Line #45 Quotes/KleptomaniacHero


1	[[foldercontrol]]
2
3	[[folder:Fan Fiction]]
4
5	->'''Kaidan:''' You'll be fine, Garrus. If you're ever in doubt, just ask yourself: [[WhatWouldXDo "What Would Shepard Do?"]]\
6	'''Garrus:''' [[LampshadeHanging Oh, that's easy]]! [[RunningGag Search every nook and cranny, open everything that isn't locked down and hack open anything that is.]] [[ViolationOfCommonSense Even in the middle of a battle.]]
7	-->-- ''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5639538/1/Accidental_Hero_of_the_Galaxy Accidental Hero of the Galaxy]]'', a ''Franchise/MassEffect'' 'fic
8
9	->In any case, borrowing things from people's workshops isn't stealing. It's collecting evidence. Expanding her inventory. She'll return it as soon as she's done with it, really.\
10	It's worked out well for her in the last who-knows-how-many cases.
11	-->-- ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/works/2808746 don't shake it]]'', a ''VideoGame/NancyDrew'' 'fic
12
13	[[/folder]]
14
15	[[folder:Films -- Animated]]
16	->'''Black Mask:''' Amazo was going to buy my way up into high-end international trafficking. Now I'm forced to keep rooting around in this local leg-breaking garbage! And he gives me bat trouble — who blows the damn robot's head off! I could have at least sold it for scrap... but Batman kept it.\
17	'''Ms. Li:''' Yes. Batman likes to keep things.
18	-->-- ''WesternAnimation/BatmanUnderTheRedHood''
19
20	->'''Shrek:''' Thank you, gentlemen! Someday I will repay you. Unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
21	-->--''WesternAnimation/Shrek2''
22	[[/folder]]
23
24	[[folder:Films -- Live-Action]]
25
26	->'''Peter:''' This is weird. We've got a Sovereign fleet approaching from the rear.\
27	'''Gamora:''' Why would they do that?\
28	'''Drax:''' Probably because Rocket stole some of their batteries.\
29	'''Rocket:''' Dude!\
30	'''Drax:''' Right. [[VerbalBackspace He didn't steal some of those]]. [[ImplausibleDeniability I don't know why they're chasing us.]] What a mystery this is.\
31	''[the Sovereign fleet opens fire, forcing the ''Milano'' to take evasive action]''\
32	'''Peter:''' [[WhatTheHellHero What were you thinking?!]]\
33	'''Rocket:''' Dude, they were ''really easy'' to steal.\
34	'''Gamora:''' [[NotEvenBotheringWithAnExcuse That's your defense]]?!
35	-->-- ''Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxyVol2''
36
37	->'''Dr. Karen Jenson''': Oh, great. Now you're robbing him. You gonna rob me, too?\
38	'''Blade''': How do you think that we fund this organization, huh? We're not exactly the March of Dimes.
39	-->--''Film/Blade1998''
40
41	[[/folder]]
42
43	[[folder:Podcasts]]
44	->'''Brett:''' [A letter] with a lot of stamps catches my eye. I pull it out. This one's from Peter.\
45	'''Sandra:''' No, we’re not looking for a letter.\
46	'''Brett:''' Can I open it?\
47	'''Sandra:''' It's ''nothing''. Forget it.\
48	'''Brett:''' I open it anyway.
49	-->--''Podcast/InStrangeWoods''
50	[[/folder]]
51
52	[[folder:Video Games]]
53
54	->''"You cad! Stealing the cook's tip like that! You're lucky she didn't see you."''
55	-->-- '''Narrator''', ''VideoGame/AmazonGuardiansOfEden''
56
57	->'''Pistol of Baal:''' The crimson teardrop of the Blood Angels chapter is carved into the grip of this Mk II bolt pistol. Blood Ravens armourers claim this dates from a ceremonial exchange of arms between the two chapters in M37. Blood Angels archivists have no records of any such exchange.\
58	'''Favoured of Baradiel:''' This fine power armor is said to incorporate several modifications favored by Dark Angels Master Baradiel. How the Blood Ravens artificers would know of these techniques and preferences is unclear.\
59	'''Talon of the Doom Eagle:''' Thought to be of a set with the similarly-named power axe "Eagle Talon," this plasma pistol was recovered on Balassu Primaris. As with its companion, this weapon bears the heraldry of the Doom Eagles but was found far from any recorded activities of that chapter.
60	-->-- ''VideoGame/DawnOfWar II'' weapon descriptions, and origin of the "Bloody Magpies" meme
61
62	->''If we kill them, we get their stuff!''
63	-->-- '''Isabela''', ''VideoGame/DragonAgeII''
64
65	->''I wonder why it's so hard to resist looking inside these barrels?''
