History Quotes / ItsNotSupposedToWinOscars

->''"''Film/FiftyShadesOfGrey'' is going to win Oscars in the same universe where [[ParisHilton Parasite Hilton]] is going to sweep the [[GrammyAward Grammys]], Tori Spelling is going to sweet the Emmys, MerylStreep is going to sweep the [[GoldenRaspberryAward Razzies]], I’m going to win a Pulitzer for my dedication to writing about dick cheese and Creator/LindsayLohan is going to win something besides another court date. But ''Fifty Shades of Shit''[=’s=] screenwriter, Kelly Marcel, thinks that at the 2016 Oscars, 2015′s Best Actress Oscar winner, January Jones for ''[[HotterAndSexier The Mother Theresa Story]]'', will say the words, 'And the Oscar goes to JAMIE DORNAN,' as hell freezes over...If anybody’s going to get an Oscar for ''Fifty Shades of [[PornWithPlot Mom Jizz]]'' it better be the tampon, because it probably gives the most multi-layered performance in that shit."''

-->--''[[http://dlisted.com/2014/08/13/jamie-dornan-will-get-an-oscar-for-playing-christian-grey-so-says-fifty-shades-of-greys-screenwriter/ DListed]]'', "Jamie Dornan Will Get An Oscar For Playing Christian Grey, So Says ''Fifty Shades Of Grey[='=]’s [[SmallNameBigEgo Screenwriter]]"

->''"''[[Film/FiftyShadesOfGrey'' is going to win Oscars in the same universe where [[ParisHilton Parasite Hilton]] is going to sweep the [[GrammyAward Grammys]], Tori Spelling is going to sweet the [[EmmyAward Emmys]], MerylStreep is going to sweep the [[GoldenRaspberryAward Razzies]], I’m going to win a Pulitzer for my dedication to writing about dick cheese and Creator/LindsayLohan is going to win something besides another court date. But ''Fifty Shades of Shit''[=’s=] screenwriter, Kelly Marcel, thinks that at the 2016 Oscars, 2015′s Best Actress Oscar winner, January Jones for ''[[HotterAndSexier The Mother Theresa Story]]'', will say the words, 'And the Oscar goes to JAMIE DORNAN,' as hell freezes over...If anybody’s going to get an Oscar for ''Fifty Shades of [[PornWithPlot Mom Jizz]]'' it better be the tampon, because it probably gives the most multi-layered performance in that shit."''

->''"If anybody’s going to get an Oscar for ''[[Film/FiftyShadesOfGrey Fifty Shades of Mom Jizz]]'' it better be the tampon, because it probably gives the most multi-layered performance in that shit."''

-->--'''Creator/MeganFox on MichaelBay's critics

->''"One evening I introduced the editor of ''The New Yorker'' to several hundred of the essential players, as stars and magnates of the largest multitude are currently known. I quoted myself: "To be truly commercial is to do well that which should not be done at all." [[StunnedSilence Silence like the tomb]] engulfed these words. But the commercialites have [[BlueAndOrangeMorality their own weird integrity]], and their productions are often rather better than those of the ''[[TrueArtIsIncomprehensible auteurs]]'', as "serious" directors are inappropriately known in these parts."''
-->--'''Creator/GoreVidal''', ''Palimpsest''

->'''Caleb''': I tried to take in this comic in stages.\\
'''Chris''': Anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance?\\
'''Caleb''': “What would my 9-year-old self think?” “What would my 15-year-old self think?” 19, 21, and so on.
-->-- '''Chris Sims''' and'' Caleb''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/justice-league-1-review/ on]] ''JusticeLeague'' #1

->''"It didn't matter what ''[[Film/IndependenceDay ID4]]'' was about, but the trailer had a shot of the White House getting butt-fucked by a death ray, and who doesn't want to see that? Instant blockbuster."''

-->--'''WernerHerzog'''

-->--'''LaurenBacall'''

->''"Someone like Jean-Luc Godard is for me intellectual counterfeit money when compared to a good kung-fu film."''

->"Now if you'll permit me, I'd like to compare ''Film/RevengeOfTheSith'' with what is widely believed to be one of the greatest motion pictures ever made: ''Film/CitizenKane''. Is that fair? [[HypocrisyNod NOPE]]."

->''One evening I introduced the editor of ''The New Yorker'' to several hundred of the essential players, as stars and magnates of the largest multitude are currently known. I quoted myself: "To be truly commercial is to do well that which should not be done at all." [[StunnedSilence Silence like the tomb]] engulfed these words. But the commercialites have [[BlueAndOrangeMorality their own weird integrity]], and their productions are often rather better than those of the ''[[TrueArtIsIncomprehensible auteurs]]'', as "serious" directors are inappropriately known in these parts.''
-->--'''Creator/GoreVidal''', ''Palimpsest''

->''Should I even mention the plot of this movie? Do you ever think'' Hudson Hawk ''will have some brilliant [[DavidMamet Mamet]] dialog or tight scripting?''

