History Quotes / ScrewedByTheNetwork

!!!Fiction
->''"You know, the guys in prime-time could have had this show, but no! They had 'better ideas!'"''

->''"Once I beat you, [[NoFourthWall your show]] will be cancelled faster than you can say 'created by Creator/JossWhedon'"!

->''"We had [[FridayNightDeathslot a lousy timeslot]]"''.

!!!RealLife
->''"[[Creator/TomBaker Tom]] was getting big figures. Ratings fell, and when ratings fall in television, in spite of your ''[the fans’]'' love and enthusiasm, the executives get scared. Why did the ratings fall? It might have been because we went up against ''Series/CoronationStreet'', the most popular soap in the world? It was a big drop, wasn’t it? A 50% drop. It was considerable...It’s all to do with money. They took you for granted. They tended to use ''Doctor Who'' as a kind of training ship [[SciFiGhetto for novices to get their experience on]]. That’s bad."''

->''"If NBC had been trying to cancel us, they couldn't have done a better job."''

->''"What does Creator/{{NBC}} stand for? Never Believe your Contract."''

->"''I had [[LateNightWithConanOBrian a show]]. Then I had [[TheTonightShow a different show]]. Now I have [[DudeWheresMyReward a Twitter account]].''"

->''"In a master stroke of UPN programming brilliance, ''WesternAnimation/{{Dilbert}}'' follows ''ShastaMcNasty,'' a show geared toward viewers who are... how can I say this... very likely to [[TooDumbToLive die in bowling ball cleaning machine accidents]]. Fortunately, ''Shasta'' is a filthy and sophomoric show, so it will corner the market on perverts and unsupervised minors. It's a perfect lead-in audience for an animated ''Dilbert'' TV show. If you don't understand that, ''you'' will never be a television executive."''
-->-- '''ScottAdams'''

->''"Fox is like Whedon's secretly abusive boyfriend; no matter how many times Fox hurts him, cheats on him, beats him down, Whedon always believes Fox when they say it will be different this time."''

->''"As for ''[Glenn Greenberg's] belief that a ''ScarletSpider'' book would have eventually failed, he is entitled to his opinion. I certainly believe that the powers-that-were at {{Marvel}} would have eventually cancelled the book even if it was selling...just like they cancelled ''Thunderstrike'' and ''[[ComicBook/WarMachine War Machine]]'' even though both books were profitable. Since I had access to the actual sales during that period, I can attest to the fact that at the time it was cancelled ''Thunderstrike'' was actually selling more copies than both ''{{ComicBook/Thor}}'' and ''[[{{ComicBook/Avengers}} Avengers]]'' combined. Why were profitable titles like ''Thunderstrike'', ''War Machines'' and all the [[{{Franchise/Marvel 2099}} 2099]] books cancelled? The answer I was given was that the guy in charge of marketing had decided that these additional titles were hurting the core company franchises. He believed that the sales on ''Thor'' would go up as soon as ''Thunderstrike'' was cancelled, and ''Amazing Spider-man'' would increase with ''[[ComicBook/SpiderMan2099 Spider-Man 2099]]'' gone. Nice theory...but I still think it was nonsense."''

->''"I'm going to kill that fucking [[Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000 puppet show]]."''
-->-- '''Bonnie Hammer''', then-president of the [[Creator/{{Syfy}} Sci-Fi channel]]

->''I'm going to kill that fucking [[Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000 puppet show]].''

->''I'm going to kill that fucking [[Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000 puppet show]]''

->''"You know, the guys in prime-time could have had this show, but no! They had "better ideas!"''

->'''Lothar''': Personally I think Creator/JossWhedon screwed up the pitch.
->'''Virus''': Explain.
->'''Lothar''': The way I see it, he goes into a room with a stuffy TV executive who doesn't know his arse from his elbow and goes into great detail about the backstory, the rich setting, how the entire cast is made up of good actors portraying likeable characters. Then he went on to explain the witty well written script and suddenly [[{{Series/Firefly}} his best show ever]] is stuck in TV scheduling hell and cancelled before the paint on the set could dry. Whereas if he had gone in and simply said "Cowboys and Prostitutes [[RecycledINSPACE in Space]]", we'd probably be watching the spin-off series where Jayne and Simon have to live together in a tiny space apartment without their space landlord Saffron finding out they're not actually space gay.
->'''Eastwood''': Probably best that it ended early then.
-->-- ''Webcomic/ExterminatusNow'', on ''[[http://exterminatusnow.co.uk/2008-03-29/comic/non-storyline/randoms/the-prefix-space-always-heightens-a-word/ Firefly]]''.