66	-->-- '''Polka''', ''VideoGame/EternalSonata''
67
68	->'''[[VideoGame/FinalFantasyX Tidus]]:''' You're just gonna ''take'' [[InexplicableTreasureChests that?]]\
69	'''[[VideoGame/FinalFantasyII Firion]]:''' What? It's free!
70	-->-- ''VideoGame/DissidiaFinalFantasy''
71
72	->"What do I ''want?'' I don't really know. Most of the time I ignore my quest and walk into the homes of others, riffling through people's shelves..."
73	-->-- '''[[PlayerCharacter The Chosen One]]''', ''VideoGame/Fallout2''
74
75	->"I didn't know {{immortality}} came with a license to steal, but whatever."
76	-->-- '''Leucos''', ''VideoGame/GloryOfHeraclesDS''
77
78	->'''Shepard:''' Aha!\
79	'''Kasumi:''' Found a sample?\
80	'''Shepard:''' No, a credit chit.
81	-->-- ''VideoGame/MassEffect2''
82
83	->'''Alice:''' Walk into people's houses and take things...? Are you a thief or something?\
84	'''Luka:''' There have been some who have abused that privilege. I don't think someone like that is a true hero, though.
85	-->-- ''Monster Girl Quest''
86
87	->'''Ewan:''' You might want to ease up on the stealing.\
88	'''Nancy:''' I'll give them back. I'm just investigating.\
89	'''Ewan:''' Sure. Avoid ''investigating'' any big-ticket items during your visit. I really hate the embassy people.
90	-->-- ''VideoGame/NancyDrew: The Silent Spy''
91
92	->'''Nancy:''' I have no idea what this is, but after everything I went through to get here, I'm taking it.
93	-->-- ''VideoGame/NancyDrew: Danger By Design''
94
95	->'''Reimu:''' I'd heard that items from Mayohiga will make you lucky if you take them home...\
96	'''Chen:''' They will.\
97	'''Reimu:''' ''Then let the plundering begin!''\
98	'''Chen:''' W-what?!
99	-->-- ''VideoGame/TouhouYouyoumuPerfectCherryBlossom''
100
101	->'''[[CuteWitch Marisa]]:''' Hey, so I guess this place isn't the last dungeon?\
102	'''[[MissionControl Alice]]:''' We still have a long way to go. Let's go to the depths of the underworld. Hang in there.\
103	'''[[PsychicPowers Satori]]:''' [[ForgotAboutTheMindReader "Before that, let's search the house..."]] you think. I won't allow that. Please head to the courtyard immediately.\
104	'''Marisa:''' Damn.
105	-->-- ''VideoGame/TouhouChireidenSubterraneanAnimism''
106
107	->''Heroes?! You're thieves pillaging the town before the army destroys everything! You're no heroes, you're scavengers!''
108	-->-- '''Petula''', ''VideoGame/YouAreNotTheHero''
109
110	->'''Ashley:''' There's some charcoal in the fireplace. It could be useful.
111	->'''D:''' Charcoal? What are you going to use that for?
112	->'''Ashley:''' Oh, it could come in handy. You never know.
113	->'''D:''' You're a strange one.
114	-->-- ''VideoGame/AnotherCode: Two Memories''
115
116	->'''Reformed Cultist:''' Our ill-gotten treasure is behind this door! We did despicable things to amass it - desecrated tombs, robbed corpses... Things [[PlayerCharacter you]] would never do!
117	-->-- ''VideoGame/DiabloIII''
118
119	->''I've heard stories about your kind... You go into strangers' houses, helping yourself to the contents of their drawers and smashing all their pots.''
120	-->-- '''Skelaton Guard''', ''VideoGame/DragonQuestBuilders2''
121
122	->'' While I analyze this priceless piece of alien technology, you may loot everything outside which isn't nailed down.''
123	-->--'''Patricia Tannis''', ''VideoGame/Borderlands3''
124
125	->'''Sam:''' I think we need these binoculars more than Bosco does.
126	->'''Max:''' Ummm, not really.
127	->'''Sam:''' Well, no. These incessant rationalizations for our questionable tactics do not, in all honesty, have much merit to them, and yet there remains a very real compulsion to say them.
128	->[beat]
129	->'''Max:''' He doesn't really need the binoculars anyway.
130	->'''Sam:''' Yeah, right [mumble].
131	->'''Max:''' Right, yeah [mumble].
132	--> --''[[Videogame/SamAndMaxFreelancePolice Sam & Max Save the World]],'' "Reality 2.0"
133
134	->''Hey! Young man! A grown boy like you entering a person's house without permission?! I want to talk to your parents! Oh well. [[NotSoAboveItAll This isn't my house anyway]].''
