History Quotes / KleptomaniacHero

->'''Shrek:''' Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you. Unless I can't find you, or if I forget.

->;;What do I ''want?'' I don't really know. Most of the time I ignore my quest and walk into the homes of others, riffling through people's shelves...;;

->;;I didn't know {{immortality}} came with a license to steal, but whatever.;;

-->-- '''Leucos''', ''VideoGame/GloryOfHeracles''

-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment The Spoony One]]''', ''LetsPlay VideoGame/Phantasmagoria2''

->''It's not "Stealing." It's "Adding to my Inventory."''
-->-- '''Ben''', ''VideoGame/BenThereDanThat''

[[folder:Film]]

->'''Black Mask:''' Amazo was going to buy my way up into high-end international trafficking. Now I'm forced to keep rooting around in this local leg-breaking garbage! And he gives me bat trouble — who blows the damn robot's head off! I could have at least sold it for scrap... but Batman kept it.\\
'''Ms. Li:''' Yes. Batman likes to keep things.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/BatmanUnderTheRedHood''

->Prepare to loot your way through the ruins of {{UsefulNotes/Boston}}, leaving a freedom trail of naked corpses in your wake as you rummage through garbage cans for scrap to fulfill your insatiable gun-modding habits. In a post-apocalyptic version of ''Series/Hoarders'', where you'll recycle more than you '''ever''' will in real life. Oooh, is that Aluminum?

->Prepare to loot your way through the ruins of UsefulNotes/Boston, leaving a freedom trail of naked corpses in your wake as you rummage through garbage cans for scrap to fulfill your insatiable gun-modding habits. In a post-apocalyptic version of ''Series/Hoarders'', where you'll recycle more than you '''ever''' will in real life. Oooh, is that Aluminum?

'''Drax:''' Right. [[VerbalBackspace He didn't steal some of those.]] [[ImplausibleDeniability I don't know why they're chasing us.]] [[BlatantLies What a mystery this is]].\\

->"You cad! Stealing the cook's tip like that! You're lucky she didn't see you."

->It's not "Stealing." It's "Adding to my Inventory."

->If we kill them, we get their stuff!

->I wonder why it's so hard to resist looking inside these barrels?

->What do I ''want?'' I don't really know. Most of the time I ignore my quest and walk into the homes of others, riffling through people's shelves...

->I didn't know {{immortality}} came with a license to steal, but whatever.

->Heroes?! You're thieves pillaging the town before the army destroys everything! You're no heroes, you're scavengers!
-->-- '''Petula''', ''You Are Not The Hero''

->I like how ''Deus Ex''[='=]s dystopia is extra-depressing because, on top of the Illuminati ruining everything behind the scenes, everybody's also gotta worry about you breaking into their apartments and stealing all their beer.

-->-- Website/TheGrandListOfConsoleRolePlayingGameCliches

->Hey, look, I'm the hero here. Will you quit accusing me of stealing things?

->Well, there's the holly, anyway. (''chortling'') Of course it's in there. Why ''wouldn't'' in be in the wardrobe? I keep, like, ''fuckloads'' of holly in my wardrobe. I got a whole fuckin' bushel in me cubbard! And an elderberry tree in the bath.
-->-- '''Creator/JimSterling''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WG8aby92lJQ on]] ''Guise of the Wolf''

->We have to check the pants for any evidence we might find. "Sir, let me check your pants," I say clumsily. I don't think he's going for it.

->What the hell am I looking at? Seriously... ''and I can collect it!'' So Curtis sees a pile of milky-green phlegm that just emerged from the throat of an [[HumanoidAbomination alien creature]] during its death rattle, and his first instinct is to scoop it up and stuff it in his pocket?\\
(''After an awkward moment between Curtis and a coworker'') What does it say about me as a person that my first instinct is to rifle through her desk for useful items?

-->-- Blog/ThingsMrWelchIsNoLongerAllowedToDoInAnRPG

->If "{{Adventure Game}}s" were a medical condition, the first symptom would be [[SelectiveMemory amnesia]] and the second would be kleptomania.

->"Death! Death, help me stuff these pot roasts into these candles. I can't let [[MaliciousMisnaming Ballmont]] get to them. Last time I had pot roast, he stole them! Fucking bastard! Goddamnit, help me stuff this money into these lanterns. Fucking Belmont keeps stealing all of my cash!"
-->--Vlad Dracula von Tepes, ''WebAnimation/ADayInDraculasLife''

->He says I'm welcome to stay here, but please don't steal anything. I wonder what that means? [[ImmediateSelfContradiction Anyway, in the back he has a copy of that Temporal Incantations book!]] We're gonna need that. And up in the attic, he has a fancy rapier. That could be useful too, so this visit's a pretty good haul!

-->-- WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse, [[Recap/StevenUniverseS3E6StevenFloats "Steven Floats"]]

->'''[[Creator/BenCroshaw Yahtzee]]:''' Once again, I spot something that's one pixel big: a [[CommonplaceRare plectrum]]. And specifically because the game kinda guilts me for taking it, [[ThrewMyBikeOnTheRoof I'm gonna take it.]]\\

->"He says I'm welcome to stay here, but please don't steal anything. I wonder what that means? [[ImmediateSelfContradiction Anyway, in the back he has a copy of that Temporal Incantations book!]] We're gonna need that. And up in the attic, he has a fancy rapier. That could be useful too, so this visit's a pretty good haul!"

->Well, there's the holly, anyway. (''chortling'') Of course it's in there. Why ''wouldn't'' in be in the wardrobe? I keep, like, ''fuckloads'' of holly in my wardrobe. I got a whole fuckin' bushel [[YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe in me cubbard!]] And an elderberry tree in the bath.

->[[PrivateEyeMonologue We have to check the pants for any evidence we might find.]] "Sir, let me check your pants," I say clumsily. [[ThatCameOutWrong I don't think he's going for it.]]

-->-- '''[[PlayerCharacter The Chosen One]]''', ''VideoGame/{{Fallout 2}}''

-->-- ''VideoGame/{{Touhou}} Youyoumu ~ Perfect Cherry Blossom''

-->-- ''VideoGame/{{Touhou}} Chireiden ~ Subterranean Animism''

-->--'''Patricia Tannis''', ''Videogame/Borderlands3''

-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment The Spoony One]]''', ''LetsPlay VideoGame/{{Phantasmagoria 2}}''

'''[[MissionControl Alice]]:''' We still have a long way to go. Let's go the depths of the underworld. Hang in there.\\

-->-- '''Narrator''', ''Amazon: Guardians of Eden''

->"There's a what!? A Bellmont in the castle-Death! Death, help me cram this bag of money into this lantern. Fucking [[MaliciousMisnaming Ballmont]] keeps stealing all of my cash! Werewolf, you hide this pot roast in that candlestick. Last time I had these pot roasts, he stole them, the bastard."