History Quotes / Max0rIncorrectSummariesNToZ

'''Méndez:''' [[green: God is testing me.]]

'''Volgin:''' Fuck you, barrel. You're the worst LetsPlay/PewDiePie character.\\

'''[=Max0r=]:''' Oh shit it's this guy again. ([[red: Gabrielish Screaming]]) I'm gonna send you ''[[red: BACK TO GOD]]''. Hey, can you make change for this? (V1 hits him with a Ricoshot before finishing him off)\\

'''[=Max0r=]:''' Hey guys, [=Max0r=] here, back from the Secret Government Beef Mines™. I was trying to drink the airport [[{{Corpsing}} jungle juice]], and today we're going to be fighting the only boss entirely accessible in ''VideoGame/GarrysMod''. This was a deliberate choice by the publishers to include [[=DLC=]]. Isn't nature just [[{{Spoonerism}} jamestic]][[red:???]] Minos Prime is [[{{Understatement}} not an easy boss]]. You're going to be familiar with all of his attacks because [[CallingYourAttacks he will not stop screaming them]]. Moves such as "[[cinnamon: Judgment]]," "[[blue: Die]]," "[[purple: Thy end is NOW]]," "[[VideoGame/GenshinImpact I will have Order.]]" These attacks will bookend your obituary, and [[FlashStep they'll do it really fucking fast.]] And yes, that is why the video looks really fucking bad. This game is no longer a first person shooter. It's [[VideoGame/EldenRing Malenia]], Blade of Michelin.\\

'''Minos Prime:''' [[EvilLaugh [The Divine Comedy] ]], [[{{Superboss}} time to learn]].\\
'''[=Max0r=]:''' This is the first boss ever designed to be fought in your peripheral vision. I played this at grandpa's funeral and he started beating the shit out of a toaster. P-Ranking the game wasn't a test, [[ThisIsGonnaSuck it was]] a [[BrutalBonusLevel warning]]. So if I were to give advice, it would be to listen. This little shit is hard, and you're going to die a little bit. However, there isn't a single move you can't counter. Not to mention he announces them -- quite loudly. (''V1 gets pummeled hard by Minos Prime'')[[note]][[[DeathCryEcho Tyler1 scream]]][[/note]] Jesus Christ. So if he seems difficult, that is a skill issue, one that makes your camera look like it's in the washing machine. Ultimately, Minos is a noble soul, and he's going to give you a [[HonorableWarriorsDeath noble death]]. What you do in between is up to you. But there was a crime I was willing to forgive, it would be public embezzlement.[[note]]Minos embezzling the entire budget of Night City in the form of Bisexual lighting so he can afford his Percs[[/note]] In fact, it isn't a crime at all, it's an obligation. So, hows about I, uh, help him with his [[red: investments]]?\\

'''Minos Prime:''' [[HaHaHaNo [Total Comedy Island] ]], [[red:OF COURSE NOT]]. You can pry my prescription from my cold dead hands, BITCH. I'LL TAKE MY CRYPTO [[red:TO THE AFTERLIFE IF I HAVE TO-]]

->Hey guys, welcome back to... (''V1 sees a pyramid in the distance'') [[ShiftingSandLand Egypt]]. We're here to find fucking [[Manga/JoJosBizarreAdventureStardustCrusaders DIO]]. This level represents a great increase in need since apparently the Sun exists. [[BasementDweller This is news to me]]. We're here with the Stardust Crusaders to uncover the secret past of the Bass Pro Shops pyramid. And one of those secrets looks kind of, uh... (''V1 meets the first Virtue of the game'') What is it doing? Looks kinda bright. I want to introduce you to [[SarcasmMode my favorite enemy]], the light of Allah. Your location is irrelevant, and so is theirs. No matter where you are, no matter what you're doing, it will find you and it give you [[EyeScream Discord Light Theme]]. Oh my god, it's a sex offender summoning circle. Do not t... tell Twitter. (V1 sees a Dual Wield powerup) Hang on, I think this is... (''V1 picks it up and now has two Marksman guns'')[[note]][[WebAnimation/PhaseConnect Pipkin Pippa's voice:]]'''''I'M GONNA FUCKING SHOOT UP A WAL-MAAAAART!!!'''''[[/note]] Holy shit it is. This is the best game ever made. I fucking love Coinstar.

