History Quotes / MilesGloriosus

9th Nov '15 6:26:59 PM nombretomado
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->I enlisted in the army of the United States at seventeen; went to the Pacific; did nothing useful--I was just there, as [[RichardNixon Nixon]] used to say, WHEN THE BOMBS WERE FALLING. But, actually, the bombs were not falling on either of us: he was a naval officer making a fortune playing poker...

to:

->I enlisted in the army of the United States at seventeen; went to the Pacific; did nothing useful--I was just there, as [[RichardNixon [[UsefulNotes/RichardNixon Nixon]] used to say, WHEN THE BOMBS WERE FALLING. But, actually, the bombs were not falling on either of us: he was a naval officer making a fortune playing poker...
21st Oct '15 6:32:17 AM hamonrye
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-->--"Nayv SEAL" Copypasta

to:

-->--"Nayv -->--"Navy SEAL" Copypasta
21st Oct '15 6:32:04 AM hamonrye
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->''[-What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in [[RougeAnglesOfStin gorilla warfare]] and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.-]''

to:

->''[-What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in [[RougeAnglesOfStin [[RougeAnglesOfSatin gorilla warfare]] and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.-]''
21st Oct '15 6:31:21 AM hamonrye
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->''"I'm so brave, too bad I'm a baby."''
-->-- '''Music/BarenakedLadies''', "Falling for the First Time"

->[''after Kim has flown her into the air on a jetpack'']\\
'''Adrena Lynn''': Um, I do extreme stunts for a living. You think I'm afraid of heights?\\
'''Kim''': You ''fake'' extreme stunts! Let the world see how brave you are when there's ''real'' danger.\\
[''Kim does several loop-de-loops, and Adrena Lynn starts to lose her cool'']\\
'''Kim''': Not so extreme after all now, are you? [''does more loops''] ''Are'' you?!\\
'''Adrena Lynn''': N-no!
-->--''WesternAnimation/KimPossible'', "All the News"

to:

->''"I'm so brave, too bad I'm a baby."''
-->-- '''Music/BarenakedLadies''', "Falling for the First Time"

->[''after Kim has flown her into the air on a jetpack'']\\
'''Adrena Lynn''': Um, I do extreme stunts for a living. You think I'm afraid of heights?\\
'''Kim''': You ''fake'' extreme stunts! Let the world see how brave you are when there's ''real'' danger.\\
[''Kim does several loop-de-loops, and Adrena Lynn starts to lose her cool'']\\
'''Kim''': Not so extreme after all now, are you? [''does more loops''] ''Are'' you?!\\
'''Adrena Lynn''': N-no!
-->--''WesternAnimation/KimPossible'', "All the News"
[[AC:Film -- Live-Action]]



->''"I never tried to swim to Fort Sumter. Thomas probably knows [[TallTale that I made it up]], but he wrote about it anyway because he understands the greater truth: Imagination is its own form of courage."''
-->--'''Frank Underwood''', ''Series/HouseOfCardsUS''

->''There once was a hero named Ragnar the Red, who came riding to Whiterun from ole Rorikstead!\\
And the braggart did swagger and brandish his blade, as he told of bold battles and gold he had made!\\
But then he went quiet, did Ragnar the Red, when he met the shieldmaiden Matilda who said...\\
"Oh, you talk and you lie and you drink all our mead! Now I think it's high time that you lie down and bleed!"\\
And so then came the clashing and slashing of steel, as the brave lass Matilda charged in full of zeal!\\
And the braggart named Ragnar was boastful no moooooree... when his ugly red head rolled around on the floor!''
-->--'''"Ragnar the Red"''', ''VideoGame/TheElderScrollsVSkyrim''

to:

->''"I never tried to swim to Fort Sumter. Thomas probably knows [[TallTale that I made it up]], but he wrote about it anyway because he understands the greater truth: Imagination is its own form of courage."''
-->--'''Frank Underwood''', ''Series/HouseOfCardsUS''