135	-->-- '''Man in Impa's House''', ''VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaOcarinaOfTime''
136
137	->''[[SarcasmMode Yes, why not steal anything that is not nailed down? That is sure to impress your Hosts.]]''
138	-->-- '''[[SmugSuper Heimdall]] after Atreus picks up a bag of Hacksilver''', ''VideoGame/GodOfWarRagnarok''
139
140	->''Don't forget to always look in the dressers in peoples' houses. Sometimes they have good stuff. Also, remember to take that stuff.''
141	-->-- ''VideoGame/MoonRemixRPGAdventure''
142	[[/folder]]
143
144	[[folder:Visual Novels]]
145
146	->''"I've discovered recently I have a penchant for exploring the contents of others' wastepaper baskets."''
147	-->-- '''Herlock Sholmes''', ''VisualNovel/TheGreatAceAttorney''
148
149	[[/folder]]
150
151	[[folder:Webcomics]]
152
153	->'''Random Citizen 1''': He left with all my possessions, and he calls himself a hero.\
154	'''Random Citizen 2''': And you didn't stop him... because...?\
155	'''Random Citizen 1''': Hello! His sword is as big as ''me''.
156	-->-- ''Webcomic/{{Adventurers}}'' [[http://adventurers.keenspot.com/d/0330.html #330]]
157
158	->'''Black Mage:''' Didn't the pirates take everything already?\
159	'''Thief:''' They left everything that was nailed down. I did not.
160	-->-- ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater''
161
162	->'''Obi-Wan''': So, we're just sitting in a room, waiting for these Trade Federation dudes to talk to us?\
163	'''GM''': Right.\
164	'''Qui-Gon''': We search the room.\
165	'''GM''': What?\
166	'''Qui-Gon''': We search the room. Anything valuable?\
167	'''GM''': It's a waiting room! You're ''ambassadors!''\
168	'''Qui-Gon''': Well what do you want us to do? There's not even anyone to talk to except a butler robot.\
169	'''GM''': "Protocol droid." And what about some in-character conversation?\
170	'''Qui-Gon''': "Say Obi-Wan, how about we search the room?"
171	-->-- ''Webcomic/DarthsAndDroids''
172
173	->Chests are everywhere in this lab, and people find it all too tempting to sneak their personal belongings into them for safe keeping. That is, until the goods are stolen shortly after by those who can't resist looting every chest they encounter, which is everybody.
174	-->-- ''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}''
175
176	->'''Mimic:''' Y'r message of personal responsibility is a bit undercut when y'r in th' middle a lootin' an unconscious person.\
177	'''Stabs:''' Doing the job also means getting ''paid'' for doing the job.
178	-->-- ''Webcomic/RustyAndCo'', [[https://rustyandco.com/comic/level-10-51/ 10-51]]
179
180	[[/folder]]
181
182	[[folder:Web Original]]
183
184	->'''Matsuda:''' Can I have my phone back, please?\
185	'''L:''' I think you know the answer to that.
186	-->-- ''[[WebVideo/DeathNoteTheAbridgedSeriesTeamDattebayo Death Note: The Abridged Series (Team Dattebayo)]]''
187
188	->''I like how ''Deus Ex''[='=]s dystopia is extra-depressing because, on top of the Illuminati ruining everything behind the scenes, everybody's also gotta worry about you breaking into their apartments and stealing all their beer.''
189	-->--'''[[WebVideo/SuperBunnyHop George Weidman]]''' on ''VideoGame/DeusExMankindDivided''
190
191	->'''[[VideoGame/{{Thief}} Garrett's Principle]]:''' Let's not mince words: you're a thief. You can walk into just about anybody's house like the door wasn't even locked. You just barge right in and start looking for stuff. Anything you can find that's not nailed down (or on fire) is yours to keep. You will often walk into perfect strangers' houses, lift their precious artifacts, and then chat with them like you were old neighbors as you head back out with their family heirlooms under your arm. Unfortunately, this never works in stores.
192	-->-- ''Website/TheGrandListOfConsoleRolePlayingGameCliches''
193
194	->Prepare to loot your way through the ruins of {{UsefulNotes/Boston}}, leaving a freedom trail of naked corpses in your wake as you rummage through garbage cans for scrap to fulfill your insatiable gun-modding habits. In a post-apocalyptic version of ''{{Series/Hoarders}}'', where you'll recycle more than you '''ever''' will in real life. Oooh, is that Aluminum?
195	-->--'''WebVideo/HonestTrailers''', ''VideoGame/Fallout4''
196
197	->''Hey, look, I'm the hero here. Will you quit accusing me of stealing things?''