->Hey guys, welcome back to... (''V1 sees a pyramid in the distance'') [[ShiftingSandLand Egypt]]. We're here to find fucking [[Manga/JoJosBizarreAdventureStardustCrusaders DIO]]. This level represents a great increase in need since apparently the Sun exists. [[BasementDweller This is news to me]]. We're here with the Stardust Crusaders to uncover the secret past of the Bass Pro Shops pyramid. And one of those secrets looks kind of, uh... (''V1 meets the first Virtue of the game'') What is it doing? Looks kinda bright. I want to introduce you to [[SarcasmMode my favorite enemy]], the light of Allah. Your location is irrelevant, and so is theirs. No matter where you are, what you're doing, it will find you and give you [[EyeScream Discord Light Theme]]. Oh my god, it's a sex offender summoning circle. Do not t... tell Twitter. (V1 sees a Dual Wield powerup) Hang on, I think this is... (''V1 picks it up and now has two Marksman guns'')[[note]][[WebAnimation/PhaseConnect Pipkin Pippa's voice:]]'''''I'M GONNA FUCKING SHOOT UP A WAL-MAAAAART!!!'''''[[/note]] Holy shit it is. This is the best game ever made. I fucking love Coinstar.

[[/folder]]

->Hey guys, welcome back to... (''V1 sees a pyramid in the distance'') [[ShiftingSandLand Egypt]]. We're here to find fucking [[Manga/JoJosBizarreAdventureStardustCrusaders DIO]]. This level represents a great increase in need since apparently the Sun exists. [[BasementDweller This is news to me]]. We're here with the Stardust Crusaders to uncover the secret past of the Bass Pro Shops pyramid. And one of those secrets looks kind of, uh... (''V1 meets the first Virtue of the game'') What is it doing? Looks kinda bright. I want to introduce you to [[SarcasmMode my favorite enemy]], the light of Allah. Your location is irrelevant, and so is theirs. No matter where you are, what you're doing, it will find you and give you [[EyeScream Discord Light Theme]]. Oh my god, it's a sex offender summoning circle. Do not t... tell Twitter. (V1 sees a Dual Wield powerup) Hang on, I think this is... (''V1 picks it up and now has two Marksman guns'')[[note]][[WebAnimation/PhaseConnect Pipkin Pippa's voice:]]'''''I'M GONNA FUCKING SHOOT UP A WAL-MAAAAART!!!'''''[[/note]] Holy shit it is. This is the best game ever made. I fucking love Coinstar. (''clips are shown of V1 killing demons with Dual Wield guns'') I'm going to teach you motherfuckers a Smith & Lesson. This is just like my favorite movie, "[[WesternAnimation/ThePrinceOfEgypt Bible]] Franchise/{{Shrek}}." Ramses, let my people in.