->'''Shin:''' Hey, mister. Do you know where I can hide and no one would find me?
->'''TV Manager:''' [[Creator/AdultSwim 2 AM, Saturdays]]?
->'''Shin:''' [[SarcasmMode Thanks for being such a jerk]]!

->''We had [[FridayNightDeathslot a lousy timeslot]]''.

->''"Audiences are fiercely protective because they know that if four TV executives are stranded on an island with a crate of food and a can opener, [[TooDumbToLive three will starve to death and the fourth will choke on the can opener]]."''
-->-- '''{{Website/Cracked}}''', "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/nbc-cancels-outsourced-anti-protest-letter/ NBC Cancels "Outsourced": An Anti-Protest Letter]]"

->"In a master stroke of UPN programming brilliance, ''WesternAnimation/{{Dilbert}}'' follows ''ShastaMcNasty,'' a show geared toward viewers who are... how can I say this... very likely to die in bowling ball cleaning machine accidents. Fortunately, ''Shasta'' is a filthy and sophomoric show, so it will corner the market on perverts and unsupervised minors. It's a perfect lead-in audience for an animated ''Dilbert'' TV show. If you don't understand that, ''you'' will never be a television executive."
-->-- '''ScottAdams'''

->''"As for ''[Glenn Greenberg's] belief that a SCARLET SPIDER book would have eventually failed, he is entitled to his opinion. I certainly believe that the powers-that-were at {{Marvel}} would have eventually cancelled the book even if it was selling...just like they cancelled THUNDERSTRIKE and [[ComicBook/WarMachine WAR MACHINE]] even though both books were profitable. Since I had access to the actual sales during that period, I can attest to the fact that at the time it was cancelled THUNDERSTRIKE was actually selling more copies than both THOR and AVENGERS combined. Why were profitable titles like THUNDERSTRIKE, WAR MACHINE and all the [[{{Franchise/Marvel 2099}} 2099]] books cancelled? The answer I was given was that the guy in charge of marketing had decided that these additional titles were hurting the core company franchises. He believed that the sales on THOR would go up as soon as THUNDERSTRIKE was cancelled, and AMAZING SPIDER-MAN would increase with [[ComicBook/SpiderMan2099 SPIDER-MAN 2099]] gone. Nice theory...but I still think it was nonsense."''

'''Peter:''' Well, unfortunately, Lois, there's just no more room on the schedule. We just gotta accept the fact that FOX has to make room for terrific shows like ''Series/DarkAngel'', ''Series/{{Titus}}'', ''Series/{{Undeclared}}'', ''Series/{{Action}}'', ''That '80s Show'', ''Series/{{Wonderfalls}}'', ''{{Fastlane}}'', ''Series/AndyRichterControlsTheUniverse'', ''Series/{{Skin}}'', ''Girls Club'', ''CrackingUp'', ''Series/ThePitts'', ''Series/{{Firefly}}'', ''Get Real'', ''Freaky Links'', ''Wanda at Large'', ''Costello'', ''Series/TheLoneGunmen'', ''A Minute with Stan Hooper'', ''Normal Ohio'', ''Pasadena'', ''Series/HarshRealm'', ''KeenEddie'', ''Series/TheStreet'', ''American Embassy'', ''Cedric the Entertainer'', ''Series/TheTick'', ''{{Louie}}'', and ''GregTheBunny''.\\

->''You know, the guys in prime-time could have had this show, but no! They had "better ideas!"''

->''Once I beat you, [[NoFourthWall your show]] will be cancelled faster than you can say "created by Creator/JossWhedon"!

->''Fox is like Whedon's secretly abusive boyfriend; no matter how many times Fox hurts him, cheats on him, beats him down, Whedon always believes Fox when they say it will be different this time.''

