History Quotes / Memeticbadass

->If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight!' SunTzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little more about fighting than '''you''' do, pal, because he '''invented it'''! And then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor! Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on Earth. And then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the '''crap''' out of every single one! And from that day forward, any time a bunch of animals are together in one place, it's called a '''[='Tzu'=]'''! (Unless it's a farm.)

-->--'''''WesternAnimation/SouthParkBiggerLongerAndUncut''''', "What Would Brian Botano Do?"

-->--'''Headmaster Albus Dumbledore''', ''FanFic/MyImmortal''

->In ''Film/GroundhogDay'', Bill Murray wonders aloud if he may be a god, and in ''{{Film/Ghostbusters}}'', we learn that if you're asked if you are, you say yes. I'm not saying Bill Murray is a god, but it would be foolish if, in looking into these legends, we didn't consider some more spiritually-minded options. So for now, if anyone asks, let's say ''“maybe.”''\\\
If Bill were a god, he'd be the living embodiment of the Cosmic Joker. Conceived of in the writings of Charles Fort, the Cosmic Joker is the omnipotent higher power responsible for unexplained phenomena, and for those random incidents of fate that leave you aghast and throwing up your hands, all purely for his or her own warped amusement...There's another strong Murray flavour in the Jungian '[[TheTrickster Trickster]]' archetype. The Trickster figure is deeply rooted in the folklore and mythology of every culture; a cosmic jester, a wise fool, a mysterious, mischievous creature, fun-loving and rebellious, and unconstrained by the laws which bound normal men. Sound familiar?
-->--'''Stuart Millard''' on Creator/BillMurray, ''Smoke and Mirrors & Steven Seagal''

-->--'''Chris Sims''' and '''David Uzumeri''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/recap-smallville-finale/ on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Finale")

-->-- '''Music/WeirdAlYankovic''', ''CNR''

-->-- '''''ComicBook/AllStarBatmanAndRobin'''''

->We like to imagine that as soon as [[TheodoreRoosevelt Teddy]] returned to the U.S., he started breeding his own piranhas in an attempt to finally find an animal that could stand up to him in a fight. Like all other such attempts, this was doomed to failure from the start.

-->-- '''[[VideoGame/SuperMarioRPG Geno]]''', after taking out a horde of Zombies in one of the alternate endings to BowsersKingdom episode 666

'''David''': John Glover’s follicles are the true NewGods in the ''Smallville'' Universe. Everything they touch turns to myth.

-->-- '''[[DoctorWho Rory Williams]] [[BlatantLies Facts]] [[http://rorywilliamsfacts.tumblr.com/ Tumblr]]'''

-->--'''''SouthParkBiggerLongerAndUncut''''', "What Would Brian Botano Do?"

-> '''Harry:''' "They were dealing with something far more dangerous than me, Harry Dresden, who's battered old Volkswagon was currently in the city impound. They were dealing with the potential dark lord nightmare warlock they'd been busy fearing since I turned sixteen. They were dealing with the wizard who had faced the Heirs of Kemmler riding a zombie dinosaur, and emerged victorious from a fight that had flattened Morgan and Captain Luccio before they had even reached it. They were dealing with the man who had dropped a challenge to the entire Senior Council, and who had then actually showed, [[ItMakesSenseInContext apparently willing to fight - on the shores of an entirely too creepy island in the middle of a freshwater sea]]."
-->-- ''Literature/TheDresdenFiles''

->''What's the difference between Commander Shepard and a [[ProudWarriorRaceGuy krogan]]? One is an unstoppable juggernaut of headbutting destruction and the other has [[BizarreAlienBiology four testicles]].''
-->-- '''Samantha Traynor''', ''VideoGame/MassEffect3''

->"''I’ve taken enough grief about calling my goddamn car the goddamn Batmobile. '''I’m the goddamn Batman''' and I can call my goddamn car whatever the hell I want to call it.''"

->''"What have you heard? That bad guys would rather confess than be interrogated by him? That his steely gaze can cool a room by five degrees? That he can only be killed by a silver bullet, like a werewolf? They're all true, except for the silver bullet part. Might give him indigestion or heartburn, but I don't think it'd kill him. Any other questions?"''

