''[[Literature/TheCatcherInTheRye Catcher in the Rye]]'' and then lecture them with some [[MisaimedFandom 7th grade interpretation about how Holden Caulfield is some profound intellectual]]. He wasn't! He was a {{spoiled brat}}, and that's why you like him so much. He's '''you'''! ''God'', you're pretentious. [[SmallNameBigEgo And you delude yourself by thinking you're some great writer even though you're terrible.]] You know, I should have known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She would've known there was no "a" in the word definite. And I think what I hate most about you is your [[StrawmanPolitical textbook liberal agenda]] on how we should "legalize pot man", how big business is crushing the underclass, how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America -- well, what have you done to help? [[HiddenDepths I work down at the soup kitchen]], Brian. Never seen '''you''' down there! You want to help, GRAB A LADLE! And by the way, driving a Prius doesn't make you Jesus Christ. [[HollywoodAtheist Oh wait, you don't believe in Jesus Christ, or any religion for that matter, because "religion is for idiots!"]] Well, who the hell are you to talk down to anyone? You failed college twice, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father. [[ChuckCunninghamSyndrome How is that son of yours you never see?]] But you know what, I could forgive all of that, ALL OF IT... if you weren't ''such'' a bore! That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big sad alcoholic '''''BORE.''''' [sigh] See ya, Brian. Thanks for the [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] steak.

-->-- '''Eggman''' to Chris, ''{{Sonic X}}''

->'''Tail:''' SONIC! Help me!!! Wake up Sonic! Come on; HEEELLLPPP!!!! Help me, wake up Sonic!\\

''Tom Servo:''' "Yes! The Aztec speaks for all of us!"

-->---''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''

->You shut up, dear. Anything from you? Good. Let the grown women speak.

-->--''LawAndOrderSpecialVictimsUnit''

-->--'''Varrick''' completes the villain roll call in his "mover" pitch, ''TheLegendOfKorra''

->The evil Unalaq, the diabolical but incredibly boring and unpopular sorcerer from the North...
-->--'''Varrick''' completes the villain roll call in his "mover" pitch, ''TheLegendOfKorra''

-->-- '''''WesternAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''', ''[[VideoGame/LEGOAdaptationGame LEGO Indiana Jones]]''

'''Sonic:''' '''''SHUT UP TAILS!!'''''
-->-- ''Anime/SonicOVA''

-->-- ''[[DNAKpts4tv Death Note The Abridged Series (Kpts4tv)]]''

Wrestling/RicFlair in the mental ward. How degrading.\\

'''Jay:''' ''He's accepted the money, ''and'' the career, ''and'' the gimmick.'' And Kurt Angle is slapping the gimmick. And his face just happens to be there as well. [everyone guffaws] How do ''you'' feel about Eugene?\\

'''Jay:''' [cold-blooded] He's accepted the money, ''and'' the career, ''and'' the gimmick. And Kurt Angle is slapping the gimmick. And his face just happens to be there as well. [everyone guffaws] How do ''you'' feel about Eugene.\\

'''OOC:''' And how d'ya feel about Wrestling/NickDinsmore in general? It was a {{job|er}}. He didn't deserve to be treated like that by Kurt Angle. Kurt Angle was taking his anger out on a gimmick; he shouldn'tve been taking it out on [[MisBlamed a fellow wrestling tryin' to earn a career.]]\\

'''OOC:''' [[HypocrisyNod Oh, completely agree.]]\\

'''Quagmire:''' Okay. I'll tell you. You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend's wife, the man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death, and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard, [[TheSlacker and you're such a sponge]]. You pay for nothing and you always say "oh I'll get you later", but later never comes! And what really bothers me is [[BitchInSheepsClothing you pretend that you're this deep guy who loves women for their souls]] when all you do is date bimbos. [[LovableSexManiac Yeah, I date women for their bodies]], [[AtLeastIAdmitIt but at least I'm honest about it]]! I don't buy them a copy of ''[[Literature/TheCatcherInTheRye Catcher in the Rye]]'' and then lecture them with some [[MisaimedFandom 7th grade interpretation about how Holden Caulfield is some profound intellectual]]. He wasn't! He was a {{spoiled brat}}, and that's why you like him so much. He's '''you'''! ''God'', you're pretentious. [[SmallNameBigEgo And you delude yourself by thinking you're some great writer even though you're terrible.]] You know, I should have known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She would've known there was no "a" in the word definite. And I think what I hate most about you is your [[StrawmanPolitical textbook liberal agenda]] on how we should "legalize pot man", how big business is crushing the underclass, how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America -- well, what have you done to help? [[HiddenDepths I work down at the soup kitchen]], Brian. Never seen '''you''' down there! You want to help, GRAB A LADLE! And by the way, driving a Prius doesn't make you Jesus Christ. [[HollywoodAtheist Oh wait, you don't believe in Jesus Christ, or any religion for that matter, because "religion is for idiots!"]] Well, who the hell are you to talk down to anyone? You failed college twice, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father. [[ChuckCunninghamSyndrome How is that son of yours you never see?]] But you know what, I could forgive all of that, ALL OF IT... if you weren't ''such'' a bore! That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big sad alcoholic '''''BORE.''''' [sigh] See ya, Brian. Thanks for the [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] steak.