-->--''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''

-->--''Webcomic/ExterminatusNow'', on ''[[http://exterminatusnow.co.uk/2008-03-29/comic/non-storyline/randoms/the-prefix-space-always-heightens-a-word/ Firefly]]''.

-->--'''[[Series/TheLAComplex Raquel Westbrook]]'''

-->---'''Creator/ConanOBrien'''

-->--''[=xxBirdMadGirlxx=] on [[Website/{{Fark}} Fark.com]]''

-->--''WesternAnimation/{{Freakazoid}}''

-->--'''Melvin''', ''WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries''

->''"As for ''[Glenn Greenberg's] belief that a SCARLET SPIDER book would have eventually failed, he is entitled to his opinion. I certainly believe that the powers-that-were at {{Marvel}} would have eventually cancelled the book even if it was selling...just like they cancelled THUNDERSTRIKE and [[ComicBook/WarMachine WAR MACHINE]] even though both books were profitable. Since I had access to the actual sales during that period, I can attest to the fact that at the time it was canceled THUNDERSTRIKE was actually selling more copies than both THOR and AVENGERS combined. Why were profitable titles like THUNDERSTRIKE, WAR MACHINE and all the [[{{Franchise/Marvel2099}} 2099]] books cancelled? The answer I was given was that the guy in charge of marketing had decided that these additional titles were hurting the core company franchises. He believed that the sales on THOR would go up as soon as THUNDERSTRIKE was cancelled, and AMAZING SPIDER-MAN would increase with SPIDER-MAN 2099 gone. Nice theory...but I still think it was nonsense."''
-->--'''Editor Tom [=DeFalco=]''' on ''ComicBook/TheCloneSaga''

->''"As for ''[Glenn Greenberg's] belief that a SCARLET SPIDER book would have eventually failed, he is entitled to his opinion. I certainly believe that the powers-that-were at {{Marvel}} would have eventually cancelled the book even if it was selling...just like they cancelled THUNDERSTRIKE and [[ComicBook/WarMachine WAR MACHINE]] even though both books were profitable. Since I had access to the actual sales during that period, I can attest to the fact that at the time it was canceled THUNDERSTRIKE was actually selling more copies than both THOR and AVENGERS combined. Why were profitable titles like THUNDERSTRIKE, WAR MACHINE and all the [[Franchise/Marvel2099 2099]] books cancelled? The answer I was given was that the guy in charge of marketing had decided that these additional titles were hurting the core company franchises. He believed that the sales on THOR would go up as soon as THUNDERSTRIKE was cancelled, and AMAZING SPIDER-MAN would increase with SPIDER-MAN 2099 gone. Nice theory...but I still think it was nonsense."''

->''We had a lousy timeslot''.

->"''I had a show. Then I had a different show. Now I have a Twitter account.''"

->''I simply don’t know what happened to this movie. Apparently the original script by Neveldine/Taylor (writers of ''{{Film/Crank}}'') was quite good. Something must have scared the producers or something drastic happened because the movie was deformed worse than Hex’s face. There is no way in hell they would release a 73 minute movie in this day in age when even YogiBear (traditionally a five minute cartoon) is over 90 minutes. Yeah, you heard me right. This is barely over 73 minutes.''
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Miles Antwiler]]''' [[http://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2010/12/21/jonah-hex-2010-jimmy-hayward/ on]] ''Film/JonahHex''

->"''I had a show. Then I had a different show. Now I have a Twitter account.''"
-->---'''Creator/ConanOBrien'''

->"In a master stroke of UPN programming brilliance, ''WesternAnimation/{{Dilbert}}'' follows ''ShastaMcNasty,'' a show geared toward viewers who are... how can I say this... very likely to die in bowling ball cleaning machine accidents. Fortunately, ''Shasta'' is a filthy and sophomoric show, so it will corner the market on perverts and unsupervised minors. It's a perfect lead-in audience for an animated ''Dilbert'' TV show. If you don't understand that, ''you'' will never be a television executive."
-->-- '''ScottAdams'''

