18th Nov: We've switched servers and will be updating the old code over the next couple months, meaning that several things might break. Please report issues here.
Quotes from works:
[passing a Scrappy statue in the Crystal Cove Haunted Museum]
Daphne: Wow! I haven't seen—
Fred: Look away, Daphne. We all promised each other that we would never speak of him. Not ever!
"Next to Microsoft Bob, you're the most annoying thing in computer history!"
"Minstrels from Italia? I am going to enjoy this!"
— Ezio Auditore da Firenze, Assassin's Creed: Revelations
Takada: I hope you're not mad but I think my bodyguard crippled your fake girlfriend today.
Light: Oh no, that's terrible! Is she paralyzed?
Takada: I don't know I'm not a doctor.
Light: Will she be able to talk?
Takada: At the rate she was blabbing I doubt that death itself would shut her up.
Light: Dammit! You should fire your bodyguards!
"Now listen to me, you young idiot: you’re not so much gullible as idealistic. I suppose it comes from your deprived, delinquent background."
Brian: I'm trying to establish a friendship with you. All I've done is try to be nice to you, and you still don't like me! How can you not like me?!
Quagmire: Okay. I'll tell you. You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend's wife, the man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death, and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard, and you're such a sponge. You pay for nothing and you always say "oh I'll get you later", but later never comes! And what really bothers me is you pretend that you're this deep guy who loves women for their souls when all you do is date bimbos. Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it! I don't buy them a copy of Catcher in the Rye and then lecture them with some 7th grade interpretation about how Holden Caulfield is some profound intellectual. He wasn't! He was a spoiled brat, and that's why you like him so much. He's you! God, you're pretentious. And you delude yourself by thinking you're some great writer even though you're terrible. You know, I should have known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She would've known there was no "a" in the word definite. And I think what I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda on how we should "legalize pot man", how big business is crushing the underclass, how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America — well, what have you done to help? I work down at the soup kitchen, Brian. Never seen you down there! You want to help, GRAB A LADLE! And by the way, driving a Prius doesn't make you Jesus Christ. Oh wait, you don't believe in Jesus Christ, or any religion for that matter, because "religion is for idiots!" Well, who the hell are you to talk down to anyone? You failed college twice, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father. How is that son of yours you never see? But you know what, I could forgive all of that, ALL OF IT... if you weren't such a bore! That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big sad alcoholic bore! [sigh] See ya, Brian. Thanks for the fucking steak.
Hank: Loser! You're a loser! Are you feeling sorry for yourself? Well you should be, cause you are dirt! You make me sick, you big baby! Baby wanna bottle? A big dirt bottle?
Peggy: *sobbing* Why are you yelling at me?
Judge Donnelly: You must be Dale Stuckey.
Dale Stuckey: I'm good at my job, okay? And I'm—
Judge Donnelly: Mr. Stuckey, you're out of order and seriously deluded. If this is your idea of doing a good job, you're in the wro-oo-oong line of work.
Dale Stuckey: No, you don't know me... I'm...
Judge Donnelly: I don't care to.
Cartman: You are the worst character ever, Towelie.
Towelie: I know.
"Since you don't seem to understand what we're getting at, I'll just say it. You're a nuisance!"
"You're the one who's lying to yourself. You don't wanna accept the truth. Deep down, you know once Sonic is gone, your life will have to go back to the way it was before. Your days of adventure are at an end, boy, just like your friendship with that hyper-annoying hedgehog. All your dreams have been shattered, haven't they? Life is like that, kiddo. Take it from somebody who knows! Whenever you reach too high, life smacks you down! But on the bright side, at least you and I won't have to see each other ever again."
— Eggman to Chris, Sonic X
SONIC! Help me!!! Wake up Sonic! Come on; HEEELLLPPP!!!! Help me, wake up Sonic!
SHUT UP TAILS!
Quotes on works
"Picard, the captain who recognized Wesley's intellect and promoted him to acting ensign, responds with three words that follow me to this day: 'Shut up, Wesley!' Trekkies around the country gasp in delight as an episode that was veering into 'The Last Outpost' territory suddenly has redeeming value. Basement printing presses, silk screens, and button-makers go into over drive as entrepreneurial fans do what they do best. The convention market is flooded with the resulting merchandise, and children are still attending college today from the sales."
— Wil Wheaton's review of Datalore
"You brought back Wil Wheaton; why couldn't you have made Wesley the villain? That would've put asses in seats!"
"The Dominion has invaded Betazed? About damn time! We can only hope that Counselor busybody was visiting her mother at the time and was caught in a horrific blast by a Jem H’adar strike party. What’s that? She turns up on Voyager? Trust them to spoil the party!"
"As this story is Adric's final adventure, it focuses strongly on the character.... We can also see how the character has developed, due in part to the fact that Waterhouse was not particularly comfortable with the role; originally Adric was meant as a kind of 'Artful Dodger' type, but by 'Earthshock' he is a sullen, awkward youth, who doesn't fit in with the rest of the crew, in a move apparently paralleling the actor's role in the programme. The fact that Adric is male also means that his perpetual protestation seems whiny and immature rather than a sign of vulnerability. It is therefore appropriate that, having had so many problems of characterisation throughout his tenure in the series, Adric should get such a strong, poignant — and, indeed, shocking — sendoff."
—Alan Stevens and Fiona Moore, "An Analysis of Earthshock"
"Vail — heh — levitates a much bigger knife to him from — tee hee — across the room and — ha ha ha! — plunges it into Wesley's stomach. Yes! ...Anyway, at long last, Wesley shuts up once and for all. Hooray!"
"Lois takes Clark up to the roof of the Daily Planet building and attempts to beat him with a pipe, which is when it enters the full-on range of wish fulfillment for me and Uzi. I would tune in to watch Lois Beats Clark With A Pipe every week."
"And then...and then...the earth cracks open, the four horsemen appear and begin hurling floppy javelins at old ladies, the sky turns a stark shade of pudding, the cars start running backwards, and CLARK STARTS CALLING LANA ON HER BEHAVIOR.
No, no trumpets, no fire rain, no new Babylon, but nonetheless, a sign of the end times...I don't know if you all saw it, but I managed to snake my way through space and time onto the set into that scene, and if you look carefully, you can see me cheering and making pelvic thrusts at both characters in the background. I think I was screaming 'Good, Anakin! Goooood! Kill her. Kill her now.'
It might be on the DVD, I don't know."
Matt: Another thing that helps with Gambit: In like his second scene, Wolverine shuts him up by elbowing him in the face. If I was in a theater, I would have maybe applauded that.
Chris: Doesn’t call him “Gumbo,” though, which is a slap in the face to the True Fans.
[Vadinho knocks out Tony with one punch]
"Thankfully, you can kill your partners as many times as you like and the game won't punish you for it. And lemmie tell you, brutally beating Short Round into a pile of bloody plastic giblets fourteen times removes all feelings of antipathy you've ever had towards the character!"
"The inhabitant of old Zanarkand on whom Tidus was based... He may not be Tidus, but murdering him with guns and swords and knives is nevertheless very satisfying."
— Pat R., "So It's Come to This"
Damn, that's satisfying! Even more satisfying than Eboshi being pummelled (sic) in Princess Mononoke.... You know what, SCRAP the film, just show me Nyra breaking her back on a rock for an hour and a half, that would be MUCH more entertaining: seeing the most boring female villain ever being MAIMED!