->''There once was a hero named Ragnar the Red, who came riding to Whiterun from ole Rorikstead!\\
And the braggart did swagger and brandish his blade, as he told of bold battles and gold he had made!\\
But then he went quiet, did Ragnar the Red, when he met the shieldmaiden Matilda who said...\\
"Oh, you talk and you lie and you drink all our mead! Now I think it's high time that you lie down and bleed!"\\
And so then came the clashing and slashing of steel, as the brave lass Matilda charged in full of zeal!\\
And the braggart named Ragnar was boastful no moooooree... when his ugly red head rolled around on the floor!''
-->--'''"Ragnar the Red"''', ''VideoGame/TheElderScrollsVSkyrim''
[[AC:Literature]]



->'''Rainbow Dash:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa. Magic's got nothing to do with it. Trixie's just a loudmouth.\\
'''Rarity:''' ''Most'' unpleasant.\\
'''Applejack:''' All hat and no cattle.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'', "Boast Busters"

->Captain's log, stardate, the year of the tiger. The battle has been bravely fought, and the suffering of our troops beyond measure. But the alien is invulnerable, and our defeat inevitable. That much is obvious, even from my remote command post here at the Times Square Applebee's.
-->-- '''Zapp Brannigan''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}''

->And so, the Coon had returned with the dark lord {{Cthulhu|Mythos}}! Upon seeing Cthulhu in person, Mintberry Crunch heroically dashed off, to, to save the day! With Minty coolness he hurried back home!... and heroically watched ''Series/JudgeJudy'', knowing that his superhero friends were probably just fine without him!
-->--'''Mintberry Crunch''', ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark''

!!!RealLife
->I enlisted in the army of the United States at seventeen; went to the Pacific; did nothing useful--I was just there, as [[RichardNixon Nixon]] used to say, WHEN THE BOMBS WERE FALLING. But, actually, the bombs were not falling on either of us: he was a naval officer making a fortune playing poker...
-->--'''Creator/GoreVidal''', ''Vanity Fair'', 1999

->[[Creator/JeanClaudeVanDamme Van Damme]] was there with Seagal, [[Creator/BruceWillis Willis]], [[Creator/ArnoldSchwarzenegger Schwarzenegger]], Shaquille O Neal, Don Johnson and {{Music/Madonna}}, it was a heck of a party. Van Damme was tired of Seagal saying he could kick his ass and went right up to him and offered him the chance to step outside so he could wipe the floor with him, or should I say wipe the backyard with him. Seagal [[IHaveToIronMyDog made some excuse and left]]. His destination was some Ocean Drive nightclub in Miami. Van Damme, who was completely berserk, tracked him down and again offered him a fight, and again Seagal [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere pulled a Houdini.]]
-->--'''Creator/SylvesterStallone''' on Creator/StevenSeagal

->I don’t know that much about life, but I do know that it’s probably not a good idea to threaten to beat up Mexico’s biggest drug lord who just escaped out of prison and is responsible for thousands of murders. But since Creator/DonaldTrump’s brain checked out of his head a long time ago, he threatened to beat up a Mexican drug lord on Twitter...And if you need a quick recap of this post, here you go:

to:

->'''Rainbow Dash:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa. Magic's got nothing [[AC:Music]]

->''"I'm so brave, too bad I'm a baby."''
-->-- '''Music/BarenakedLadies''', "Falling for the First Time"

[[AC:Live-Action TV]]

->''"I never tried
to do with it. Trixie's just swim to Fort Sumter. Thomas probably knows [[TallTale that I made it up]], but he wrote about it anyway because he understands the greater truth: Imagination is its own form of courage."''
-->--'''Frank Underwood''', ''Series/HouseOfCardsUS''

[[AC:Video Games]]

->''There once was
a loudmouth.hero named Ragnar the Red, who came riding to Whiterun from ole Rorikstead!\\
And the braggart did swagger and brandish his blade, as he told of bold battles and gold he had made!\\
But then he went quiet, did Ragnar the Red, when he met the shieldmaiden Matilda who said...
\\
'''Rarity:''' ''Most'' unpleasant.\\
'''Applejack:''' All hat
"Oh, you talk and no cattle.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'', "Boast Busters"