->''Fox is like Whedon's secretly abusive boyfriend; no matter how many times Fox hurts him, cheats on him, beats him down, Whedon always believes Fox when they say it will be different this time.''
-->--''[=xxBirdMadGirlxx=] on [[Website/{{Fark}} Fark.com]]''

'''Peter:''' Well, unfortunately, Lois, there's just no more room on the schedule. We just gotta accept the fact that FOX has to make room for terrific shows like ''Series/DarkAngel'', ''Series/{{Titus}}'', ''Series/{{Undeclared}}'', ''Series/{{Action}}'', ''That '80s Show'', ''Series/{{Wonderfalls}}'', ''{{Fastlane}}'', ''Series/AndyRichterControlsTheUniverse'', ''Series/{{Skin}}'', ''Girls Club'', ''CrackingUp'', ''Series/ThePitts'', ''Series/{{Firefly}}'', ''Get Real'', ''Freaky Links'', ''Wanda at Large'', ''Costello'', ''Series/TheLoneGunmen'', ''A Minute with Stan Hooper'', ''Normal Ohio'', ''Pasadena'', ''Series/HarshRealm'', ''Series/KeenEddie'', ''Series/TheStreet'', ''American Embassy'', ''Cedric the Entertainer'', ''Series/TheTick'', ''{{Louie}}'', and ''GregTheBunny''.\\

->''Once I beat you, [[NoFourthWall your show]] will be cancelled faster than you can say "created by JossWhedon"!

'''Peter:''' Well, unfortunately, Lois, there's just no more room on the schedule. We just gotta accept the fact that FOX has to make room for terrific shows like ''Series/DarkAngel'', ''Series/{{Titus}}'', ''Series/{{Undeclared}}'', ''Series/{{Action}}'', ''That '80s Show'', ''Series/{{Wonderfalls}}'', ''{{Fastlane}}'', ''Series/AndyRichterControlsTheUniverse'', ''Series/{{Skin}}'', ''Girls Club'', ''CrackingUp'', ''Series/ThePitts'', ''Series/{{Firefly}}'', ''Get Real'', ''Freaky Links'', ''Wanda at Large'', ''Costello'', ''Series/TheLoneGunmen'', ''A Minute with Stan Hooper'', ''Normal Ohio'', ''Pasadena'', ''Series/HarshRealm'', ''Series/KeenEddie'', ''Series/TheStreet'', ''American Embassy'', ''Cedric the Entertainer'', ''Series/TheTick'', ''Series/{{Louie}}'', and ''GregTheBunny''.\\

-->---'''ConanOBrien'''

-->--''[=xxBirdMadGirlxx=] on [[{{Fark}} Fark.com]]''

-->--'''{{Freakazoid}}'''

'''Peter:''' Well, unfortunately, Lois, there's just no more room on the schedule. We just gotta accept the fact that FOX has to make room for terrific shows like ''DarkAngel'', ''{{Titus}}'', ''Undeclared'', ''Action'', ''That '80s Show'', ''{{Wonderfalls}}'', Fast Lane, ''Andy Richter Controls The Universe'', Skin, Girls Club, Cracking Up, The Pitts, ''Series/{{Firefly}}'', Get Real, ''Freaky Links'', ''Wanda at Large'', ''Costello'', ''TheLoneGunmen'', ''A Minute with Stan Hooper'', ''Normal Ohio'', ''Pasadena'', ''Harsh Realm'', ''Keen Eddie'', ''The Street'', ''American Embassy'', ''Cedric the Entertainer'', ''TheTick'', ''Louie'', and ''Greg The Bunny''.\\

->'''Lothar''': Personally I think JossWhedon screwed up the pitch.

-->--''ExterminatusNow'', on [[http://exterminatusnow.co.uk/2008-03-29/comic/non-storyline/randoms/the-prefix-space-always-heightens-a-word/ Firefly]].