->'''[=Max0r=]:''' NO NO NO IT CAN'T BE. ''(V1 stares upon the ruins of [[RuinsOfTheModernAge the Statue of Liberty and Big Ben]])'' The British are real![[note]]It's the Timey Whimey Bing Bong/[[red:DO YOU HAVE A LICENSE FOR THAT]][[/note]] So the game wants you to make a bridge so just, uh, do a [[AdvancedMovementTechnique slam storage long jump]]. If you do it wrong, you'll ascend to Heaven? Wait, so what happens if I pick up [[SerialEscalation two of them]]? ''(V1 picks up a second Dual Wield and [[MultiArmedAndDangerous a third gun]] appears)'' [[EvilLaugh [Maniacal Laughter]]] I'm not sure if it works like that! Nobody helps me do the dishes in this fucking house. So that means if I get another one, then... ''(V1 picks up a third Dual Wield and has [[MoreDakka four guns]])'' Jesus Christ, I can't hear anything! So we finish playing "[[WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants Squidward Mode]]" and move onto more enriching activities such as... [[DroneOfDread hurricane siren]]. Fuck I need that to sleep. This boss just has a rock and apparently a [[EpicFlail flexible schedule]]. This ''VideoGame/{{Rust}}'' server fucking sucks. His main attacks are jumping and beating you with a [[red: rock]].[[note]]Can you draw her beating me with a rock[[/note]] You know, like a monkey. Me when I see an Ableist online (I am a Cainist). So this fight is weird, but don't worry. He doesnt have to stay there. You might be able to run away... [[red: TEMPORARILY]]. So uh... jump height scales w/distance. ''(V1 is hiding indoors)'' [[OhCrap Oh God]]... [[evil: He's coming]]. My Brother in ''Christ'' this is the spawn! Jesus, that's the actual noise he's making. Oh God there's a Palestinian in the elevator. [[FalseReassurance Yeah this seems pretty normal to me]]. [[TemptingFate I think he's gone]].\\

->(the floor of the level is immediately flooded) That's not a good sign. So welcome back to the water level. On today's episode, visiting Spongebob. This really is the rock bottom experience. This isn't the trip I asked for, but, uh... (the silhouette of the Leviathan is seen in the distance) it's about to get a lot more eventful. (V1 is brought back up to the surface onto a single wooden platform to fight the Leviathan) After all this time, I finally made it. Sea World Ohio. (clips of V1 fighting the Leviathan are shown) Welcome to the Bass Pro Shops final boss. Shamu hasn't been the same since he tried crack.[[note]]"I'm not addicted to water bro, I just need my fix."[[/note]] Top 10 episodes of ''Series/RiverMonsters''. [[ClickbaitGag Number 3 will surprise you]]. [[NonSequitur Honey would you still love me if I was a worm]]? I bet you're wondering right about now, how does the game balance such a massive fight? Well, it does not. There are two different ways to play this boss, and one of them is the wrong way. For instance, you could [[BoringButPractical stay on the platform]], dodge his attacks, shoot at him like [[WhoShotJFK the government shot Kennedy]][[note]]This is a joke I am joking[[/note]] and yeah, that would probably kill him, especially if it was [[BoomHeadshot a headshot]]. Or you can do whatever this shit is. (V1 is using the Whiplash to hook onto the Leviathan and ride it) Make sure to walk your dog every day. This works precisely how it looks. That is to say, like a really good time. Doesn't this game look fun to you? From this moment onward, [[ColossusClimb the ground is now optional]], and no, there is no cooldown. The only limit is how hard you can ball.[[note]]Fuck it, we ball.[[/note]] Now if you're anything like me, you're probably asking yourself, "How do I ride this?" Not only is this a possibility, it is an [[red: optimility]]. (V1 is shooting at the [[AttackItsWeakPoint heart of the Leviathan]]) How else am I going to shoot the screaming child? Just don't spend too long or you'll be sent to space. Honestly, best boss in the whole game, when I can see him. Bastard changed my zip code. Is this way to play balanced? No. Is it comprehensible? Absolutely not. I'm kind of figuring things out as they go.[[note]]Please be patient I am going insane[[/note]] But it is definitely very, very fun, and that is all I need. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to go fishing "the fun way." (V1 defeats the Leviathan, making it blow up)\\

'''[=Max0r=]:''' ...pretty amusing. I, however, do not. Every attack, every toss[[note]][[blue:AMONG US]][[/note]], every bullshit sends my camera into a different hemisphere and if you weren't ready for it, that's okay. Because he's ready for you. POV: You ask for the time in London. Needless to say, this fight is wacky, but also really easy. Not for lack of trying, though, but rather because of the many lessons our journey has given us, and also the horrifying places that we've been. I'm looking at you, [[VideoGame/CrashBandicoot Stache Trade Route]]. Look, what I'm trying to say is V2 makes every game easier. ''(Several more clips of V1 and Gabriel's battle play out)''\\