->Captain's log, stardate, the year of the tiger. The battle has been bravely fought,
you lie and the suffering of you drink all our troops beyond measure. But the alien is invulnerable, and our defeat inevitable. That much is obvious, even from my remote command post here at the Times Square Applebee's.
-->-- '''Zapp Brannigan''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}''

->And so, the Coon had returned with the dark lord {{Cthulhu|Mythos}}! Upon seeing Cthulhu in person, Mintberry Crunch heroically dashed off, to, to save the day! With Minty coolness he hurried back home!... and heroically watched ''Series/JudgeJudy'', knowing
mead! Now I think it's high time that his superhero friends were probably just fine without him!
-->--'''Mintberry Crunch''', ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark''

!!!RealLife
->I enlisted in the army of the United States at seventeen; went to the Pacific; did nothing useful--I was just there, as [[RichardNixon Nixon]] used to say, WHEN THE BOMBS WERE FALLING. But, actually, the bombs were not falling on either of us: he was a naval officer making a fortune playing poker...
-->--'''Creator/GoreVidal''', ''Vanity Fair'', 1999

->[[Creator/JeanClaudeVanDamme Van Damme]] was there with Seagal, [[Creator/BruceWillis Willis]], [[Creator/ArnoldSchwarzenegger Schwarzenegger]], Shaquille O Neal, Don Johnson and {{Music/Madonna}}, it was a heck of a party. Van Damme was tired of Seagal saying he could kick his ass and went right up to him and offered him the chance to step outside so he could wipe the floor with him, or should I say wipe the backyard with him. Seagal [[IHaveToIronMyDog made some excuse and left]]. His destination was some Ocean Drive nightclub in Miami. Van Damme, who was completely berserk, tracked him
you lie down and again offered him a fight, bleed!"\\
And so then came the clashing
and again Seagal [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere pulled a Houdini.]]
-->--'''Creator/SylvesterStallone''' on Creator/StevenSeagal

->I don’t know that much about life, but I do know that it’s probably not a good idea to threaten to beat up Mexico’s biggest drug lord who just escaped out
slashing of prison and is responsible for thousands steel, as the brave lass Matilda charged in full of murders. But since Creator/DonaldTrump’s brain checked out of zeal!\\
And the braggart named Ragnar was boastful no moooooree... when
his ugly red head a long time ago, he threatened to beat up a Mexican drug lord rolled around on Twitter...And if you need a quick recap of this post, here you go:
the floor!''
-->--'''"Ragnar the Red"''', ''VideoGame/TheElderScrollsVSkyrim''

[[AC:Web Original]]



'''Trump''': “MOMMY!”\\\

to:

'''Trump''': “MOMMY!”\\\“[[BullyingADragon MOMMY!]]”\\\



->''[-What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in [[RougeAnglesOfStin gorilla warfare]] and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.-]''
-->--"Nayv SEAL" Copypasta



-->--'''[[http://deadspin.com/not-all-hot-takes-are-stupid-1657804265 Drew Magary]]''', "Not All Hot Takes Are Stupid!"

->''"A divine vessel of peace, Steven Seagal [[{{Hypocrite}} carries a concealed weapon]] at all times, and supposedly had a custom tuxedo made for the Academy Awards, capable of concealing two guns, in case one of the enemies he'd made as an international man of mystery decided to take him out onstage, mowing down Creator/AngelaLansbury as collateral damage.”''
-->--'''Stuart Millard''', ''Smoke & Mirrors and Steven Seagal''

->''"In 2011 he proclaimed himself a "natural" at "game" (in other words, [[CasanovaWannabe a born pick-up artist]]). Since he also describes himself as a [[AsLongAsItSoundsForeign natural polyglot]], an [[WhatTheFuAreYouDoing expert martial artist]], a [[AttentionWhore natural small-unit leader]], a [[DreadfulMusician natural flutist]] and "a natural witch, albeit of a kind uncommon in this century," a [[CrazySurvivalist natural marksman]] who can "think like a warrior" and break safety rules which "civilians" blindly follow, and speaks with confidence about historical linguistics perhaps this claim should not be taken too seriously."''
-->--'''''Wiki/RationalWiki''''' on natural computer hacker Eric S. Raymond

to:

-->--'''[[http://deadspin.com/not-all-hot-takes-are-stupid-1657804265 Drew Magary]]''', "Not All Hot Takes Are Stupid!"