'''Quagmire:''' [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech Okay. I'll tell you. You are the worst person I know.]] You constantly hit on your best friend's wife, the man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death, and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard, [[TheLoad and you're such a sponge]]. You pay for nothing and you always say "oh I'll get you later", but later never comes! And what really bothers me is [[BitchInSheepsClothing you pretend that you're this deep guy who loves women for their souls]] when all you do is date bimbos. [[LovableSexManiac Yeah, I date women for their bodies]], [[AtLeastIAdmitIt but at least I'm honest about it]]! I don't buy them a copy of ''[[Literature/TheCatcherInTheRye Catcher in the Rye]]'' and then lecture them with some [[MisaimedFandom 7th grade interpretation about how Holden Caulfield is some profound intellectual]]. He wasn't! He was a {{spoiled brat}}, and that's why you like him so much. He's '''you'''! ''God'', you're pretentious. [[SmallNameBigEgo And you delude yourself by thinking you're some great writer even though you're terrible.]] You know, I should have known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She would've known there was no "a" in the word definite. And I think what I hate most about you is your [[StrawmanPolitical textbook liberal agenda]] on how we should "legalize pot man", how big business is crushing the underclass, how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America -- well, what have you done to help? [[HiddenDepths I work down at the soup kitchen]], Brian. Never seen '''you''' down there! You want to help, GRAB A LADLE! And by the way, driving a Prius doesn't make you Jesus Christ. [[HollywoodAtheist Oh wait, you don't believe in Jesus Christ]], [[OutgrownSuchSillySuperstitions or any religion for that matter, because "religion is for idiots!"]] Well, who the hell are you to talk down to anyone? You failed college twice, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father. [[PutOnABus How is that son of yours you never see?]] But you know what, I could forgive all of that, ALL OF IT... if you weren't such a '''''[[TheBore bore]]'''''! That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big sad alcoholic ''bore''! [sigh] See ya, Brian. Thanks for the [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] steak.

[[folder:fiction]]
->[passing a [[TheScrappy Scrappy]] statue in [[MythologyGag the Crystal Cove Haunted Museum]]]\\
'''Daphne''': Wow! I haven't seen--\\
'''Fred''': Look away, Daphne. We all promised each other that [[{{Unperson}} we would never speak of him]]. ''Not ever!''
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/ScoobyDooMysteryIncorporated''

->Next to Microsoft Bob, you're the most annoying thing in computer history!
-->-- '''Microsoft programmer''' to [[ExpositionFairy Clippy]], '''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fa4YKZB6jG0 Anti-Clippy ad]]'''.

->Minstrels from ''Italia''? [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown I am going to enjoy this!]]
-->-- '''Ezio Auditore da Firenze''', '''VideoGame/AssassinsCreedRevelations'''

->'''Takada:''' I hope you're not mad but I think my bodyguard crippled your [[TheBeard fake girlfriend]] today.\\
'''Light:''' Oh no, that's terrible! Is she paralyzed?\\
'''Takada:''' I don't know I'm not a doctor.\\
'''Light:''' Will she be able to talk?\\
'''Takada:''' [[MotorMouth At the rate she was blabbing]] I doubt that death itself would shut her up.
-->-- ''[[DNAKpts4tv Death Note The Abridged Series (Kpts4tv)]]''

->SHUT UP, Wesley!