-> "But SO many people keep telling me "Oh, it's a popcorn movie! Can't you just have fun? Nyeh..." Well, let me tell you something; a water slide is fun. All the slipping and sliding, it's just great. But if someone took you off the waterslide, shook you, gave you a noogie and then spat in your face and put you back on the water slide, you'd be like... "That wasn't fun; that was weird and annoying." And THAT'S this movie."

->''One evening I introduced the editor of ''The New Yorker'' to several hundred of the essential players, as stars and magnates of the largest multitude are currently known. I quoted myself: "To be truly commercial is to do well that which should not be done at all." Silence like the tomb engulfed these words. But the commercialites have [[BlueAndOrangeMorality their own weird integrity]], and their productions are often rather better than those of the ''[[TrueArtIsIncomprehensible auteurs]]'', as "serious" directors are inappropriately known in these parts.''

->''One evening I introduced the editor of ''The New Yorker'' to several hundred of the essential players, as stars and magnates of the largest multitude are currently known. I quoted myself: "To be truly commercial is to do well that which should not be done at all." Silence like the tomb engulfed these words. But the commercialites have their own weird integrity, and their productions are often rather better than those of the ''[[TrueArtIsIncomprehensible auteurs]]'', as "serious" directors are inappropriately known in these parts.''

->''One evening I introduced the editor of ''The New Yorker'' to to several hundred of the essential players, as stars and magnates of the largest multitude are currently known. I quoted myself: "To be truly commercial is to do well that which should not be done at all." Silence like the tomb engulfed these words. But the commercialites have their own weird integrity, and their productions are often rather better than those of the ''[[TrueArtIsIncomprehensible auteurs]]'', as "serious" directors are inappropriately known in these parts.''

->''Should I even mention the plot of this movie? Do you ever think Hudson Hawk will have some brilliant [[DavidMamet Mamet]] dialog or tight scripting?''
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Miles Antwiler]]''' [[http://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2010/01/26/hudson-hawk-1991-michael-lehmann/ on]] ''HudsonHawk''

-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Miles Antwiler]]''' [[http://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2010/01/26/hudson-hawk-1991-michael-lehmann/ on]] ''HudsonHawk'

->"I was making fun of ''Rocky 6'' being called ''[[{{Film/Rocky}} Rocky Balboa]]'', so I made a sarcastic comment: 'What are they gonna do, call it ''John Rambo''?' And '''[[{{Film/Rambo}} that's what they did!]]''' And I feel bad, like I picked on a retard or something. 'Hey, whaddya, RETARDED?! ..oh. I'm sorry."
-->--'''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd'''

-> "But SO many people keep telling me "Oh, it's a popcorn movie! Can't you just have fun? Nyeh..." Well, let me tell you something; a water slide is fun. All the slipping and sliding, it's just great. But if someone took you off the waterslide, shook you, gave you a noogie and then spat in your face and put you back on the water slide, you'd be like... "That wasn't fun; that was wierd and annoying." And THAT'S this movie."

-->-- [[WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic Nostalgia Critic]], ''IndependenceDay'' Review"

->"I was making fun of ''Rocky 6'' being called ''[[{{Film/Rocky}} Rocky Balboa]]'', so I made a sarcastic comment: "What are they gonna do, call it ''John Rambo''? And '''[[{{Film/Rambo}} that's what they did!]]''' And I feel bad, like I picked on a retard or something. 'Hey, whaddya, RETARDED?! ..oh. I'm sorry."

->"I was making fun of ''Rocky 6'' being called ''[[{{Film/Rocky}} Rocky Balboa]]'', so I made a sarcastic comment: "What are they gonna do, call it John Rambo? And [[{{Film/Rambo}} that's what they did!]] And I feel bad, like I picked on a retard or something. 'Hey, whaddya, RETARDED?? ..oh. I'm sorry."

->"Now if you'll permit me, I'd like to compare ''Film/RevengeOfTheSith'' with what is widely believed to be one of the greatest motion pictures ever made: ''Film/CitizenKane''. Is that fair? [[HypocracyNod NOPE]]."
-->-- '''[[WebOriginal/RedLetterMedia Mr. Plinkett]]'''

->"I was making fun of ''Rocky 6'' being called ''Film/RockyBalboa'', so I made a sarcastic comment: "What are they gonna do, call it John Rambo? And [[{{Film/Rambo}} that's what they did!]] And I feel bad, like I picked on a retard or something. 'Hey, whaddya, RETARDED?? ..oh. I'm sorry."
-->--'''Film/TheAngryvideoGameNerd