->''"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"''

->''"'If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight!' SunTzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little more about fighting than '''you''' do, pal, because he '''invented it'''! And then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor! Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on Earth. And then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the '''crap''' out of every single one! And from that day forward, any time a bunch of animals are together in one place, it's called a '''[='Tzu'=]'''!"''\\
''[[spoiler:"Unless it's a farm."]]''

->''"Pootie Tang will draw you a picture of how he gonna kick your ass, then mail it to you ten days in advance. The picture gets there right? You're goin', "What the hell is this?" and then Pootie Tang knocks on your door, promptly kicks your ass and you still won't know what happened to you!"''

-> ''[Upon seeing the credit "Construction Coordinator: Rando Schmook"]''\\
'''Mike Nelson:''' ''[snirks]'' It's the Amazing RANDO!\\
'''Tom Servo:''' Watch Rando the Great construct sets with his very ''mind!''\\
'''Crow T. Robot:''' ''[as Rando]'' Now, we've never met before, have we?
-->--''Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000TheMovie''

->''"We like to imagine that as soon as [[TheodoreRoosevelt Teddy]] returned to the U.S., he started breeding his own piranhas in an attempt to finally find an animal that could stand up to him in a fight. Like all other such attempts, this was doomed to failure from the start."''

->'''Comment:''' Give JackieChan a weapon - any weapon - and the fight just becomes unfair.\\

->''"That's right motherfuckers! Now you '''KNOW''' why I'm awesome!" [Geno assumes BadassArmfold]''

->''"This man... the essence of the sun! Strength... spirit... he surpasses all others!"''
-->-- '''Lordgenome''', upon facing [[Anime/{{Daitarn3}} Banjou Haran]] in combat during VideoGame/{{Super Robot Wars Z}}2: Hakai-Hen.

->''"It's just there's so many legends about that guy, I mean, I once heard he took on an entire Covenant battalion by himself. And rumor has it, he can't be killed. And my friend's cousin's neighbor told me he has laser eyes."''
-->-- '''Church''', describing [[Franchise/{{Halo}} Sergeant Johnson]], ''Machinima/RedVsBlue''

-> ''Film/JamesBond has Rory Williams on speed dial.''

->'''Corey:''' And where might we find this Lucas?
->'''NC:''' Within the twilight of a full moon. When the sky is dark and fire of stars PIERCES through the night! THAT is where you will find... Lucas.

->'''Soldier 1:''' Who was that?
->'''Soldier 2:''' Brock fuckin' Samson.
->'''Soldier 1:''' No way! Dibs on his cigarette butt!

->''"'If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight!' SunTzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little more about fighting than '''you''' do, pal, because he '''invented it'''! And then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor! Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on Earth. And then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the '''crap''' out of every single one! And from that day forward, any time a bunch of animals are together in one place, it's called a '''[='Tzu'=]'''!"''
->''[[spoiler:"Unless it's a farm."]]''

->But back at the cave, Batman stopped everyone from arguing with one word.
->Because Batman is... Batman.

->'''slowbeef:''' What the hell was that?
->'''Diabetus:''' I don't know, but Billy kicks ass.
->'''slowbeef:''' It's hard not to like Billy.

->'''Comment:''' Give JackieChan a weapon - any weapon - and the fight just becomes unfair.
->'''Response:''' It'd be unfair in the first place. YOU'RE FIGHTING AGAINST JACKIE FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

[[JimCroce 'Cause you can spit in the wind or tug on Superman's cape]]\\

-->-- '''[[Music/WeirdAlYankovic "Weird Al" Yankovic]]''', ''CNR''

-->-- '''''AllStarBatmanAndRobin'''''

-> '''throwaawy:''' A meteor didn't cause the dinosaurs to go extinct. They saw the ginormous bugs they were living with and simply gave up on life, knowing [[TheBeastmaster Skitter]] was coming soon*. [[BuffySpeak (*note: dinosaurs sense of the passage of time very poorly)]]

->''"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!"''