->'''Brian:''' I'm trying to establish a friendship with you. All I've done is try to be nice to you, and you still don't like me! ''How'' can you not like me?!\\
'''Quagmire:''' [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech Okay. I'll tell you. You are the worst person I know.]] You constantly hit on your best friend's wife, the man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death, and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard, [[TheLoad and you're such a sponge]]. You pay for nothing and you always say "oh I'll get you later", but later never comes! And what really bothers me is [[BitchInSheepsClothing you pretend that you're this deep guy who loves women for their souls]] when all you do is date bimbos. [[LovableSexManiac Yeah, I date women for their bodies]], [[AtLeastIAdmitIt but at least I'm honest about it]]! I don't buy them a copy of ''[[Literature/TheCatcherInTheRye Catcher in the Rye]]'' and then lecture them with some [[MisaimedFandom 7th grade interpretation about how Holden Caulfield is some profound intellectual]]. He wasn't! He was a {{spoiled brat}}, and that's why you like him so much. He's '''you'''! ''God'', you're pretentious. [[SmallNameBigEgo And you delude yourself by thinking you're some great writer even though you're terrible.]] You know, I should have known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She would've known there was no "a" in the word definite. And I think what I hate most about you is your [[StrawmanPolitical textbook liberal agenda]] on how we should "legalize pot man", how big business is crushing the underclass, how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America -- well, what have you done to help? [[HiddenDepths I work down at the soup kitchen]], Brian. Never seen '''you''' down there! You want to help, GRAB A LADLE! And by the way, driving a Prius doesn't make you Jesus Christ. [[HollywoodAtheist Oh wait, you don't believe in Jesus Christ]], [[OutgrownSuchSillySuperstitions or any religion for that matter, because "religion is for idiots!"]] Well, who the hell are you to talk down to anyone? You failed college twice, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father. [[PutOnABus How is that son of yours you never see?]] But you know what, I could forgive all of that, ALL OF IT... if you weren't such a '''''[[TheBore bore]]'''''! That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big sad alcoholic ''bore''! [sigh] See ya, Brian. Thanks for the [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] steak.
-->---''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''

->'''Hank:''' Loser! You're a loser! Are you feeling sorry for yourself? Well you should be, cause you are dirt! You make me sick, you big baby! Baby wanna bottle? A big dirt bottle?\\
'''Peggy:''' *sobbing* Why are you yelling at me?
-->--''WesternAnimation/KingOfTheHill''

'''Dale Stuckey:''' No, you don't know me... I'm...\\

->You're the one who's lying to yourself. You don't wanna accept the truth. Deep down, you know once Sonic is gone, your life will have to go back to the way it was before. Your days of adventure are at an end, boy, just like your friendship with that hyper-annoying hedgehog. All your dreams have been shattered, haven't they? Life is like that, kiddo. Take it from somebody who knows! Whenever you reach too high, life smacks you down! But on the bright side, at least you and I won't have to see each other ever again.
-->-- '''Eggman''' to Chris, ''{{Sonic X}}''

->'''Tail:''' SONIC! Help me!!! Wake up Sonic! Come on; HEEELLLPPP!!!! Help me, wake up Sonic!\\
'''Sonic:''' ''SHUT UP TAILS!''
-->-- ''Anime/SonicOVA''

->...The evil Unalaq, the diabolical but incredibly boring and unpopular sorcerer from the North...

[[folder:reviews]]

->You brought back Wil Wheaton; why couldn't you have made Wesley the villain? ''That'' would've put asses in seats!
-->-- '''{{Website/SFDebris}}''' on ''Film/StarTrekNemesis''

-> ''[Vadinho knocks out Tony with one punch]''\\
''Tom Servo:''' "Yes! The Aztec speaks for all of us!"
-->-- ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'', ''"Film/PumaMan"''

->''Damn, that's satisfying! Even more satisfying than Eboshi being [[spoiler:pummelled (sic)]] in PrincessMononoke.... You know what, SCRAP the film, [[JustHereForGodzilla just show me Nyra breaking her back on a rock for an hour and a half,]] that would be MUCH more entertaining: seeing the most boring female villain ever being MAIMED!''
-->-- '''[[http://duckyworth.deviantart.com/journal/DT-LOTG-Owls-of-Ga-Hoole-2010-REVISITED-396728950 Duckyworth,]]''' ''LegendOfTheGuardiansTheOwlsOfGahoole''

->The inhabitant of old Zanarkand on whom [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyX Tidus]] was based... He may not be Tidus, but murdering him with guns and swords and knives is nevertheless very satisfying.

!!Quotes from works:

->''"Next to Microsoft Bob, you're the most annoying thing in computer history!"''

->''"Minstrels from ''Italia''? [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown I am going to enjoy this!]]"''

->'''Takada:''' I hope you're not mad but I think my bodyguard crippled your [[TheBeard fake girlfriend]] today.
->'''Light:''' Oh no, that's terrible! Is she paralyzed?
->'''Takada:''' I don't know I'm not a doctor.
->'''Light:''' Will she be able to talk?
->'''Takada:''' [[MotorMouth At the rate she was blabbing]] I doubt that death itself would shut her up.
->'''Light:''' Dammit! You should fire your bodyguards!