->''"A divine vessel of peace, Steven Seagal [[{{Hypocrite}} carries a concealed weapon]] at all times, and supposedly had a custom tuxedo made for the Academy Awards, capable of concealing two guns, in case one of the enemies he'd made as an international man of mystery decided to take him out onstage, mowing down Creator/AngelaLansbury as collateral damage.”''
-->--'''Stuart Millard''', ''Smoke & Mirrors and Steven Seagal''

Magary]]'''

->''"In 2011 he proclaimed himself a "natural" at "game" (in other words, [[CasanovaWannabe a born pick-up artist]]). Since he also describes himself as a [[AsLongAsItSoundsForeign natural polyglot]], an [[WhatTheFuAreYouDoing expert martial artist]], a [[AttentionWhore [[SmallNameBigEgo natural small-unit leader]], a [[DreadfulMusician natural flutist]] and "a natural witch, albeit of a kind uncommon in this century," a [[CrazySurvivalist natural marksman]] who can "think like a warrior" and break safety rules which "civilians" blindly follow, and speaks with confidence about historical linguistics perhaps this claim should not be taken too seriously."''
-->--'''''Wiki/RationalWiki''''' on natural ''natural'' computer hacker Eric S. Raymond


Added DiffLines:


[[AC:Western Animation]]

->Captain's log. Stardate: the year of the tiger. The battle has been bravely fought, and the suffering of our troops beyond measure. But the alien is invulnerable, and our defeat inevitable. That much is obvious, even from my remote command post here [[ArmchairMilitary at the Times Square Applebee's.]]
-->-- '''Zapp Brannigan''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}''

->And so, the Coon had returned with the dark lord {{Cthulhu|Mythos}}! Upon seeing Cthulhu in person, Mintberry Crunch heroically dashed off, to, to save the day! With Minty coolness he hurried back home!... and heroically watched ''Series/JudgeJudy'', knowing that his superhero friends were probably just fine without him!
-->--'''Mintberry Crunch''', ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark''

->[''after Kim has flown her into the air on a jetpack'']\\
'''Adrena Lynn''': Um, I do extreme stunts for a living. You think I'm afraid of heights?\\
'''Kim''': You ''fake'' extreme stunts! Let the world see how brave you are when there's ''real'' danger.\\
[''Kim does several loop-de-loops, and Adrena Lynn starts to lose her cool'']\\
'''Kim''': Not so extreme after all now, are you? [''does more loops''] ''Are'' you?!\\
'''Adrena Lynn''': N-no!
-->--''WesternAnimation/KimPossible'', "All the News"

->'''Rainbow Dash:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa. Magic's got nothing to do with it. Trixie's just a loudmouth.\\
'''Rarity:''' ''Most'' unpleasant.\\
'''Applejack:''' All hat and no cattle.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'', "Boast Busters"

[[AC:RealLife]]

->''"A divine vessel of peace, Steven Seagal [[{{Hypocrite}} carries a concealed weapon]] at all times, and supposedly had a custom tuxedo made for the Academy Awards, capable of concealing two guns, in case one of the enemies he'd made as an international man of mystery decided to take him out onstage, mowing down Creator/AngelaLansbury as collateral damage.”''
-->--'''Stuart Millard''', ''Smoke & Mirrors and Steven Seagal''

->I enlisted in the army of the United States at seventeen; went to the Pacific; did nothing useful--I was just there, as [[RichardNixon Nixon]] used to say, WHEN THE BOMBS WERE FALLING. But, actually, the bombs were not falling on either of us: he was a naval officer making a fortune playing poker...
-->--'''Creator/GoreVidal''', ''Vanity Fair'', 1999