-->--'''Headmaster Albus Dumbledore'', ''FanFic/MyImmortal''

->"''I’ve taken enough grief about calling my goddamn car the goddamn Batmobile. '''I’m the goddamn Batman''' and I can call my goddamn car whatever the hell I want to call it.''"
-->-- '''Batman'''

->''"What have you heard? That bad guys would rather confess than be interrogated by him? That his steely gaze can cool a room by five degrees? That he can only be killed by a silver bullet, like a werewolf? They're all true, except for the silver bullet part. Might give him indigestion or heartburn, but I don't think it'd kill him. Any other questions?"''
-->-- '''Tony [=DiNozzo=]''' on '''Gibbs''', ''Series/{{NCIS}}''

->Charles Nelson Reilly figured out cold fusion\\

But Lord knows you just don't mess around with CNR!

->'''slowbeef:''' What the hell was that?
->'''Diabetus:''' I don't know, but Billy kicks ass.
->'''slowbeef:''' It's hard not to like Billy.
-->-- '''WebVideo/{{Retsupurae}}''' on LetsPlay/BillyMC in-between [[{{MST}} sessions of mocking him]].

->''"We like to imagine that as soon as [[TheodoreRoosevelt Teddy]] returned to the U.S., he started breeding his own piranhas in an attempt to finally find an animal that could stand up to him in a fight. Like all other such attempts, this was doomed to failure from the start."''
-->-- '''Rohan Ramakrishnan''', ''Website/{{Cracked}}'', "The 6 Most Frequently Quoted Bullshit Animal Facts"

->So what would Brian Boitano do\\
If he were here today,\\
I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two,\\
That's what Brian Boitano'd do.
-->-- ''[[WesternAnimation/SouthParkBiggerLongerAndUncut South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut]]'', "What Would Brian Boitano Do?"

->'''Soldier 1:''' Who was that?
->'''Soldier 2:''' Brock fuckin' Samson.
->'''Soldier 1:''' No way! Dibs on his cigarette butt!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheVentureBrothers'', "Home Insecurity"

->But back at the cave, Batman stopped everyone from arguing with one word.
->Because Batman is... Batman.
-->-- WesternAnimation/YoungJustice

-> '''Harry:''' "They were dealing with something far more dangerous than me, Harry Dresden, who's battered old Volkswagon was currently in the city impound. They were dealing with the potential dark lord nightmare warlock they'd been busy fearing since I turned sixteen. They were dealing with the wizard who had faced the Heirs of Kemmler riding a zombie dinosaur, and emerged victorious from a fight that had flattened Morgan and Captain Luccio before they had even reached it. They were dealing with the man who had dropped a challenge to the entire Senior Council, and who had then actually showed, [[ItMakesSenseInContext apparently willing to fight - on the shores of an entirely too creepy island in the middle of a freshwater sea]]."
-->-- ''Literature/TheDresdenFiles''

-> ''[Upon seeing the credit "Construction Coordinator: Rando Schmook"]''\\
'''Mike Nelson:''' ''[snirks]'' It's the Amazing RANDO!\\
'''Tom Servo:''' Watch Rando the Great construct sets with his very ''mind!''\\
'''Crow T. Robot:''' ''[as Rando]'' Now, we've never met before, have we?
-->--''Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000TheMovie''

-->--'''Batman'''

-->--'''Tony [=DiNozzo=]''' on '''Gibbs''', ''Series/{{NCIS}}''

-->-- [[Music/WeirdAlYankovic "Weird Al" Yankovic]], ''CNR''

-> ''JamesBond has Rory Williams on speed dial.''

-->-- YoungJustice

-> -->'''throwaawy:''' A meteor didn't cause the dinosaurs to go extinct. They saw the ginormous bugs they were living with and simply gave up on life, knowing [[TheBeastmaster Skitter]] was coming soon*. [[BuffySpeak (*note: dinosaurs sense of the passage of time very poorly)]]

-> '''Harry:''' "They were dealing with something far more dangerous than me, Harry Dresden, who's battered old Volkswagon was currently in the city impound. They were dealing with the potential dark lord nightmare warlock they'd been busy fearing since I turned sixteen. They were dealing with the wizard who had faced the Heirs of Kemmler riding a zombie dinosaur, and emerged victorious from a fight that had flattened Morgan and Captain Luccio before they had even reached it. They were dealing with the man who had dropped a challenge to the entire Senior Council, and who had then actually showed, apparently willing to fight - on the shores of an entirely too creepy island in the middle of a freshwater sea."

'Cause you can spit in the wind or tug on Superman's cape\\