->''"Now listen to me, you young idiot: you’re not so much gullible as idealistic. I suppose it comes from your deprived, delinquent background."''

-->---'''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'''

-->--'''WesternAnimation/KingOfTheHill'''

-->--'''LawAndOrderSpecialVictimsUnit'''

->''"I have to go with [[SmallNameBigEgo Cha]][[PointyHairedBoss tot]]? That's so booooring!"''

->'''Cartman:''' You are the worst character ever, Towelie.\\
'''Towelie:''' I know.
-->--'''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'''

->''"Since you don't seem to understand what we're getting at, [[BrutalHonesty I'll just say it]]. You're a nuisance!"''

->''"You're the one who's lying to yourself. You don't wanna accept the truth. Deep down, you know once Sonic is gone, your life will have to go back to the way it was before. Your days of adventure are at an end, boy, just like your friendship with that hyper-annoying hedgehog. All your dreams have been shattered, haven't they? Life is like that, kiddo. Take it from somebody who knows! Whenever you reach too high, life smacks you down! But on the bright side, at least you and I won't have to see each other ever again."''

->SONIC! Help me!!! Wake up Sonic! Come on; HEEELLLPPP!!!! Help me, wake up Sonic!\\
''SHUT UP TAILS!''
-->-- SonicOVA

->''"...The evil Unalaq, the diabolical but incredibly boring and unpopular sorcerer from the North..."''

!!Quotes ''on'' works
->''"Picard, the captain who recognized Wesley's intellect and promoted him to acting ensign, responds with three words that follow me to this day: 'Shut up, Wesley!' [[AndThereWasMuchRejoicing Trekkies around the country gasp in delight]] as an episode that was veering into 'The Last Outpost' territory suddenly has redeeming value. [[PhraseCatcher Basement printing presses, silk screens, and button-makers]] go into over drive as entrepreneurial fans do what they do best. The convention market is flooded with the resulting merchandise, and children are still attending college today from the sales."''

->''"You brought back Creator/WilWheaton; why couldn't you have made [[TheScrappy Wesley]] the villain? ''That'' would've put asses in seats!"''

->''"The Dominion has invaded Betazed? About damn time! We can only hope that Counselor busybody was visiting her mother at the time and was caught in a horrific blast by a Jem H’adar strike party. What’s that? She turns up on ''[[Series/StarTrekVoyager Voyager]]''? Trust them to spoil the party!"''

->''"As this story is Adric's final adventure, it focuses strongly on the character.... We can also see how the character has developed, due in part to the fact that Waterhouse was not particularly comfortable with the role; originally Adric was meant as a kind of 'ArtfulDodger' type, but by 'Earthshock' he is a sullen, awkward youth, who doesn't fit in with the rest of the crew, in a move apparently [[RealLifeWritesThePlot paralleling the actor's role in the programme]]. The fact that Adric is male also means that his perpetual protestation seems [[{{Wangst}} whiny and immature]] rather than [[DoubleStandard a sign of vulnerability]]. It is therefore appropriate that, having had so many problems of characterisation throughout his tenure in the series, Adric should get such a strong, poignant -- and, indeed, shocking -- sendoff."''

->''"Vail -- heh -- levitates a much bigger knife to him from -- tee hee -- across the room and -- [[DissonantLaughter ha ha ha!]] -- plunges it into Wesley's stomach. Yes! ...Anyway, at long last, Wesley shuts up once and for all. Hooray!"''

->''"Lois takes Clark up to the roof of the ''Daily Planet'' building and attempts to [[PipePain beat him with a pipe]], which is when it enters the full-on range of wish fulfillment for me and Uzi. I would tune in to watch ''Lois Beats Clark With A Pipe'' every week."''

->''"And then...and then...the earth cracks open, the four horsemen appear and begin hurling floppy javelins at old ladies, the sky turns a stark shade of pudding, the cars start running backwards, and CLARK STARTS CALLING LANA ON HER BEHAVIOR.\\\

No, no trumpets, no fire rain, no new Babylon, but nonetheless, a sign of the end times...I don't know if you all saw it, but I managed to [[ReachingBetweenTheLines snake my way through space and time]] onto the set into that scene, and if you look carefully, you can see me cheering and making pelvic thrusts at both characters in the background. I think I was screaming '[[RevengeOfTheSith Good, Anakin! Goooood! Kill her. Kill her now]].'\\\
It might be on the DVD, I don't know."''