-->-- CrayonShinChan

-->--'''[[TheLAComplex Raquel Westbrook]]'''

-->--'''Melvin''', ''Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged Series''

'''Peter:''' Well, unfortunately, Lois, there's just no more room on the schedule. We just gotta accept the fact that FOX has to make room for terrific shows like ''DarkAngel'', ''{{Titus}}'', ''Undeclared'', ''Action'', ''That '80s Show'', ''{{Wonderfalls}}'', Fast Lane, ''Andy Richter Controls The Universe'', Skin, Girls Club, Cracking Up, The Pitts, ''{{Firefly}}'', Get Real, ''Freaky Links'', ''Wanda at Large'', ''Costello'', ''TheLoneGunmen'', ''A Minute with Stan Hooper'', ''Normal Ohio'', ''Pasadena'', ''Harsh Realm'', ''Keen Eddie'', ''The Street'', ''American Embassy'', ''Cedric the Entertainer'', ''TheTick'', ''Louie'', and ''Greg The Bunny''.\\

'''Peter:''' Well I suppose if ''all those shows'' go down the tubes, [[CueTheFlyingPigs we might have a shot.]]
-->--''FamilyGuy''

->'''TV Manager:''' [[AdultSwim 2 AM, Saturdays]]?

-->--'''[[Raquel Westbrook The LA Complex]]'''

-->---'''[=~Conan O'Brien~=]'''

'''Peter:''' Well, unfortunately, Lois, there's just no more room on the schedule. We just gotta accept the fact that FOX has to make room for terrific shows like ''DarkAngel'', ''{{Titus}}'', ''Undeclared'', ''Action'', ''That '80s Show'', ''{{Wonderfalls}}'', Fast Lane, ''Andy Richter Controls The Universe'', Skin, Girls Club, Cracking Up, The Pitts, ''{{Firefly}}'', Get Real, ''Freaky Links'', ''Wanda at Large'', ''Costello'', ''TheLoneGunmen'', ''A Minute with Stan Hooper'', ''Normal Ohio'', ''Pasadena'', ''Harsh Realm'', ''Keen Eddy'', ''The Street'', ''American Embassy'', ''Cedric the Entertainer'', ''TheTick'', ''Louie'', and ''Greg The Bunny''.\\

-->'''[=~Conan O'Brien~=]'''

-->---'''Melvin''', ''Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged Series''

->'''Peter Griffin:''' Everybody, I've got bad news. We've been canceled.\\
'''Lois Griffin:''' Oh no! Peter, How could they do that?\\
'''Peter:''' Well, unfortunately, Lois, there's just no more room on the schedule. We just gotta accept the fact that FOX has to make room for terrific shows like ''DarkAngel'', ''{{Titus}}'', ''Undeclared'', ''Action'', ''That '80s Show'', ''{{Wonderfalls}}'', Fast Lane, ''Andy Richter Controls The Universe'', Skin, Girls Club, Cracking Up, The Pitts, ''{{Firefly}}'', Get Real, ''Freaky Links'', ''Wanda at Large'', ''Costello'', ''TheLoneGunmen'', ''A Minute with Stan Hooper'', ''Normal Ohio'', ''Pasadena'', ''Harsh Realm'', ''Keen Eddy'', ''The Street'', ''American Embassy'', ''Cedric the Entertainer'', ''TheTick'', ''Louie'', and ''Greg The Bunny''.\\
'''Lois:''' Is there no hope?\\
'''Peter:''' Well I suppose if ''all those shows'' go down the tubes, [[CueTheFlyingPigs we might have a shot.]]
-->--''FamilyGuy''

<<|QuotesWiki|>>

'''Peter:''' Well, unfortunately, there's just no more room on the schedule. We just gotta accept the fact that FOX has to make room for terrific shows like ''DarkAngel'', ''{{Titus}}'', ''Undeclared'', ''Action'', ''That '80s Show'', ''{{Wonderfalls}}'', Fast Lane, ''Andy Richter Controls The Universe'', Skin, Girls Club, Cracking Up, The Pitts, ''{{Firefly}}'', Get Real, ''Freaky Links'', ''Wanda at Large'', ''Costello'', ''TheLoneGunmen'', ''A Minute with Stan Hooper'', ''Normal Ohio'', ''Pasadena'', ''Harsh Realm'', ''Keen Eddy'', ''The Street'', ''American Embassy'', ''Cedric the Entertainer'', ''TheTick'', ''Louie'', and ''Greg The Bunny''.\\

'''Peter:''' Well I suppose if ''all those shows'' go down the tubes, we might have a shot.