->[[Creator/JeanClaudeVanDamme Van Damme]] was there with Seagal, [[Creator/BruceWillis Willis]], [[Creator/ArnoldSchwarzenegger Schwarzenegger]], Shaquille O Neal, Don Johnson and {{Music/Madonna}}, it was a heck of a party. Van Damme was tired of Seagal saying he could kick his ass and went right up to him and offered him the chance to step outside so he could wipe the floor with him, or should I say wipe the backyard with him. Seagal [[IHaveToIronMyDog made some excuse and left]]. His destination was some Ocean Drive nightclub in Miami. Van Damme, who was completely berserk, tracked him down and again offered him a fight, and again Seagal [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere pulled a Houdini.]]
-->--'''Creator/SylvesterStallone''' on Creator/StevenSeagal
9th Oct '15 1:00:21 PM Nintendoman01
Is there an issue? Send a Message


[''Kim does several loop-de-loops, and Adrena Lynn starts to lose her cool'']//

to:

[''Kim does several loop-de-loops, and Adrena Lynn starts to lose her cool'']//cool'']\\
9th Oct '15 1:00:02 PM Nintendoman01
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

->[''after Kim has flown her into the air on a jetpack'']\\
'''Adrena Lynn''': Um, I do extreme stunts for a living. You think I'm afraid of heights?\\
'''Kim''': You ''fake'' extreme stunts! Let the world see how brave you are when there's ''real'' danger.\\
[''Kim does several loop-de-loops, and Adrena Lynn starts to lose her cool'']//
'''Kim''': Not so extreme after all now, are you? [''does more loops''] ''Are'' you?!\\
'''Adrena Lynn''': N-no!
-->--''WesternAnimation/KimPossible'', "All the News"
6th Aug '15 9:30:51 AM johnnyfog
Is there an issue? Send a Message


->I don’t know that much about life, but I do know that it’s probably not a good idea to threaten to beat up Mexico’s biggest drug lord who just escaped out of prison and is responsible for thousands of murders. But since Creator/DonaldTrump’s brain checked out of his head a long time ago, he threatened to beat up a Mexican drug lord on Twitter...And if you need a quick recap of this post, here you go:\\\

to:

->I don’t know that much about life, but I do know that it’s probably not a good idea to threaten to beat up Mexico’s biggest drug lord who just escaped out of prison and is responsible for thousands of murders. But since Creator/DonaldTrump’s brain checked out of his head a long time ago, he threatened to beat up a Mexican drug lord on Twitter...And if you need a quick recap of this post, here you go:\\\go:
6th Aug '15 9:30:32 AM johnnyfog
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

->I don’t know that much about life, but I do know that it’s probably not a good idea to threaten to beat up Mexico’s biggest drug lord who just escaped out of prison and is responsible for thousands of murders. But since Creator/DonaldTrump’s brain checked out of his head a long time ago, he threatened to beat up a Mexican drug lord on Twitter...And if you need a quick recap of this post, here you go:\\\
->'''Trump to dangerous Mexican drug lord''': “I’m going to kick your ass!”\\
'''Dangerous Mexican drug lord’s son to Trump''': “We’re going to git you for that!”\\
'''Trump''': “MOMMY!”\\\
The end.
-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2015/07/13/donald-trump-screamed-for-the-fbi-after-a-drug-lords-son-threatened-him-on-twitter/ Michael K.]]'''
22nd Jul '15 9:39:53 PM johnnyfog
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

->''"I never tried to swim to Fort Sumter. Thomas probably knows [[TallTale that I made it up]], but he wrote about it anyway because he understands the greater truth: Imagination is its own form of courage."''
-->--'''Frank Underwood''', ''Series/HouseOfCardsUS''
22nd Jul '15 1:22:46 PM johnnyfog
Is there an issue? Send a Message


->A divine vessel of peace, Steven Seagal [[{{Hypocrite}} carries a concealed weapon]] at all times, and supposedly had a custom tuxedo made for the Academy Awards, capable of concealing two guns, in case one of the enemies he'd made as an international man of mystery decided to take him out onstage, mowing down Creator/AngelaLansbury as collateral damage.”''

to:

->A ->''"A divine vessel of peace, Steven Seagal [[{{Hypocrite}} carries a concealed weapon]] at all times, and supposedly had a custom tuxedo made for the Academy Awards, capable of concealing two guns, in case one of the enemies he'd made as an international man of mystery decided to take him out onstage, mowing down Creator/AngelaLansbury as collateral damage.”''
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