-->--'''[=ComicsAlliance=]''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/comicsalliance-reviews-x-men-origins-wolverine-2009-part-o/ on]] ''Film/XMenOriginsWolverine''

-> ''[Vadinho knocks out Tony with one punch]''
->'''Tom Servo:''' "Yes! The Aztec speaks for all of us!"
-->-- '''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000''', ''"Film/PumaMan"''

->''"Thankfully, you can kill your partners as many times as you like and the game won't punish you for it. And lemmie tell you, brutally beating Short Round into [[VideoGameCrueltyPotential a pile of bloody plastic giblets fourteen times]] removes all feelings of antipathy you've ever had towards the character!"''
-->-- '''''WesternAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''', ''[[VideoGame/LEGOAdaptationGame LEGO Indiana Jones]]''

->''"The inhabitant of old Zanarkand on whom [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyX Tidus]] was based... He may not be Tidus, but murdering him with guns and swords and knives is nevertheless very satisfying."''
-->-- '''Pat R.''', [[http://socksmakepeoplesexy.net/index.php?a=ffx2 "So It's Come to This"]]

->"...The evil Unalaq, the diabolical but incredibly boring and unpopular sorcerer from the North..."

-->-- '''The Doctor''' to Adric, ''Series/DoctorWho'' ([[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS19E2FourToDoomsday}} "Four to Doomsday"]]

'''Quagmire:''' Okay. I'll tell you. You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend's wife, the man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death, and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard, [[TheLoad and you're such a sponge]]. You pay for nothing and you always say "oh I'll get you later" but later never comes! And what really bothers me is [[BitchInSheepsClothing you pretend that you're this deep guy who loves women for their souls]] when all you do is date bimbos. [[LovableSexManiac Yeah, I date women for their bodies]], [[AtLeastIAdmitIt but at least I'm honest about it]]. I don't buy them a copy of ''[[Literature/TheCatcherInTheRye Catcher in the Rye]]'' and then lecture them with some [[MisaimedFandom 7th grade interpretation about how Holden Caulfield is some profound intellectual]]. He wasn't! He was a {{spoiled brat}} and that's why you like him so much. He's '''you'''! God, you're pretentious. [[SmallNameBigEgo And you delude yourself by thinking you're some great writer even though you're terrible.]] You know, I should have known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She would've known there was no "a" in the word definite. And I think what I hate most about you is your [[StrawmanPolitical textbook liberal agenda]] on how we should "legalize pot man", how big business is crushing the underclass, how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America, well what have you done to help? [[HiddenDepths I work down at the soup kitchen]], Brian. Never seen '''you''' down there! You want to help, GRAB A LADLE! And by the way, driving a Prius doesn't make you Jesus Christ. [[HollywoodAtheist Oh wait, you don't believe in Jesus Christ]] [[OutgrownSuchSillySuperstitions or any religion for that matter because "religion is for idiots!"]] Well, who the hell are you to talk down to anyone? You failed college twice, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father. [[PutOnABus How is that son of yours you never see?]] But you know what, I could forgive all of that, ALL OF IT...if you weren't such a '''[[TheBore bore]]'''! That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big sad alcoholic ''bore''! [sigh] See ya, Brian. Thanks for the [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] steak.

->''"Since you don't seem to understand what we're getting at, I'll just say it. You're a nuisance!"''

->''"As this story is Adric's final adventure, it focuses strongly on the character.... We can also see how the character has developed, due in part to the fact that Waterhouse was not particularly comfortable with the role; originally Adric was meant as a kind of 'ArtfulDodger' type, but by 'Earthshock' he is a sullen, awkward youth, who doesn't fit in with the rest of the crew, in a move apparently [[RealLifeWritesThePlot paralleling the actor's role in the programme]]. The fact that Adric is male also means that his perpetual protestation seems [[{{Wangst}} whiny and immature]] rather than a sign of vulnerability. It is therefore appropriate that, having had so many problems of characterisation throughout his tenure in the series, Adric should get such a strong, poignant-and, indeed, shocking-sendoff."''

->''Damn, that's satisfying! Even more satisfying than Eboshi being [[spoiler: pummelled (sic)]] in PrincessMononoke.... You know what, SCRAP the film, [[JustHereForGodzilla just show me Nyra breaking her back on a rock for an hour and a half,]] that would be MUCH more entertaining: seeing the most boring female villain ever being MAIMED!''

->''"The Dominion has invaded Betazed? About damn time! We can only hope that Counsellor busybody was visiting her mother at the time and was caught in a horrific blast by a Jem H’adar strike party. What’s that? She turns up on ''[[Series/StarTrekVoyager Voyager]]''? Trust them to spoil the party!"''

-->--'''Chris Sims''' and David Uzumeri''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/comicsalliance-recaps-smallville-episode-8-17-hex/ on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Hex")