198	-->-- '''Link''', ''WebVideo/TheLegendOfZeldaTheAbridgedSeries''
199
200	->''Well, there's the holly, anyway. (''chortling'') Of course it's in there. Why ''wouldn't'' in be in the wardrobe? I keep, like, ''fuckloads'' of holly in my wardrobe. I got a whole fuckin' bushel in me cubbard! And an elderberry tree in the bath.''
201	-->-- '''Creator/JimSterling''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WG8aby92lJQ on]] ''VideoGame/GuiseOfTheWolf''
202
203	->'''Billy:''' Could you guys please stop going through my house?\
204	'''Bart:''' But... we're RPG characters!
205	-->-- ''[[http://whatdoesgodneedwithastarship.com Xenogears: A Rope of Robots]]'', a LetsPlay of ''VideoGame/{{Xenogears}}''
206
207	->''We have to check the pants for any evidence we might find. "Sir, let me check your pants," I say clumsily. I don't think he's going for it.''
208	-->-- '''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTK7V2uilyE Splattercat]]''', ''Let's Play VideoGame/NoirSyndrome''
209
210	->''What the hell am I looking at? Seriously... ''and I can collect it!'' So Curtis sees a pile of milky-green phlegm that just emerged from the throat of an [[HumanoidAbomination alien creature]] during its death rattle, and his first instinct is to scoop it up and stuff it in his pocket?\
211	(''After an awkward moment between Curtis and a coworker'') What does it say about me as a person that my first instinct is to rifle through her desk for useful items?''
212	-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment The Spoony One]]''', ''LetsPlay [[VideoGame/PhantasmagoriaAPuzzleOfFlesh Phantasmagoria 2]]''
213
214	->"Dibs" is not a term of bereavement.
215	-->-- ''Blog/ThingsMrWelchIsNoLongerAllowedToDoInAnRPG''
216
217	->'''[[@/LeChuck4 GG]]''': Yeah. Remember what [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyIX Mr. Kuja]] [said] about the high security on the lower levels? He wasn't kidding. Bears, land octopi, tigers... a whole lot of guardian creatures are living down there. \
218	'''[[Franchise/{{Disgaea}} Asagi]]''': Woah, seriously? You went exploring... huh. You find any nice loot in the lower levels? \
219	'''GG''': Yeah, but I left it there. I mean, how much of a douchebag would I be if I stole from the guy giving me a place to not-sleep?
220	-->-- ''Roleplay/WeAreOurAvatars'', after GG Explored the Desert Palace
221
222	->''If "{{Adventure Game}}s" were a medical condition, the first symptom would be [[SelectiveMemory amnesia]] and the second would be kleptomania.''
223	-->-- '''Yahtzee''' reviewing ''VideoGame/AmnesiaTheDarkDescent'', ''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''
224
225	->'''[[Creator/BenCroshaw Yahtzee]]:''' Once again, I spot something that's [[PixelHunt one pixel big]]: a [[CommonplaceRare plectrum]]. And specifically because the game kinda guilts me for taking it, [[ThrewMyBikeOnTheRoof I'm gonna take it.]]\
226	'''Gabriel:''' You've just saved the world one really annoying bass guitar demonstration at a party.
227	-->-- ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgU-KA46THc Let's Play]] VideoGame/{{Dreamweb}}''
228
229	->''"Death! Death, help me stuff these pot roasts into these candles. I can't let [[MaliciousMisnaming Ballmont]] get to them. Last time I had pot roast, he stole them! Fucking bastard! Goddamnit, help me stuff this money into these lanterns. Fucking Belmont keeps stealing all of my cash!"''
230	-->--'''Vlad Dracula von Tepes''', ''WebAnimation/ADayInDraculasLife''
231
232	->''He says I'm welcome to stay here, but please don't steal anything. I wonder what that means? [[ImmediateSelfContradiction Anyway, in the back he has a copy of that Temporal Incantations book!]] We're gonna need that. And up in the attic, he has a fancy rapier. That could be useful too, so this visit's a pretty good haul!''
233	-->--'''Ross Scott''' reviewing ''Veil Of Darkness'', ''WebVideo/RosssGameDungeon''
234
235	[[/folder]]
236
237	[[folder:Western Animation]]
238
239	->''(After several [[OffscreenCrash Offscreen Crashes)]]''
240	->'''Garnet:''' I found a phone.
241	->'''Amethyst:''' Whose is it?
242	->'''Garnet:''' That's not important.
243	-->-- ''WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse'', [[Recap/StevenUniverseS3E6StevenFloats "Steven Floats"]]
244	[[/folder]]
245

Context Quotes / KleptomaniacHero